Author Topic: New life begins  (Read 17863 times)

Punk Monk

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #25 on: August 03, 2015, 08:59:06 PM »
Good job, man!

Just remember...if you beat it, it'll beat you!

clickshop1628

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #26 on: August 03, 2015, 10:19:47 PM »
My story is similar to most on here. I'm 41 and have not been very successful in relationships. Was married for 8 years and that ended 3 years ago. Had a few girlfriends since and recently got dumped by someone I truly care for.  Basically due to a lack of intimacy connected to ED issues.  Why is this happening to me? I was just chalking it up to being older and this is just the the way life is. Starting to believe that all guys my age are having the same problem and I guess little blue pills are the answer. Then surfing the web I come across articles on porn addiction. Porn addiction? What kind of loser is addicted to porn? Me, that's who. As I read the article I realize all the symptoms describe me and my issues to a T. Then watching some of Gabe's videos I realize that this is great news! I'm addicted to porn! I can be cured! This will be fixed! There are support groups for this? Even better! Just finding this out has changed my attitude 180 degrees! Now the road to recovery begins. Trying to cure a routine habit of 15-20 years is not going to be easy. Been 2 days without pmo (not exactly sure what this stands for yet) and so far I'm feeling inspired and hopeful. Not looking forward to the withdrawal but knowing there is an end to this sexual Hell is so relieving.

This is a journal of my progress. I'm happy to be here and any advice or support is welcomed. Thank you in advance.

Hey, you are not alone. That's a good start. Porn addiction can affect ED, so can an unhealthy lifestyle and lack of fitness. Don't let these ruin your life. Cheers, pal.
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Kurall_Creator

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #27 on: August 04, 2015, 08:01:45 AM »
Good job LTD!

On the food front, I make myself a smoothie every morning. 2 cups of mixed milk and orange juice, one banana, a large handful of mixed frozen Barrie's, two heaping tablespoons of probiotic yogurt, and some honey.

On the weekends, I make myself a dinner in a crockpot, like spaghetti sauce, or a stew, soup, or something I'm craving. I package it away in ziplock containers in the freezer and when I am about to eat, I take out the container, microwave it and then eat. Quick, easy, and healthy!

Exercise is so important. Taking yoga classes should help both the fitness and the social aspects of your life! Go for it!!!

L.T.D.

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #28 on: August 04, 2015, 09:29:47 PM »
Long story short....the ex and I are back together. It just makes sense. So I pick her up and we go for a little drive and eat/drink at a beachside bar. OMG The crab melt was to literally die for! Had a few beers then took a walk down to the beach. I stopped her half way there and kissed her (got a mini chub). Held each other on the beach for a while. Very nice. Took her home and things heated up quickly. I am proud to report the little soldier was given the Silver Star! No V penetration, due to monthly issues, which was great to have that pressure off. (My ED would be ok thru foreplay but pushin rope when going for penetration) I am certain that if penetration was going to happen tonight he would have been up for that challenge too. I know I'm not cured but that was an awesome experience. Yes I got my O and one of the best Os I've ever had.

Now time to sit back and see what's happens. Is this gonna push me into another flatline? I don't care. I'd do it again in a minute.

I should add it was the emotional connection that made this possible. That was the little things like holding hands, her touching my arm when driving, the red light kissing, and just looking into her eyes.
« Last Edit: August 04, 2015, 10:03:24 PM by L.T.D. »

Kurall_Creator

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #29 on: August 05, 2015, 07:24:26 AM »
Excellent!!!

I found that with my SO, having her in my life made the reboot so much easier.

L.T.D.

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #30 on: August 06, 2015, 07:19:55 AM »
Well, 13 days in. The anxiety is still there, although it seems to be better. I did have sex yesterday afternoon. And everything worked well and it was a wonderful experience. Maybe a little DE but no woman ever complained about a little DE. I have noticed that the urge to M has been stronger since being "active" again. I just keep reminding myself of the consequences and the urge fades pretty quickly.

