Author Topic: I want to live  (Read 29287 times)

hextonix

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I want to live
« on: June 16, 2015, 07:17:01 PM »
I'm 18 years old turning 19 in July, and I feel like I've haven't lived a day in my life.  I started watching porn when I was around 12 like a lot of people.  It seems like every time I try to break free I somehow convince myself that it's not a big deal or it's not that wrong.  I told myself last year when i turned 18 that I would quit, but I still haven't.  I'm afraid I'm gonna have this for the rest of my life, and I don't know what to do.  If anyone has any ideas of how to get started or just support I'd greatly appreciate it because I feel like complete shit right now.  thx

Stretchcomic

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #1 on: June 17, 2015, 02:07:24 AM »
Hey man, welcome to the Nation! My best advice would to fill that time that PMO took up with something beneficial. I've been even more of a workout nut since I started, it releases natural endorphins for a feeling of success on top of killing energy that might be used elsewhere! You could spend it learning an instrument, writing poetry, what have you.

My other recommendation is to prioritize. I stopped because this crap gave me PIED at age 19, and I decided I didn't want to be selfish anymore so I could be with my gf. If you don't have one right now, this'll make you feel better for when you do, guaranteed. Staying mentally strong is going to be one of the hardest things you ever do, but is 100% doable.

The first 2 weeks are usually the most difficult with the most urges and anxiety, but will get easier with time if you stay driven. Although there will be highs and lows, especially the "flatline" to deal with. Theres much more info on yourbrainonporn.com though.

Hope this helps! Feel free to PM me for any more advice bro!
-SC

hextonix

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #2 on: June 17, 2015, 10:58:48 PM »
Thx man I really appreciate it!  I actually just joined a gym, and am currently going every night, and it seems to be working.  I haven't really had any serious urges.  Thx for the support!

DanteKO

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #3 on: June 17, 2015, 11:27:31 PM »
I would suggest laying a strong foundation in order to go through with your reboot. This means you need to understand how addiction works at least a little bit, and how you are going to live during and after your reboot.

The most important thing is to establish a different lifestyle altogether from when you were stuck on porn. If you just quit without any insight as to what happens after you might just switch your addiction from porn to something just as bad. Although I can't fully describe it to you myself with an advanced level of depth, I can give you some of these links to get started.


Great guides on starting your reboot by William (RebootNation member), lyon3 (RebootNation member) and Gabe Deem (Creator of RebootNation):
http://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/get-educated-get-tools-and-learn-to-love-withdrawals.2402/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGGxXHBVDYU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0dDLWGMhUo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4yx4ouxGbQ

For understanding how addiction works:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGGxXHBVDYU

Withdrawal symptoms (YBOP):
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/what-does-withdrawal-from-porn-look-like

Other:
http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=5734.msg86535#msg86535
http://yourbrainonporn.com/what-about-fantasizing-during-reboot

Hope this helps you, full credit to the authors of these articles.

hextonix

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #4 on: June 18, 2015, 11:27:14 PM »
Thx man!  I really appreciate that'll help alot.  I'll defly have to check all those links out.

hextonix

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #5 on: June 21, 2015, 03:04:51 PM »
I fucked up...again.  My problem is I don't know how to stay motivated.  I use to watch videos about why porn is bad and how it's harmful and that  kept me motivated, but I've watched all those videos, and now I'm just lost.  Does anybody know of a good youtube channel that has alot of good info about why porn is wrong.  I've already watched all of the ted talks videos, Gabe's videos, sacred sexuality's videos, and no faps videos.  I really need a new channel that has good interesting content so I can stay motivated or I need just another way to stay motivated.  If anyone has any ideas I'd really appreciate it.

Stretchcomic

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #6 on: June 21, 2015, 07:30:53 PM »
Hey bud, first of all, keep that head up. For me, the videos were very helpful for the first week but a lot of this is going to be your actions that'll separate you from this shit. Something that really helped me was coming on this website when I had urges. You can read the Success Stories, which help motivate me towards what I want to be. Or honestly something that helps me is reading the posts people write after they relapse, you'll notice they're never happy about it and that they want to get better, which reminds me of where I don't want to be. Just gotta pick those priorities, bud.

And theres 3 good videos on NoFap Academy.

