Author Topic: Sex with wife.  (Read 1410 times)

Moose

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Sex with wife.
« on: January 09, 2016, 10:07:28 AM »
Can I have sex with the wife during a reboot?

SCB

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Re: Sex with wife.
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2016, 03:31:08 PM »
I donĀ“t know, but I do know this: She should not be kept in the dark about what you are going through.. involve her in your research and your process. Let her have som "ownership" of the process and share every little success with her along the way.


TheNewMe

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Re: Sex with wife.
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2016, 10:07:02 PM »
Can I have sex with the wife during a reboot?

It really depends on your own situation. Some guys need a break from everything - porn, fantasies, masturbation and sex - to start the recovery while others can have sex with their partner and still have a successful recovery. In which category you fall into, I do not know.

Personally, I have sex with my wife and I see that as a good thing. Having sex with a physical human being is the 'default brain setting' we want to achieve. That's what recovery is about, to reboot our brains to it's normal state where we are turned on by the touch of a woman, not a visual stimulation like porn. So if you can have sex with your wife, it can in some cases help your recovery because you are rewiring your brain towards your wife (normal state) instead of towards porn.

But as I said, it varies from person to person so it's very hard to advice you on this.

dharma108

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Re: Sex with wife.
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2016, 11:18:01 PM »
I will reiterate what some of the other folks have said that this process is personal.  Personally I choose that sex with my partner is to be encouraged.  I often find that my use comes from an actual desire to connect (not always sexually at times).  When I connect intimately with my partner it feels right and healthy.   With that being said be careful of the "chaser effect" I have experienced this where post sexual intimacy the urge for PMO arises.  Some people recommend a period of time at first of complete abstinence.

Take Care