Author Topic: My nofap journey (journal)  (Read 32996 times)

Blu88

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #125 on: March 23, 2016, 04:16:26 AM »
Day 65

I had a good day. Good mood, productive and socialised too!
Didn't have urges, nor headaches for the whole day.
Didn't workout, nor had cold shower!
I was busy and out of home all the time. It's two days in a row I'm fine, after a week (last week) which wasn't fine at all!

young shinobi

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #126 on: March 23, 2016, 08:27:46 AM »
you'r doing very well :D , congrats Man, i hope i can keep the good run too until my 60 days , and live each's day as victory for not giving up , and fight my  way to recovery. ;)

Blu88

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #127 on: March 24, 2016, 04:05:57 AM »
Day 66

I felt positive and optimistic toward the future. It was not the most productive day, because I didn't work out, nor I had cold shower.
I had strong urges in the morning, but came thriugh them and didn't relapse.
I had headache only in few moments, not strong either. For the rest of the day I didn't have any further urge.
What I am noticing is the coming back of my feelings and emotion. When ai was listening to cartoon opening played when I was a kid, I was touched, exactly the same way when I was not addicted.

Two thirds of the 90 days journey have gone. 24 days are missing

Blu88

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #128 on: March 25, 2016, 12:35:35 AM »
Day 67

Another quite fine day. I was out for almost all the time making stuff for my departure in two days.
Didn't work out, nor I had cold shower.
Mild headache in the morning while I was fine for the rest of the day.
No urges either.
I met several people and hung out with them.

Blu88

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #129 on: March 26, 2016, 03:15:56 PM »
Day 68

I am texting at day 69's evening due to an enourmous amount of things I had to do. Good I was so much busy though!
Well, the day was very biased by strong headache, which increased in the afternoon and in the evening. I woke up at 5:40 am and I didn't have any nap in the afternoon. That's the reason of the headache. I woke up so early because I wanted to go to sleep early and this morning wake up early aswell to face in the best way a long car travel I will have done the following day.
Despite the strong headache, the day went well! I hung out with all those people I had to say goodbye and I was happy about everything happening.
I have had cold shower, but didn't work out.
I didn't have any time for even thinking about having urges!

What I've noticed is that I'm a little bit too harsh with people. I tend to get easly upset, probably because I'm holding semen for so much time. This is hard and must have some side effects.

Blu88

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #130 on: March 26, 2016, 03:29:37 PM »
Day 69

It was a whole day spent travelling by car! I've just arrived at my relatives home, abroad, far away from home! I'm actually excited about the new experience awaiting me! What I know is that all these days of nofap made me a more confident and less anxious person, thus I'm positive everything will be fine! So my mood is pretty positive.
Last night I had a sexy (not wet!) dream. I dreamt a russian middle aged woman kissing me and it woke me up with a boner. Also, I had some porno thoughts while travelling by car; I think that's no wonder, since I stayed so much time driving alone! Neverthess, nothing so serious to threat a relapse!
It's just right now that I'm writing, urges are hitting me. They aren't light sized, neither that strong. As soon as I finish posting here, I'm going to open my notebook and watch some video in english, turning off my triggering smartphone !
I didn't work out, neither I had cold shower.
I had mild headache hitting and fading time by time, but still no wonder since I had a stressful day!

Just now I've noticed I've overcome 3/4 of the 90 days journey! That's amazing and motivating!
Furthermore, I'm exactly three weeks far from day 90! In three saturdays I will have achieved the goal I've always missed so far! Well, beyond the excitment, I must calm down because every moment is good for urges overwhelming me and make me relapse. I had an experience last year, when I relapsed at day 73! It was awful and I'm not safe from what happened that time.

Blu88

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #131 on: March 27, 2016, 04:53:58 PM »
Day 70

There's no much to report, since I got ill and I have flu! I stayed the whole day at home either struggling with my stomachache and watching videos in english.
Of course I haven't worked out, neither I did have cold shower.
I couldn't have urges either due to this badbeign!
Headaches were coming and fading, yet they were part of the illness.

