Author Topic: Is sexy video conversation with my lover pornography?  (Read 1511 times)

John9889

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Is sexy video conversation with my lover pornography?
« on: May 05, 2014, 10:40:01 AM »
Just curious what the opinions are out there...
 Does anyone think my Skype sex/erotic chat with long-distance fiancee count as "No artificial sexual stimulation during your reboot."?
It is pixels, video, on my computer but she is my lover, a real person.... I'm about 5 weeks into abstinence from pornography (for PIED). Easy, because I am in love with her and she is very erotic. We masturbate together in this way.
One could argue I am "wiring myself to her", but also that I'm just using her instead of pornography.
thoughts?

Gabe Deem

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Re: Is sexy video conversation with my lover pornography?
« Reply #1 on: May 05, 2014, 09:01:20 PM »
@ John9889
Quote
Does anyone think my Skype sex/erotic chat with long-distance fiancee count as "No artificial sexual stimulation during your reboot."?...I'm about 5 weeks into abstinence from pornography (for PIED) One could argue I am "wiring myself to her", but also that I'm just using her instead of pornography.

This is tough. But my advice would say to avoid doing this. You are wiring to pixels and not a person in my opinion. I'll give you my thoughts and you can do with them what you please...

You are trying to reboot so you can have sex with a person, not to be able to masturbate to a picture of a person. You don't get better at basketball by playing NBA Live on Xbox.

Something to think about, most guys with PIED can't get it up with a real partner who is doing the same things they can get it up to while using porn. My girlfriend was more attractive to me than most girls I watched in porn, yet I felt absolutely no arousal when with her. This is about sexually conditioning yourself to a certain form of stimulus. Like Pavlov's dog who would immediately start salivating when he heard a bell ring, because he wired his excitement for food with the sound of a bell.

We are wiring our brains to get sexually excited while looking at a screen, sitting down, touching ourselves. The reality is this is nothing like being with a real girl, and our brains simply don't send the same signals once we condition ourselves over years of porn use.

So I would avoid doing this during a reboot. Just my advice.

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Bibbity

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Re: Is sexy video conversation with my lover pornography?
« Reply #2 on: May 06, 2014, 08:01:35 AM »
I agree with Gabe.  Even though she is someone you know the problem is with the pixels and masturbation.  The porn is not about who the girl is, it's about her being on a screen that is the issue.  This is why my husband could say to me that he thought I was hotter than the girls in porn but couldn't get it up with me.  If I video taped myself doing the same sexy things he would likely have an erection (I didn't try this though).  It really is like Gabe said, you are wired to be stimulated by your hand and a screen, not a real person. 

Anything other than touching a real person would be considered "artificial".
In order to rise from its own ashes, a Phoenix first must burn.”
― Octavia E. Butler

Taka

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Re: Is sexy video conversation with my lover pornography?
« Reply #3 on: May 06, 2014, 09:33:23 AM »
I think it is like with sexting. From my own experience when I was sexting with my girlfriend it was really about fantasy than the real deal. I know this is video but the basics are the same. You are fantasizing about being with her and her touching you which is not quite like the real deal. I mean you are writing about PIED which is not that easy to get rid off in just 5 weeks. You can get it up with her via videochat but can you really get it up when you are in real life contact? That is the question you should think about. I would also recommend not to do it.