Punk Monk

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #31 on: August 06, 2015, 11:21:42 PM »
Just read your post.  Good to hear it, man!

Sometimes all it takes is one success to be a confidence booster.

And yeah...I had the urge to M after my success earlier this week. Still fighting it right now as I type this.  I guess when them juices start flowing they want to keep going!

Just keep reminding yourself how much better the real thing is than the self help.

Eventually, your body will catch on.

L.T.D.

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #32 on: August 07, 2015, 07:55:43 AM »
2 weeks in the can. Resetting goal for 30 days.

The ED issue has improved dramatically but I'm finding that I'm being selfish in bed. This is unusual for me. I've always gone into sex thinking this is not about me. This is about her. But this week I've noticed the opposite. My sexual habits over the past years were completely selfish, I get that now.  So when it came to having actual sex it wasn't about me (mostly due to knowing I couldn't preform anyway). I always had my pmo to fall back on. Take the pmo away and I've become a selfish lover.

I sure hope practice makes perfect. I really don't want to lose this woman....again. She is being a trooper through this though. We talk openly and honestly about all of this, which is really nice and helpful.

Punk Monk

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #33 on: August 07, 2015, 11:55:47 AM »
I was the same way...pretty unselfish in the sack. Usually because it took me longer to get off and I knew it would happen eventually. So I could afford to be and enjoyed being "generous".

But as the PIED and DE really took off, I began to focus a lot more on me which, as you all know, can lead to its own set of problems.

Like you, I've been very open with my wife about my situation. And she's flat out said we can "focus on me" for now as we work through this. 

However, I find the opposite happening. As the PIED and PMO haze has started to lift, I find myself exploring more of the sensations around the real thing and am just enjoying the moment.


L.T.D.

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #34 on: August 09, 2015, 07:47:41 PM »
Just an update/check in.

Overall life is good. The relationship has rekindled and progressing nicely. Even missing her when she's not with me (Something I didn't feel while PMOing). Sex is improving, meaning I'm improving. The last couple of times no problems with the ED but it feels so damn good now that I can't last long enough. This has never been an issue. I was considered the ironman lol. I'm sure this is just a little phase, like the others I've had recently.

Had 1 soda (today) over the last week. And eating better overall. Went out and instead of the bbq bacon cheese burger with onion rings, I ordered the avocado BLT and a house salad. It didn't kill me and tasted better than I thought it would. Probably not going to join a yoga class. That might upset the relationship. So still figuring out what I'm going to do exercise wise. Sill doing the sit ups and push ups twice a day. That's getting a little easier.

Work has been a little slow lately but it's still paying the bills. Started a budget for the first time ever.

Still going strong. Get the desire to M often and P rarely makes a appearance in my thoughts. The P is easily dismissed by remembering the consequences. The M is getting tougher to blow off. Now with this hypersensitivity I'm getting during sex, I start thinking that maybe I should rub one out every now and then to off set the premature issue. Not yet. Gonna see what happens without that for now. The girlfriend has been a real sport during all this. I'm lucky to have received a second chance with her.

bob

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #35 on: August 10, 2015, 01:48:21 PM »
You are doing great L.T.D.
Get the desire to M often and P rarely makes a appearance in my thoughts. The P is easily dismissed by remembering the consequences. The M is getting tougher to blow off. Now with this hypersensitivity I'm getting during sex, I start thinking that maybe I should rub one out every now and then to off set the premature issue. Not yet. Gonna see what happens without that for now. The girlfriend has been a real sport during all this. I'm lucky to have received a second chance with her.

I am following your progress and I think your headed in the right direction. Keep up the good work!

