Author Topic: Andy's NoFap Journal  (Read 6216 times)

Andy_GJS

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Andy's NoFap Journal
« on: October 27, 2015, 09:55:53 AM »
Hi All,

Short intro about me and my problem:
I'm Andy from Indonesia. I'm 26 years old and currently working. I've been addicted to porn since young. Now porn and mastubation becomes my relief system whenever I feel stress. To worsen the situation, when I achieve something, e.g. finish a tough assignment at work, porn and masturbation becomes my reward system.

So now I want to break the vicious circle. I have been trying many many times but I keep relapsing. Most of the time because I'm too stress at work and my brain will ask me to PMO to relief that stress.

This time I want to get real serious about this and will try to write my journal every day. I hope you guys can support me and I will also read and support all of you in this forum.

Current things that I use for distractions:
1) Computer games
2) Fantasy NBA with friends (New NBA season starting soon)
3) Listen to music
4) Read novel (but not very effective)
5) Read and listen to church stuff (Yes, I'm a Christian)
6) Exercise (Currently trying to follow T25 daily program https://www.beachbody.com/product/fitness_programs/focus-t25-workout.do)

Please lemme know if you guys have any comments or suggestions! Let's support each other here!

Cheers!
« Last Edit: October 27, 2015, 09:58:04 AM by Andy_GJS »




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Andy_GJS

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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2015, 11:21:34 AM »
Day 3...

So far so good... Some pictures from porn came to my mind when I saw pretty girls around but I quickly snapped out of it by slapped/pinched myself. It did work surprisingly.

I worked OT today and now I'm still wide awake. Feel the urge to open porn because this timing is usually the most dangerous for me (it's about 23.19 here GMT+7). I try to distract myself by opening this site.

So I'm gonna heading to bed soon before the urges get stronger...

Cheers!




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Andy_GJS

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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #2 on: November 02, 2015, 11:49:32 AM »
Ah Crap! Relapsed at day 7. Can't resist the urge.

Gonna try harder!!!

A new day tomorrow!




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Andy_GJS

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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #3 on: November 02, 2015, 11:53:47 AM »
Any suggestions for mind distraction from porn and its urges??




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Dream_nofap

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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #4 on: November 02, 2015, 01:19:14 PM »
My first strategy with my accountability partner:
 This is one of the plans I send to my partner.  You can find your support in anyone......  It's a beautiful community

“You want to survive like cattle, form a heard. You want to hunt like wolves, form a pack! ”

MARK I:
1) Knowing the addiction:
First we need to be educated about the thing we are fighting. Go through the videos of Gabe and watch the great porn experiment. Get as much information about things we can get. Knowing the withdrawl symptoms is a must. So that whenever we feel that we remain prepared and know how to fight them.
2) Knowing the family:
This is one important factor. Know your family genes. Genes are what we have inherited and what we are made up of. Ever wondered why 1% population of USA controls 90% of it? Because they inherited their family genes and are hard working, intelligent and physically strong. It will be very difficult to compete with them but not impossible. Long story short, family history will affect you no matter what. By knowing your family, I mean know your genes. Does anyone in your family suffered addiction? Be it alcohol or drugs or tobacco or even petty things like Internet? Did they came out of it successfully or partially? You don't need to ask around, just think. Count your grandfathers, parents, your uncles and aunts (not the in laws of your parents, just the direct blood relating ones) and your siblings. For example, My father came out of a tobacco abuse but my grandfather still has a problem leaving it. It gives you an insight.
3) Knowing weak spots and trigger points:
this is very important. Know the time of the day when you feel low or miserable. For me it is the afternoon and late night. It is the point when we are most vulnerable and porn can get us. Doing something constructive during that time can help us. (Probably we'll figure that one out in MARK II). Similarly, Trigger points are of also dealt in the same way. Anything can be triggering such as for you it was something you didn't liked of the older girl you were seeing. (On a personal note, older chicks are proven to be... how to put it not such great match... They are way too mature and some, well, diplomatic)
4) Determination a.k.a “THE GRIT”
This is the single most important factor that can not only help us achieve our addiction free life but is most important thing to be successful professionally or personally. Do you know what do US navy seals have that make them so deadly? (US navy seal is the most deadliest special force in the world, Seal team 6 killed Osama Bin Laden.) They have determination that no ordinary man possess. During the selection process, they have a hell week. It is considered the toughest human exercise in the planet. Is is so tuff that most of the guys quit. The only ones who survive are the ones with one thing that makes all difference; GRIT. They were no any superior in strength to their counterparts but it was the determination that kept them going. So once we are determined, then there is only us and our aim.
5) Our jobs as accountability partners:
once we possess the knowledge. Next stats our journey:
I) Staying connected:
First we need to be connected. There is no point of doing it on reboot nation. Pathetic Interface. We need a fast social networking system. Facebook is out. (My ex-girlfriend has turned psycho and stalking me on every social networking site. I'll explain the details later.) Are you on Whatsapp, it is a facebook owned messaging app and free to use. I am solely on it because on this she cannot trace me and it is my problem that I cannot switch on any other. We need to stay connected so that we can form the bond and stick to our plans. In case of any fap emergency, we can have an contingency plan. Reboot nation does not give us this advantage.
II) Sticking out to each other:
 P subs are problem for me. So I need to control my urges a lot and I make sure you have them in control too and same goes for you. We need to protect each other's back. Make us responsible for each other's actions. You relapse so do I and vice versa.
III) Initiative:
We need to learn to initiate. You want to see a classic example of procrastination. We still  haven't started our journal ! We need to learn to initiate and reason as well.




