Age 42 - 128 days no PMO

Hello everyone!

I'm just gonna drop a quick introduction and success story.

My story is a fairly common one: started fapping as teenager, then magazines, videos and finally internet. My PMO habit were never that bad, usually one short daily session and no wierd stuff untill the last couple of years.

I've allways been lethargic, mildly depressed and generally lacking in ambitions. I don't know how much is cause of PMO and how much is effect - I'm going to explore that more in the journal section later on.

Six years ago I decided that I'd had it with my situation (lethargy, lack of success in career, love and life in general), so I went into business for myself and tried to "fix" myself with various Self-help and Self-development stuff, as well as professional therapists and workout with personal trainers, all unsuccessfully (of course  ).
In fact, a year later I broke down in social- and general anxiety culminating in proper panic attacks. At that time my PMO habit also escalated into wierder stuff. I now realize that was the casue of my breakning down, the two-three decade long PMO habit (though most of it was "light") and not a medical/psychological condition as anxiety disorder or burn-out.

I've actually rebooted twice, unknowingly, in the last five years (due to circumstances where I was without access to high speed internet and it was generally inapropriate to fap). Both times i hit withdrawal which I, not knowing it was withdrawal, figured to be proof of someting beeing wrong with me. Now that I know about PMO addiction and withdrawal I understand it was proof that my condition was caused by PMO.

So, anyway, 128 days clean - 128 days since my only relapse, 146 days since i committed to nofap. However I've been sloppy in my reboot and actually MO:ed (something called healthy M - "No more Mr Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert A Glover). Through the month of December (after day 90) I got overconfident in my reboot and MO:ed with fantasy and indulged in sexual fantasies (whithout M). The fantasies where mostly real life sex and people, whith just a little bit of P. I'm not sure weather that constitutes as a relapse or not, but to be on the safe side I'm now doing 90 day hardmode.

So that's basically it. I'm going to post my journal as well as the tips, tricks and resources that has helped me to essentially become free from P. Barring some tragic or otherwise extreme event in my life I don't see any risk of me relapsing ever again.

As for the result of my reboot: I've not experienced any forms of superpowers. My confidence is only slightly higher (climbing ever so slowely). The only benefit I've had is that my anxiety "disorders" seem to be gone. Instead I'm now suffering from rather strong sexual, social and business frustrations and I've yet to find a (productive and healthy - not nubing through M, Gaming, TV or such) way to manage them. For me the cure surely is worse than the disease. I had ways to manage my anxieties and I were numbing frustrations. So, honestly, so far rebooting has not been worth the effort and pain. But I understand that I still have a long way to go. I'm still quite lethargic and mildly depressed, but there's much more than just PMO contributing to that.

My reboot/rewiering has come to the point where when I've been spending way to much time online lately (more on that in my journal) on sites (not P-sites!  ) whith ads for dating sites and such (you know the type) I'm no longer triggered at all, in any way. A month or two ago they'd trigger both urges and anxieties. But I am not pushing my luck, I'm avoidning to look at the images but only 30 days ago the quickest glimpse would have triggered all sorts of bad stuff. Now I'm going to severly restrict my online activites again, that also contributes to my lethargy (more on that in my up-comming journal)

Also on the upside, real life women about town has become significantly more attractive lately! (maybe they all had a meeting and dicided to put on make-up and hit the gym  )

That's it.
Thanks for reading!
I hope I can contibute something to current and future fapstronauts as well as the community in general!
May you be successful in your reboot!
/Qwerty (I can not believe that username was still avalible!)

its smart decision to cut off MO completely during reboot. what you did with fantasy is edging and it is the worst part of porn addiction as it contributes to training your brain to get artificially aroused the most. losing social anxiety and climbing self confidence are great gains.

you are doing very well overall. couple of MO sessions, 1 relapse and few fantasies are better than 274 straight days of PMO.

Thanks for the feedback Numez.

I recently (well a couple of months ago) learned about PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-acute-withdrawal_syndrome. To me that has been the hardest part of breaking the PMO habit. As far as I've been able to figure out there seems to be som debate over weather or not PMO leads to PAWS, but for me; there's no doubt. My MO "relapses" occured during PAWS.

