Author Topic: Introducing myself - 24y/o virgin and I've masturbated since I was 5 years old!!  (Read 2075 times)

Chewbacka

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Hi, my name is Santiago, I'm 24 and i've never had sex because I can't seem to get aroused by real girls, I have dated 7... This is my first time in this community and I just found out about all this theories that explain what could be happening to me. Also as the title says: I masturbate from a very early age, more details below...


First of all I am not a porn addict, i'm a masturbation addict since my imagination is very good I don't really need that much porn to orgasm, I just take some new ideas from there and then let my imagination run wild. I did of course watch some porn specially during my teen years but not too much, maybe once a week.

I was wondering what you guys think about this, since I am not actually a porn addict so I don't really know if this will work for me as well as for porn addicts, but then I was thinking what is the difference anyway? I run porn movies in my head when I masturbate and always remember postures, images, girls, pussies, dildos from porn movies and use them in my imagination. So I guess it's almost the same since the subconscious brain doesn't distinguish from real images/movies and imaginary images/movies.
What is a sure thing is that I do have sexual problems, I masturbate just for the sake of it, even when I don't want to masturbate.. for example: I need to study so before I start I go and masturbate.. then after 30mins again.. maybe some hours later again.. My max I think was 7 times in 1 day, my balls where in pain. But normally I do 1 a day.

Another crazy fact about me(apart from being 24 y/o virgin): I have been masturbating daily since I was 5 years old, yes believe it or not you can get erections being just 5 y/o. What happened is that my brother taught me to masturbate, so I tried it and I enjoyed it, kept doing it everyday until now..
I'm afraid that I could have caused irreversible damage to my brain after 20 years of daily masturbation, specially when you are so young and your brain is still developing  :-\
I still have faith tho, i remember last year there was a period when for many reasons I was like 10 days without fapping and I found myself being aroused by all time of girls, from old girls to ugly girls, so yeah there is still hope and I believe I can turn this problem around.


As I said before I dated 7 girls, forcing myself to do so because I lacked the sexual motivation and it was very hard, specially since I needed to attract them even when I wasn't feeling the attraction so much myself(they can pick up on this and it seems fake from me). I just chose them out of "aesthetic attraction".. Mostly what would happen was we would talk about all kind of boring things, I would force myself to touching them here and there then I would force a kiss and feel like I just kissed a wall, my penis was dead all the time, and then it was kinda awkward and I never called em back or vice-versa.
With one girl I also fingered her through the clothes and sucked her tits, but nothing happened either and she felt my abscense of attraction and stopped me after a while, it was useless.. That time I had my dick hard tho.. just that I wasn't too motivated to fuck her and so I didn't make the moves.


That's my situation.. I would like to hear from you guys, what do you think? anybody in a similar situation?
Also if you are interested I will start my no-fap challenge today(I'll leave the link below as soon as I start the thread), I need to start it since it's my last hope of having a sexual life, if that doesn't work I might have to be a virgin for the rest of my life... at least I have some good motivation there!


That's all for the intro, thanks for reading and sharing info/ideas,
signing out, Santiago.
« Last Edit: January 21, 2016, 10:58:32 AM by Chewbacka »

Gabe Deem

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Hey Santiago, Welcome to the Nation.

Although this forum is only focused on porn and its effects on users and partners, we could still help point you in the right direction to overcome your addiction. All addictions share the same fundamental brain changes, so a lot of the science and theories put forth on this site and on YBOP can be applied to your situation.

I won't offer much personal advice, other than abstain from porn fantasy, and M (for as long as you need/want to), and pursue a real partner, but I will point you to a page full of articles you will find informative and helpful. Take your time reading through them and soaking up the info presented in order to come up with a game plan. Each article contains several links that you can follow:

http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/masturbation-ejaculation-articles

Hope the best for you. Much Love
Twitter and Instagram @gabedeem. Please consider supporting Reboot Nation on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/gabedeem

Chewbacka

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Very much appreciated Gabe, I was just watching one of your youtube videos!

I know that my case is not exactly the same as porn addiction, but I think that I can benefit from the same healing process as porn addicts do: no fap/no porn/meeting real girls. I can learn from this community and hopefully in the future help other people going through the same.

By the way I don't think that there is too much difference for the brain between watching porn with your eyes and imagining all kind of things with your mind(which btw are mostly inspired in porn movies watched beforehand), that's why I will follow the same methods that people are using to cure their porn addiction and see what happens.

Anyway, thank you very much for your help, I will take a look at that link.