REAL

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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #5 on: November 02, 2015, 03:57:26 PM »
Today's my birthday and I decided to give it a go to NoFap as well.
Wish us luck.

Andy_GJS

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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #6 on: November 03, 2015, 06:27:09 PM »
Hi there Dream_nofap!

Thanks for the tips!

Currently I'm still observing my addiction. Here's some of my observations:
1) My most vulnerable time is at night after work and in the morning especially when I'm alone in my room
2) Some of the urges come when I'm unable to solve my problems at work and feeling stressful
3) When I see hot girls around, I always try to look away but then the images from P always come in my mind
4) The only accountability partners are from this forum. I haven't told anyone about this including my family and friends. My family and friends are great but I'm kinda scared to tell them and I'm ashamed.
5) I often 'negotiate' with myself about P and P subs. Like "one bikini pic won't hurt" (I still don't know how I can stop this)

Cheers!
« Last Edit: November 03, 2015, 06:43:12 PM by Andy_GJS »




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Andy_GJS

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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #7 on: November 03, 2015, 06:28:27 PM »
Hi REAL!

Happy birthday to you my friend!  8)

All the best for the progress and maybe you can get a counter so that easier for you to monitor your progress!

Cheers!




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Andy_GJS

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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #8 on: November 03, 2015, 06:37:03 PM »
Back to Day 1!

Spent the whole day at home. I'm working from home. The temptation is huge! The mood swing is real bad.. I tried to shoo the urges away with games, sleep, or some light exercises.

I had this close relationship with a girl. We are very close but we are not together (yet). I think the mood swing affected my chats with her yesterday but when she asked me what's wrong, I just couldn't tell her about this.

When I woke up this morning, I feel like crap, no energy and frustrated. Usually what I will do is to PMO (what i used to relief myself from stress) thus the urges to PMO is really bad  :( . I think gonna hit a shower and quickly go to work before I relapse again.

I hope things will get better soon.

Cheers all!
« Last Edit: November 04, 2015, 03:52:07 PM by Andy_GJS »




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Lapper

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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #9 on: November 03, 2015, 07:44:33 PM »
I would suggest finding a nice local bar where you can work from.


At home, if you are sharing your place with someone else, move you computer to the living room ;)

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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #10 on: November 04, 2015, 07:25:20 AM »
his is what i am thinking to do for the porn blocking thing.

The devices in which i use porn:
1) phone
2) laptop

softwares that i am going to use:
1) k9 in laptop (if it comes to it then even paid version, i am an open source guy use both window and ubuntu)
2) comvigo in phone
3) set up an open dns network in the wi fi zone so no porn can be viewed.