The tenth week has just gone! Three more weeks and I will have achieved the original goal!

young shinobi

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #132 on: March 28, 2016, 01:00:46 PM »
good luck man , your almost there ,
i realy want to do wethever it takes to get there too , because the first breath i will take after my recovery will be the first one alive . you seam to talk all ot about cold showers does that help to hold back the urges , or is  it like a good habit you used to do

Blu88

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #133 on: March 28, 2016, 01:54:24 PM »
good luck man , your almost there ,
i realy want to do wethever it takes to get there too , because the first breath i will take after my recovery will be the first one alive . you seam to talk all ot about cold showers does that help to hold back the urges , or is  it like a good habit you used to do

Hey man,
I report every day whether I have done a cold shower or I haven't. It helps me to keep me motivated in doing them.
The topic about cold is long and probably complicated, but here I found for you something I wrote about it when I was reasearching how useful cold showers are!

1) Why should you take cold showers?

This is the most important point I would like to stress on. You should take cold showers because they literally kill urges! If you have a feeling of PMOing, a cold shower will let you pass it!
Related with urge killing, cold showers also improve your mood, ease your stress/depression and make you feel better! Sometimes I leave my shower laughting, while an hour earlier I was depressed and almost in crying-mood.

2) Which are cold showers's benefits?

There are plenty of them. A fast sum up shall look like this:
a) mood improving,
b) better blood circulation,
c) fat erasing,
d) more immunities,
e) will power improvment.
Besides, there is one very important benefit: cold showers help you to leave your comfort zone and face the discomfort! In every day life we have challenges: taking cold showers make us in the mindset to face those challanges.
I highly recomand you to read this article for further informations: http://www.oxdevelopment.com/2015/11/08/cold-showers-11-reasons/
Also, check these videos:
http://youtu.be/PYkVxDCKE1M
http://youtu.be/Gb0h8ZKvJW4

3) How can you win the fear of taking cold showers?

This guy on RN inspired me: http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=7573.msg76900#msg76900
What I can tell you in addition is that I made the process gradually. The first time I entered into the shower with warm water and only later I set the rag on colder and colder water! The first time it's terrible, but then you get uccostomed to it and you don't feel bad. The first time it's 10 seconds of suffering but they reduce each time you take a cold shower. When you leave the shower you feel invincible! Trust me that it's not that terrible and the outcomes are amazing.

That's it. Hope my advice will inspire you in using one of the most powerful tool for a succesfull reboot!

Blu88

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #134 on: March 28, 2016, 02:01:13 PM »
Day 71

Neither today there is that much to report. I feel a lot better than yesterday and my sickness is almost gone!
My mood was avarage.
I had some triggers, but nothing serious enought to lead me toward a relapse.
I had mild headaches coming and fading. Didn't work out.
The only remarkable thing went down today was that I made hot shower. I had a commitment I will have beign doing only cold showers for the whole march! I feel like I broke The commitment, yet I have done it because I was sick and had flu. I figured out cold shower in that shape might be risky and counter productive, thus I couldn't help having hot shower. And I really had to have shower since I had to go out.

Blu88

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #135 on: March 29, 2016, 03:47:42 PM »
Day 72

I'm not sick anymore, though I still have some stomachache time by time.
Some headache hitting and fading during the day.
Didn't work out.
Had cold shower early in the morning.
I didn't have any urge at all.
Today I faced challanges which took me out of my comfort zone and I was anxious before it and stressed right after. Nevertheless, I think everything went fine and I'm happy of today!

