Poll

What are the main 3 reasons why you want to get rid of your porn and/or masturbation addiction?

1. To get cured from ED (PE or DE)
2. To get rid of social anxiety
3. To gain more self-esteem
4. To get more motivation to move your ass and get a girlfriend or boyfriend
5. To have more time to do productive/useful things instead
6. To have more motivation/energy in general
7. To have a better attention span
8. To better deal with stress
9. To be able to get pleasure with simple things
10. To get morning woods back
11. To have a wet dream
12. To prove to yourself you can step up to the challenge
13. To break free from loneliness
14. To reach your full potential in life
15. other reasons

Author Topic: "I can control the Zero. F*ck the Zero"  (Read 56304 times)

fnatk

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Re: 30 days Challenge Finished => On the road to 60 days!
« Reply #25 on: June 10, 2014, 06:09:00 AM »
Stopping cold turkey isn't easy but you seem to be doing really well! I'm looking forward to hitting 30 days free of this crap, reading your progress has only motivated me more to do so, thanks for sharing :)

jnv

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Re: 30 days Challenge Finished => On the road to 60 days!
« Reply #26 on: June 10, 2014, 04:14:29 PM »
Hey there.
I started this day so well keeping myself busing and it worked pretty well until tonight. Damn, I wanted to read and it was impossible to focus more than 5min straight, got urge after urge after urge... the only way I found was to put a brand new movie in front of my elliptical bike (300 Rise of an Empire, it helped with my pacing) and runnnnnnn during 1h50! I'm now exhausted and no more urge haha, I can now say fock you urge and it feels great lol! Going to bed now

Keep up the good work and stay motivated fnatk, you can do it.
« Last Edit: June 23, 2014, 05:42:11 AM by jnv »


stangles

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Re: 30 days Challenge Finished => On the road to 60 days!
« Reply #27 on: June 11, 2014, 01:02:33 AM »
You se to be doing really well good stuff!

I think I might need to do more exercise to get rid of my urges too.

Your story is very similar to mine so it gives me some hope. I never got anywhere with girls for a long time despite not being bad looking. I also got in to the pick up scene a bit to help me. This helped me get my first girls when I also failed to get it up for them.

I know a lot of guys that are just not good with girls. I sometimes wonder if it is all because of porn or if it is a change in society.

jnv

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Re: 30 days Challenge Finished => On the road to 60 days!
« Reply #28 on: June 11, 2014, 04:01:48 PM »
I do think it is at least 80% due to porn. I can remember when I was in high school, I never got rejected from a girl simply because I NEVER ask one out during that time. Porn had such an influence in my behaviour towards girls that I was thinking something like "Why should I bother myself with all that seduction/flirt thing when I can binge to the most beautiful girls in the world?" and it lead me to the point where I just lost interest at all. And it would lower my self esteem SO MUCH that even when I felt/knew an attractive girl was attracted to me, I would do nothing about it and ignore her and some friends thought I was crazy. (and I really thought I was, believe me)

So Day 31:
Today was pretty easy because I think that the fact I was exhausted from yesterday long elliptic session kept me away from any urge. I'm starting to think that it might be a very conceivable option to help me deal with urges. At the moment, everytime (during my free time) I get and urge or I want to play video games, I go and do some physical activity and I'm good afterwards.


presson

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Re: 30 days Challenge Finished => On the road to 60 days!
« Reply #29 on: June 11, 2014, 04:03:13 PM »
Thirty days is impressive. Well done man! Keep it up!

jnv

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Re: 30 days Challenge Finished => On the road to 60 days!
« Reply #30 on: June 12, 2014, 09:07:15 AM »
Day 32
Thanks for support dude!

Damn, this week has been one of the most difficult since I started. Got some HUGE urges again today (it most of the time starts with triggers from tv, ads) and  the only way for me to calm down and overcome them was go and do some sport.


fnatk

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Re: 30 days Challenge Finished => On the road to 60 days...
« Reply #31 on: June 12, 2014, 10:12:54 AM »
Good job on overcoming the urges! Its hard as hell but once you're sort of free of them you think "Well that was silly, I don't NEED porn!". What kind of sport did you go do? Weather here has been a bit off so I didn't go out biking yet on my new bike but a friend came over for some help with her laptop so I had that to occupy my day with, otherwise I probably would've spent it alone at my computer.