In laptop, there is no anti porn in ubuntu so I am going to install k9 in windows and then register it with my friends id and i will ask my friend to set a password and that he does not tell me for the next five months. the same will be done with comvigo. the problem arises about the ubuntu. so what i am going to do is that i am going to transfer all the data of ubuntu and then ask the same friend to change my ubuntu password. then i have no access to ubuntu (it is very difficult to hack in my ubuntu because i have changed a lot of settings, i do not know the process and will not try because of the fear of corrupting the drive.)

The problem is that I have not yet told the friend about the reboot of addiction. SO i  am just going to lell him that i waste a lot of time watching it and want to get away for some time. any guy can understand that "Wasting a lot of time on porn" Right?  :P

It is very important that you register with an account whose e-mail password you do not know because you can be tempted to recover password of k9 or comvigo by deception tactics of 'forgot password'.

Also in your mobile phone take up some data which is important and cannot be transferred, with this you cannot possibly factory reset your phone. the data can be complex app settings or unfinished books on kindle. (you will lose a lot of bookmarks and they are a pain in the ass to relocate them, if you are a reading guy, you'll understand.)
 
Open dns is very important because it will block porn from a whole wi-fi connection so incase of a third divice you will not be able to access porn.

hope, this helps. and do inform me if you find a glitch in this plan.....





Andy_GJS

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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #11 on: November 04, 2015, 03:32:26 PM »
I would suggest finding a nice local bar where you can work from.


At home, if you are sharing your place with someone else, move you computer to the living room ;)

Hi Lapper!

Thanks for the suggestions,

Moving my com to the living room is not an option for me because I'm currently renting just a room so living room is out of bound for me.

The first one, yes I have been trying to stay late at work just to avoid being alone in my room. So that, when I reach home I just go to sleep straight away haha.

All the best to you too man!

Cheers!




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Andy_GJS

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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #12 on: November 04, 2015, 03:40:38 PM »
his is what i am thinking to do for the porn blocking thing.

The devices in which i use porn:
1) phone
2) laptop

softwares that i am going to use:
1) k9 in laptop (if it comes to it then even paid version, i am an open source guy use both window and ubuntu)
2) comvigo in phone
3) set up an open dns network in the wi fi zone so no porn can be viewed.

In laptop, there is no anti porn in ubuntu so I am going to install k9 in windows and then register it with my friends id and i will ask my friend to set a password and that he does not tell me for the next five months. the same will be done with comvigo. the problem arises about the ubuntu. so what i am going to do is that i am going to transfer all the data of ubuntu and then ask the same friend to change my ubuntu password. then i have no access to ubuntu (it is very difficult to hack in my ubuntu because i have changed a lot of settings, i do not know the process and will not try because of the fear of corrupting the drive.)

The problem is that I have not yet told the friend about the reboot of addiction. SO i  am just going to lell him that i waste a lot of time watching it and want to get away for some time. any guy can understand that "Wasting a lot of time on porn" Right?  :P

It is very important that you register with an account whose e-mail password you do not know because you can be tempted to recover password of k9 or comvigo by deception tactics of 'forgot password'.

Also in your mobile phone take up some data which is important and cannot be transferred, with this you cannot possibly factory reset your phone. the data can be complex app settings or unfinished books on kindle. (you will lose a lot of bookmarks and they are a pain in the ass to relocate them, if you are a reading guy, you'll understand.)
 
Open dns is very important because it will block porn from a whole wi-fi connection so incase of a third divice you will not be able to access porn.

hope, this helps. and do inform me if you find a glitch in this plan.....



Hi man!

That's a good plan right there!

For me I tried K9 before and I planned to do exactly the same thing (ask a friend to change the password). The problem with me is that some of my work requires a lot of research (non related to P whatsoever). When I need to do this, K9 often blocks those sites that I need to open for my work. Thus, it will be troublesome if I need to ask my friend for the password every time I need to do work.

What I did was I set a long, unusual password that I will be difficult to remember or I only use once in a while. However, sometimes it backfires when I'm not strong enough to fight the urges  :'(

For phone, I don't access P from phone so I never try that app. Also, I'm not ubuntu user. However, your plans sound really good and bulletproofed man.

