Author Topic: Yes I Can!  (Read 97911 times)

Jaystock

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #375 on: August 15, 2016, 04:08:49 PM »
Good job bob. There's no stopping you now.

Oneway

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #376 on: August 16, 2016, 01:46:41 PM »
You're going great bob. 47 days. You have now beaten my life time record with one day. I am happy for you.

bob

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #377 on: August 16, 2016, 02:59:45 PM »
Thanks Geo, Jaystock, and Oneway.

As always your thoughts and comments are greatly appreciated.

Peace

bob

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #378 on: August 16, 2016, 03:10:35 PM »
I wanted to post this so I could locate it when I needed. These are great reads if you haven't read them before.


William - "Hello Gentlemen, Now we begin"
http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=1256.0

Leon - The End of All Flesh
http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=2605.msg25028#msg25028

Peace

bob

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #379 on: August 17, 2016, 02:41:37 PM »
Always wondered what would happen if i was to find a hidden stash of porn...

Well, today was the day. I did a quick search for a folder name I use to use, not expecting anything but checking to make sure my computer was clean. It came up and when I determined it was actually porn, I quickly deleted it. Had a twinge of "I wonder..." but didn't give the time to even be questioned.

Found it. Trashed it. Glad to know it's gone.

Could have been a scary encounter.

Peace
« Last Edit: August 17, 2016, 03:16:38 PM by bob »

hopeful

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #380 on: August 17, 2016, 03:17:00 PM »
proud of you Bob,
doesn't it get easier to say no ? I'm sure it does. Another small victory. Small steps but you'll get there.
Good luck !

Geo62

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #381 on: August 17, 2016, 03:56:57 PM »
Hey there bob. Nice one! You're well on your way to a clean brain and clean computer!!!  ;D

bob

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #382 on: August 17, 2016, 04:03:05 PM »
Geo,

My computer is now spotless.

Still scrubbing on my brain. Might take a but more time or a bit more soap.  ;D

Chip

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #383 on: August 18, 2016, 08:07:13 AM »
Try kerosene, works wonders. ;D

bob

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #384 on: August 18, 2016, 09:11:35 AM »
 ;)

Jaystock

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #385 on: August 18, 2016, 09:42:43 AM »
Good job on trashing the porn. I've done that before. It's hard to do. It's like getting rid of an old friend you've had for years.    Stay strong bob.

bob

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #386 on: August 18, 2016, 11:51:55 AM »
Jaystock,

Your doing well yourself. If we both keep this up we will both be able to make it!

When I first did the search, I didn't think I would find anything. I was sure my machine didn't have anything on it. Then it popped up. Pulse, and blood pressure spiked. I got rid of it as fast as I could.

Peace

bob

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #387 on: August 18, 2016, 12:46:39 PM »
I have something that I would like to share...

Past few weeks I have felt like I have made great progress, feeling no particularly pull from porn. But porn hasn't been my only issue. I have visited a good number of Adult Bookstores (ABS) and other public places where getting off is the main intent. Those places seemed to have a bigger draw for me then just porn. The plan for the visit, pulling into the parking lot, blood pumping, mouth dry... its all a huge dopamine rush.

I know this behavior isn't smart or safe. I know this in my heart.  But in the past, the pull has been so strong.

About two weeks ago I passed by one of these places during a trip with my wife. No problem. What am I going to do, stop the car and say, "hone, I will be right back?" I felt the pull but I passed right by. Then, I learned that I might have to take that same trip by myself. I would have passed by that same ABS. As soon as thought about it my brain started feel the pull.

I got on RN and sent out a couple of PM to my friends describing my thoughts and frustrations. Their combined responses were enlightening.  One comment was,


"The road to recovery is a hard one, and I assure you I have no judgement, but for your recovery you must find a way to kindly and gently stop it. There is no more or less shame in what you are doing vs porn. It's the dopamine rush."


Another friend had these comments,

"...we're always in control. Even if in the moment we got caught up in obsessive thoughts, and started to act them out, we can still disrupt it, snap out of it, and breathe through it back to normalcy... There's no force that can take you, even if it's your lower brain with its animistic tendencies, nothing can take you and force you to do anything."

It is at this point that I realized it is all the same. ABS, prostitutes, or internet hook-ups; one isn't irresistible over the others. Any activity (like these) are our lower brains screaming for dopamine. We can change. We can be who we want to be. We do not have to follow dopamine call for that temporary and fleeting reward.

