Author Topic: Fight this, you're soldiers  (Read 22016 times)

Stretchcomic

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #25 on: June 12, 2015, 12:06:53 AM »
Had something of a defining moment tonight. Was snapchatting the girlfriend and she started sending me semi-dirty way-too-attractive pictures. Sent me into a really strong urge, ran through every excuse I could to relapse "just this once" "because its her". But I went on the forum and read through success stories instead, reminding myself that i'm still in the process of rebooting. Gotta say while I hope being turned on by these photos might've almost hurt me, that maybe choosing against acting on it and having it be my gf might've helped a little?

On a side note, I really have to talk to her about me having PIED, tonight was just too damn hard to continue to beat. I care about this broad, hopefully it can be something we can work on together. We'll see, stay strong you guys!

-SC

Recovery101

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #26 on: June 12, 2015, 01:44:34 PM »
Hey SC

Nice job on avoiding a relapse. Our minds can trick us into thinking what's wrong is right. You shouldn't act on photos of your GF. Act on the real thing.  ;) Stay strong man

-Rec101

Stretchcomic

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #27 on: June 13, 2015, 02:17:30 AM »
Thanks Rec101, I appreciate the kind words bro! Hopefully I can keep this streak going and reach my 90 days by august, we're all in this together!

On a positive note, I think my tools for killing urges are getting stronger and the days have been nicer! I had some strong ones today but I took a cold shower and recalled the memories of when PIED embarrassed me and felt the urge go away!

I know flatlines tend to venture through highs and lows, and i'm gonna soak up this high i'm in right now because those lows pretty much suck. Keep the momentum going, guys!

-SC

Recovery101

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #28 on: June 15, 2015, 03:21:57 AM »
Nice man! Keep using those tools to your advantage. Never give in! Never go back! Stay Strong Brother we're fighting this together. And Chef Curry For The Win.  :P  ;)
-Rec101

Stretchcomic

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #29 on: June 15, 2015, 12:14:45 PM »
Rec101: Curry is just too good. Its ridiculous, watching him is like watching one of those created players on a videogame people use to cheat! Props 8)

I'm hitting a couple mini-milestones today! I've now been PMO free for 3 weeks! And my timer has almost reached 25% too! Things can be hard sometimes, but there isn't a force on earth stronger than the human will, so I plan on continuing this fight!

Another interesting point I thought of today is that my urges tend to be a little stronger while I feel good. The last couple of days, I really haven't been feeling the effects of the flatline, my piece isn't all shriveled and sad anymore, my mood and energy have been up there, and i definitely have the libido to follow it.

The problem is, with the way I think, this is when my mind starts making excuses. "I'm probably cured, I can do it." "Its been awhile, it won't set you back that much." Or the dreaded "Hey, you DESERVE this." I don't, though. I deserve being with a real woman and all the little joys i'm getting out of life that I wasn't while still involved in that crap.

I can tell you that after just 3 weeks, things are more beautiful to me now, not just women. I'm a happier guy because of this, but I've got a long ways to go. Keep fighting, you guys, we will get to that light at the end of the tunnel!

-SC
« Last Edit: June 15, 2015, 12:16:24 PM by Stretchcomic »

Stretchcomic

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #30 on: June 17, 2015, 02:23:42 AM »
After a few good days, TODAY SUCKED.

I was on the verge of caving into urges I had all day, something I haven't had to deal with in the last week. I haven't been so close to v=relapsing in quite some time, I had to put my phone and computer in my bedroom while I watched tv with my family in the living room. BUT THERES MORE.

I went to spend time with my gf tonight, typical fun night with her and maybe get some rewiring done. While we were having dinner together though I had a horrible anxiety attack (idk if it was because of the withdrawal symptoms or just out of fear of having to tell her about my PIED) and that sucked. My heart raced, I could hardly breathe, it was not something I am used to having.

I know that if I spent the night with her i'd have to tell her about the PIED before anything too big happened. And saying it frankly, I pussied out. I was so nervous about actually having that talk that I pretended to have a stomach ache so I could go home. Pathetic, I know. The crazy thing is, I don't even think she'd mind that much. Like I really think we're falling for each other so I have to man up and see how it goes and just trust my girl.