Lemme me know how's the progress after you apply all that and how does your friend respond to your confession.

Cheers!
« Last Edit: November 04, 2015, 03:42:34 PM by Andy_GJS »




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Andy_GJS

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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #13 on: November 04, 2015, 03:51:38 PM »
Day 2

There is a good feeling when I realized that I survived 2 days.

Also, I've got good feedback from my boss regarding my work for the past 6 months. I can only imagine that the feedback will be much better if I'm totally free from PMO. So, that motivates me even more to stay away from PMO. THANK GOD for all that!

However, I found it really hard to concentrate and the fatigue is still there when I woke up this morning. Lacks of energy. I didn't expect the withdrawal symptom will come to me this fast.

Some urges and dirty thoughts came when I got back from work especially I stumbled upon P-subs pictures in social media.

That's all for now!

Cheers and stay strong guys!
« Last Edit: November 04, 2015, 04:04:13 PM by Andy_GJS »




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Dream_nofap

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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #14 on: November 05, 2015, 12:01:26 AM »
Good... I'll keep you posted. You too try this plan.....




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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #15 on: November 05, 2015, 06:01:25 PM »
Day 3

Nothing much today. Just normal day at work and I talked to a girl that I'm chasing for about 1 hour on the phone.

Checking on withdrawal symptoms:
- Still lack of concentration --> can't focus for a long time
- P images were popping up in my head when I saw hot girls around which led to some strong urges
« Last Edit: November 06, 2015, 04:10:53 AM by Andy_GJS »




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tyobes7

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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #16 on: November 06, 2015, 04:16:16 PM »
hello andy;
I saw your answer on my notebook and I decided to take the time to read your story; it is similar in suffering and I am happy because I found someone like me and wants to stop this mess.
I am in my 6th day and since I am a student, and you've read my story in which I unveiled a bit my personality, I find great difficulty; I never slept with a girl, even flirting, so plan to do this becomes more intense but I try to curbing those urges


I wish you good luck, I'll try to go see your news every day :)

Courage, do not forget, no PMO during the rest 2015

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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #17 on: November 06, 2015, 06:30:53 PM »
Day 4

Today I woke up with a better condition. I had a pretty long morning boner. I felt better than the previous 2 days.

Worked the whole day and was out at night for some church stuff. When I reached home I was too tired but I couldn't sleep. That's where the nightmare started. The urges were super strong. My brain keeps trying to negotiate with me by telling me.. it's okay to relapse.. 1 peek wouldn't hurt...

I opened the P but it was blocked by K9. I quickly took a bath and went straight to my bed afterwards.

Weekend is coming. I have a quite busy weekend ahead. However, i think my reward system is kicking in. It's like telling me that I have worked hard the whole week. Let's have some fun (which usually I will PMO).

So I hope I survive this weekend. Stay strong and positive guys!

Cheers!




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AgnitioSano

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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #18 on: November 07, 2015, 11:22:04 AM »
Staying occupied is one of my biggest problems too.  Video games help unless they have attrative girls in them, then I just want to go watch porn.  I have a big family so they keep me busy but they dont know the battle I fight with porn.  I wish I could be honest with them, but I dont want the shame and disapproval.  I can imagine that living by yourself makes it a lot harder, when we feel alone we are most likely to reach for the safety blanket of porn.  Stay strong my brother, I will be praying for you.  Let me know if you need an accountability partner, we are all here to help you.  Remember this is a battle and we are all bretheren soldiers.

Andy_GJS

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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #19 on: November 08, 2015, 07:08:25 PM »
hello andy;
I saw your answer on my notebook and I decided to take the time to read your story; it is similar in suffering and I am happy because I found someone like me and wants to stop this mess.
I am in my 6th day and since I am a student, and you've read my story in which I unveiled a bit my personality, I find great difficulty; I never slept with a girl, even flirting, so plan to do this becomes more intense but I try to curbing those urges


I wish you good luck, I'll try to go see your news every day :)

Courage, do not forget, no PMO during the rest 2015

Thanks alot tyobes7!