I'd like to advice new fapstronauts or those just out of withdrawal that this is probably when you're most likely to relapse, as I did. If you're, like me, lacking a safety net in the form of a girlfriend or a spouse or just a substantial social circle, or for that matter confidence in your ability to attract women (after successful reboot) to pick you up when you're about to fall. Your only security is your motivation and determination to succeed and I have plenty of that but still failed (mind you it was not a complete relapse, but it was dangerously colse). Willpower alone can only take you so far and it will eventually fail you.
I strongly recomend "The power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg http://www.amazon.com/The-Power-Habit-What-Business/dp/081298160X. In fact, I'd say that if you're only going to read one book in your life and you wan't to quit PMO this is the book. This book explains so much.

Anyway: my experiense of (what I believe to be) PAWS is that it sneaks up on you. Your mood drops slowly for a few days, so slowly you're not noticing it until you hit the bottom of the curve so you can't really take neccessary precausions against it. Furthermore you might have done your 90+ days and you think you should be in the clear which obviously ads to to your frustration and increases the risk of a relapse. You're probably going to be quite confident in your progress as well and relaxing and letting your guard down, making you an easy target for your cravings.

Again: it's (PAWS) such a slow process that you don't realize it's comming, unlike Withdrawal (which hits like a whole brick factory) until you find yourself fapping...

Just like the Matrix: Unfortenately no one can be told what withdrawal/PAWS is, you have to experience it yourself. But, knowing is half the battle.

Be strong, be motivated and be determined. It does matter, a great deal, if you fall. You must not fall, but if you do you must get back up again.


On a side note, I was writing my first post descending into PAWS, hence it was moore gloomy than my normal state. Reboot has been worth the effort and pain. My frustrations were products of PAWS.

I've noticed several distinct phases in my reboot and the last week I've had my longest streak of positive mood I've experienced since I started logging my mood. It seems as if I've entered a yet another phase in my reboot, where I'll start reaping the rewards of my effort and pain. I'll elaborate on that (including mood graph) in my next update.

/qwerty

Almost forgot: today is 143 days of no P and the 44'th day of my hard mode. Zero urges. (I'm not counting days on a regular basis - I stopped doing that on like day 10 - now I only count backwards for your reference when posting)

qwerty said:

I strongly recomend "The power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg http://www.amazon.com/The-Power-Habit-What-Business/dp/081298160X. In fact, I'd say that if you're only going to read one book in your life and you wan't to quit PMO this is the book. This book explains so much.

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Thank you very much Qwerty for sharing your experience.

I strongly second your advice, this book is a MUST read for everyone willing to help him self up out of PMO. It won't do the work at your place as it doesn't build your will power, that's up to you, but it will definitely help have a better understanding as of why and when, and how eventually avoid (if you dig enough into your habit circles).

As far as i'm concerned, it helped me identify some personal cues and triggers. Overall i have a better undestanding of my habit loop.

hey there,
well done on your work and your struggle.
1 thing I thought - rebooting is worth the struggle, because that's the only choice there is. it's being locked in your addiction, having panic attacks and falling further away from real life or rebooting. if it feels rubbish, remind yourself that this is the best path, know that you're doing the thing that feels better and is best for you!
thing 2 - as for feeling great and having 'super powers'. that's a tricky one, because an annoying drawback of sobriety is seeing yourself for who you are. you may not be this superhuman guy you get to be in your head when you're acting out. You're just you, someone who you probably don't think is good enough, who is a bit lethargic and hasn't achieved as much in life as he wanted. that's the rubbish thing that has made me relapse... 'Oh, is this me? and is this real life? hardly worth the effort!'
I think a trick is accepting yourself and knowing you have worth (all around us, society tells us we need status and achievements and goals, but you don't. you were born, and you're here, and you want to live your life right, that's it!), and accepting normal life with the grayness and pain that goes along with it (though it makes you want to act out and have a rush of chemicals from time to time). You have a right to be happy, it doesn't matter how successful you think you are.
none of that was as clear as it seemed in my head, but hope some of it makes sense to you. once again, well done on your work and your struggle!

Thanks for your feedback rainman.

I agree with you to a certain extent, but not completely. I hope you're interested in a discussion, because this subject intrests me a whole lot 

Yes, our society is messed up in some (many) ways. This whole business of keeping up with the Jones's (or the Kardashians for that matter) is completely f'd up.

