Author Topic: And now it's 30 days.  (Read 7938 times)

noitan

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And now it's 30 days.
« on: June 03, 2015, 11:32:16 AM »
Hey Fellas.

First of all, sorry for possible (probable) english mistakes, as this is not my primary language.


Well, even though i discovered "Your brain on porn" and "Reboot Nation" almost a year and a half ago, only now i managed to build a 30 days PMO free milestone. And i feel pretty good about it, so i decided to share with you guys my experience, and of course ask if someone can help me figuring out some issues.

Like the absolute majority of the members here, my addiction started in my teenage years. As i got my first PC, and installed in my bedroom, everything changed in this aspect of my life, as i spent most of my days hours on the internet watching videos and PMOing heavily.

With time, extreme videos were being found, and arousement acquired for these videos. Everything was confuse but exciting when  i was a teenager... But then, as a young adult, the issues started.

As a lot of guys, i found myself facing PIED at my college years, and at the time i didn't know why. Here's a fact. It was strange that whenever sex involved sentiment, i was good to go. A college guy with an average look can have a lot of sexual action in his college years. And so did i. But the thing is when i was given the chance to have casual sex with pretty woman, one night stands, i couldn't get things going. In the other hand, with my girlfriends i never had this problem, even though i always got anxyous in the first time, afraid that i wouldn't be able to wake up my little friend.

I am telling you this because this chain of events led me to believe that the problem is i'm not compatible with a promiscuous life, and as long i was in a relationship, everything would be fine. Well, i was wrong and imature to think that.

The addiction continued, and i have a 6 year relationship now. And even though i did not experiencede PIED in this 6 years, even more deep problems are present.

First, my tastes gradually evolved to extreme bdsm porn and transexual porn, in a way that i don't remember when was the last time i masturbated to a vanilla video. This caused, obviously, guilty sentiments, doubts about my sexuality (hocd) and the feeling that i'm not made to have a relationship, as i was everytime thinking about the kinds of sex you can only find frequenting prostitution centers and such.

Well,i am anxyous and obsessive in other aspects of life too, and it looks like my mind is always trying to find a way for not being in peace. And for an obsessive mind like mine (which i'm treating by the way, and showing signs of improvement) it is not hard to imagine how this messed up with my life. I was always in a bad mood, always cranky, couldn't concentrate, it was awful. A relatively good day always followed my a long extreme porn section resulting in a subsequent crappy day.



At this point, after long years, i discovered about porn addiction. And now, 1y6m after, i am 30 days PMO free. And here are my impressions. *NOTE: i didn't stop having  sex with my girlfriend, as she doesn't know about my problem yet.

UPSIDE:
  • Better life quality;
    time to invest in my hobbies,
    Better mood
    Awareness to my surroundings, quicker decision-making
    more creative and peaceful
    guilt free day-to-day life,
    HOCD extremely reduced (for those who are struggling with HOCD, i strongly recommend this reading:http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/understanding-and-treatment-obsessional-doubt-related-sexual-orientation-and-relationship -  i believe beating HOCD demands more information than just stop watching porn, and this article is very rewarding)

POINTS TO WORK:
Well, in this topic i'd like to ask help from the more experienced users. As long as extreme fetishes and shemale porn goes, everytime i think about it i get really excited even now, in day 30... A sick kind of excitement, with sweat in my hands and a thought of doing stupid things that fills my whole mind (yesterday i caught myself thinking seriously about going to the bank and getting money to hire an escort, even though my relationship is fine).

And here's the point. Sometimes i pass by zones in my town where i know i'll found prostitutes - woman and shemale - and i feel the urge to go there and have sex with them (i never had by the way).

So, i started a line of thought.. Could this be my brain trying to compensate the dopamine kicks i used to get from porn, now that it is being established that porn is not an option? Like: "Well, if you're not getting what i want from your computer, let's try something else!" Any of you guys experienced that? I really would appreciate feedback.

I won't make a move in this way, specially in respect with my fiancee and everything, it really isn't the lifestyle i cherish and life is not only about sex (it's important, but other things are more important), but these occurances really sometimes can be annoying, as it confuses you in thinking that this particular fetish won't go away, and eventually you will have to fulfill this fantasy...

Of course this does not happen everyday, but when it does, it is strong and it really can get in your way of doing things and being calm and happy.

