Author Topic: My goal is 1/364 (45 old)  (Read 711 times)

AlexZ

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My goal is 1/364 (45 old)
« on: September 17, 2018, 10:08:25 AM »
Hi everybody!
I'm 45 years old man and I'm a porn addicted since I found speed internet. It's lasting about two decades.
I'm from Russia and there we don't have the same opportunity like that. I mean to get support from people who completely understands you. So, I'm here)
I have a family. And now I get married second time. My daughter is 20 now and my son is just five month old. My second wife is amazing and it's easy for me to talk with her about my main problem. She supports me but unfortunately, she has a sweet disposition and she can't say, for instance, Alex, why you are sitting with your laptop so long? What are you watching? So, I'd like to find more support to quit the porn. It's one more reason, why I'm here.
My biggest achievement was last year and I kept away from porn more then 80 days! It was awesome! Then I relapsed again. Since then I have never beaten my record and never stayed away more then 20 days. I can feel how porno is destroying me. I become aggressive with people who is vital for me. I fell shame, guilty and after every time edging I have strong depression for a couple of next days. And of course, I'm loosing an interest for real sex with my wife.
Today I decided start my 365 days without porn. I must do it and I've strong feeling that I can.
I must do it for my family and myself.
I'll continue my day book and tell you guys about my victories and defeats.
Thank you for reading me!
Good luck all and I wish you power, courage and will to get trough our problem.

Alex  :) :) :)
« Last Edit: September 17, 2018, 05:34:53 PM by AlexZ »
It's better to be dead and cool then alive and uncool.

newstart

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Re: My goal is 1/364 (45 old)
« Reply #1 on: September 17, 2018, 03:00:43 PM »
AlexZ - welcome to the group.  You are working for the right reasons to stay porn free.  I wish you the best of luck in your goal.  Read what you can from YBOP.  It is very interesting on what is going on with your brain and this addiction.

Thank you for the encouraging words on my journal.  Keep fighting all day - one day at a time.
In need of freedom from this $#!T called porn.  Why do I want it so much?!?!

uncreatedlight

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Re: My goal is 1/364 (45 old)
« Reply #2 on: September 17, 2018, 04:14:43 PM »
Welcome home, Alex.  In my own personal experience, sexual frustration can definitely factor into mood swings and anger.  Porn exacerbates those feelings of frustration because real life can never live up to the mirage on your computer screen.

You can get free.  You can do this.  You are so lucky to have a loving, supportive partner.  I urge you to be honest with her as much as possible and use this as an opportunity to get close to her.

Keep journaling and start a mindfulness practice if you haven't already.  This is my favorite practice for handling urges:  https://yourbrainonporn.com/simple-and-powerful-tool-yale-professor-judson-brewer-recommends-skilfully-handling-our-urges  Allow yourself to feel them.  Be curious about them.  Eventually, they will subside on their own.

Spend time socializing with other people and exercise often if you can.  I never have urges doing either of those things.  Good luck!

AlexZ

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Re: My goal is 1/364 (45 old)
« Reply #3 on: September 17, 2018, 07:20:53 PM »
Thank you for your support and your hospitality! I appreciate it!

Thank you for RAIN! To be honest, I red YBOP last year and it pushed me so much to said stop porno. I could be without it more then 80 days.
Now, as a addition boost, I'm reading and listening to your channel on youtube, forum here and on reddit.

Hope we all can!



It's better to be dead and cool then alive and uncool.

Reformed Fapper

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Re: My goal is 1/364 (45 old)
« Reply #4 on: September 17, 2018, 08:51:28 PM »
Hi Alex, first of all its great that you have joined this forum! Youll get all the help you need here, just stick to it and youll be cured.
learn about your triggers and the situations that have led you to fap in the past.
With your motivation invested in your family and wife, you have the best weapons in this fight. Im sure your wife will notice a positive change in you as you progress in your reboot (and Im sure she will love it when you can passionately slam her again!), also those around you will see that you have become a new, and sexier, man.
Keep posting on here and getting as much advice as you can!
Un-fuck your life, quit porn now! Today!

