Author Topic: Here goes everything...  (Read 4616 times)

PIED64

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Re: Here goes everything...
« Reply #25 on: September 11, 2015, 12:37:45 PM »
Today marks 5 weeks on this journey so far.  There have been ups and downs, but no stumbles thus far.  I have found that I have to be careful with some things that may seem informative, but begin to trigger thoughts.

***Potential trigger alert***  skip this paragraph if you are concerned about avoiding potential triggers.
I saw mention in another journal about thepinkcross, a website where former pornstars speak out about the horrible negative aspects of the industry and their personal experiences.  While I believe that there is good information there, I found a former favorite of mine and started to remember images of her.  I will be steering clear of this site for the foreseeable future, perhaps for good.
***End of alert***

It has been a tough yet remarkable journey so far.  I am striving for my next major goal of 60 days.  The mental clarity that I have seen in this short time is nothing short of amazing.  I am still awaiting the return of my old friends, MW and NE.  I try not to dwell on it since I know that it is part of the process to have to wait for these to return as the brain continues to recover and rewire.

I want to thank you all.  I have gathered strength, helpful information, guidance, and feeling of acceptance through reading your journals and through comments you may have left on my journal.

Onward and upward!

bob

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Re: Here goes everything...
« Reply #26 on: September 11, 2015, 12:58:36 PM »
We are proud of your success. Great job!


unchained

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Re: Here goes everything...
« Reply #27 on: September 11, 2015, 03:23:07 PM »

I am still awaiting the return of my old friends, MW and NE.  I try not to dwell on it since I know that it is part of the process to have to wait for these to return as the brain continues to recover and rewire.


A quick note regarding my personal experiences with MW and such.  I wouldn't worry too much whether you get them daily, occasionally or at all.  For me, they come and go.  I'll awake several days in a row with MW, and then I may go several without.  I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and have an erection but won't have one when I wake up in the morning.  Some days I wake up and it feels full but not hard...kind of like it was hard a few minutes ago but is going down.  My guess is that the erections come and go all throughout the night as we move in and out of the various sleep cycles that repeat over and over.  You may very well be getting night time erections but just waking naturally at a time when it has subsided.  For that reason I would try not to over think it.

I also wouldn't worry about spontaneous erections.  My guess is that the sexual cues a 40+ 50+ guy responds to are naturally less sensitive than a teenager.  As an older guy, your brain better knows when the time is right based on experience and understating when it needs to respond.  If you are able to get and maintain an erection when the time is right, then you are moving in the right direction.  That's the only time it really matters anyway.  For me, I want 100% success with the wife when the time is right...any others are an inconvenience at best and a distraction at the least.  I can still remember having a hard-on that lasted the entire school day in 8th grade and would really rather not have to suffer through that again, lol.

PIED64

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Re: Here goes everything...
« Reply #28 on: September 11, 2015, 04:42:00 PM »
Thank you bob and unchained!

You are absolutely right unchained, I need to remember this.

If you are able to get and maintain an erection when the time is right, then you are moving in the right direction.  That's the only time it really matters anyway.

PIED64

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Re: Here goes everything...
« Reply #29 on: September 16, 2015, 05:28:44 PM »
Hey guys, still going strong here!  I just wanted to say again how helpful it is to read the journals of others on this site.  I recently came across this nugget in Bob's journal.  There is a link below to an excellent albeit lengthy topic on another forum.  To me the information and true goals we should have around this rebooting process are spot on.

Hi folks,

Last night I read the following link. I felt like it held a great deal of wisdom regarding this reboot process.

http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=15558.0[/url]

 A couple of the points were as follows. Please forgive the paraphrasing of this link...
  • Don't deall with the P, put your energy in being a new you.
  • Don't dwell on your counter, dwell on your progress. Use of a spreadsheet may give a better picture. If one has cut down on PMO then that's success! If you relapse, its not "start over." Its just part of the process. Realize you want to change and get back to it. A counter may make you feel like you are starting all over again
  • Post positive, don't give this thing the power of a negative post. Anything that includes shame gives power to PMO, (I want to make sure to differentiate between shame and guilt. Shame is "I'm stupid. I have relapsed." Guilt is "I relapsed. I don't feel good about it but it doesn't make me any less of a person.)

Because of this link, I am going to change the way I approach the reboot process. I will be removing my current counters and replace it with a counter measuring the time from my last PMO. This was my main goal, one in which I have had success.

I will be modifying my counter to be a counter measuring the time from my last PMO, as this is the real goal.  I will continue my commitment to avoid P subs and MO as well, but I haven't had any slips here thus far either.  I want to maintain focus on the true goal, no PMO.

Thanks again for all of the support so far!

Onward and Upward!

sodonewithit

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Re: Here goes everything...
« Reply #30 on: September 16, 2015, 05:55:02 PM »
I first read that thread in another posters success thread and found it full of clarity which I have used to continue onward.  This isn't so much about not fapping as it is a lifestyle.  Keeping a open mind to success works, glad to see you found that page.
My wife told me to be a participant not a voyeur, I think we should all do this.

Watched "Hot Girls Wanted", all us guys should.

Kurall_Creator

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Re: Here goes everything...
« Reply #31 on: September 17, 2015, 07:01:05 AM »
I really love the mental clarity I have now.

I've been to college before, so I know the difference between now and then. During a lecture, I can write notes while listening to the teacher. When I was last there, that was almost impossible. I can do both now!

PIED64

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Re: Here goes everything...
« Reply #32 on: September 23, 2015, 01:02:25 PM »
Just popping in for a quick update.  Things are continuing to go well.  As time passes I can feel the resolve getting stronger and stronger.
Who knew, it was in me all along!  The tipping point for me was when I learned what this was doing to my brain and I realized it as what it is, a full blown addiction like any other addiction.  I am so thankful for the wealth of information that has been made available to us here and on other great sites.

Again I want to thank you all for the words of encouragement and the things you have shared in your own journals.  It makes us all stronger.

Onward and Upward!

hopeful

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Re: Here goes everything...
« Reply #33 on: September 23, 2015, 02:21:44 PM »
Congratulations, this is good news.
There are really no secrets in our brains. We just have to understand and use them.
Glad to read you're having succes with this.