I will try to post everyday here. Same here. I never sleep with a girl so it's kinda harder for me to resist the urges since PMO is the only way to relief. However, I gotta stay strong and find thousands other things to distract my mind!



Staying occupied is one of my biggest problems too.  Video games help unless they have attrative girls in them, then I just want to go watch porn.  I have a big family so they keep me busy but they dont know the battle I fight with porn.  I wish I could be honest with them, but I dont want the shame and disapproval.  I can imagine that living by yourself makes it a lot harder, when we feel alone we are most likely to reach for the safety blanket of porn.  Stay strong my brother, I will be praying for you.  Let me know if you need an accountability partner, we are all here to help you.  Remember this is a battle and we are all bretheren soldiers.

Hi AgnitioSano!

Yeah I know. I think I went through that before. Played a game to distract myself but end up watching porn. Oh, same here! I'm ashamed to tell anyone around me including my family. Yes, living alone is a real challenge but I gotta start somewhere right? hehe.

Thanks for the prayer! I will pray for you as well. We are in this together and let's fight it!

Blessings!




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Andy_GJS

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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #20 on: November 08, 2015, 07:13:38 PM »
Day 5 and 6

I survived weekend!!! It felt really great!

It's definitely not smooth but I managed to hold on! The urges were real man! I have to be honest here. I encountered few P subs from social media. Suddenly all the P images went into my brain. It was brutal man.

Despite all the challenges, I made it. Had a great Sunday service yesterday. It reminded me that God is good and He will definitely help me through this storm. It reminded me why I'm doing this!

So, it's a new week, new day! Stay strong people! WE CAN DO IT!

Cheers!




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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #21 on: November 13, 2015, 04:19:55 PM »
Relapsed!!!!! :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

Start from day 0 again.... I couldn't control the stress in me...

When I thought I'm making progress.... sighhh
« Last Edit: November 13, 2015, 04:24:38 PM by Andy_GJS »




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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #22 on: December 01, 2015, 08:01:11 PM »
Hey, you can do it.  ;)

So you had to reset a stupid counter. Your resolve is a matter of mental fortitude. Don't think for a minute you're not 10 million times stronger than porn - It's just useless pixels. It don't want to de-stress you, it wants to consume you and preoccupy your mind into a useless path of self-loathing.

You don't like it, BUT you are attempting to keep yourself clean from this disgusting animal. That deserves props :D
Just don't get too prideful when you do make progress, that's how a crash happens (Proverbs 16:18) because the fact is, the desire waits for the right opportunity to attack you, like a cheetah crouching in the grass. Anyway, keep facing forward, you have no need to look back! 
« Last Edit: December 01, 2015, 08:05:04 PM by IAdmitItIHaveAProblem »


I should type something witty down here.

My Journal:
http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=6955.75

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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #23 on: March 28, 2016, 05:45:54 PM »
Hi All,

Yes I'm not new here. I used to be active in this forum but at one point of time, I just stopped because I keep relapsing. Now I decided to revive this journal and start writing again

I guess today I want to start a new one especially after this Easter. Yes I'm a Christian.

Anyway, I've been clean for 5 days. I kept myself busy mostly at church throughout the long weekend. However, last night the urge started again.

My current biggest struggle now are erotic stories and instagram pictures.

I hope to get some support from you guys here. Also, let me know if I can help you in any way.

Thanks for reading!
God bless!




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Andy_GJS

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Re: Andy's NoFap Journal
« Reply #24 on: March 28, 2016, 05:57:50 PM »
Another day has passed! Thank God!

Hmm.. It wasn't that good day for me at work... I opened 1 tab on erotic story website but managed to gather myself and close it immediately. Then I met the girl that I like for dinner.. Love it! back felt so tired... bathed and slept directly (no time for PMO thoughts)

Woke up this morning, feeling some strong urges... Does anyone experience the same thing? Again, I went to instagram. I re-installed the app so that the browse history is gone.

So far, I managed to hold on but gotta find something to do with these 2 things because they can lead me back to the ugly relapse!

Have a great day ahead everyone and stay clean from PMO!
God bless!




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