Author Topic: My Rebirth And Delivery From The Bondage Of Porn Addiction  (Read 1156 times)

TDP

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My Rebirth And Delivery From The Bondage Of Porn Addiction
« on: August 26, 2015, 11:36:10 AM »
[I've decided to post on this forum.  I have a journal on YBR, but the site seems to have crashed.]

I'm a 46 year old former porn addict, happily married with 4 children.  My porn addiction almost ended my marriage 10 years ago.  At the time, I made a promise to my wife that I would quit.  That promise lasted about a month, and I had been living that lie until 4 months ago when I dropped porn for good.  As a result, I've chosen to keep my effort to reboot "private".  My wife is unaware.  This has created challenges of its own, but I saw it as my only option. 

As I mentioned, I quit porn cold turkey and began my reboot 120+ days ago.  I stumbled into YBOP back in April in a desperate search for the cause of my sexual malfunction.  The information was stunning to me.  I had been blaming my problems on everything except my porn addiction.

In the early days of my reboot, I went through some wicked withdrawal - including crushing anxiety and depression.  I still struggle a bit with anxiety, but for the most part, I feel I'm well on my way to recovery.  I choose now not to get bogged down in the ED, PE, DE, etc... terminology, as I feel it reinforces some mental barriers that I'm trying to overcome.  I'm trying to focus more on the bigger picture of my recovery, instead of the next potential failure in the bedroom.  Yes, I'm still having issues with hypersensitivity (premature ejaculation).  I struggle also with low libido and a weak mind/penis connection, but I've come to understand just how nonlinear this process is, and that the overall trend is upward - IF YOU STAY CLEAN.  That's the key.  You MUST stay away from ALL 2D stimulation.

I also believe there is a spiritual/moral component to all of this as well.  I won't get into that here, but I know if it had not been for my relationship with Jesus Christ, I would have relapsed long ago.

This process works, and the journey has been life-changing for me in many ways.  The brain can, and will heal itself, but it takes time.  Most of all, we must make porn a thing of the past.


hopeful

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Re: My Rebirth And Delivery From The Bondage Of Porn Addiction
« Reply #1 on: August 26, 2015, 12:52:02 PM »
TDP,
for starters, welcome on this forum.
My understanding of the idea of a reboot started here, and with success. I'd been struggling for 1,5 years before I found this site. I learned a lot about the damage to my brain (and my relationship) and the way to fix it.
Keep posting, don't fight this demon on your own.

« Last Edit: August 26, 2015, 02:33:19 PM by hopeful »

bob

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Re: My Rebirth And Delivery From The Bondage Of Porn Addiction
« Reply #2 on: August 26, 2015, 04:19:58 PM »
TP,

Glad to have you here. You are among a great group of folks that are committed to beating this thing.

sodonewithit

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Re: My Rebirth And Delivery From The Bondage Of Porn Addiction
« Reply #3 on: August 26, 2015, 07:01:36 PM »
Howdy TDP,

Good to have you here.  I look forward to reading and sharing the journey with you.  Myself I stopped about 6 months ago and ha e had the odd slip up but life happens.   The actual reboot is something I'm struggling with also but again it's a time issue and thankfully us in this section have experienced a woman, I can't imagine the poor teen guys here. 

Anyways this can be overcome with time, effort and not cheating as you said
My wife told me to be a participant not a voyeur, I think we should all do this.

Watched "Hot Girls Wanted", all us guys should.

L.T.D.

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Re: My Rebirth And Delivery From The Bondage Of Porn Addiction
« Reply #4 on: August 27, 2015, 11:50:02 AM »
Welcome TDP!

Sodonewithit, it breaks my heart when I read the teens/20s posts. So much so that I've basically stopped reading them. So sad.