However I think there's a huge difference between say plastic surgery for vanity's sake, or consumer debt to appear wealthy and trying to improve your self for your own sake. For instance; actually earning the money (by building your business or improving at work to get a raise) to buy an awesome car instead of taking on debt to get it. Of course it could be argued that desiring the car in the first place might be buying in to societal preasure of attainging superficial status.
But I think the difference is in the method (i.e borrowing or earning). Now the guy who bought the car with his own, hard eraned, money will probably enjoy the admiration of others as well as the guy who borrowed the money, but I think he also feels a genuine selfs-satisfaction that's greater than any external approval.

I believe that people are different (well duh ) - let me explain: My dad and brother are (seem to be) completely happy as they are and make no effort whatsoever in attaining any status or achievements. Whereas I would describe myself as a restless soul, I can't just sit back and enjoy life as it is. I feel a need to strive continously higher.

Think of an athlete, what makes them work so hard on their sports? Most of them don't make enough money to live on it and even fewer gets to reach great success (like participating in the olympics or other championships). Most of them get no recognition for their accomplishments.
I believe that they do it for the love of their sport and for the competition against them selfs (and their equals). To better them selfs

These, I think, are two major different subsets of people: the spectators and the athletes. The content and the restless.
I don't think that one is better or worse than the other.

I think superpowers are real and attainable, for everyone. But I also think that many fapstounauts don't care if the get them (like the guy you describe).
Superpowers are kind of loosely defined in our community as I see it. To me it means the drive, confidence and courage to push yourself to get what you want.
Just rebooting would not be sufficient to get these powers. Rebooting alone will "only" make you who you are without PMO (as you describe).
This seems to be the formula you need to follow to get them http://yourbrainonporn.com/superpowers-are-real-and-heres-how-get-them-sources-and-links

There are so many fapstrounauts who continue to relapse. For some, I think, it's due to a lack of a, let's call it, greater purpouse. Becoming more than who you are. They don't have enough motivation to go through the hell of reboot.
Others, as you wrote, might relapse out of disapointment:

rainman said:

You're just you, someone who you probably don't think is good enough, who is a bit lethargic and hasn't achieved as much in life as he wanted. that's the rubbish thing that has made me relapse...

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This is what's confusing me about myself. I have all this desire for achievements and accompishments but lacking the drive to get them. I thought PMO was holding me back, but after 156 days with no significant improvement I'm starting to doubt it.
However, because of or thanks to, my desire, I'll keep rebooting 'till I get there.

Inspired by likeanidiot http://www.reuniting.info/blogs/likeanidiot I started tracking my mood as a method of determining my reboot progress.

• Basically 5 is a completely neutral state, were I'm neither happy nor sad, neither energetic nor lethargic, neither confident nor anxious.
• I don't know what 10 would be, but maybe an under dog winning olympic gold medal at world record time. Basically unobtainable state of happiness
• Zero is probably death. I don't know if you can actually die from a panic attack or depression, but it sure feels like that (at least in a severe panic attack)
• And everything else ranges in between

Day zero was the day of my only full relapse. Day -14 was the day I committed to rebooting.



Hovever there are obviously several other things contributing to mood more than reboot. Such as the darkness of winter, lack of professional success, lack of romantic succes and so forth, but I think it paints quite an accurate picture of my journey.

I think that if you live a good life (a job you like, a spouse or gf you love and so on) you should probably have an average mood between 5 and 6.
If you average below 5, depression tells you that something is wrong or missing. Even if this is obviously is a factor to consider.

rainman said:

(all around us, society tells us we need status and achievements and goals

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Over the course of my reboot I'm averaging 4,6, which to me is a sign that I'm either lacking or still in need of more reboot/rewiring.

Of coures: whitout bad days, there would be no good days 

Definitely! Let?s get into it

I?m 100%  behind going for goals, trying to motivate yourself  and ?succeeding?.

I?m in the same boat. The last several years where i?ve acted out a lot have also been several years of stagnancy. I did half-arsed jobs and dead end jobs. I didn?t have a passion, and the stuff I cared about in the past I stopped caring about. I couldn?t get what I wanted for so long I stopped wanting anything (Not in a zen way. In a bad way ? I didn?t give a crap anymore)

Now I?m finding my passion and working hard at setting up my own business. I want to be creative and to show the world something that I did.

