Author Topic: Introduction  (Read 1229 times)

simplycomplex

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Introduction
« on: May 23, 2014, 01:50:17 PM »
Hi, everyone.

I have lurked here before, and I have been doing a lot of research on PIED. I just figured I would register on the forum and start interacting with others.

I am a 29-year-old male, and I am pretty sure I am, like many here, suffering from PIED.

My first relationship (with Woman A) that was sexual was great - no problems whatsoever. In fact, we had sex quite frequently. Fast forward some time to another relationship (with Woman B), and things were great, too. There was slight sexual incompatibility, but nothing that I wasn't willing to work through. I actually fell in love with Woman B, but she ended up breaking my heart; I took it horribly. It was right around that time I really started looking to porn for making myself feel better. It got more and more frequent. Sometimes I would PMO 3-4 times in one day. At the very least, it was usually once per day, and this lasted for quite some time. Once I started getting over Woman B, I had sexual interactions with other women, but I started noticing something was different. I didn't seem to have the strongest erections during intercourse, but I didn't seem to worry. The PMO was still on-going at this point, and I was even starting to look at some pretty hardcore stuff. The last time I tried to have sex with a woman, I could maintain an erection to put a condom on; very discouraging.

To me, it didn't make much sense. I didn't feel any different that would suggest something physically wrong. I started doing some digging and discovered issues related to PIED. After reading quite a bit about it, it seemed to make a lot of sense in the context of what I was/am experiencing. I still wonder if there is anything physically wrong, though, like low testosterone. I am considering getting some blood work done.

Not too long ago, I decided to try a reboot. It didn't take long before I relapsed. I PMO'd, and while I did, I had one of the strongest erections I can remember. Not sure if that is/was a good sign. I felt terrible after, though, and I decided to try a reboot again.

I am now on Day 10 of my current reboot. Last night and this afternoon, I was very tempted to relapse. I looked at very soft images and started to masturbate to erection. I didn't orgasm, though. I stopped myself. I don't want to ruin the progress I have made so far, but it's really hard. I think my body is going through some withdrawal. The last two mornings, I woke with MW - the first time was strong and lasted a bit, and the second was kind of weak, but still there. Other than that, it has been the dreaded flatline. MW is very infrequent.

I am currently dating a girl, and we have been physical, but no sex. I have no problem achieving a strong erection during foreplay, but I do fear that I won't be able to maintain it if I were to attempt going for a condom. We are not rushing into sex, though, and she doesn't know about my concerns with PIED; though, she has felt some of the effects of it - my lack of desire, drive, and socializing. But, I do like her, and I am trying to make things work. I may open up to her about things. I am just a little worried because we haven't known each other THAT long.

I am determined to get porn out of my life. I never would have thought it could have this big of an impact, but it obviously does.

Any comments, support, or suggestions you guys have on all of this is much appreciated. I look forward to getting to know some of the members here, and I really appreciate some of the success stories I have read. Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I hope everyone is enjoying their Friday!

savingmysoul

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2014, 02:32:45 PM »
Simplycomplex,

Welcome to the nation, congrats on taking the first step.  Its not an easy one, but we all have chosen to take that first step for any number of reasons.

I am 45, and suffering from PIED as well, and it can be a struggle to get through.  But it can be done, with strength and courage.  I would recommend you stop both P and M now.  And as I am learning, O may need to be shelved for a time as well.  There is a lot of neural pathways and reward circuitry that needs to be undone and redone.  Do some research, i am 143 days into my reboot and still learning.

But, this can be corrected, and overcome.  Find your strength.

Good Luck,

SMS

Viper

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2014, 06:58:35 PM »
Seems like your case is more out of anxiety.
Because you mentioned achieving a hard erection during foreplay.
Then you went on to say that when in the mood and your dick is hard,
you don't want to go for the condom out of fear that it will be limp when
ready to go balls deep.
That's not an usual thought process.
I can tell you right now, that's exactly what happened when I first
started getting ED because I prefer to use a condom myself.

I believe rebooting is a good idea even if you didn't have ED.

simplycomplex

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #3 on: June 01, 2014, 10:10:16 PM »
Hi, Viper. Thanks for the input.

It may be a little related to performance anxiety; I don't know. I'm sure the heavy PMO hasn't helped, though. I do notice, though, if I masturbate on my own, then I do lose the erection fairly quickly if I stop the stimulation - not sure if that's common.

I will admit that the last couple times I was with a woman, I was pretty stressed and felt anxious. Plus, there wasn't much of a physical/mental/sexual connection between the two of us. It wasn't meaningful sex. That could be part of it, too. Regardless, I am really trying to quit PMO. (Like you alluded to, it's always a good thing.) After about 8-9 days without PMO, I noticed morning wood starting to come back more frequently. Quitting is so difficult, though. I've had to reset a few times, the most recent of which was today. I feel terrible after resetting because I feel like an utter failure.

I am going to start a journal here so I can, hopefully, keep better track of things.

Viper

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Re: Introduction
« Reply #4 on: June 05, 2014, 09:29:39 PM »
yeah, go ahead and find the forum in your age group and start a journal.
A lot of your peers will also chime in.