Still, good to see you fighting the good fight, every day your counter goes up gives me motivation to see mine do the same!

jnv

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Re: 30 days Challenge Finished => On the road to 60 days...
« Reply #32 on: June 12, 2014, 03:56:36 PM »
Yes, it is very hard and it shows how much the long years of PMO  have f*cked my brain up because my urges aren't about M but about P. The urges are sometimes so strong that I'll need many more days to completely rewire it. But I do agree with you, it's really motivating seeing the progress bar advancing
As far as sport is concerned, it's a mix of elliptic bike, weight-lifting and bike outside depending on the day and on my mood.
« Last Edit: June 23, 2014, 05:41:45 AM by jnv »


jnv

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Re: 30 days Challenge Finished => On the road to 60 days...
« Reply #33 on: June 15, 2014, 06:08:22 AM »
Day 35:
Urge-wise, the last 3 days have been quite easy, I spent friday evening biking with a friend of mine for about 4h30 just enjoying sun while working on cardio. My legs have never been so exhausted and I think it's the reason why I'm not horny at all and it is easy controlling my light urges.

I noticed something strange during my sleep last night, I dreamt of me having sex with a random woman and that is something that hadn't occur for YEARS. It wasn't a porn related sex scene or whatever, just me having vanila sex with her. What is more surprising is that I could actually feel the sensations down there during the vaginal penetration which is something I have never been able to experience during real intercourses due to huge desensitisation. No wet dream though because I woke up quickly after it began.
« Last Edit: June 23, 2014, 05:41:51 AM by jnv »


Never_again

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Re: 30 days Challenge Finished => On the road to 60 days...
« Reply #34 on: June 15, 2014, 01:43:52 PM »
Congratulation on your 30 days challenge accomplishment!
It's very inspirational to read story like yours. I tried rebooting many times and never went above 10 days without PMO
What do you do to prevent yourself from PM when you feel urges? Do you have any tips to share?

And please, keep updating your journal, because even though you don't always get lots of answers from others members, it definitely helps to motivate people like me not to relapse.

Thanks and good luck for your 60 day challenge ;)

jnv

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Re: 30 days Challenge Finished => On the road to 60 days...
« Reply #35 on: June 15, 2014, 03:28:17 PM »
Hey there Never_again. Thanks for support.
Concerning my advice, I'd say that updating my journal helps me a lot keep on track. I make it mainly to keep the information I write down so I can return to it in the future just like a log which will help me when I face very hard days in the process (and I know there will be very hard days to come). In my opinion, you should try to update your own journal even for days when you have nothing particular to say, at least it puts you in a kind of routine which will help you keep on track.

As to fighting the urges, when I'm not at home, like many of us I don't have many urges. But when I'm at home during free times it's another story. (and I started a NoGaming challenge as well, day 22 today, so I need to fill that time properly as well). I first started doing things which helped keep my mind busy like reading, watching movies/series but it wasn't enough to keep urges at bay. I came to the conclusion that the only thing working for me was a physical activity.
At the moment, what I do are push-ups or crunches. I would do I serie of the maximum repetitions I can do. By maximum I mean that your last push-up repetition is when your face is on the floor and no matter how hard you want to push it one more time, your arms say "no". After that, I'm so exhausted that urges are usually gone. As you can see throughout my journal, sometimes during month 1, I still peeked a little at P even though I quickly stopped, so my strategy isn't perfect but I'm still trying to find out what works best and how to improve in that field.
Try to find out what works best with you.