Much love!

maddscottm

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Hola Santiago
Just wanted to say welcome.  I think you're in the right place.  Have to agree with Gabe that the brain chemistry for addictions of all kinds is very similar.  Dropping the actions that create the wrong pathways in your brain allows for new healthy pathways to form.  That's the whole reboot process.  The fact that you don't get hard with real women just shows you that you're wired for the wrong things.  That fact that you get hard when you JO shows that your dick works fine.  So it's all in the brain.  Now you gotta get the normal healthy pathways to connect to yr junk.  That absolutely will happen for you when you complete your reboot.  There's a few million years of evolution working in your favor, against 19 yrs of solo sex.  Pretty good odds.
Like you, I was not a heavy P user, but nearly daily MO guy, often using just imagination, or re-enacting real sex I had with my wife, or watching animated GIFs of hot couples.  But streaming hi speed porn was only part of my tool kit.  I am off all P now, with occasional lapses...., am going 5 or more days without MO, versus 24 hrs, and hitting some of the tough spots in the process.  My addicted brain doesn't like the fact I am trying to nuke it for a healthy brain.  But its days are numbered.
I wish you all the best man.  Just know that there is a way to the other side of this,,,,i may take 9 months or 12 months or whatever, but you WILL get healthy, if you stick with this, and you will find a woman to make very happy in bed and in life.
Scott
« Last Edit: January 21, 2016, 04:51:13 PM by MaddScott »

Gabe Deem

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@ Chewbacka,
Quote
but I think that I can benefit from the same healing process as porn addicts do: no fap/no porn/meeting real girls. I can learn from this community and hopefully in the future help other people going through the same.

Absolutely you can. And I hope the best for you and I'm glad to have you here. All help is welcome, especially if you can tailor advice to porn addicts and people suffering porn-induced sexual dysfunctions.

Quote
I don't think that there is too much difference for the brain between watching porn with your eyes and imagining all kind of things with your mind(which btw are mostly inspired in porn movies watched beforehand)

It is true that fantasy fires up some of the same neural pathways as actually watching porn. However, one big difference, and the most important difference, is the novelty that porn provides. One can be shocked and surprised with never ending clicks, and can eventually lose the ability to be turned on by their own imagination due to desensitization and becoming dependent on novelty. This won't happen with imagination. This happened to me.

A lot of the information can be applied to other addictions, but what sets internet porn apart is unending novelty.

Glad you found the videos! Hope the best for you!
Twitter and Instagram @gabedeem. Please consider supporting Reboot Nation on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/gabedeem

Chewbacka

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Hola Santiago
Just wanted to say welcome.  I think you're in the right place.  Have to agree with Gabe that the brain chemistry for addictions of all kind is very similar.  Dropping the actions that create the wrong pathways in your brain allows for new healthy pathways to form.  That's the whole reboot process.  The fact that you don't get hard with real women just shows you that you're wired for the wrong things.  That fact that you get hard when you JO shows that your dick works fine.  So it's all in the brain.  Now you gotta get the normal healthy pathways to connect to yr junk.  That absolutely will happen for you when you complete your reboot.  There's a few million years of evolution working in your favor, against 19 yrs of solo sex.  Pretty good odds.
Like you, I was not a heavy P user, but nearly daily MO guy, often using just imagination, or re-enacting real sex I had with my wife, or watching animated GIFs of hot couples.  But streaming hi speed porn was only part of my tool kit.  I am off all P now, with occasional lapses...., am going 5 or more days without MO, versus 24 hrs, and hitting some of the tough spots in the process.  My addicted brain doesn't like the fact I am trying to nuke it for a healthy brain.  But its days are numbered.
I wish you all the best man.  Just know that there is a way to the other side of this,,,,i may take 9 months or 12 months or whatever, but you WILL get healthy, if you stick with this, and you will find a woman to make very happy in bed and in life.
Scott


Hey Scott, thank you for sharing your experience and for the words of encouragement.

I loved this: "There's a few million years of evolution working in your favor, against 19 yrs of solo sex.  Pretty good odds.", it raised my faith, thanks!


I wish you all the best in your journey too Scott, cya around!

Santiago.

Chewbacka

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It is true that fantasy fires up some of the same neural pathways as actually watching porn. However, one big difference, and the most important difference, is the novelty that porn provides. One can be shocked and surprised with never ending clicks, and can eventually lose the ability to be turned on by their own imagination due to desensitization and becoming dependent on novelty. This won't happen with imagination. This happened to me.

A lot of the information can be applied to other addictions, but what sets internet porn apart is unending novelty.

That's a good point actually, totally true, will keep it in mind while reading the material around, thanks!