AlexZ

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Re: My goal is 1/364 (45 old)
« Reply #5 on: September 19, 2018, 12:01:05 PM »
Hi Alex, first of all its great that you have joined this forum! Youll get all the help you need here, just stick to it and youll be cured.
learn about your triggers and the situations that have led you to fap in the past.
With your motivation invested in your family and wife, you have the best weapons in this fight. Im sure your wife will notice a positive change in you as you progress in your reboot (and Im sure she will love it when you can passionately slam her again!), also those around you will see that you have become a new, and sexier, man.
Keep posting on here and getting as much advice as you can!
Thank a lot for your support man!
It's my 3/362 day. I'm completely aware and ready for long-term fight!
With you guys I can. We can)
It's better to be dead and cool then alive and uncool.

uncreatedlight

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Re: My goal is 1/364 (45 old)
« Reply #6 on: September 19, 2018, 01:25:36 PM »
These first few weeks are going to be intense.  Day 3 is great.  Keep going. :)

AlexZ

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Re: My goal is 1/364 (45 old)
« Reply #7 on: September 20, 2018, 06:13:46 PM »
These first few weeks are going to be intense.  Day 3 is great.  Keep going. :)

Thank you! It's day 4 without PMO! I haven't had a lot of cravings since I decided to stop. But I know they are almost here. With you guys I'm ready!

 
It's better to be dead and cool then alive and uncool.

Reformed Fapper

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Re: My goal is 1/364 (45 old)
« Reply #8 on: September 20, 2018, 09:01:12 PM »
Excellent! This is a bastard, and four days is NOT a short time! nice effort
Have you experienced any good effects of the reboot yet?
Un-fuck your life, quit porn now! Today!

dlansky

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Re: My goal is 1/364 (45 old)
« Reply #9 on: September 20, 2018, 10:16:51 PM »
Congrats on four days. Sounds like you have a good grasp on what poem is really costing you in terms of the quality of your life.
Back again to make a lifelong change.

Inner_Light

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Re: My goal is 1/364 (45 old)
« Reply #10 on: September 22, 2018, 08:03:14 AM »
Congrats on 4 days! 

As I've written in my journal here, I've failed many times and started again, and one of those times will be the times I become permanently free.  It can be this time, if I just keep doing it one day at a time.

It's good to have a goal of number of days.  I have a goal of one year, like you.  However, my actual goal is not the number of days but freedom, and in fact I can achieve that goal every day.  In a way, many of us on this forum get it backwards: the number of days we abstain is not the actual achievement; freedom is the achievement, and we have the opportunity to be free (which is NOT absence of urges but the absence of acting on them) every day, and we increase that opportunity through the means of daily repetition.
"You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be." -James Stockdale.

AlexZ

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Re: My goal is 1/364 (45 old)
« Reply #11 on: September 25, 2018, 06:39:38 AM »
Hey everybody!
It's 9th day. 8 days are out and I'm still clean! Thank you guys for your words and advices!
Personally for Inner_Light, thanks for great advice. I absolutely agree with you, the main goal is freedom not number of days.
I'm so glad to be part of your community.
It's better to be dead and cool then alive and uncool.

dlansky

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Re: My goal is 1/364 (45 old)
« Reply #12 on: September 25, 2018, 11:53:34 AM »
Great job, AlexZ!
Back again to make a lifelong change.

Inner_Light

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Re: My goal is 1/364 (45 old)
« Reply #13 on: September 26, 2018, 07:57:37 PM »
Great work on a 9th day, AlexZ! One at at time....
"You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be." -James Stockdale.

bob

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Re: My goal is 1/364 (45 old)
« Reply #14 on: September 26, 2018, 09:46:27 PM »
More power to you as you move towards your goal of being porn free.

Peace

AlexZ

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Re: My goal is 1/364 (45 old)
« Reply #15 on: September 27, 2018, 12:36:59 PM »
Hey guys! Thanks a lot! :) :) :) :)
It's better to be dead and cool then alive and uncool.