edit: an other thing that indirectly helps me as well I guess is read other NoFappers' journals and take part in it, encouraging, giving advice, learning from others etc, I thing it's beneficial to everybody.
« Last Edit: June 23, 2014, 05:41:59 AM by jnv »


jnv

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Re: 30 days Challenge Finished => On the road to 60 days...
« Reply #36 on: June 17, 2014, 10:17:03 AM »
I had quite a horrible yet VERY interesting experience on Sunday night. Came back home from a party with friends, drank a bit but wasn't drunk at all (I was just in the mood). I don't remember what it was but came across some trigger and before I knew it I was peeking at P. When I realised what I was doing, 1 minute had maybe passed but I didn't even M (let alone O obviously). I then closed everything but I had a strange feeling, I could litterally "feel" in my brain the dopamine rush. Well I don't know if it was that but I can clearly say that I was "physically" feeling something great in my head. The sensation reminded me the times when let's say, you are playing football or tennis or whatever for a long time under a very hot sun and then you take a break and get an extra cold beer, coke etc. I do feel extreme pleasure at that moment, and I was feeling something less powerful but similar in term of sensation.

I have already read about the consequences of P on the brain and how it affects it on YBOP but for the first time I could actually experience it myself and it has definitely convinced myself than even peeking at it for like 2-3 mins only once every 2-3 weeks isn't even conceivable if even 1min of just a visual stimulus without M can have that effect on my body. That 1 minute of P broke the urge I had on the spot, and I'm talking about the urge after over 1 month of no O... I can now truly understand by myself how devastating P really is on the brain. My urges mostly come from my brain "willing" to see some visual stimuli rather than from a need from down there.

With that new experience, I think I'm going to enter a new phase in my reboot process.

-Phase 1 was from day 1 until last Sunday where I didn't MO but still peeked at P maybe 5-6 times in total (didn't reset because I knew that peeking P from time to time in the very beginning of the process was inevitable in my case since I was used to PMO 2-3 times/day, I first just wanted to reduce it drastically without O)

-Phase 2 started yesterday. I will try it 100% hardcore, MonkMode or whatever you call it from now on until I get laid (which isn't my primary goal at the moment, I just see it as part of my personal development challenge)

I think I'll need to educate myself about meditation etc because it will be hard and it could come in handy when difficult times occur. :/
« Last Edit: June 17, 2014, 11:00:01 AM by jnv »


newguyneedschange

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Re: 30 days Challenge Finished => On the road to 60 days...
« Reply #37 on: June 17, 2014, 10:22:17 AM »
I don't know how I haven't seen your forum before, but man your starting story is so easy to relate to. One of my biggest frustrations has been the loss of sensation when having sex. I thought maybe I had something wrong with me besides the PMO. Knowing that will come back really gives me some motivation that I was lacking. Thanks for sharing.

jnv

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Re: 30 days Challenge Finished => On the road to 60 days...
« Reply #38 on: June 18, 2014, 01:35:48 PM »
I really think that for most of guys our ages, the problem related to desensitisation is 50% in the head and 50% physical (and reversible) and I'm practically sure that quiting PMO can solve all of this as well as many other things. Getting our hands off our d*cks should add sensation over the time and staying away from Porn stimuli should bring back sensation for more normal and softer stuff. => more sensation overall.

Well, I won't know if it's really true until after I've finished my 90 days challenge and get laid but thanks to my new free time I read a lot of stuff related to how brain functions and I'm sure we can achieve great things by following simple (yet difficult to stick to) rules.
« Last Edit: June 19, 2014, 04:17:20 AM by jnv »


Anders

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Re: 30 days Challenge Finished => On the road to 60 days...
« Reply #39 on: June 19, 2014, 03:34:52 AM »
It makes sense. The exact same food tastes better when you are really hungry compared with when you are not - same food, same tastebuds, same chemicals, same brain.


"It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen."
Muhammad Ali

jnv

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Re: 30 days Challenge Finished => On the road to 60 days...
« Reply #40 on: June 21, 2014, 04:52:20 PM »
Day 41:

I've managed to stay away from my d*ck since last Monday and I thought about sex maybe once.

Today started pretty bad and even though motivation/energy level wasn't very high,I was unusually horny compared to the rest of the week. I still managed to do my 1h+ work out session  + studied languages after shower. After this quite productive morning, I was a bit bored since I hadn't planned anything particular. I decided to watch a movie I wasn't very into and then that scene triggered and urge. Before I realised it, I was googling what you know and peeked at Porn (well it was more than just peeking...) my attempts to just close the browser and leave failed, some time passed and I egded once. Some more time passed before I managed to redirect my mind from P to a journal from reddit/Nofap I saved (I've got some motivational journals saved I swore to read before I slip) and then I cut everything.