Tomorrow I'm going to equal my record on hard mode nofap. Good that I am, yet the show must go on until 90 and further

siphus

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #136 on: March 30, 2016, 01:59:18 AM »
I'm glad you're feeling better! A stomach-ache is one of the worst illnesses to have, IMO :-[ Glad to see you well on your way, keep up the good work!
-siphus

Blu88

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #137 on: March 30, 2016, 09:50:10 PM »
Day 73

By completing day 73 I broke my previous record of nofap hard mode streak! I'm really happy of that and I've always considered extremly important this check-point!
The day itself was really good. It was just me to have mood swings without a rational reason. In fact, I had a beautuful mood during and immediantly after the work time. When I had come back home I've begun to have pessimist and negative thoughts about everything, all created just by my mind. I don't know whether it is a pmo withdrawal or a side effect of no O for so much time!
I had hot shower again. Again it was because I felt a little bit of stomachache.
Didn't work out.
In the whole day I didn't have headache, I believe because I had had a really good time at job.
Didn't have any urges.

Blu88

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #138 on: April 01, 2016, 12:40:21 AM »
Day 74

I felt bad again! I had a stomachache relapse! In the night I woke up and sh__ted three times liquidly! Thus I stayed the whole day at home without eating. I spent the whole day resting and watching english videos.
I watched some very triggering videos, they gave a boner and short relapsing thoughts, but I overcame everything. I'm strong than that and now I can easly win triggers.
I was a little bit upset toward the situation: in all the days I could get sick, I had got it when I have begun this work experience. I believe that also yesterday's bad mood was due to the incoming sickness. What a pity.
Didn't have headache, didn't have any shower. Didn't work out!

So I definitely broke my 73 days in hard mode record! That's great, but I must keep going and don't let my guard down

young shinobi

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #139 on: April 01, 2016, 06:30:31 AM »
good job man , your defenetly on your way toward freedom , so keep going
i'm way behind , but am very optimistic about it

Blu88

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #140 on: April 02, 2016, 02:53:44 AM »
Day 75

A quite ok day. I had been at work for the whole time and did what I had to do. After that I watched some english video to get asleep.
I feel better than yesterday, the stomachache seems to be gone.
I'm a little bit anxious about the future, yet I know I shouln't have been.
Had hot shower, still because I didn't feel good.
Didn't work out.
Had headache only in the morning: took a medicine and I was fine for the rest of the day.
I had just some urge in two moments: when I saw hot women in the way from house to work (morning and early afternoon) and when I had been watching those triggering videos in english (late afternoon and evening). I can afford it. I'm healed enought to not relapse on such triggers. At the contrary: I find it as a good sign of flatline going away.

So I have overcome one 31 days full month in hard mode: from 1st to 31st march without O. It's another good motivation to hold on and the 90 days now don't seem so far!

Blu88

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #141 on: April 03, 2016, 02:25:56 AM »
Day 76

I had a very good and productive day.
In the morning I went to walk a lot! In the afternoon I made one commission that made the anxious the previous day and hung out with two friends. In the evening I watched videos in english.
I didn't have headaches at all!
I had some urges when I saw triggering scene on those videos in english, yet I've easly overcome them. I'm growing up in this too, in mastering triggers. I'm exposed to several, but pmo is not an option anymore, not at all! Now I see it as disgusting and unhealthy, which is the attitude I should have had since the beggining, but it wasn't easy at the beggining. Now my brain has been rewiring for 76 days and I can feel the outcome!
I had warm shower, justyfing myself I was still not healed at 100% (indeed I had some stomachache).

Blu88

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #142 on: April 03, 2016, 04:36:23 PM »
Day 77

A good day. Had good mood and I feel positive about the future. No anxiety at all for anything!
I spent the day out with friends and watching videos in english.
No urges, just some sex thought during the day. Nothing serious.
No work out.
No shower at all.
No headache at all!
I'm getting better in everything and everything is setting up in the best way! I guess this is what a reboot carries on!

Even the 11th week is gone! Only two weeks and I hit the 90 days!

Al Taha Al Marylandi

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #143 on: April 03, 2016, 06:07:10 PM »
Good.
Keep it up.
Doing great.

