Author Topic: In need of a little support  (Read 1938 times)

Johnny1234

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 7
    • View Profile
In need of a little support
« on: May 07, 2014, 06:38:01 PM »
Though a long time P abuser and PIED sufferer, I only recently discovered this site and others dedicated to PIED.  Not long ago, I fell hard for a girl and my ED was a major issue in our budding relationship.  My desperate search for answers/solutions led me here.  Thoroughly relieved to finally have answers to this problem that has plagued most of my adult life, I began my reboot immediately.  We attempted to have sex one week into my reboot and after failing miserably to get hard (again), she finally unveiled just how frustrated she had become with my issue.  I did not explain to her that it was PIED.  Instead, I went with performance anxiety and self worth issues (which both are factors, but I knew that I wasn't 100% forthcoming with her).  This is a long distance relationship, so I only get to see her on the weekends.  The next time I saw her, I was then two weeks into my reboot and flatlining hard.  I did not attempt to have sex with her - mostly out of fear of failure.  I would not get another chance to prove myself as she ended the relationship yesterday. 

I am crushed.  She is adamant that my "issue" is not the reason, but I know that it is.  The relationship deteriorated quickly once it became clear that I was just unable to perform. 

I have not relapsed and have no intention of doing so, but my motivation is now greatly diminished.  I'm not a very outgoing confident person, so the chance of having a shot at the real thing anytime soon seems slim. 

The good news is that now nearly a full month in, I feel like my flatline is subsiding.  My libido is slowly returning, but without a real girl to be with, I feel my urges for PMO getting stronger. 

dc6

  • Reboot Army Member
  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 99
    • View Profile
Re: In need of a little support
« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2014, 09:11:23 PM »
I am sorry to hear that your relationship ended, and I know your pain very well. That said, porn will never be the answer. Look at it this way: may be you end up getting back together, and maybe not. But the worst case scenario can only involve you going back to porn. If you go back and get back together, the problem you worked so hard to try and get rid of will be back, and your relationship will once again be doomed. If you go back and do not get back together, you still have the problem and that will keep you from developing some kind of rewarding relationship down the road with someone else.

Porn could give you some kind of temporary relief, but it will solve nothing.

Discipline

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 19
    • View Profile
Re: In need of a little support
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2014, 01:58:53 PM »
 She left you because you couldn't satisfy her, meaning she loves your dick not you. She would have cheated on you had you guys still been together. Don't be upset about her ok, I know you have real feelings for her but she only wants sex. You will feel better tomorrow and better as time passes by. There are plenty of hot fish out there (it's almost summer) for you. Many guys been through this, so can you.
 In the meantime, keep up the good work with your reboot and go pick up chicks to release, dont PMO.

WiP

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 85
    • View Profile
Re: In need of a little support
« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2014, 06:56:05 AM »
Sorry about your GF, But it sounds as if she is only interested in that aspect of the relationship she wasn't all that great of a catch anyway.  Stay strong and work your program so that when the time comes next time it will be a non issue.  DO NOT LET THIS SHALLOW FEMALE DEFEAT YOU...YOU DESERVE MUCH MUCH MORE THAN THAT.  YOU ARE DOING THIS FOR YOURSELF NOT HER

TheNightPorter1987

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 3
    • View Profile
Re: In need of a little support
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2014, 03:12:18 AM »
I totally know what you are going through man. I've been in love with a girl for the last year but due me having a girlfriend for a while and then moving to a new town we just had to remain friends and it never went any further, until recently when she came to visit me and i finally get my chance. Here is this beautiful girl naked in my bed and I just cant get it up. After that we definitely went back into the 'friend zone'. I got really depressed over it. However, we need to use this depression as motivation not as a reason to relapse!!

since my failure with this girl ive stopped smoking and I just discovered no fap and i'm 6 days into my reeboot. I WILL NOT LET PORN STOP ME FROM GETTING DOWN TO IT WITH GIRLS LIKE HER EVER AGAIN!!!!  TELL YOURSELF THIS OVER AND OVER!!!  MORE GIRLS WILL COME ALONG - FIX YOUR BRAIN BEFORE THEY DO. GET ANGRY!! THINK ABOUT HOW YOU LOST THAT GIRL AND THINKK ABOUT HOW MANY MOORE YOU COULD LOSE IF YOU DONT FIX THIS

BEST OF LUCK MATE

jstatca

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 49
    • View Profile
Re: In need of a little support
« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2014, 07:32:39 AM »
Johnny1234 - I know exactly how you feel as well! I've lost a number of extremely attractive and very willing girls due to my inability to get and stay hard - so, so frustrating.

However, as already mentioned in the replies you've received, use this as motivation to get better so you never have to experience this bad feeling again.

I agree with the other posters that if she's not going to stick around then she probably isn't the girl for you long term. I do also know that it really sucks losing out on soo much fun and intimacy as well!

I'm 33 days into my no PMO and I've also just a met another girl who is quite attractive. I'm trying to delay as much as possible and make it go slower until it leads to sex. I think the best thing to do is just let her know that she'll have to be patient and let's get to know each other first for a bit 2-3 months perhaps? That's what I'm thinking of doing anyways - not sure how well it will fly but I'll keep you posted in case it might help you and others here with the next girl that will come along.

Have faith and be strong!

Cheers...

Viper

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 500
  • Personal Text
    pray not for lighter load but for broader shoulder
    • View Profile
Re: In need of a little support
« Reply #6 on: May 17, 2014, 09:53:02 AM »
Well Johnny Reboot,
I just got to say that I'm sorry to hear about your girl there.
Being in the dating scene is real tough when you are going through PIED and rebooting.
I myself have dated women (not many) who would not tolerate a limp dick.
I have even dated at least one who forbid me to beat my meat or look at porn
during our relationship.
So I've been fortunate that I already had an SO when I discovered my issue.
I'm actually turning the corner of my reboot and I'm feeling more confident.
You can do the same. I'm not a fan of dick pills but if feel like you need a boost,
don't be to proud to use them if you think the time is right.

All I know is that it's gonna take time to recover. It's like learning to ride a bike
all over again once you start back up having intercourse. But it's also rewarding
knowing that you had the discipline and patience to see it through.