Author Topic: Just for clarification can I have thoughts of vanilla sex?  (Read 1698 times)

Qwerty99

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 10
    • View Profile
Just for clarification can I have thoughts of vanilla sex?
« on: June 02, 2014, 11:32:21 PM »
I'm really confused and wish someone would clear this up for me, I never really watched porn in the traditional sense, like a man having hardcore sex with a woman, it was bdsm femdom related videos and pictures and that's all that got me up, I used to see women online that I met for my fantasies in real life and get hard to them, but if sex was offered I couldn't, so wouldn't thinking about natural vanilla sex or just being naked with a woman rewire my brain to be attracted to that instead so when I meet a real woman I have no problems getting up?

Mart71

  • Guest
Re: Just for clarification can I have thoughts of vanilla sex?
« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2014, 06:28:44 AM »
I don't think "thinking about natural vanilla sex" works as rewiring. The rewiring process needs to have a real, live partner present. Just "thinking" about vanilla sex doesn't change your brain. But yeah, if you can find a partner outside your fetish, that might work.

If you stay away from your fetish and the fetish is porn-induced, a reboot might make you more aroused by vanilla sex. If you are genuinely getting very aroused by your fetish though (meaning it is not a result of porn), a reboot probably won't help with that.

Just my 2ct

Bibbity

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ****

  • 425
    • View Profile
Re: Just for clarification can I have thoughts of vanilla sex?
« Reply #2 on: June 03, 2014, 08:10:05 AM »
Staying away from porn and your porn fetish will help your fetish, especially if the fetish did not exist before porn.  Rewiring means a REAL LIFE sexual experience not an imagined one. 
In order to rise from its own ashes, a Phoenix first must burn.”
― Octavia E. Butler

Viper

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 500
  • Personal Text
    pray not for lighter load but for broader shoulder
    • View Profile
Re: Just for clarification can I have thoughts of vanilla sex?
« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2014, 09:37:32 PM »
It's been some time since I've had chocolate sex.
As for vanilla, most of my fantasy co-stars were that  8)


Ok, jokes aside, I think if you had a steady SO and you thought about having conventional sex
with her, then I think that's ok.

HelpUsHelpUS

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 39
    • View Profile
Re: Just for clarification can I have thoughts of vanilla sex?
« Reply #4 on: June 09, 2014, 09:20:12 AM »
I wonder if maybe part of the process of kicking porn addiction is letting go of distinguishing other types of sex from more conventional types of sex. Sex is sex. And it's good to appreciate all kinds, not just the kinkier stuff.

Sometimes, vanilla is the best choice because it's great all by itself. That's why it's been around for so long and has never gone out of style. It's a classic because it's simple and great. So is basic sex. From a woman's perspective, the ideal man is a guy who is great at and loves vanilla sex just as much as "Everything But The..."

I think guys tend to get bored easily and it's on to the next thing, even with sex. I think that's why women really appreciate a guy who takes pleasure in vanilla sex. It shows a lack of anxiety, an appreciation for the basic and the classic; a guy who doesn't need anything crazy because he already feels like what he's getting is "enough" and is "special."

That's why a lot of women feel so betrayed when we find out our boyfriends or husbands are relying on porn to get off behind our backs. We feel unappreciated, that our guys don't like what we like anymore, and that we're not enough.

I think the longer you work on your reboot and think about these things, the more you'll start to see the bigger picture and that urge for Everything But The will fade and you'll be jonesing more for vanilla than ever.  That's been my bf's experience so far and we're both so much happier already. I hope the same happens for you.