Blu88

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #144 on: April 05, 2016, 12:14:47 AM »
Day 78

A good day. I went to work the whole day, then I had a walk and finally I watched some video in english. Had good mood the whole day, exept in the evening when my pc messed up, it got me nervous.
I made hot shower.
Didn't work out but I walked a bit.
Didn't have any urge the whole day exept at a certain point I had some sex thought about one collegue. I think it's not a bad sign: it was about a real women (no p) and it means I'm currently not on flatline.
No headache at all and this is the most positive thing about this phase! It's quite days that I feel better with headaches. Don't know whether it is due to rebooting or the new kind of life I'm living for 10 days! What is important is to keep on rebooting!

78 days are gone. 12 are missing to reach the big goal! I begin to feel it close and this makes me so happy. I feel that pmo is nothing good for me. Even those thoughts advicing and inviting me to pmo almost never hit (in the past they were the biggest problem!).

Blu88

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #145 on: April 05, 2016, 03:50:49 PM »
Day 79

A good day until 20:30, then something happening. I glanced three acquaiscences approaching the groundfield where I was swinging. I didn't want to chat with them and I prefered them not to see me swinging: I was so concerned about their opinion and embarassed to say hello, that I took the phone off my pocket and began to chat. I made the longer way to get back home in order to avoid them. I feel ashamed for the mindset I had. I must work on this and the first step will be have a cold shower.
At this purpose, also today I had hot shower. I should start again with cold ones, unless I want the benefits I achieved to fade.
I haven't workout.
I didn't have any headache!
I had some sex thoughts rather than urges by seeing all those beautiful women I cross by when O go to work.
When I got back home I watched english videos.

Tomorrow is day 80. Day 80! This means that in 11 days I will have reached my 90 hard mode days goal! It's still unbelieveble I'm at day 80! I'm so close on doing it... Feel so exited

Blu88

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #146 on: April 06, 2016, 11:18:45 PM »
Day 80

Another quite fine day.
The only different thing was that I had headache in the morning, yet after have taken the medicine I was ok for the rest of the day.
I had good mood and felt fine, even though in the early morning I had some issues with Wi-Fi and it made me nervous; no thing serious and that is part of the life!
I had hot shower again. It's mainly because I'm still not 100% with the stomachache I had the previous day. Unluckily cold showers and training shall have to wait until I will be thouroughly healed.
Had no urges. Still sex thoughts about beautuful women I see everyday; I believe it is a good sign because I don't think anymore about pmo, but I arouse on real women.
I had headache in the morning I believe because I woke up for half an hour in the night. Yet it passed after I took medicine.

So day 80 has gone too!!! Now the countdown begins from 10. Only 10 days to reach 90 days in hardmode!!! I'm so proud I got so far. I can feel the benefits I will report in details at day 91! I'm glad about what I've done so far and about how life is going to turn on for me!

Blu88

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #147 on: April 08, 2016, 08:59:33 AM »
Day 81

I'm delaying this report to day 82 because it was a very very intense day!
I have been at work from 8 to 17, then I've almost immediantly gone to play football with friends and finally I was so tired I've barely reached my bed and at 22:30 I was asleep.
A positive day. I had good mood and good attitude toward everything. The football match was amazing and had really good time.
The only negative thing was strong headache the whole day and I didn't want to take the medicine because I had taken it the previous day.
I didn't have any urge, nor sex thoughts! It's actually good that I don't have pmo cravings for weeks! The only way I could relapse it will be deliberately choose to fap and there's no way I will want to ruin my life again!
I had hot shower twice: in the morning and in the evening after football.
I worked out by playing! Now I should begin to regularly do it.

Al Taha Al Marylandi

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #148 on: April 08, 2016, 10:40:43 AM »
Great progress man.
keep it up.
now close to day 90 and day 100.

Blu88

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Re: My nofap journey (journal)
« Reply #149 on: April 08, 2016, 02:31:59 PM »
Day 82

A good time. I'm upset just now because my notebook stopped to work, but somehow it will be fine again.
I had good mood the whole day and I'm positive about the future.
I woke up with strong headache, yet it faded when I took medicine and I have been fine the whole day.
I had some urges in the afternoon and a porno video came quickly up to mind, but I've easly dismissed the urge. Pmo is not an option, not now not ever and ever!
I didn't work out nor have I had shower at all.