Author Topic: Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety  (Read 7818 times)

need_help

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Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety
« on: May 30, 2014, 12:06:23 AM »
Hi

I've quit porn and masturbation for for about 170 days now, a habit I've had for just under 2 decades. I've never had a problem with erections while involve in porn and masturbation, and even in the initial months after I quit, its only now around after the 160 day mark.

I have noticed myself getting weaker, no morning erections, erections take long to get full when I'm aroused and then too, physical stimulation is needed.

Am I flat lining? or could this be PIED or just performance anxiety?






dc6

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Re: Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety
« Reply #1 on: May 30, 2014, 06:57:42 AM »
This is the exact opposite of what should happen. Have you ruled out medical issues? Can you masturbate to orgasm without porn or fantasy?

If you had no erection problems when you were viewing porn regularly, what led you to stop PMO in the first place?

need_help

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Re: Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety
« Reply #2 on: May 30, 2014, 07:35:51 AM »
This is the exact opposite of what should happen. Have you ruled out medical issues? Can you masturbate to orgasm without porn or fantasy?

I have not ruled out medical issues and I'm on some meds now.  Personally I think its performance anxiety and stress.

If you had no erection problems when you were viewing porn regularly, what led you to stop PMO in the first place?

My wife found out about my habit. I stopped there and then, no cravings, no relapse, no urges. I've had 4 erection failures since I've quit. I haven't tried going for long periods without O, but I'm going to give that a try.

Why I dont think its PIED is because I enjoyed a healthy (normal) sex life even while PM

dc6

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Re: Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety
« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2014, 05:56:11 AM »
If your erections are the same or similar without porn or porn fantasy (whether with your wife or solo) as they are when you view porn, then PIED should not be your problem and I'd tend to agree with your self assessment.

Bibbity

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Re: Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety
« Reply #4 on: May 31, 2014, 10:15:56 AM »
Were you fantasizing about porn during sex with your wife?  This might account for erections during sex.  Are you aroused during sex but aren't able to get an erection or do you feel 'blah' during sex?
In order to rise from its own ashes, a Phoenix first must burn.”
― Octavia E. Butler

need_help

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Re: Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety
« Reply #5 on: June 01, 2014, 11:57:22 PM »
If your erections are the same or similar without porn or porn fantasy (whether with your wife or solo) as they are when you view porn, then PIED should not be your problem and I'd tend to agree with your self assessment.

The were the same.

Were you fantasizing about porn during sex with your wife?  This might account for erections during sex.  Are you aroused during sex but aren't able to get an erection or do you feel 'blah' during sex?

When with my wife, I've not fantasized about porn or anyone else. I don't feel 'blah' during sex.

I've gotten some weak erections over the last few days, but very unpredictable.

I've also had PE for a while now, so I've become obsessed with performance, and also the fear of not getting an erection and maintaining it (and the fear of this being permanent) is freaking me out.

bzarfas

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Re: Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety
« Reply #6 on: June 02, 2014, 03:52:34 AM »
Hi

I've quit porn and masturbation for for about 170 days now, a habit I've had for just under 2 decades. I've never had a problem with erections while involve in porn and masturbation, and even in the initial months after I quit, its only now around after the 160 day mark.

I have noticed myself getting weaker, no morning erections, erections take long to get full when I'm aroused and then too, physical stimulation is needed.

Am I flat lining? or could this be PIED or just performance anxiety?

what's your health like??
bodyfat percentage and/or BMI?
total Testosterone level?
T/E ratio?
Estradiol?
HS-CRP?

I asked because You are 30+? and I bolded an issue that is not mental,(does not matter about porn abuse) but matters about heart health.  ED is a canary warning to heart health.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21624550
http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2013/01/30/3678527.htm
Erectile problems can provide early warning of heart disease in apparently healthy men, a new study has found

vetrn

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Re: Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety
« Reply #7 on: June 02, 2014, 06:57:27 PM »
I would tend to agree with bzarfas on this, you should seek professional medical attention as there are a number of things physically that could be causing the issues you are experiencing.  I will say that it could be something very simple like high blood pressure, or something ominous like an impending coronary event.  Either way, your doctor should be  made aware and a thorough exam done. Be sure to have them check your A1C to rule out diabetes as well.

need_help

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Re: Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety
« Reply #8 on: June 02, 2014, 11:38:54 PM »
My BMI is 9.4.

as for total Testosterone level, T/E ratio, Estradiol, HS-CRP, and  A1C i'd I have to get tested and get the results.

bzarfas

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Re: Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety
« Reply #9 on: June 03, 2014, 01:57:15 AM »
My BMI is 9.4.

as for total Testosterone level, T/E ratio, Estradiol, HS-CRP, and  A1C i'd I have to get tested and get the results.
9 .4 is low are you sure about that?
that's be like me, 5'11" ,weighing 67.5lbs
so no, i don't buy it
do it again
http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/guidelines/obesity/BMI/bmicalc.htm



need_help

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Re: Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety
« Reply #10 on: June 03, 2014, 05:02:53 AM »
9 .4 is low are you sure about that?
that's be like me, 5'11" ,weighing 67.5lbs
so no, i don't buy it
do it again
http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/guidelines/obesity/BMI/bmicalc.htm

correct BMI 20.8 (5'4"", weighing 12lbs)

SO Reboot Partner

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Re: Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety
« Reply #11 on: June 03, 2014, 06:42:46 AM »
This is the exact opposite of what should happen. Have you ruled out medical issues? Can you masturbate to orgasm without porn or fantasy?