I am aware that this is a journey and maybe 30 days is not enough for me... After all, it was almost 16 years of addiction and PMOing everyday... But can you guys give me some thought on my impressions? It would mean a lot to me.

Thanks guys, and congratulations for this wonderful community, in a subject that is really underrated and really serious.

RB15

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2015, 12:08:54 PM »
noitan,

Your observations are spot on. Our brains are addicted to dopamine, not porn. When porn is no longer an option (congrats, btw), the brain looks for other ways to get it. Check out replies #24 and #25 in mal's journal in the 30-39 section. Also, it looks like jkkk has written about this too.



noitan

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2015, 07:46:34 PM »
Thanks, RB15.

It's simutaneously scaring and interesting. I mean, if you don't get on top of things and give a relaxed and cold look at the situation, you might as well get on board with the thought and assume this is what will be in your head for all your life...

I'll continue registering my impressions, as definetly 30 days are not enough to get rid of all symptoms.


noitan

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #3 on: June 08, 2015, 08:07:26 PM »
35 days. I feel pretty much the same, some occasional hocd symptoms, associated to regular ocd as well... Flatlined to pretty much anything that is not porn, but had some glasses of wine with my fiancee this weekend and sex was good!...

Still, no changes about sudden fantasies and a voice telling me that everything that involves this journey is a waste of time, and i'm just cutting myself from my freedom...  a life without porn or getting laid with a lot of girls in parties or hiring prostitutes is a life of frustration.. I often see myself thinking that's who i am, and i should not flee from who i am...

Yes, it's that irracional... If i take the time and put reasonable thinking to counter these thoughts, i see that's not who i am, that makes sense that all of this thoughts are just mechanics from a "porn spoiled brain"... This kind of mentality objetifies sexual partners, and even though i still cannot imagine not having this line of thought sometimes, it's not normal or healthy.. I mean, i´m not just an animal, i am a thinking being who should not be driven only by impulses in the sexual/romantic area.

But, having the perfect argument and the perfect reasoning do not guarantee flawless wins, as sometimes the thoughts are more like screamings, and get in the way of pretty much anything else you are trying to elaborate in your head...

I guess this is part of the process..

noitan

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #4 on: June 11, 2015, 09:29:42 PM »
38 days.

Man, i'm horny as hell. For the first time in this streak, i thought i was going to rellapse, but the day went by and i engaged in other activities, managing to hang on.

On other note, i'm experiencing some really obsessive thoughts towards my relationship.. for example, in the last days, thoughts of cheating when i see a hot girl on the street, or imagining how great my life as a single guy would be were frequent.. Again, i love my girl, we are building a beautiful story, so i don't see myself doing that, but it's kind of scary if that is a withdrawal symptom, since it demonstrates how our brain can create ways to get his fix.

Once again, sometimes it seems i (not Conscientiously) try to find problems when everything's fine, punishing myself for no reason and in some level, i think my subconscient have the idea i don't deserve happiness (which i'm managing through therapy and getting better each day), so sometimes i don't know if this is the cause of these thoughts (like: well, everything's going great, you are beating your addiction, so let´s find a flaw in your life or something to bug you), or if is really a symptom that is related to the process of getting over the addiction.

Anyone has experienced something like that?

RB15

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #5 on: June 12, 2015, 09:02:50 AM »
Noitan, yes, I struggle with the feeling of not deserving happiness and self-sabotage. I have not sought therapy but have considered it. I tend to not do things the easy way. I procrastinate and do them at the last minute. I've been doing that for decades. Not all the time of course, but most of the time. Unnecessary stress that comes with procrastination, low self-esteem, and porn use are all very related. Worthwhile things take time, patience, and commitment. And especially consistency, not doing things like you're "cramming" for a test.

I have no idea about causality and your thoughts, but ultimately I think causality is unimportant, and that's because you have the choice on how to respond to those self-defeating thoughts. Maybe at some point in your life you were mentally "beat up", whether by yourself or others, and this is the path your brain has come to take. Maybe its your addiction-riddled brain trying to drive you to a relapse. I say it doesn't matter. It just matters that you respond in a healthy way, in the way you're choosing, and that your brain is re-wired the way its supposed to be.

