Author Topic: I had a "slip up" today, and I need some help, day 63 no PMO.  (Read 2332 times)

Niagara

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I had a "slip up" today, and I need some help, day 63 no PMO.
« on: November 10, 2015, 05:43:21 PM »
I been at nofap for three years (ish) now, and this is my longest clean (no mess ups/hardmode no sex) streak. I have been getting great benefits, in terms of mood, staying present and focused, charisma around people in social environments, lifts in the gym, etc. Yeah so that's the good, but now why I'm here today.

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So last night I stayed up till 3am cramming a paper for class (8am). To make matters worse I had my first wet dream in over a month last night. Woke up, stressed out as fuk, went to class, did a half ass job on the test and came home with the plan to play some fallout 4 and chill. Unfortunately it wasn't done downloading, and I started screwing around on reddit. A fucking mistake. I should of known, no sleep, chaser effect from wet dream = fucking disaster.

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And this is why I'm here; I ended up spending about 10 minutes on "nsfw" (GW/dirty subredits). I pulled my self away, went for a walk; but I was being nauratic to all hell. "I just totally fucked a 60 day streak WTF I HATE MY SELF.. etc. etc." Came back to my apartment and was just about to give up and do the dead... loaded up one of my old kinky porn videoes; and pressed play.

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About 3 minutes in, a family member called me... it was a non-important phone call but it was enough to snap me out of it. Almost like a "sign" if your into that kind of stuff. I stopped, closed the video, and recommitted to nofap. I DID NOT FAP. But I did break my promise to my self not to watch porn, and got a erection to artificial stimuli. 3 hours later (now) and I feel the effects of the dopamine wearing off; replaced with lack of energy, lack of focus, and a anxious feeling that something is wrong. Basically about 30% of that "shit" feeling after a PMO session. Did I relapse? Is the damage done? Part of me just wants to binge out for a few days then get back to it....

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TL:DR:

I'm not quite sure how to feel right now. I'm happy that I stopped, and didn't fap... but part of me feels that the damage was already done. I need some input from you gents. What would you do in this situation? You're on a 63 day streak, broke down and looked at images for about 10 minutes, and watched a porn video for about 3/4 minutes, without fapping. It's by far the most damaging/anti-reboot thing you've done in the last three months. Fuck it and fap? Forget about it and move on? And if so, how far did I set my self back (in theory)?
« Last Edit: November 10, 2015, 05:49:00 PM by Niagara »

IAdmitItIHaveAProblem

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Re: I had a "slip up" today, and I need some help, day 63 no PMO.
« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2015, 06:44:03 PM »
Don't go back to it. Your brain is lying to you. You don't need porn or your old lifestyle.

I think it's awesome how long you went without it! Don't focus on the mistake; You have a goal, live up to it! You're a mental fortress as long as you keep your priorities in order.

Use that disgusted feeling as fuel. You will not be a slave to what your brain perceives to be your desires, not if you don't want to be.



I should type something witty down here.

My Journal:
http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=6955.75

freedom5o50

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Re: I had a "slip up" today, and I need some help, day 63 no PMO.
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2015, 06:47:16 PM »
The important thing is you get back at it. Learn from your mistake. The next time, the thought of porn comes to your mind, think about the ill feelings and emotions you just felt after watching porn. You got this!

cknfella

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Re: I had a "slip up" today, and I need some help, day 63 no PMO.
« Reply #3 on: November 10, 2015, 07:18:39 PM »
Bro,

I don't know you, and I've never read any of your posts, but man, I'm proud of you. I think you should focus on the fact that you chose to FLEE today, despite great temptation.  Was today a setback? Yes.  Was it a relapse?  I don't think so. Honestly, I was thinking about this in my own life today, on these particularly difficult days, when we try our hardest to gauge our sexual health despite temptations...the very fact you didn't binge...which like so many of us, is a large part of our history, sexual binging...the fact you didn't do this, snapped out, fought and are now posting on here is PROOF OF YOUR GROWTH AND CHANGE.

Perfect? nope, but progressing? 100%. 

Be on HIGH ALERT, the chaser affects of today will last for a few days, but do not despair my friend, you're clearly making progress. If you weren't, today would have looked very different.

Niagara

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Re: I had a "slip up" today, and I need some help, day 63 no PMO.
« Reply #4 on: November 10, 2015, 08:33:49 PM »
Hey, thanks for the support, all of you. Yeah I slipped today, but I didn't fall on my face and break my neck like I use to do when I would slip a little then binge for two weeks. So tomorrow I know what to do different. It's time to quit screwing around so much on the computer, get off the video games, and quit half-assing life. You can only walk on the rail so long, if you continue to drink, game, look at "questionable" content, you will eventually fall back into a heavy relapse and hole. I'm not doing it this time... by Christams I will be at 90 days. A 90 day streak with blemishes and bruises? Hell yeah. But 90 fucking days without whipping my dick out, and PMOing to watching other people have acted sex and frying my brain. I'm gonna shake this one off; and go harder starting right now. Good luck guys, it's worth it.

freedom2015

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Re: I had a "slip up" today, and I need some help, day 63 no PMO.
« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2015, 09:13:54 PM »
I'm super inspired by the way you handled the issues you faced today.  I have had very similar experiences (staying up late to finish homework) and feeling like binging after a slip up. I'm only on the 3rd day of my reboot, but I have had a lot of urges to look up youtube videos for pseudoporn. I'm using your story to stay strong. I cannot wait to say i've went 5 days then 10 then eventually 60! Keep your head up and stay strong.