It?s interesting trying to get the balance. Because I don?t envy anyone going after sobriety through sheer teeth grinding. You need good habits to replace the dark habits. A lot of people on forums talk about hobbies. But I don?t think simple hobbies are enough. Well, in a way they are, but they have to capture your emotion to be really effective, you have to find something your passionate about. This is tough, because everything other than P sucks when you?re addicted to P. So I?m trying to create my vision and live my ?passion?, but I don?t feel is as much as I?d like, and I sure do have trouble motivating myself. It?d be much easier to lie on the sofa and plug back into the dark habits (...for the short term).

It?ll be easier to think of your passion and purpose if you weren?t feeling wobbly from abstinence, but now is the time to work it out, because it helps with recovery.

So you say - I can't just sit back and enjoy life as it is. I feel a need to strive ? that?s great, amazing things in this world happen because of attitudes like that, and I?m well behind it.

This other frame of thinking that I?ve recently got into looks at it in a different light. I talk on my thread (http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=7797.0) about listening to Tony Litster. He comes out with an affirmation I listen to every day, (and he has an approach to life in line with that he has on new podcasts in iTunes).  It goes something like ?you have inherent worth, you are always more than enough...?

Writing is my thing. I want to be the man and write something great. I?ve put pressure on myself about that for years. Ego is involved, and the idea of legacy is involved ? wanting to leave some mark before I die. So when am I going to be happy? When someone tells me I?m a good writer? I get a big book deal? When I win a prize? It?s a frame of thinking where, when I get that next thing, I?ll be satisfied. When I live in a sunny country, when I get married, when I get a better job, when all the pieces are in place. If that's the road, you'll always be looking for the next thing. I have to work on the me now, to accept the me now, to know I?m enough without achieving any of that. You have to know why you?re striving.

One of my favourite ever sportsmen is Tony Adams, England soccer captain in the 90s. Legend, used to strive and work so hard to win. and he won a lot. He was also an alcoholic, a complete mess when he wasn?t on the football field being the best. And the problem with a footballer is they retire before they?re 40. What do you do after the success is over? You cant be striving all the time.
There?s definitely meaning in the process, in the striving. That?s where you show your worth, that?s where you grow. That?s when those chemicals start flying.

This is what's confusing me about myself. I have all this desire for achievements and accompishments but lacking the drive to get them. I thought PMO was holding me back, but after 156 days with no significant improvement I'm starting to doubt it.
However, because of or thanks to, my desire, I'll keep rebooting 'till I get there.

As I said, I?m struggling with the motivation too. You have to know what you ultimately want. What is the payoff when you get some of these goals? Like me ? if I get out of bed and I make my business work, then i... get to go to work... oh great. As I said on my thread, accepting the bad days was a real breakthrough, it made the bad days less bad.

Ah, it seems there won't be much of a discussion after all. I kind of agree with most everyting you say

rainman said:

I?m in the same boat. The last several years where i?ve acted out a lot have also been several years of stagnancy. I did half-arsed jobs and dead end jobs. I didn?t have a passion, and the stuff I cared about in the past I stopped caring about. I couldn?t get what I wanted for so long I stopped wanting anything (Not in a zen way. In a bad way ? I didn?t give a crap anymore)

Now I?m finding my passion and working hard at setting up my own business. I want to be creative and to show the world something that I did.

Click to expand...

My story is pretty much the same. I've been thinking about posting my backstory, but it's just to damn depressing
I've had three or four employments in my life and all ended up the same way, massive depression. So i figured I'm not ment to ba an empolyee hence I got into business for my self. It's not going well, so far, but at least I don't have to suffer the bottomless depresions.

rainman said:

It?s interesting trying to get the balance. Because I don?t envy anyone going after sobriety through sheer teeth grinding. You need good habits to replace the dark habits. A lot of people on forums talk about hobbies. But I don?t think simple hobbies are enough. Well, in a way they are, but they have to capture your emotion to be really effective, you have to find something your passionate about. This is tough, because everything other than P sucks when you?re addicted to P. So I?m trying to create my vision and live my ?passion?, but I don?t feel is as much as I?d like, and I sure do have trouble motivating myself. It?d be much easier to lie on the sofa and plug back into the dark habits (...for the short term).

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Yeah, hobbies are great. But if you don't have the passion you won't do it (PMO or no PMO). Last year I bought a guitar, because it'd be cool to play, but I have no ambition to be good at it so I don't practise as much as I'd have to to progress.