Things are going to get better, but they sure as hell suck now. Fight on, y'all

-SC

DanteKO

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #31 on: June 17, 2015, 06:56:48 PM »
After a few good days, TODAY SUCKED.

I was on the verge of caving into urges I had all day, something I haven't had to deal with in the last week. I haven't been so close to v=relapsing in quite some time, I had to put my phone and computer in my bedroom while I watched tv with my family in the living room. BUT THERES MORE.

I went to spend time with my gf tonight, typical fun night with her and maybe get some rewiring done. While we were having dinner together though I had a horrible anxiety attack (idk if it was because of the withdrawal symptoms or just out of fear of having to tell her about my PIED) and that sucked. My heart raced, I could hardly breathe, it was not something I am used to having.

I know that if I spent the night with her i'd have to tell her about the PIED before anything too big happened. And saying it frankly, I pussied out. I was so nervous about actually having that talk that I pretended to have a stomach ache so I could go home. Pathetic, I know. The crazy thing is, I don't even think she'd mind that much. Like I really think we're falling for each other so I have to man up and see how it goes and just trust my girl.

Things are going to get better, but they sure as hell suck now. Fight on, y'all

-SC

I think that anxiety attack could have been caused by both symptoms of withdrawal and not opening up to your girlfriend yet about your PIED. I would suggest opening up with her, because she is your girlfriend and although I have no clue how long both of you have been dating an important aspect in a relationship is to open up. Is not telling her worth all that anxiety? The last thing you want to do is keep something held in.

Stretchcomic

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #32 on: June 19, 2015, 01:43:15 AM »
That's really true, DanteKO, and I gotta get the courage to talk about it with her. Today felt fine, still rebooting and all but nothing too crazy. Biggest thing I look forward to is reaching an entire month in a few days! Fight on

-SC

Recovery101

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #33 on: June 22, 2015, 01:19:40 AM »
You got this bro! I'll be here with you to celebrate when you hit that milestone. :)
Keep going
-Rec101

Stretchcomic

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #34 on: June 22, 2015, 11:56:51 PM »
You got this bro! I'll be here with you to celebrate when you hit that milestone. :)
Keep going
-Rec101

Thank you so much for the support man, you guys are all a huge reason that keeps me going as strong as I can. Today was a rough one, not gonna lie. I'd been pretty urge free for like 2 weeks but today I had some strong ones after hearing a pretty suggestive song at the gym that carried a trigger for me.

On the bright side, I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP and this is going to be a porn-free year! Blue balls are killing me right now but one positive is that I got half-chub just driving today 8) that's something to celebrate, right?

One big project I've been working on is making an audition tape for my favorite show: Survivor! When I get on, imma represent all of the Nation because anything is possible. Fight on, soldiers!

-SC
« Last Edit: June 23, 2015, 11:56:21 AM by Stretchcomic »

Stretchcomic

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #35 on: June 23, 2015, 06:18:14 PM »
Just wanted to give some advice on how to stay strong, something that's been helping me get through the tougher times recently as I cross the 1 month threshold!


DON'T HAVE THE MINDSET OF AN ADDICT

1. This sets you up for failure. If you are constantly thinking about how tough this is and how strong you are for continuing the struggle, you are giving pornography too much air time in your head. Even the positive thoughts like "Man, it takes a tough guy like me to stay away from PMO for a month" make it harder on you, because the longer that these thoughts resonate, the tougher that they become to fight later on.

2. The mind of an addict can often be synonymous with a mind full of excuses. Some of you may be the strongest people I know, but having a recovering addict mindset is a precursor to failing because "you weren't ready" or "its too hard right now" or "you've never had such a strong urge". Fight that shit. Let it know who's in charge. Our brains turn against us in the sense that they can justify things that they know are wrong, which means your intrinsic motivation and determination is going to have to be that much more focused to your goal. Don't let these excuses define you.

So what to do?