Kurall_Creator

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #36 on: August 10, 2015, 02:18:42 PM »
The ED issue has improved dramatically but I'm finding that I'm being selfish in bed. This is unusual for me. I've always gone into sex thinking this is not about me. This is about her. But this week I've noticed the opposite. My sexual habits over the past years were completely selfish, I get that now.  So when it came to having actual sex it wasn't about me (mostly due to knowing I couldn't preform anyway). I always had my pmo to fall back on. Take the pmo away and I've become a selfish lover.

I know what you mean on the reboot thing, you just want to take her, and it's all about you. You can take some time with her first though. My girlfriend and I will spend time priming the hanger for the airplane, so to speak, and it really turns me on more to hear her squeal as I go to town with my nimble fingers.

And then the plane goes into the hanger. . .

L.T.D.

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #37 on: August 15, 2015, 08:06:45 AM »
3 weeks and no P.

Yesterday morning I M'd. Thought of nothing but the girlfriend and things we've already done. Then, just a couple hours later she sends me a text basically saying come over and take me. So my work day ended early. Initially every thing was great. I spent time attending to her.  Penetration (my weak spot) went fine. Had to take a break due to needing to catch my breath. The little soldier took a little break too.  A few mins later the fondling began again. The soldier woke up but he lost interest when it came time to penetrate again. Tried this 2-3 times and no dice. Pretty sure the M earlier was the culprit. Lesson learned.

Can't really complain tho. Been having sex almost daily for about 10 days, mostly without ED issues (some DE at times and some PE at others). This woman has really been a blessing in my life. Not for the sex but for the closeness, the intimacy, and the companionship. We have busy conflicting schedules today and meeting up probably won't happen until work tonight.

Home life has gone south again. This roommate continues to make my life a living Hell. She is straight up psycho. Continuing to steal and then ask me for favors. I work from home during the day and the Internet is a necessity. I pay my share every month. I was told a month ago by her bf, after the cable/internet got shut off and cost me about $1000 in lost income, "You need to get your own fucking Internet." So that's what I did. She then has the balls to ask me for the wifi password. Of course I say no. After a verbal war I leave the house and return to find the cable coming to the house is cut. Can't live like this much longer. Took off my doorknob and replaced it with a deadbolt. Which I lock every time I leave my room. And I now unplug the router when I leave the house. The only thing I ever did wrong with these people is catch her stealing. And I'm the bad guy. Looking for my own apartment now and will break the lease to live in a healthier environment. If I don't leave I'm afraid she'll get even nuttier. Like give herself a black eye and call the cops on me. Who needs that BS? I know this isn't pmo related but might as well put this on paper too.

hopeful

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #38 on: August 15, 2015, 03:54:26 PM »
L.T.D.,
good to hear you're making progress, and not indulge yourself into the safety of old habits.M.O,ing is, at least in our case, not a good idea.
For me MO will go to PMO very easily.
Sorry to hear that your home life is such a mess.One thing you really don't need right now.
Try to stay focussed.
Regards!

Bango Skank

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #39 on: August 15, 2015, 05:07:07 PM »
Just got through your story; you're really going through the wars mate. Good job on 3 weeks especially with all the other shit going on. Not surprised at all that ED has come back to haunt you, I expect most of us would be the same in your situation.

sodonewithit

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #40 on: August 15, 2015, 06:22:44 PM »
Hello LTD.  Just read this thread and nicely done witht he progress.  Yes the mo is a big issue which I had to lesrn the hard way also, we just can't allow it in our lives at all. Next decade, possibly but not this year....all the same way to go.  Inspired with this story.
My wife told me to be a participant not a voyeur, I think we should all do this.

Watched "Hot Girls Wanted", all us guys should.

L.T.D.

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #41 on: August 17, 2015, 10:09:44 PM »
Great day today! I celebrated gf's birthday by delivering flowers this morning, we had some bed fun, went to the beach (got sunburn), then took a nap together. Even dropped the "L" bomb for the first time. Been years since I've said that word. And she reciprocated. Awwwww!

sodonewithit

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #42 on: August 17, 2015, 11:01:57 PM »
Awwww, that's a good read.
My wife told me to be a participant not a voyeur, I think we should all do this.

