Author Topic: New Here: Slipped Up Yesterday/Earlier Today.  (Read 1230 times)

SlickBack

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New Here: Slipped Up Yesterday/Earlier Today.
« on: December 25, 2015, 12:59:31 PM »
 >:( :'(

Ive been on No PMO for at least the last 14 days, and been trying to avoid PMO at all costs. Im 22.

Any ways christmas eve last night and i was talking with my gf, and she sent me like one of our sextapes as a lil treat, and it was a wrap after that.

I saw it after 14 days of No pmo and thought i could handle it and slipped up. That same night, and earlier this morning after 12. I started watching all our tapes, and then even followed my porn viewing routines and all of that got me really aroused, so i stopped.

Then i stood up, and was still aroused, this is my first time learning about dopamine, but it was crazy. My dopamine felt crazy, i was really hard and proceeded to jerk it just a few times, i got even more aroused, started measuring myself, n then some precum came out so i stopped completely, cleaned myself, and went to bed.

I messed up bad earlier today. I didnt orgasm. But i watched porn, and took a couple strokes, after 14 days of no pmo.

I feel terrible now, because im doing this to kinda reboot and get better erections, and now i definitely messed up my progress, i worked so hard for.

I have about 25 more days until, i get to see my girlfriend and have sex, and all i want is to be a little reebotted and to be able to sustain harder, longer lasting erections.

Did i mess up too much or do i still have a chance to get healthy in 25 days, assuming i didnt really orgasm, and just took a couple of strokes, not even 60 seconds worth.

Sorry guys, going through it and feel like shit because i messed up my progress, i just hope i didnt set myself back too much. Have anybody been through some relapse?

cmcgos92

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Re: New Here: Slipped Up Yesterday/Earlier Today.
« Reply #1 on: December 25, 2015, 08:36:43 PM »
First of all congratulatuons on taking a positive step and sharing your story and making it to 14 days prior to this, knowing you can make it through the very early stage is definitely something you should be proud of because it's where most people struggle.

Just having a read through this though and the first thing I would suggest is that you really need to go to ybop and read up some more (especially through the faq section) because you seem to have a few misconceptions in your explanation. From everything that has been recorded by people experiencing porn related sexual dysfunction, there is no such thing as a "kinda reboot" or being "a little rebooted,  you either are, aren't 'rebooted'.

Also its important to remember that your brain doesnt make the distinction between a sex tape you are in and a porn movie. Obviously porn movies can result in greater dopamine release as the content is far more stimulating (and there is no better example of this than you escalating from the sex tape your girlfriend sent you to then watching porn), but you are still staring at a screen in a voyeuristic role. So even though you can objectively say that you are in that sex tape, the 'mammalian' part of your brain doesnt make that distinction, so you are still training yourself to be aroused by sex on a computer screen and not real sex (and in the process tempting fate because it's so easy to be washed away by a torrent of water once you raise the floodgates even a little bit).

As to your question about messing up too much, everything with this is on an individual level. Did you undo all the good you did by cutting porn out for two weeks in just one session? Probably not. But as someone who's struggled with this for a while I can advise that the best thing I did after getting fed up with failure was to read up on everything to do with pied. It takes a while to get a good understanding of what you are up against and how the brain works but it really is vital do I would suggest you take the time to do that. It will take a few weeks but it really is the first step. While doing that I also advise you to think about the things that trigger you to relapse (time of day, activities etc.) and to come up with strategies to avoid urges during these times and changes these activities or eliminate them all together. Also focus on doing the small everyday chores and tasks really well, it is so easy to avoid these things but if you put in the time to do them you will se improvements in all aspects of life as they really do set you up for success...my experience anyway.

Essentially there is no magic fix to this and there is no way to tell how long it will take someone to 'fully heal', especially those of us who have grown up with high speed Internet as it takes us much longer to heal. It's not all doom and gloom though, as someone who went through their fair share of relapses before my current attempt it is amazing to discover how much time I now have on my hands, not just because I've cut out porn and masturbation but also because I spend much less time procrastinating. I still have a long way to go and the hardest part is still ahead but the previous point is something I am going to hold on to as inspiration and motivation no matter how hard the journey becomes. Trust me, the greatest gift is more time.

Hope at least some of this is helpful to you. Make sure you get back on the bike and don't give in. You can make it mate.



Numezz

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Re: New Here: Slipped Up Yesterday/Earlier Today.
« Reply #2 on: December 26, 2015, 08:36:12 AM »
edging is counted as relapse but you are not fully messed up your progress. it still may take longer time to get back your erection. depends on the individual experience. some people like gabe needed 9 months before they was able to have penetrable erection.

http://yourbrainonporn.com/how-long-will-it-take

that is very bad idea of her to send you sex tape. even sexting needs to be avoided. she is probably clueless about your condition. tell her what is going on. share it with her, you can find great support in her or you can find out that she is a bird and you dont need her. win win situation.

i also absolutely 100% agree with @cmcgos92 that porn addiction research on consistent (daily) basis is the common denominator among successful rebooters.
« Last Edit: December 26, 2015, 08:37:52 AM by Numez »

mtaha2015

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Re: New Here: Slipped Up Yesterday/Earlier Today.
« Reply #3 on: December 27, 2015, 11:13:49 AM »
you can always get healthy.
stay away from PMO.
and eat a alot.