I have not ruled out medical issues and I'm on some meds now.  Personally I think its performance anxiety and stress.

If you had no erection problems when you were viewing porn regularly, what led you to stop PMO in the first place?

My wife found out about my habit. I stopped there and then, no cravings, no relapse, no urges. I've had 4 erection failures since I've quit. I haven't tried going for long periods without O, but I'm going to give that a try.

Why I dont think its PIED is because I enjoyed a healthy (normal) sex life even while PM

Do you feel any resentment or guilt over other secrets? This could simply be a matter of unresolved feelings or lack of bonding.

need_help

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Re: Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety
« Reply #12 on: June 03, 2014, 07:37:13 AM »
Do you feel any resentment or guilt over other secrets? This could simply be a matter of unresolved feelings or lack of bonding.

There are no other secrets. But I do feel terribly regretful and guilty for what I've done. I keep asking myself how did I end up in this?, why didnt I stop (I did in first year of our marriage), why couldnt I be like other men who didnt get involved in PMO?

bzarfas

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Re: Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety
« Reply #13 on: June 03, 2014, 09:48:58 AM »
Do you feel any resentment or guilt over other secrets? This could simply be a matter of unresolved feelings or lack of bonding.

There are no other secrets. But I do feel terribly regretful and guilty for what I've done. I keep asking myself how did I end up in this?, why didnt I stop (I did in first year of our marriage), why couldnt I be like other men who didnt get involved in PMO?
Don't blame yourself, you thought as we all did, you werent hurting anyone doing what you did.  Why do you think other men don't PMO? 


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Re: Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety
« Reply #14 on: June 03, 2014, 10:26:37 AM »
Do you feel any resentment or guilt over other secrets? This could simply be a matter of unresolved feelings or lack of bonding.

There are no other secrets. But I do feel terribly regretful and guilty for what I've done. I keep asking myself how did I end up in this?, why didnt I stop (I did in first year of our marriage), why couldnt I be like other men who didnt get involved in PMO?

Regret and guilt are erection killers, my friend. Is it possible that your problem stems from not forgiving yourself? (and hey, you are forgivable - the world didn't end)

savingmysoul

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Re: Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety
« Reply #15 on: June 03, 2014, 11:14:47 AM »
I would think that being able to be forgiven, one would first need to be able to forgive oneself.
I too feel incredibly guity about the choices i continued to make for so long, knowing full well what this would do to my family, especially my wife.  And yet i continued until caught.  I still carry that guilt.  Its tough not too.

My PIED issues i believe are, by in large, a direct result of that guilt, the shame and not being able to fully forgive myself.  This too is a slow process.  I would tend to agree with SO, about guilt getting in the way of erections.  But it is a process and one that we need to go through.  One day at a time, knowing that tomorrow we will be a little bit better helps.  And as a process, as long as we stay true to why we are here, we will be successful. 

all of us.

stay strong.

need_help

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Re: Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety
« Reply #16 on: June 05, 2014, 06:59:52 AM »
Thanks for all the encouragement.

So this is where I am at the moment, Im on some meds (injections into the base of penis that increase blood flow - every 3 days) - should I stop?
I also noticed I don't really have libido right now.
Should I try going without O for 1 or 2 months?




vetrn

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Re: Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety
« Reply #17 on: June 05, 2014, 05:31:05 PM »
I would not recommend stopping any medications without consulting your doctor need_help.  Be up front with them and let them know all the details as well.  Chances are they may go least invasive and see if the reboot works... V

need_help

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Re: Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety
« Reply #18 on: June 06, 2014, 04:54:19 AM »
Don't blame yourself, you thought as we all did, you werent hurting anyone doing what you did.  Why do you think other men don't PMO?

But that's just it, I did hurt someone - my wife. When I think about how much pain I've caused her - the guilt just piles in. That being said, we are still together and in a much better place than we were a couple months ago - and I am the luckiest guy in the world for her.

savingmysoul

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Re: Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety
« Reply #19 on: June 06, 2014, 06:30:10 AM »
Dealing with the guilt and knowing that our choices have caused unimaginable pain to the one we love the most is tough to get over.  Then accepting the fact that for some of us denying what we were doing for such a long period and not realizing what it was we were doing can make it worse.

Hang in there, stay strong.  This can be beaten, you can overcome.  One of the best sayings i have come across along my process is Don't give up what you want most for what you want today.


need_help

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Re: Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety
« Reply #20 on: June 10, 2014, 08:08:13 AM »
So I've done all the tests, and Physically I'm well. All tests results were well within normal.

So it comes down to stress and anxiety -  I cant shake this feeling of impending doom.


savingmysoul

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Re: Flat lining, PIED or performance anxiety
« Reply #21 on: June 10, 2014, 11:26:23 AM »
Hang tough, with time - one day at a time - things will improve.
You have to believe in yourself and believe in this path you have embarked on.
Stay strong, walk with me - for I too am on a similar path.

We can all get there together.