"It's just a building of people PMO'ing their heads off, ruining their lives, trying to fill the vacuum with empty cotton candy- that tastes sweet in the moment, but quickly dissipates and leaves only cavities and bad memories... Practice this: whenever you see one (ABS), or drive by one- simply acknowledge that it's there. Don't avert your eyes, but neither look at it favorably either. Don't judge it, don't judge yourself. See it disinterestedly, as if you were watching a play. Stay in the moment, breathe deeper and stay calm and centered. Soon, you'll see that it's just a building, and it's evil will lose it's spell over you.

It is at this point that I realized it is all the same. ABS, prostitutes, or internet hook-ups; one isn't irresistible over the others. Any activity (like these) are our lower brains screaming for dopamine. We can change. We can be who we want to be. We do not have to follow dopamine call for that temporary and fleeting reward. One vice doesn't have the power to make us do anything we don't want to do. None of it has any power.

I am my own person and its all the same; something I am going to leave behind.

Peace

Geo62

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #388 on: August 18, 2016, 01:07:08 PM »
Hey my friend. Yea, you are my friend from another mother from another continent!

You're a brave man and a warrior. As I've stated in my journal before, some guys here have come with a porn addiction, others have come with a porn addiction and some extra baggage.

I salute you and I congratulate you. ABS is great on a car, and kak in your life. Kak is now MY official word here, go read my post for the definition. Spell check and I are having a big fight over this word!

When we wire wrong we open the doors to a hole bunch of weird and it feels so damn good at the time. But deep down inside wo know it doesn't not feel good at all.

Take care. You're a champ!!!

Chip

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #389 on: August 18, 2016, 03:00:55 PM »
Thanks for sharing that and your right it's not all specifically porn, many things can trigger dopamine release. I'm proud of you that you recognized the issue and have found a way to deal with it. That's awesome.

Chip

camus

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    PORN IS NO LONGER AN OPTION...EVER.
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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #390 on: August 19, 2016, 01:06:29 AM »
Thanks for sharing this post Bob. So true.

When I put down the porn, I start contemplating the personals in Craig's List or visiting a prostitute. It is all the same.

Peace and strength to you my friend.

Chip

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #391 on: August 20, 2016, 09:12:26 AM »
Congrats on 50, you're over the hump! 8)

bob

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #392 on: August 20, 2016, 12:42:43 PM »
Thanks Chip,

It feels good. Always nice to hear from you.

I beginning planning for the post 90; what I can put in place when I don't think about counting the days. Have some ideas that I will post latter on.

Peace

bob

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #393 on: August 23, 2016, 05:46:42 PM »
Hey folks,

Moving on past 50 days. Not much to describe but just plugging along.

Peace

RuntoSpirit

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #394 on: August 24, 2016, 02:12:35 AM »
Hi Bob,

It is great when you have confidence that you can keep going and not give in to this thing.   I am not suggesting a false bravado, but there is definitely an assurance that we can have that as we maintain our vigilance we need not fear this thing at all.
Happy 50 days to you.

notgivinup

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #395 on: August 24, 2016, 12:55:01 PM »
Hey Bob...thanks for continuing to check in.
I'm still here and still on the move away from pmo.

I hope you are doing well.

Thanks.

NGU

L.T.D.

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #396 on: August 25, 2016, 02:21:44 PM »
Nice Job Bob! I'm back on here. Been gone a year. Good to see some familiar names.

bob

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #397 on: August 26, 2016, 11:17:03 PM »
Oreos.

I really like them.

If I buy them, I eat them. I can plan on having just one. It never happens. If I eat one, I eat them all. I usually finish the whole package. Then my family come in the kitchen and asks, “hey, where are the Oreos?”

The shame is pretty intense.

Oreos are not worth it.

I need to stay away from them. If I see them in the store, I should understand they are on the shelf but I should just walk on by. If I don’t buy them, I don’t eat them. If I don’t eat them, I don’t miss them. I feel better when I don’t eat them. I am surviving without Oreos. Some people can buy them. Some people can eat just one. That’s not me. I need to stay away from them. I know they are available, but I need to just pass on by. I am better off without Oreos.

I guess Porn is just like Oreos.

« Last Edit: August 28, 2016, 02:14:57 PM by bob »

Delerium

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #398 on: August 26, 2016, 11:31:02 PM »
Congrats on passing 50 Bob!!  :)

bob

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Re: Yes I Can!
« Reply #399 on: August 28, 2016, 03:37:21 PM »
Working on the computer,,, Needed to understand how to run things from a command line so i googled it. One of the searches was a youtube video.

BOOM


On the list of suggested videos were potential p-subs. Blood pressure spiked. Heart rate jumped. I looked over to suggested videos and there were others. All "doors to the other side." 

I looked away.

Almost to 60 days and the pull still comes on quick and strong. Just have to make sure I don't eat that first cookie.

« Last Edit: August 28, 2016, 04:21:34 PM by bob »