For me, its making the choice to plan and work instead of procrastinate. Its uncomfortable at first. At some level I'm battling with the thoughts "you're not good enough to do this", "are you really going to follow through with this", etc. But after some focus-driven work, the mental cobwebs clear up considerably. I feel pretty happy. Then that feels uncomfortable.

Its dealing with this emotional discomfort (whether happiness, stress, sadness, doesn't matter), where its easy to turn to porn to deal with it. And making decisions to deal with emotions in a healthy way is at heart of this addiction.



noitan

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #6 on: June 22, 2015, 12:45:31 PM »
Thanks, RB15. I tell you, the brain has tricky ways to defend itself, even if its mechanisms are taking you to misery...

Now it's 49 days without masturbating to porn, and i feel some changes. But the biggest surprise for me until now is how porn hid my other problems.

I have trust issues, i am kind of obssessed with guilt and self punishment, feel anxyous most of my time feeling i should be doing something else than what i'm doing, and these flaws, these points to work could never be in evidence when porn is on the table.

And in this point,(and maybe i won't get much empathy from the group about this), i realized that this addiction not only damages your sexual health, it masks your problems, it gets in the way of you knowing yourself.

What  i came to realize is that maybe my brain is too damaged from porn for me to recovery 100%.. But it doesn't matter... Because just from quitting porn i came to realize a lot of aspects of my disfunctional personality that need attention and changes.

This is a big break for me. I still have a lot of thoughts about getting off to porn, and when comes to mind all the extreme fetishes videos i used to watch every day, i get aroused and in doubt about my choice of quitting (i think - or deep down know -  this can be my brain trying to convince me that i'll never get over all of this, because it's the way i am), but my life is better now. And the urge, the impulse, is significantly smaller than in the first days or weeks, so i guess i'm having progress...

Still want to achieve 90 days and check if the rewire is more clear then.

noitan

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #7 on: July 06, 2015, 07:10:11 AM »
63 days.

Definitely quitting porn helps you figure out and solve other issues in your life... Changing is a process, rewiring sucks sometimes, but is well paid off. It seems that the other problems in my life are much smaller as i advance..

Sure i have some issues, i have some guilt problems, some OCD symptoms sometimes... But the attitude and a calm state of mind when tackling those problems come a long way.

Last week i almost had a rellapse, remembering porn and thinking about all the new stuff i would find if i went through a PMO session. Started watching a tv show, and it passed after 20min.. That was a good experiment.

Another effect i feel is the lack of urges when seeing some porn or nude picture anywhere. I mean, come on, sexy girls are everywhere on the internet, even if you are not looking. Today we are all familiarized with whatsapp groups or IM groups, where ppl share videos and pcitures, and some groups are very porn orienteded. I tried to get out of all those groups, but sometimes even in a "nice and  cool" group some nude pictures of girls are sent.

I remember back when i started the reboot, those were unresistable. I just used to go nuts when i saw those pictures, and took good effort to resist the temptation to rellapse.. These days though, when some picture or video is sent, it just doesn't have the same effect on me.. I see, sometimes don't even download, don't feel any urge to continue searching for anything. Just delete it and move on with my life.

I think at this point i may be becoming the guy i want in this matter. The guy who doesn't see porn as a viable option to saciate my sexual urges.

Still in the way of recovery and not thinking the work is done, but i thought this words might incentivate you guys. I noticed even though you don't post a lot, this topic is being opened a lot of times.

noitan

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #8 on: July 15, 2015, 11:52:32 AM »
72 days...

Dealing with a urge of watching porn just to get out of boredom, and see what "new" things are online, and i'm missing.

Trying to keep my mind busy and remember all the path that are already walked.

noitan

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #9 on: July 19, 2015, 04:28:16 PM »
Rellapsed hard at day 76..

The weekend itself contributed i guess, drank heavily at an event that happened in my town, my girlfriend is traveling for 1 week, the urges came, i simply did it..

Not feeling devastated (and i see that as progress in the rewiring project), but definetly bummed.. It's sad how easily happened..

But, let's start again. I feel like i'm developing into a better man, and the process is making me more complete, so giving up is not an option.

