Author Topic: 47yo, addicted to Porn and Masturbation since 13ish  (Read 7640 times)

harry

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Re: 47yo, addicted to Porn and Masturbation since 13ish
« Reply #25 on: February 05, 2016, 10:52:12 AM »
Hey Danny,

Congrats on the 15 days! Awesome.

Making a 'to do' is a great idea. I know when I have idle time, bad shit happens.

I've been struggling, too, lately, and I just keep posting and posting on this site to stay connected to my recovery and the men on this site. At times like this, I check in all day long to read the stories to gain the strength I need to get through the next moment, the next hour, or the next day. When I was new in AA, sometimes I would go to 3 or 4 meeting a day. I have to be willing to do whatever it takes.

Hang in there, I know it's tough, but you're doing great.


neonbluedanny

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Re: 47yo, addicted to Porn and Masturbation since 13ish
« Reply #26 on: February 08, 2016, 06:56:23 PM »
19 days and counting.

I still cannot believe I have gone this long with an orgasm and porn.
Danny



"Lord, give me enough coffee to change the things that need to change; and enough spare change to make that coffee as large as it can possibly be."

neonbluedanny

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Re: 47yo, addicted to Porn and Masturbation since 13ish
« Reply #27 on: February 10, 2016, 02:50:25 PM »
I do hope this is as bad as withdraw gets. I've been feeling like "Why the hell am I doing to myself?" and "What harm would one wank be?"

Everything else is suffering. The scale has barely moved since I gave up P&M. I haven't given in to P&M but temptation is around every corner like checking email, FB, watching TV, Listening to the radio, friends stopping by. I give in little bits here and there in other areas.

"I'll just have some chocolate on my strawberries."
"Oh low carb banana pancakes once or twice (or four times) a week are alright."
"I don't feel like turkey and brussels sprouts today. I'll go next door and get a Chicken Pot Pie, oh and some green beans, and CORN ON THE COB! OH COLESLAW! GIVE ME COLESLAW!!!!"

Forgive me if I sound like I am whining and complaining. I just need to vent... not that I expect it to help at all.  I really do feel like giving up on this Reboot. 20 days... I just don't know!
Danny



"Lord, give me enough coffee to change the things that need to change; and enough spare change to make that coffee as large as it can possibly be."

harry

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Re: 47yo, addicted to Porn and Masturbation since 13ish
« Reply #28 on: February 10, 2016, 05:44:49 PM »
Don't Despair - Danny,

Look, you're at 21 days already. It seems like you just joined the site. Be proud, damn proud of the huge accomplishment you have achieved. At times like this, I find it really helpful to think of all the things for which I am grateful. Make a list of all the things that have improved since you stopped. Sure, some of them are no doubt overshadowed by withdrawal symptoms, but I bet you can still list a bunch.

Do you really want to return to that dark place? Look what you posted when you first arrived -
"I've known for quite some time that I have a very serious issue with Porn and that I cannot go more than a few days without masturbating but more than that, for years (well over a decade) now I have been unable to get or keep an erection for more than a few seconds even with porn."

Venting is good, and you do not sound whinny. You are hurting. This isn't easy, but it will get better. I can say that honesty because at 67 days no PMO and 38 w/o MO, my dick is doing much better. I feel better. I have a better outlook on life. I am very hopeful that my next sexual experience will be a positive one.

My suggestion is to read a bunch of success stories, start taking cold showers (yes, I have been doing this, too, and it has been very helpful for withdrawal symptoms), and post on the site more often. Reach out for support, and try to find an accountability partner.



neonbluedanny

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Re: 47yo, addicted to Porn and Masturbation since 13ish
« Reply #29 on: February 14, 2016, 05:49:14 PM »
Venting the other day has helped. I am still struggling but I am doing better. Today I went out to a local dinner theatre LaComedia for Brunch and a play with a friend. I needed to do something other than work and sleep and work and sleep. It really was a great time and I laughed so much!