Rebooting is seriously tough, without "a higher purpouse" you probably won't make it. I don't kow if there are any statistics on success rate here or in other forums, but accroding to this guy http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=2416.msg37528 the success rate is only 1%. It souds really low, and it's apparently anold number, but still.

It seems to me that the only way to guarantee success is to have a vision, a mission, a higher purpouse than just not PMO'ing.
The same guy made an other good post about this http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=15558.0
However I don't think he got the developing a vision part right. I think that I have foud the way, but that's a topic for another post.

Maybe this is overthinking stuff a bit, but with properly strong motivation you really can't fail.
A vision don't really have to be big and lofty like mine, it just has to be important to you. And more imortantly more important than POM'ing - even in the darkest depths of withdrawal.

All I know is that I've been through some tuff stuff post-, and during withdrawal (as we all have) and I wouldn't have made it this far without my vision for my life.

rainman said:

Writing is my thing. I want to be the man and write something great. I?ve put pressure on myself about that for years. Ego is involved, and the idea of legacy is involved ? wanting to leave some mark before I die. So when am I going to be happy? When someone tells me I?m a good writer? I get a big book deal? When I win a prize? It?s a frame of thinking where, when I get that next thing, I?ll be satisfied. When I live in a sunny country, when I get married, when I get a better job, when all the pieces are in place. If that's the road, you'll always be looking for the next thing. I have to work on the me now, to accept the me now, to know I?m enough without achieving any of that. You have to know why you?re striving.

Click to expand...

One of my sources of inspriation and wisdom is the late Jim Rohn. The nature of my business is such that it's very easy to get caught up in chasing money and recognition...

rainman said:

(all around us, society tells us we need status and achievements and goals, but you don't.

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...basically a lot of superficial societal status. Which I did and it damn near destroyed me.
That's not why I started and I've recently found my way back.

Paraphrasing Jim Rohn: Yes, you should always be looking for the next thing (more about that below) but the satisfaction comes from the daily progress towards your goal - not neccesarily reaching it. This sounds very good to me:
The daily progress towards your own, personal, goal.
The daily progress towards your own, personal, goal.

Not necessarily the attainment of said goal.
Not towards someone elses goals for you (parents, peer-preasure, society...)
Doing it for the love of the sport.
Wirting for the love of writing.

rainman said:

One of my favourite ever sportsmen is Tony Adams, England soccer captain in the 90s. Legend, used to strive and work so hard to win. and he won a lot. He was also an alcoholic, a complete mess when he wasn?t on the football field being the best. And the problem with a footballer is they retire before they?re 40. What do you do after the success is over? You cant be striving all the time.
There?s definitely meaning in the process, in the striving. That?s where you show your worth, that?s where you grow. That?s when those chemicals start flying.

Click to expand...

Now I think you do need to keep looking for the next thing.
You've reached your big goal, you've won everything a footballer can win. Now what?
Jim takes the example of the first astronauts. You've been to the moon(!), what are you going to do next? Apparently the astrounauts got into truble like Tony Adams, until NASA made sure to keep them busy once back.
Tony Robbins apparently coached Bill Clinton on the same issue. Not much is going to top beeing president of the US - career-wise any way.

Think of successful businessmen like Branson. He could be sitting on his island drinking margaritas all day, but that'd probably drive him carzy about day three.

I think you can strive all the time, if enjoying the fruits of your labour is included in the striving. Which I think it should be, why else are you pushing your self so hard to get it. But always have the next project ready in the pipeline. Again, Branson: Commersial space flight. Well someone's gotta do it I suppose, and I don't think he'll be short on projects for the forseeable future

This, I think, applies to us normal people as well. Say your ambition is to become a doctor, or a lawyer, or a carpenter (or whatever). No what? You're 27 and just graduated med-school (or whenever they normaly graduate). What now? Rot away in a local health centre for the rest of your life? I think most people fall in to this trap in life - some of us found PMO to substitute growth (or numb the dullness), others found alcohol...

I read somewhere something like: 'You should always do the most productive thing with concern to your goals. Sometimes the most productive thing to do is rest and recovery.'

But first you need some goals, a vision.