-SC

DanteKO

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #7 on: June 21, 2015, 10:30:51 PM »
I fucked up...again.  My problem is I don't know how to stay motivated.  I use to watch videos about why porn is bad and how it's harmful and that  kept me motivated, but I've watched all those videos, and now I'm just lost.  Does anybody know of a good youtube channel that has alot of good info about why porn is wrong.  I've already watched all of the ted talks videos, Gabe's videos, sacred sexuality's videos, and no faps videos.  I really need a new channel that has good interesting content so I can stay motivated or I need just another way to stay motivated.  If anyone has any ideas I'd really appreciate it.
Hey man, the first thing I would do is what Stretchcomic said which is to keep your head up. This isn't a failure, it's only a learning experience so you can make sure that you don't relapse next time.
The next thing I would do is to fill your life with more positive activities or F.A.P. (Fun, Active, Productive) activities that serve to replace the void that your porn use filled.
Basically you should be focused on making your life more fulfilling and interesting rather than ONLY watching videos and success stories. This is so important because you may be 150 days PMO-free
but if you were doing the same things that you were doing before your reboot then you will most likely relapse again because you haven't grown at all from the time you were dependent on porn.
Practice making good decisions, especially the ones that you don't like but you know are important and healthy. Do the shit you don't want to do, and eventually you will want to do it.
There's a quote from the NoFap emergency app that reads: "Suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret". It's a type of mentality I have been trying to learn to follow ever since I made the decision to reboot.
If things are hard now then that should give you all the more drive to keep working. Suffering is a hidden blessing.

Good luck with your reboot!

Recovery101

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #8 on: June 22, 2015, 01:16:43 AM »
Hey man

I agree with these guys here. Don't let the relapses get you down or else you're only causing .ore harm to yourself.. trust me I know. It's not wrong to fall, but it's wrong to not get back up.

I suggest you go to Stretchcomic's journal. There is a link he posted. Click on it and read it. It really helps man, especially when your at your lowest point. Make a list or a letter about what you want to acomplish in this reboot. I suggest you take your time thinking about this because this is you your talking about. You need to make sure that it's everything you want. You can check out my journal if you don't know how to start it. Good luck man. We're all with you. And feel free to PM me if you have questions or need any advice :)

-Rec101

hextonix

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #9 on: June 22, 2015, 08:51:59 PM »
Thx guys I really appreciate all the support, I'm slowly starting to get back up, and I'm realizing if I don't want to suffer from this for the rest of my life I need to start fixing it now.  Thx again guys!

hextonix

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #10 on: June 22, 2015, 09:32:14 PM »
So you guys really inspired me to really get started on this, and beat this addiction, so I've been working on a few things.  First I came up with a personal quote for myself.  It's not the best, but it's good for me because it reminds me exactly why I'm doing this.  You're more than the addiction that tries to define you - Hex.

I also decided to finally make a clear schedule for the gym so when I go I'm not just doing whatever, make a list of things I can do besides pmo, and lastly I've decided to actually write down why I want to quit pmo, and how leaving this addiction in the past will benefit me.

Recovery101

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #11 on: June 22, 2015, 11:33:33 PM »
Good for you man! Glad I could (hopefully I did, if not then this would be awkward) inspire you ;) Your personal Quote is awesome! Everyone needs a saying that can motivate others. You got this man. We are all here to support you. Keep going and never look back.
-Rec101

Stretchcomic

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #12 on: June 22, 2015, 11:48:28 PM »
I agree with Rec101 man! Its great you got that system going! And i'm a pretty big gym freak myself so if you need exercise advice or workout suggestions hit me up!

-SC

hextonix

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #13 on: June 27, 2015, 12:01:49 AM »
omfg, I had this urge all fucking day, and it wouldn't fuckin go away.  I tried going to the gym, watching tv, eating dinner, but nothing worked.  Finally I just gave in.  So fuckin pissed at myself , I can't even make one week so pathetic.  And I feel exactly like I knew I would depressed, angry, and frustrated.  God I hate urges so much.  ugh guess I gotta reset my counter.