Watched "Hot Girls Wanted", all us guys should.

L.T.D.

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #43 on: August 18, 2015, 10:32:55 PM »
Another great day. Spent the evening with gf. No sex. I'm not disappointed at all. We had a wonderful time. Took a walk down by the inlet and saw a spectacular sunset. Had a great dinner and we had laughed ourselves to tears in the restaurant. I had forgot what it feels like to be genuinely happy. I miss it.

L.T.D.

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #44 on: August 18, 2015, 10:38:27 PM »
Oh, one more thing. Today I finally deactivated my profiles on a few dating sites. I am truly committed to this woman.  I also noticed I was flipping thru profile pics to get a rush. No more! Gone!

L.T.D.

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #45 on: August 19, 2015, 10:32:01 PM »
Rough day today....really rough. No pmo as it is never an option. Not gonna share the details of this one but the gf said something to me that caused me to feel like my heart was ripped from my chest and stomped on. I probably took it wrong but what else could she have meant by it? Either way, I told her that I'm hurt but tomorrow is a new day. I'm a forgiving person and she apologized repeatedly. I just need to be pissed/hurt for a day or so. It's kinda funny, before my reboot started I would have brushed this off and felt nothing. It's a relief to feel (even pain) again...as strange as this sounds.

I really want to know what I did in a past life. I must have been Judas or Hitler.

sodonewithit

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #46 on: August 19, 2015, 11:36:26 PM »
That's a long line of guys thinking the same thing.  As you said tomorrow is another day.
My wife told me to be a participant not a voyeur, I think we should all do this.

Watched "Hot Girls Wanted", all us guys should.

Bango Skank

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #47 on: August 20, 2015, 01:20:36 AM »
Rough day today....really rough. No pmo as it is never an option. Not gonna share the details of this one but the gf said something to me that caused me to feel like my heart was ripped from my chest and stomped on. I probably took it wrong but what else could she have meant by it? Either way, I told her that I'm hurt but tomorrow is a new day. I'm a forgiving person and she apologized repeatedly. I just need to be pissed/hurt for a day or so. It's kinda funny, before my reboot started I would have brushed this off and felt nothing. It's a relief to feel (even pain) again...as strange as this sounds.

I really want to know what I did in a past life. I must have been Judas or Hitler.

I always thought Judas got a bad rap to be honest.

In terms of feeling pain, I can relate absolutely. I find myself becoming more emotional even in the last week or so, you've been rebooting for longer than me so I can only imagine. I'm not sure if it's an actual physical change, something to do with hormones, or just the new found sense of responsibility and mindfulness that comes with the territory of what we are all trying to do.

For example, we have had a social worker doing visits to our house recently because we are hoping to adopt a third child. Yesterday morning was the most recent appointment. Now we have been through this all before, but as I was explaining how I felt about previous experiences, I started to get a bit overcome and had to pause for a moment. She put a hand on my arm and said "it's okay", which as you can imagine did nothing to stem the emotions...  ::) All a bit embarrassing, really...!

It's only 8 days for me but already I notice so many changes happening and emotions/feelings are a big one.

Bloody hell I'm getting all teary just now... stay strong matey!

L.T.D.

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #48 on: August 20, 2015, 06:00:52 AM »
Bango, I know what you mean. I've cried more in the last month than I have in my previous 30 years combined. From sadness and happiness. Crazy stuff.

sodonewithit

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Re: New life begins
« Reply #49 on: August 20, 2015, 09:13:30 AM »
Don't forget that the first month has a huge withdrawal issue from the greatly reduced dopamine hit.  I now can laugh about crying in my laundry room during that first three weeks but at the time I was wondering where did my tough exterior go. 
My wife told me to be a participant not a voyeur, I think we should all do this.

Watched "Hot Girls Wanted", all us guys should.