Author Topic: Journal: My Reminder  (Read 1049 times)

EdgeOfTheEarth22

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Journal: My Reminder
« on: December 06, 2015, 03:55:01 AM »
Day 1. December 6, 2015
Here you are, every day, waking up tired and unmotivated. A tiredness so overwhelming that getting out of bed, or even leaving your home feels like a battle. You begin to play video games with your mind on autopilot, smashing buttons but not quite paying attention. After losing match after match, you begin to think that maybe you should get off to avoid further frustration. So now you are in zombie mode and trying to come up with another activity that allows you to forget all your troubles, and you very damn well know those troubles include fast approaching project/exam deadlines. With that in mind, you begin to try and decide whether to switch the game to a less frustrating one. "Ehh what the heck, I'll just try to get some work done.", and that right there, is the biggest lie you tell yourself. You pull up your assignment on the computer, see the complication of the assignment, and damn well know that this particular assignment will take multiple hours. The idea of having to spend all this time doing something you don't enjoy overwhelms you, so what do you do? You think, maybe a nice quick fap will get my mind straight and help me focus. 3 hours later, out of breath with a stinging throbbing penis, you feel disgusted. All that time spent, lost in pornography, ejaculating multiple times, thinking to yourself "was it really worth it?" You type ctrl h to clear your history, and as you look through the history you see the escalation of the fap session from the innocent softcore porn searches in the beginning and ending with terribly disgusting porn. With an instant feeling of regret, you know that once again you have set yourself further back, and you promise yourself you won't do it again. This happens day, after day. Your addict mind controls you. It begs you to acquire its daily dose of porn, and in this time your mind gives not one fuck about anything. The thought of porn already gives you a raging erection, and that is the point of no return. Yes you have a lot going on in your life right now. From debt, to piling school work, and ontop of that, you are dealing with a terrible injury that has kept you out of the gym for 5 weeks. You have two addictions, one being the gym, and the other being porn. One is positive, and the other is negative, but to maintain balance in your life, you need at least one of these two things. Read this please, read this when the time gets rough to remind you that porn is not a solution. Do your work, and the sense of accomplishment of the completion of a project will be as great as the sense of accomplishment when beating personal lifting records in the gym. Right now you are a wounded soldier. A soldier who was left alone behind enemy lines. You have a map to guide you to the safezone, but the journey there will be rough which is why you must remain rock solid from the inside out. Continue on this quest to the safezone, and don't let anything stop you. You will be revived.
Oh and one more thing. Just please, please remember how you feel right now. Remember how even your social interactions are being impacted, even with those closest to you. During your own mothers birthday, you isolated yourself in a room while everyone else bonded and spent time with eachother. Remember all these women that want you. The girl that totally wanted you in class, and all the girls from work that are very much interested in you. Your problems may be forgotten during this time of porn, but remember, so are your goals. Times are rough, life is hard, quit having such a negative outlook on everything, there is so much for you to look forward to. You are nearly done for the semester, you have stared your journey on becoming a personal trainer, and so much more. Remember your goals. Remember your goals. Remember your goals.

Pinky

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Re: Journal: My Reminder
« Reply #1 on: December 06, 2015, 01:43:32 PM »
Well-written, man, the story of my life :)  Best of luck, and remember your goals!
Every choice counts!

Journal


cmcgos92

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Re: Journal: My Reminder
« Reply #2 on: December 06, 2015, 10:20:56 PM »
I can definitely relate to your story man. Especially attitudes towards studying and doing assignments,  it's ridiculously hard to sit down and do them and then even hard to tell yourself it's all too difficult or you can come back to it later after some...temporary relief.

Stay strong.