     As tough as it sounds, you have to try to be impartial to this substance. Don't let it consume any thoughts, it doesn't deserve that kind of credit. This is VERY tough the first couple of weeks, but it gets better. Keep on the fight. Your brain eventually conditions itself to not have those kinds of thoughts because they aren't being fed. The best medicine for a brain is time, and more time without PMO and artificial stimulation will help you. The less you think about porn, you have time to think about other things, which will be the best thing for you (especially for those like me with PIED).

Keep on the good fight you guys. Do it for yourselves, do it for each other, and do it for a happier existence in your youth.

-SC
« Last Edit: June 24, 2015, 01:24:55 AM by Stretchcomic »

Stretchcomic

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #36 on: June 24, 2015, 07:27:50 PM »
You guys... I've finally hit a month! Its been full of ups and downs but i'm so damn happy to say I've been able to make it this far, and I definitely got a long ways to go. So here we go:

One Month Update

1.     My optimism and attitude are sooo much better, i don't get upset or offended over things that would usually ruin my day. I'm motivated, more driven and just overall in a happier mindstate (aside from the occasional urge).

2.     Mind fog is essentially gone. I can focus on things significantly better as well as having more definite and creative thoughts. My standup comedy writing has been easier and making video ideas is almost seamless now.

3.     Physically, I'm stonger than i was before. I have more energy that i use at the gym and am getting muscular growth at a much higher level than before. The PIED I've been dealing with for a little over a year now is still present, but is way less severe. Where there wouldn't even be movement with my gf before, i got to about 70% chub just kissing her goodbye when she was driving home.

This system works, you guys. I'm nowhere near done, and give all the more respect and pride to those who have recovered and beaten the addiction, and am looking forward to improving every day in order to look back with disbelief at how i used to live. Thank you to the Nation for the vital support, i couldn't be doing this without y'all. Stay strong and FIGHT ON

-SC

DanteKO

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #37 on: June 24, 2015, 11:39:20 PM »
Great stuff Stretchcomic. You've grown so much in the past month. Not thinking about rebooting does help a lot and it's great you brought it up.
It just slowly separates you from your urges because you are occupied on doing something else. I also have been trying to sit in silence with myself (while thinking or listening to calming or even classical music) so that I can really let my emotions surface.
I would suggest it only if you care/aren't busy because of the effects it has. I have a lot less brain fog now because of it. Meditation is also absolutely golden and my urges become non-existent because of it. Anyways, I'm glad you're a month in now.

Recovery101

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #38 on: June 25, 2015, 12:42:51 AM »
I'm proud of you brother. Keep going! You are an inspiration to all of us here. You are not just staying strong for yourself, you are staying strong for all of us. Believing and giving us support when we need it, you do it all. I know you can conquer this addiction. You are getting stronger every minute. Utilize this strenght and use it for good. You got this.
-Rec101

ninja95

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #39 on: June 28, 2015, 01:29:00 PM »
Its nice to see that you also see some improvement now! Keep on going my friend

Stretchcomic

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #40 on: June 28, 2015, 01:45:04 PM »
Thank you guys for all the support, I couldn't do this without the relentless support from all of you. It really means the world and we're all going to make it out of here!

-SC

Stretchcomic

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #41 on: June 29, 2015, 11:11:33 PM »
I've hit 5 weeks!

Mini milestones just keep coming after awhile, and it feels amazing. One of the best feelings is that I hardly ever think about the PIED I so desperately want to be rid of, unfortunately I tend to think about it while it counts with my gf. But babysteps, right?

One thing I've noticed, which makes me excited in a weird way, is when I see a gorgeous REAL woman in public, I get a really high libido but don't think about PMO. Afterwards, I tend to go through a mini flatline for a number of hours. Despite having the hormonal/emotional stability of a woman going through menopause, I know these weird effects are helpful. It shows that i'm still recovering, which is a relief, and it shows that i'm having a sexual response to actual women. While before I was indifferent because of what i'd seen on a screen, i'm finally finding a natural attraction to actual people and it feels good.

Still got a ways to go, and I can't wait to continue improving every day just like y'all. As usual, FIGHT ON

-SC

Recovery101

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #42 on: June 30, 2015, 02:24:11 AM »
Good job man! Proud of you. I know exactly how you feel rightnow. I experienced that a couple months ago, and I'm looking forward to experiencing it again. Keep going and never look back! We are going to overcome this addiction together.
-Rec101

Stretchcomic

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #43 on: June 30, 2015, 02:50:31 PM »
Damn straight, we are Rec101! In every single one of us there is the beast that can accomplish literally anything, you just gotta wake him up my man.