Day 1.

westcoastguy

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #10 on: July 20, 2015, 10:43:28 AM »
Hey man,

Was just reading through your thread and can definitely relate to a lot of it, as I am in a 4-year relationship and am struggling with the same issues. I work at home and have to deal with being by myself all day when my girl goes to work. It's really tough. I've also had issues fantasizing about getting a prostitute, and more specifically going to a massage parlor with benefits (one of my favorite things to fantasize about and watch when PMO'ing). I actually slipped on the weekend and ended up on Craigslist searching for one, but caught myself and came back on this website immediately before doing something worse. It is indeed funny how the brain looks for alternate routes for a dopamine hit when P is out of the picture.

I can totally relate to the drinking being a trigger. I am at my horniest with intense cravings for PMO when I am hungover, and that's actually when I ended up on Craigslist. It would be a real shame if I had to give up partying with friends because I enjoy it. I understand how the urges can take you over though.

All I can say is that reading your progress was really inspiring to me. It seemed like things were really getting better for you as time went on and that is great. I'm only 12 days in and I also get doubts about whether this is even worth it or if I will in fact notice any changes in my life. Reading other member's progress really helps to keep me on track so thank you for that. I'm not an expert obviously but I'm guessing your relapse won't erase all the hard work you have done up until now. Happy to hear you aren't giving up! It's easy to slip into bad habits and the best thing you can do is not beat yourself up about it and get right back on track.

Best of luck man!



noitan

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #11 on: July 21, 2015, 11:20:40 AM »
hi westcoastguy,

Thank you a lot for your words. You know, sometimes this battle is kind of lonely. You can't tell your friends, you don't feel comfortable to tell your family, some therapists don't really know what you're talking about, since the studies in this matter are relatively new and fresh. It can get lonely.

That's why i think this community here is very important. I'm pretty sure that a relapse cannot erase all your progress, so you keep that in mind too. You are in a good road, in my longest streak i felt that the 10 first days were the most difficult, so since you are now 14 days on your stretch, maybe you can accomplish your goals more easily.

About your thoughts, alcohol definetly is a trigger. Hungover days are when the urges come and my defenses are usually down. It's important to keep taht in mind in order to avoid being alone or get bored in this situations.

Now it's day 2. Man, it feels a little distant day 77, which is a milestone to accomplish. Let's keep working though.
« Last Edit: July 21, 2015, 11:22:25 AM by noitan »

noitan

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #12 on: August 04, 2015, 09:39:56 PM »
Day 16.

I'm really impressed about how easier it is the second time around. I know i have to be careful, and watch every step of the climb, but i thought this might stimulate you guys: It becomes easier.

The first days in my past stretch were the hard ones, the really hard ones. I feel better, the urges are less intense, and overall, the proccess is lighter.

Hope to continue that way. Keep it up!

noitan

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #13 on: August 31, 2015, 10:06:46 PM »
41 days and I rellapsed.

It's becoming day by day easier to get porn out of my daily routine, but this rellapse is worth as a alert, that is a long path, and the wirings in your brain don't disappear so easy.

I feel better, HOCD extremely reduced, some extreme fetishes exists still, but i came to accept how they were created instead of punishing myself for having them.. Since this approach was made, it reduced considerably, and having in mind that i still didn't complete a 90 days without PMO cycle, i guess it's normal.

It's rewarding. Knowing that this addiction does not dominate you anymore is really good. But the rellapses can happen, you have to be careful... The main thing that i came to learn is that definetly the progress is not erased as you rellapse.

Your perspective about life changes.. It's very interesting.

Day 1, here we go.

noitan

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #14 on: September 14, 2015, 04:00:53 PM »
HEy guys.  I feel like i need some help here.

As i told in the previous replies, i find amazing how your brain create paths to get the dopamine fixes it was so used to get from porn...

And to a complicated mind like mine, it's kindda overwhelming. These past days, my mind is overflowing with thoughts of abandoning my S.O. so i could live a life fullfilling sexual fantasies, and hiring escorts and going to parties doing dirty stuff, putting in my life the weird fetishes i have developed from porn, and things like that.

Yesterday i found myself again reading sex stories from the extreme fetishes i developed, and was extremely aroused... And then, masturbated to this sex story. I know technically this doesn't count as high speed porn, but i'll restart my counting again...

The help i need though, is something i think only a person with experience could give... Does the weird fetishes that you know are not a natural part of you really goes away? Aren't we fooling ourselves, as even if you quit porn, the only  difference is that you will try it in real life? This is really bugging me..