This day was horrible (probably has been the hardest one since I started my journal), I've never been so horny during the whole day and my workout/cold shower didn't calm me down at all. Hopeufully, reading the journal helped my refocus and I could redirect my energy => I took my bike and went for a long ride.

Stopping both PMO + my intense videogaming dependance seems to be a bit violent for my brain. Damn, thinking how I could have ruined my 40 day streak makes me feel really stupid and mad, I'm gonna go to bed to end this horrible day and hope tomorrow will be better!


fightthefight

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Re: 30 days Challenge Finished => On the road to 60 days...
« Reply #41 on: June 21, 2014, 06:00:32 PM »
Mate it sounds like you stopped just in time. Wish I had done the same today. Your idea of having motivational journals bookmarked seems like a good one - I will have to try that myself.

I have a question about the 30/60 day target - do you think it's been useful for you to have a closer target than an initial 90 day one? As in more achievable and therefore easier to fight for mentally? I'm beginning to think that I might be preventing myself from getting anywhere by setting the ambitious 90 day target from the off, rather than working to it by setting more manageable ones first. When I got to the 2 week mark, 90 days didn't seem too bad but I've relapsed twice since then and 90 days seems to be getting further and further into the future!

jnv

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Re: 30 days Challenge Finished => On the road to 60 days...
« Reply #42 on: June 22, 2014, 03:11:39 AM »
Day 42:

Today was far better. It was a day off and I kept myself very busy, I started with my workout and it was a very intensive session, was completely exhausted then I went to do some work in the garden for 4 hours then cold shower. Some acquaintance told me I was in great "V body" shape so my intensive workouts are starting to pay off, that's encouraging and very motivating!


@fightthefight: Yes it seems like it, really yesterday was the first day since the beginning I really felt I could lose all of that I've achieve. Well in practive, I wouldn't have lost everything since I learned from it.For example I know how to counter it better in the future, I know I got some gains during those 40 days and I will adapt/improve some tactic to fight better.

I read this on reddit some days ago:"Rebooting isn't a line-shapped progress bar but a roller-coaster-shapped one with very high and very low..." I think what I experienced yesterday was a very low...nothing more.

To answer your question, in my case I find it easier to set smaller and then easier goals that I can achieve faster and then push back. I started with 7 days challenge, then 30 days, etc...
This is only psychological but in my mind I already saw my progression bar full of green at 100% and I think that it helped me a little yesterday because I didn't want to lose it all. It depends on the approach you have but starting with an initial 90 days challenge would be quite depressing for me since I wouldn't see much of a difference between 20/90 and 30/90 on the progression bar whereas 20/30 and 30/30 seems more rewarding and encouraging. After all, what is 90? Nothing more than a random number just like 7 or 120. Nothing special will happen to me on day 90 and I won't suddenly feel extra powerful right after completing this challenge I guess, so why no set smaller numbers. This approach might work with you too.
« Last Edit: June 23, 2014, 05:41:32 AM by jnv »


jnv

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Re: 30 days Challenge Finished => On the road to 60 days...
« Reply #43 on: June 25, 2014, 02:55:33 PM »
Day 45:

I PMO'd today. I spent last night with friends partying all night, I came back home drunk and managed not to watch P but today I just couldn't keep myself focused on other things and I ended peeking at P. I managed to stop and keep P at bay for a moment but then was realised that the P peeking from the last few weeks was just a ticking bomb that would eventually explode to my face. So I went back and intentionally PMO to release all the tension/frustration accumulated during previous P peek and decided to make a fresh and clean start.

So I'm going to start my second reboot attemp right now but doing it monk-style right from the beginning.