Recovery101

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #44 on: June 30, 2015, 03:17:16 PM »
I couldn't agree with you more...it's time to let him out of his cage again.

Stretchcomic

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #45 on: July 01, 2015, 09:54:47 PM »
I was ridiculously close to relapsing last night, it was genuinely terrifying for me. I couldn't sleep and did everything I had to in order to redirect my thoughts. None of it seemed to work so I tried something I honestly haven't done in several months: I prayed. I prayed that God would give me the strength I needed to get through this addiction and the understanding that it will get better, along with prating that my relationship doesn't take a bad turn upon telling my girlfriend about my PIED.

It may seem a little bit hypocritical to post such a religion-heavy message as someone who goes to church maybe once or twice a year, but it did give me strength and I can look back at last night as another success. I'm not going to tell people what to believe or which specific methods would work for them, just wanted to give credit where it was due in basically saving my progress last night.

Keep fighting you guys, no matter what keep fighting

-SC

Recovery101

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #46 on: July 02, 2015, 05:33:42 PM »
Keep going man! It's good you're reaching out to the big man. Prayer can help us solve anything we put our minds to. You got this bro!
-Rec101

Sampson Munk

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #47 on: July 02, 2015, 06:42:59 PM »
Hey man,

You said you came close to relapse that night. Was it just strong urges and very nearly falling to temptation, or did you actually embrace triggers or look for them?

Either way, I'd get yourself busy over the next couple of days. Usually what happens after something like this is you get MASSIVE amounts of sexual energy built up and that can drive you to want to relapse or put you in situations where will end up doing it.

There's a couple of different ways to avert sexual energy:
-Long distractions/being busy/ going somewhere
-Meditation and prayer
-Exercise
-Sleeping
-Masturbation

I understand if your in hardcore reboot and don't want to masturbate, that's fine it just works really well for me. I understand if you actually can't MO and that's alright, it's just one of the ways to prevent PMO relapse.

If you try one and it doesn't work, don't suffer, try something else aswell :)

Great work on your progress man!




Stretchcomic

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #48 on: July 03, 2015, 01:01:51 AM »
Thanks to both of you guys, I will absolutely keep going!

And Sampson: I was on twitter on my phone where I stumbled upon a suggestive photo that sent me into a tailspin, but I immediately turned off my phone and tried but struggled to sleep. And thank you for the list! I've been relying on exercise and cold showers as urge control, but I have been thinking about trying meditation. Any tips?

As far as DAY 39 goes, it was mostly uneventful. Wasn't depressed in a flatline and also wasn't really a raging horniness monster. I got to see Jurassic World with my gf tonight (worth the 3D) and we had an amazing time. Ironically, the complete lack of sex has brought us closer I think, I see her as someone I can really trust and connect with on a personal level. Nothing sprung up though while I kissed her goodbye unfortunately:/ why can't PIED recovery be like a 2 week thing? Oh well, mentally i'm much better off than before 100%.

-SC

DanteKO

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Re: Fight this, you're soldiers
« Reply #49 on: July 03, 2015, 01:32:18 PM »
I was ridiculously close to relapsing last night, it was genuinely terrifying for me. I couldn't sleep and did everything I had to in order to redirect my thoughts. None of it seemed to work so I tried something I honestly haven't done in several months: I prayed. I prayed that God would give me the strength I needed to get through this addiction and the understanding that it will get better, along with prating that my relationship doesn't take a bad turn upon telling my girlfriend about my PIED.

It may seem a little bit hypocritical to post such a religion-heavy message as someone who goes to church maybe once or twice a year, but it did give me strength and I can look back at last night as another success. I'm not going to tell people what to believe or which specific methods would work for them, just wanted to give credit where it was due in basically saving my progress last night.

Keep fighting you guys, no matter what keep fighting

-SC
YES!!!! YOU BEAT THE URGE!!!