My country does not have a lotta litterature in internet porn, so even the mind professionals don't offer much help in this area..

I don't plan on quitting soon, but i guess at this time a simple journal is no longer enough... I need feedback. Can anyone help?

Anyway, day 1.

noitan

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #15 on: September 20, 2015, 10:40:37 PM »
Well, not a lot of feedback. But that's okay, everybody is fighting their own battles.

Anyway, i'm doing this reboot for a time, but i didn't do yet considering masturbation without porn as an issue.

I know each case is different, but after reading some articles, i realized that not excluding masturbation whatsoever maybe is retarding my progress.

Today, i start my reboot not only from PMO, but also MO.

Day 1.

ulaozin

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #16 on: September 23, 2015, 08:23:06 AM »
Hi Noitan,

I didn't read your journal yet, but I will start it now. It's good to reduce your MO, it truly helps recovering but watch it, it can become a lot harder.

Good work man, take care!


mrclean

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #17 on: October 05, 2015, 12:39:34 AM »
For me:

1. I totally agree that brain is very creative in finding dopamine fixes. When I quit alcohol and drugs I engaged more in porn, when I tried to lower porn usage I started overating.

Even yesterday I found myself in strange thinking about buying new e-smoking device. I don't need it. I have one. However in trying myself to convince that I need new stronger batteries and better device I found track of addiction. Stronger device = more nicotine = more dopamine :)

2. As for fantasies - I have mine as well and this is hard part of addiction. When I quit porn I started to generate events in my life to make my dreams come true more than before. And this is for me also destructive in long run

3. So basicly - awarness, awarness, awarness. Doing lots of journalling helped me a lot to find what is hidden deep inside my psycho-onion and when I understand and accept I'm trying to connect this parts. Not fighting rather finding real needs and giving from my more mature part understanding and help to fulfill this real needs of less mature part.

4. It's long process but is working. You can imagine that you have child in yourself who needs understanding, help and attention. If you fight him - you'll be destructive. If you neglect him - he'll go back with stronger voice. When you talk, understand, offer help and support he'll thank you and start to grow.

5. Don't use labels (for example I'm complicated). All this is simple. You are what you are. You have needs. Either you fulfill or repress or sublimate (let them grow). Thinking, comparing and morality is mind's work and it stands in the way. Emotions and needs are what matters. Just use higher energy emotions (understanding, compassion) to embrace lower energy emotions. Just like you give help and attention to small neglected child with wish to help him to grow.


mrclean

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #18 on: October 05, 2015, 12:45:34 AM »
I'm very glad for your words

"I'm really impressed about how easier it is the second time around. I know i have to be careful, and watch every step of the climb, but i thought this might stimulate you guys: It becomes easier."

I now in first real reboot: http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=6334.0

I understood that I'm addicted to PMO in may and started with strong 23 days of being clean. After initial success I went back in 1-2 weeks cycles feeling hoples that I can't go through first 14 days.

Now I'm aware that I need to work day-to-day with no exception and have more prevention. However I'm scared as hell that I will have another relapse and go back in struggling. For me first two weeks are very hard.

Glad to hear that there is truth in your story that every decission is investment in making this process easier in long run


noitan

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #19 on: October 06, 2015, 09:55:52 PM »
Hey @ulaozin. Thanks, man, i´ll wait your feedback!

Hey Mr. Clean!

Thanks for your words, brother, i'll read your journal asap!
 
I think your observations demonstrate a mind that think much like mine when it comes to addiction. Most of all, this journey is about self-knowledge, and attending to parts of us that are really claiming for attention. We know all the biological process that maintain us in the cycle, but we usually forget the flaws, the destructive behaviours that suck us in the addiction in an frustrated attempt to get out of reality.

Like i said, i'm on my first hardcore reboot, excluding masturbation whatsoever, not only PMO. For now, it showed me that maybe to a person like me, cutting only PMO was never going to work. Let me explain: Even f i was not using porn to masturbate, when the urge came, i would go to the bathroom and aliviate myself... And what i came to realize is that, at least in ths moment of my life, even that behaviour was keeping me from facing the real problem, keeing me from developing self control and keeping me from the need of findig new activities so i could get past the urge...

After all, this reboot is being a really good  trip inside my mind, and i'm being able to identify a lot defense mechanisms, comfort zone thoughts, and such...