What I've realised/gained during those 45 days:
- Very little confidence boost (I noticed a little improvement when talking to strangers, apart from that, not much changed)
- I completely stopped my other big addiction (I'm on day 31 today) cold turkey which was Video Gaming (even a bigger addiction than PMO since I could play 10+ h during days off) and the best thing about that is that during those 31 days, not a SINGLE time did I feel the need or the will to play. I just do not think about videogames at all.
- When friends ask me to go out I accept 95% of the time (I used to refure because of laziness)
- I am exactly at day 45 in my workout program and I still stick to it (mostly thanks to all the free time gained from no PMO+playing)
- I read more


To sum up, I think it was too difficult for me fight fight both my addictions at the same time and one of them was meant to make me give in and it was PMO. I'm now better educated on the topic than 43 days ago and better armed now so I hope this second attemp will be as successful.

Okay, so no peek at P at all for Round 2!
« Last Edit: June 25, 2014, 03:50:14 PM by jnv »


fightthefight

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Re: Round 2!
« Reply #44 on: June 25, 2014, 03:55:44 PM »
Sad to hear about that mate. It is hard when you look at bits and keep testing the boundaries and then it builds up and up. It's definitely not back to square one for you though - 45 days is a good time to go (I'm looking forward to reaching that far). It is about constantly learning more and more that it has nothing to offer but will steal away a lot of things. The workouts sound great by the way!

jnv

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Re: Round 2!
« Reply #45 on: June 25, 2014, 04:21:33 PM »
Yes, that's just like you said, I'm not back to square one and I must stay motivated. Of course I'm a bit disappointed but I think I'll be much more proud of me when I get back to day 45 but with a cleaner streak.
I modified my progress bar so I reset it at the first time I'll peek!
Indeed, the workout gain is very important. I'd decided countless times to start some workout plans but never managed to stick to it for more than 1 month mainly due to videogames leading to laziness.


jnv

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Re: Round 2!
« Reply #46 on: June 30, 2014, 04:49:08 PM »
Day 5:
Went camping with some friends at a music festival for the last 3 days. Even though I thought I'd be horny as fuck after seeing that many girls dressed as if we were on the beach (around 150k people at the festival and it was sunny...) I'm doing well now at keeping my mind busy on other things. Let's hope I'll stay that focused in the next days.
« Last Edit: June 30, 2014, 06:45:40 PM by jnv »


jnv

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Re: Round 2!
« Reply #47 on: July 02, 2014, 01:57:49 PM »
Day 7:

First week in hardcore mode complete! It was quite easy up until now. Everytime I get some urges I just slap myself to get back on track and focus on something else, it really helps as for now.
I'm trying to mainly work on social interactions (I try not to refuse anymore when friends ask me to go out) so I can beat/reduce the social anxiety. I think it's the main thing I'm gonna work on during this reboot and I can feel it already starts to pay off since I'm documenting myself at the moment reading much self development stuff. Was supporting my country for the World Cup in a pub yesterday with a bunch of friends and was enjoying every moment of it which wasn't necessarily the case in the past.


fnatk

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Re: Round 2!
« Reply #48 on: July 02, 2014, 03:44:26 PM »
Hey jnv! Really nice to see that you didn't let your little relapse get you down. I was pretty depressed for a week or so about it but I got my shit together and started over again. I'm going for a bit more hardcore mode myself, (I'll still play videogames!) I've decided to read a book every night before going to bed, I even turn my computer off completely :P

I'm going to be following in your footsteps so everytime you hit a new week of no PMO I'll be just a few days behind! Reading your journal here really helps and inspires me :)

jnv

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Re: Round 2!
« Reply #49 on: July 03, 2014, 02:22:17 AM »
Hey fnatk, glad to see you are back on track after your relapse as well and indeed, it seems you'll be following in my footsteps.
As to videogames, I prefered to definitely stop because I just couldn't do it "just a little", I used to play to Dark Age of Camelot and I could spend to whole day doing PvP on it during days off. Moderation and videogames just don't together in my case and I now try to spend the free time at home watching movies/series instead. btw, day 34 NoPlay at the moment! :p
This is my second reboot attempt and I can already feel that I'm much better armed and prepared to keep fighting.

We will make it!!
« Last Edit: July 03, 2014, 05:08:14 AM by jnv »