We're now having a big snow storm here so I have been watching movies and napping in my recliner. It's a nice rest day!
Danny



"Lord, give me enough coffee to change the things that need to change; and enough spare change to make that coffee as large as it can possibly be."

neonbluedanny

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Re: 47yo, addicted to Porn and Masturbation since 13ish
« Reply #30 on: February 15, 2016, 11:02:38 PM »
I still cannot believe that I've gone 26 days without M&P. 

I've been reading some but one question that I haven't really found an answer too is, when one is single, how does one find out of the reboot is working to bring back the ability to get an erection again?
Danny



"Lord, give me enough coffee to change the things that need to change; and enough spare change to make that coffee as large as it can possibly be."

harry

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Re: 47yo, addicted to Porn and Masturbation since 13ish
« Reply #31 on: February 16, 2016, 10:52:07 AM »
When the reboot starts working, you will start to have MW again. You may also have evening wood or middle of the night wood. Spontaneous erections are sign that the reboot is working, too.


unchained

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Re: 47yo, addicted to Porn and Masturbation since 13ish
« Reply #32 on: February 16, 2016, 12:54:21 PM »
I still cannot believe that I've gone 26 days without M&P. 

I've been reading some but one question that I haven't really found an answer too is, when one is single, how does one find out of the reboot is working to bring back the ability to get an erection again?

Congratulations!  26 days is no small accomplishment.

As stated, morning wood is a sign of improvement but don't get too caught up in worrying from day to day if you are waking up with an erection or not.  They kind-of come and go throughout the night and you may be getting erections but simply waking up in between them.

I'd like to say that I get spontaneous erections like when I was a teenager, but it hasn't happened.  To be honest I'm kind of glad because being horny all the time would make this process that much tougher.  In the end, you want an erection when it's time to have an erection and not be bothered with a constant hard-on when it is not appropriate.

I know it sounds impossible, but try not to think about or worry about your dick too much. For me, worrying led to testing which led to MO which eventually led to PMO which is what caused it not to work in the first place.

Just take it easy, focus on what got you this far and keep up your awesome progress.  Your dick will work soon enough.  There is too much proof and too many healed men out there for you to think otherwise.  Have faith and stay strong.

neonbluedanny

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Re: 47yo, addicted to Porn and Masturbation since 13ish
« Reply #33 on: February 20, 2016, 04:30:30 PM »
As you can see from my counter, I had a bad night. With that said I am taking it as a victory. I hadn't gone 28 days without P&M since a teen. 28 days was unheard of. So back on the straight and narrow once again!
Danny



"Lord, give me enough coffee to change the things that need to change; and enough spare change to make that coffee as large as it can possibly be."

harry

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Re: 47yo, addicted to Porn and Masturbation since 13ish
« Reply #34 on: February 21, 2016, 02:15:09 AM »
Welcome back!


neonbluedanny

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Re: 47yo, addicted to Porn and Masturbation since 13ish
« Reply #35 on: February 21, 2016, 05:07:25 PM »
I am slowly coming to the conclusion that I shouldn't try to overcome four addictions at the same time.
Danny



"Lord, give me enough coffee to change the things that need to change; and enough spare change to make that coffee as large as it can possibly be."

picard00

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Re: 47yo, addicted to Porn and Masturbation since 13ish
« Reply #36 on: February 22, 2016, 09:07:07 AM »
I came to Reboot Nation in January.  I'm 55 years old and have struggled with this all of my adult life... starting as a teenager.

You mentioned S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) in one of your earlier postings.  I, too, struggle with this.  But as I have not been doing PMO, I have found that the affect of S.A.D. are diminishing.  In fact, it may have been the PMO that was causing the depression.

Along with my faith, I have found a simple but "addictive" online game to occupy my mind:  Agario.  Very simple, but it keeps me from wanting to click on things I shouldn't.

Keep pressing on....