Sometimes is hard, but i feel confident that i can achieve 90 days, and see what my mind will look like at that time.

Day 16.

mrclean

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #20 on: October 07, 2015, 01:16:41 AM »
Thanks for joining in!

I totally agree with you. My mind is also have been very creative in finding ways to escape from reality, numb feelings, lower standards, find excuses, not take actions and feel great about it ;)

I used alcohol and drugs for this, later PMO or even learning new things that are useless. All to face away from real problems.

I think know that real core issue is me not believing in myself. That I can cope with real life and real people and real problems. I inherited this belief from my early childhood.

May it can be useful for you is below. I found interesting cycles inside my head

negative one:

I make comitements to myself and others -> I fail to meet those commitments -> I feel bad -> I need relief -> I engage in PMO (though I made commitment to myself that I won't) -> I feel that I'm not trust worthy -> I made more comitments to myself and others -> (cycle loops)

positive one:

I make commitent to myslef that I'll be reliable for myself -> I have small progress in rooting to recovery -> I feel more confident and trust worthy for myself -> I feel better and more in control -> I'm aware smart and positive -> I communicate better with myself and others and take less commitments -> I have time and energy to make commitments for myself that I'll continue my recovery -> (cycle loops)

Do you relate? For me it was very important understanding. Most crucial part was, that I feel unreliable not becouse I make others people disapionted but because I make myself disapointed (my own commitments for my self are more important that for others)

Another thing I noticed that I loved to destroy myself emotionally to the point of being sick. And I understood why.

When I felt overhelmed and out of control of my life I had to options:

Regain control by taking actions
or
Regain control to lower myself so down that I'll have excuses (when you trully beaten and down on ground you have again control becouse there is no more moves, you stoped fighting and surrendered)

So now I'm trying to control HOW I'll regain control (because autodestructive mode is relief but doesn't solve enything)


noitan

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #21 on: October 09, 2015, 09:05:42 PM »
That's absolutely a cycle i can relate.

I think all my problems are correlated now that i think about it, and i know it seems obvious, but i just realized that a few days from now.

Quitting porn is not a magical formula, it's not gonna give you the perfect life, and everything will be fine immediatly...

But quitting porn can expand your horizons, can make you give attention to aspects of your life that were in the shadow.. SO you discover a lot of problems, and sometimes it's hard to deal with them too, which can lead to anxiety, and guess what? Lead straight to porn again...

It's a cautious road this we're in... But most of all, it's a road that has the power to bring your mind to another state, a state of self awareness, and that is definetly something we all need to solve our imperfections.


19 days

mrclean

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #22 on: October 10, 2015, 02:31:58 AM »
Fully agree.

What happened in my life is that I managed to connect some of my problems (regarding emotional states, being lazy, anxious) with porn. So it comes the same way as regarding alcohol recovery - in late state of addiction you feel anxious becouse of drinking and drink more not to be anxious.

Uncovering numbed feelings and new problems is typical part of recovery, however I'm glad that I remember that I dirsregarded PMO self medication from my list of copying with reality

Today day 14. I should be happy, however I feel my neurotransmiters levels are configured to depression zone....


SP789

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #23 on: October 10, 2015, 03:32:33 AM »
Thanks noitan for posting your journal. It's really giving me a new insight on reasons to quit PMO.

Thanks again.

noitan

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Re: And now it's 30 days.
« Reply #24 on: October 10, 2015, 07:33:52 PM »
Thanks noitan for posting your journal. It's really giving me a new insight on reasons to quit PMO.

Thanks again.

Hey brother, glad i am helping others beyond myself. Post your journal link, let's helpe each other.

@mrclean : Your brain will be like this even when there's nothing to be sad about... The main problem is that since you're depressed and your mind have an accelerated thoughts flow, you can catch yourself trying to find answeres to why you are depressed, and that is a trigger to find problems where there are none, and being more sad, more guilty and more depressed.. Don't do that, my friend!

Try to find something to do, and bring to reality your state of mind: "Okay, i'm depressed.. Fine. But I KNOW I MAY BE DEPRESSED BECAUSE I'M ON A DIFFICULT PROCESS, THAT MIXES MY EMOTIONS. So it's normal.. Let's carry on, let's live."

Day 20, without PMO or MO. That's a first...