Back to Jim Rohn: His dad died at the age of 95-ish. He was still working, he had a pay-check waiting in the mail. He had a list of goals to accomplish (among other things getting his drivers-lisence renewed - which probably is a tall order for someone pushing 100 ) (According to Jim)
And he was a farmer, not some superhuman business tycoon like Branson. Not some doctor with a fancy M.D.P.H.D.(some latin here).F.D.R.Q degree.
Reprortedly a very happy man.

rainman said:

As I said, I?m struggling with the motivation too. You have to know what you ultimately want. What is the payoff when you get some of these goals? Like me ? if I get out of bed and I make my business work, then i... get to go to work... oh great. As I said on my thread, accepting the bad days was a real breakthrough, it made the bad days less bad.

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In the end I think it comes down to the magical, mythical, "superpowers". I don't think they are superpowers at all. I think they're drive, power, confidence and courage to push towards your goals that successful people naturally (no one is a natural, they've probably been conditioned from childhood) posess. I think these is avalible to us all, but "normal" people (not conditioned from childhood) have to work hard to get them.
http://yourbrainonporn.com/superpowers-are-real-and-heres-how-get-them-sources-and-links

But this is a catch 22 - you need superpowers to hit the gym 4 days a week, no exeptions, in order to develop said powers.
PMO and other addictions ought to be the number one killer of these natural-powers (photo-fhinish with childhood conditioning)

Anyone who's read David De Las Morenas can probaly relate to what I'm trying to say here.
Just an average bloke who found his motiation.

I don?t think I?m that much of a hard worker. Give me Richard Branson?s money and I?d be having a few more gin gimlets on the beach 

It's taken me a while but I think I can finally articulate what I?ve been trying to say on my last 2 replies.
...

Accept yourself as who you are. Give yourself recognition for being born!

You don?t need to achieve a thing!

Say it twice a day til you believe it! Until you emotional feel you have awesome self worth.

The future you isn?t a superhero, and he isn?t a stranger, it?s you as you are now (hopefully with this addiction in his past enabling him to live a happy life)

After you?ve done all that...

now it?s time to build yourself up and go and do something and achieve something. Now you?re in a position to create a vision and follow it, and now you?re in the game and you?re being alive, and then comes the passion.

Growth can only come after you accept you?re awesome and you?re worth it

Problem with P addiction is addicts are shameful and think they?re a piece of crap every time they relapse, which is why the process of being kind to yourself, loving yourself, and forgiving yourself for your relapses is the best method on the road to recovery. 

The point about Tony Adams wasn?t that he had achieved so much by 40, so now what? It was that he was an alcoholic while he was being a big achiever. A super hero on the football pitch, a mess in real life. the fact that he was striving and striving in his career was actually a distraction. He needed to do some affirmations! (or some serious work on his alcoholism).

Achievement and work in itself doesn?t equal happiness, as Tony Adams' career showed. I have a friend who?s had a hard couple of years. A big part of that is that he hasn?t had a job in ages. Very recently he?s met the woman of his dreams and things are going well. He?s honest, and he says he is self conscious that he doesn?t have a job, but he has a lot of self worth, and the woman in his life can see that, and she can understand that unemployment isn?t part of his make up. a lot of people wouldn?t be so understanding as his girlfriend, but as she is, it?s great that he has the confidance to stand up and say, ?I?m worth dating.? A lot of us may not think we?re not.

But as for being on the road of purpose and work, it?s all good. Everything that is good in my life has come in the last two years while I?ve been on this road!

I would very much like to continue our little discussion here, rainman. But unfortunately I'm going to have to log off and un-plug for some time.
It seems as if I'm exposing myself to way to much PMO and screen time here on this forum for my reboot, as I try to expalin here: http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=7986.0

We'll have to pick this up at a later time 

qwerty, can relate to parts of your story. I'm just 5 days short of my initial 90 day goal. I don't know if I can say that I've become a new, better person during this journey. I'm a bit skeptical of the results, so I can relate to what you wrote in the beginning.
Hope you'll be back in a few months time to give an elaborated update of your process/progress. And it's nice to see the exchange of opinions/experiences with rainman, I've missed these kinds of posts on this forum. To many comments like "good job", hang in there", "stay focused" etc...

Regards,
Garby.

Numez said:

its smart decision to cut off MO completely during reboot. what you did with fantasy is edging and it is the worst part of porn addiction as it contributes to training your brain to get artificially aroused the most. losing social anxiety and climbing self confidence are great gains.

you are doing very well overall. couple of MO sessions, 1 relapse and few fantasies are better than 274 straight days of PMO.

Click to expand...

Hi,
    how to set the meter which comes below the post.

Click one.