DanteKO

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #14 on: June 27, 2015, 01:24:37 AM »
omfg, I had this urge all fucking day, and it wouldn't fuckin go away.  I tried going to the gym, watching tv, eating dinner, but nothing worked.  Finally I just gave in.  So fuckin pissed at myself , I can't even make one week so pathetic.  And I feel exactly like I knew I would depressed, angry, and frustrated.  God I hate urges so much.  ugh guess I gotta reset my counter.
Don't get too frustrated! Remember that you are resisting to act on one of your body's most PRIMAL urges. This isn't easy and it never will be.
You need to keep going to the gym and you need to keep yourself occupied with productive activities because these will serve as important substitutes to porn.
Go for a bike ride, drink some chamomile/green/black/ tea, talk to a friend, get schoolwork done that you don't want to do even if it's for 5 minutes, go read NoFap success stories,
go watch some of Reboot Nation's videos, go watch some of Noah Church's videos, go watch some of Clasik Oba's videos, go watch some of Black White Guy in America's videos,
go watch some of Unconventional Living's videos, work on a hobby of yours if any, eat healthy, and just do anything that isn't PMO.
If your problem isn't a "what should I do" problem and more of a "why should I do" problem, then find your true number 1 motivator.
I'm talking about something that you will cling on to in order to resist the urge to jack off even if your hand is in your pants.
For me it's because porn isn't good for me and I want to be more sex-positive with my female partners. I also just want to get out of this rut that I've been in for 2 years.
After 9 to 10 days I've felt much more anxious and I have brain fog but I can say with pleasure that I obtained superpowers and my drive is back which motivates me even more to go through with 3 months of no PMO cold turkey.
Before you keep getting at it, just think everything through and get to action. Experience NoFap and make the best of it.
You have one life, and I hope you'd rather suffer endlessly in order to overcome this addiction and end your enslavement to urges.

hextonix

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #15 on: June 27, 2015, 09:45:16 AM »
Thx man I appreciate the support that helps alot!

Stretchcomic

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #16 on: June 27, 2015, 10:31:21 AM »
Hey bud, don't be too hard on yourself. Remember this feeling so you never have to go through it again! Its in your hands to make this the last time you ever relapse.

As far as fighting urges goes, I recommend two things: work out harder and take cold showers. Honestly, when I started rebooting, the first 2 weeks had the worst urges BY FAR, so I had to take drastic measures to get it done. I would recommend going to buy some pre-workout (I use C4) and stay at the gym until you physically can't anymore. Do every exercise in the gym that pertains to the body part you are training that day. When I got home afterwards, I was so proud and exhausted by the work that I put in that I just tossed my phone/computer in my room and chilled on the living room couch to recover!

The other thing I do is a cold shower. Doesn't matter the time of day, it sucks at first but you get used to it and it makes you have almost no urges and wakes you up! TONS of health benefits from it too! Good luck man!

-SC

hextonix

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #17 on: June 29, 2015, 02:47:32 PM »
Thx man I'm defly gonna consider everything, and I'm looking in to after workout protein, but damn it's expensive.

Stretchcomic

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #18 on: June 29, 2015, 10:57:15 PM »
Very true, but hey if you need a recommendation I say go for MaxPro or a Whey Isolate for a post-workout protein!

hextonix

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #19 on: July 01, 2015, 06:07:26 PM »
Had the worst day of my life, and can already feel the urges coming back...fucking fantastic

Recovery101

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #20 on: July 01, 2015, 09:45:19 PM »
Stay positive bro! Fight the urges! This reboot is like a roller coaster at times. It has it's ups and downs. We are just along for the ride. Stay strong man! Remember this feeling is only temporary. You are doing this reboot to achieve hapiness that can never be taken away.
-Rec101

hextonix

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #21 on: July 01, 2015, 10:08:53 PM »
Thx bro that's exactly what I needed to hear.  I just went to the gym and worked my ass off, and the urges appear to be gone for now.

hextonix

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #22 on: July 04, 2015, 10:48:06 AM »
One week baby!  It's been along time since I've made it to one week, and although I'm nowhere near done, I never would have made it this far if it it wasn't for everybody on here.  I just wanna thank everyone who continues to write on my wall, and help me in my time of temptation, thanks everyone.  Keep on keepin on.

Stretchcomic

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #23 on: July 04, 2015, 03:24:57 PM »
Atta boi! Keep on fighting, this takes willpower and preparation, and you got those now!

hextonix

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Re: I want to live
« Reply #24 on: July 04, 2015, 07:44:34 PM »
So today at work I saw this really hot chick walk by, and immediately it made me uncomfortable.  I instantly became really horny, and wanted to fap.  Obviously I couldn't because i was at work, but it made me realize one of my major triggers.  Not only did I want to fap because she was attractive, but mainly because it would easier than to ask her out.  This made me realize that the reason that I, and many of us, have lost our confidence is because it's a lot easier to use an image than it is to be with another person.  We try to avoid awkward situations because we have another outlet, porn.  This feeling made me so much more confident that when I finally do get passed this addiction I will have the confidence to ask a girl out, whether she says yes or no.  Just thought I would share this because in my eyes this is huge, and if anyone can benefit from what I learned today it makes all the difference.  Keep goin' guys you'll get there.