Author Topic: Day 13 of 90..  (Read 830 times)

Grover

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Day 13 of 90..
« on: January 14, 2016, 02:59:36 PM »
Hi guys (and gals?),

I'm usually not much of an attention seeker when it comes to vocalizing my problems, but given that there's apparently a community with likeminded "sufferers" I figured I might as well create a post/thread here to vent some of the struggles I've been going through for the past days.

First of all let me explain how I got here:

The last month or so I've been dating a girl (which to me was a rather significant thing, because I'm notoriously hopeless when it comes to finding girls I like who like me in return). First date I took her out to dinner, so far so good. Second date I cooked for her at my place and she ended up staying over. We made out and spooned for like half a day, but seeing as we didn't really engage in any sexual activity I didn't think much of the absent boner. Third date was last weekend, again at my place, and this time it did get to the point where we wanted to have sex. Needless to say (or I wouldn't be here writing to you guys now) there was a strong absence of activity in my nether regions.

We still had a good time and seeing as I got her off in a different way she didn't seem too bothered by it. But being a man in the supposed prime of my life (I'm 28) it did bother me a bit (more even as the week progressed) that I couldn't get it done when there was a beautiful and willing lady in bed with me. So I started doing some research and after a while stumbled upon this community and namely Gabe's vlogs on the subject of PIED.

To me, the more I read about it the more it all made sense. As a rather introverted person I do not tend to go out much, and living alone in a room with a computer during university (being the majority of my 20s) the easy accessibility of porn has evidently led to the dreaded overindulgence we've all fallen for. I never saw myself as much of a porn addict and never was aware of the negative consequences of overindulgence. There have been periods where I'd go for 3 or more sessions a day, especially when my grades were down or I was easily bored, but there have also been weeks where I'd go for 1 or maybe 2 in total. Or even periods of some abstinence as I was abroad living with others (I'm pretty much using my irregular addiction as a string of hope that I'll get over it sooner, which may yet prove entirely false).

Now, I find it difficult to gauge how many symptoms I am experiencing and I suppose as time goes on and I beat this wretched habit I will find out. I know for a fact I have experienced ED and looking back I cannot remember when the last time was I could get an erection that wasn't inspired by fantasy or porn. I don't remember when the last time I got morning wood was, although I believe it hasn't been a multitude of years and there has been some minor activity there of late with only days of abstinence.

So the bottom line I guess is, I've gotten a rude wake-up call about my bad habits and tomorrow will mark the first week I've gone without (although I have been in cuddle/make-out/third base relations with a girl since). I've been reading up on the various guides in this community and am hoping I will start noticing the improvements mentioned here (or even the negative phases so at least I know I'm progressing).

One of the advises here led to a bit of irony I might share with you lot while I'm at it: Many guides recommend taking up weight lifting to put your mind and body off the addiction. Well, I got some dumbbells and started doing push-ups, and consequently blew out my back. So thanks for that advice! ;-P

Either way, I don't know what I'm expecting from posting this other than that it gets things off my own mind a bit. Hope you all have a speedy recovery!

Cheers.
« Last Edit: January 21, 2016, 02:20:52 PM by Grover »

AdamS

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Re: Day 6 of 90..
« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2016, 02:12:04 PM »
You're right on track Grover. Your back may not be, but thats ok too :P :P.  Keep your will strong and you will be back to normal downstairs in no time! Welcome to the community and I wish you all the best of luck with your journey!

Also congrats on making it through a week PMO Free!! Keep it up!!

-AdamS
« Last Edit: January 15, 2016, 02:20:14 PM by AdamS »
Habits Determine Your Success

baller1995

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Re: Day 6 of 90..
« Reply #2 on: January 15, 2016, 02:16:44 PM »
Sounds great Grover. Keep on truckin'. You'll get there man.

Grover

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Re: Day 6 of 90..
« Reply #3 on: January 21, 2016, 02:20:40 PM »
Thanks for the kind words, fellers.

Seeing as it's been approximately two weeks since I started this whole thing I figured I'd post a new update to get some stuff off my chest again.

I read somewhere early on that the second week was the hardest in the rehab process. I haven't been able to relocate the article I read that in, but I can say that so far this has held true for me. Especially in the last few days the urge to wrestle the ole trouser snake has been rising and I'm quite glad I've been stuffing my after work schedule with activities (visiting friends etc.) as to limit my alone time in the neighborhood of a computer. Today is my first evening of actually being alone for a prolonged time this week, and I think my porn blocker may have had some contribution to my staying on the path.

So yeah. Two weeks in, hurrah I suppose. Looking forward to actually seeing some results.