Author Topic: new guy to this. 9 days in.  (Read 3249 times)

butternut55

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new guy to this. 9 days in.
« on: March 12, 2014, 12:24:18 AM »
So my story is quite similar in some ways to most people. To start I am a horrible writer so be patient with me.

I have this amazing partner that I love and want to be with. Most of all I want to see her happy. But she is very sexual and I didn't share her needs. I realize now because I was getting that gratification from "other sources". So she felt neglected, and unwanted. I do want her and always have. But not always do I feel sexual around her. So my reboot is coming along fine with a few urges. But pushups seem to help. I'm enjoying the other stories and thank you for sharing.

Gabe Deem

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    I found out the soft way that porn is sex negative
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Re: new guy to this. 9 days in.
« Reply #1 on: March 12, 2014, 01:08:56 AM »
Hey butternut55,

Welcome to RN! Do not worry about your writing skiills man so far it sounds great, and we are NOT the writing club. We are here to listen and give support man.

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Most of all I want to see her happy. But she is very sexual and I didn't share her needs. I realize now because I was getting that gratification from "other sources". So she felt neglected, and unwanted. I do want her and always have. But not always do I feel sexual around her.

I know the feeling man. There is nothing more scary/frustating/embarassing than being with a woman and feeling nothing. Stay patient man, you are in the right place. Hopefully a reboot will bring back a natural libido.

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So my reboot is coming along fine with a few urges. But pushups seem to help.

Glad to hear you are off to a good stay man. Working out is a GREAT way to deal with the stress of withdrawal/cravings as well as a great way to use extra energy. Set some fitness goals (push up goals), it always helped me to make a goal to work towards. I believe there is something intrinsic in men that desires to work towards something. Hope that helps

Much love
Twitter and Instagram @gabedeem. Please consider supporting Reboot Nation on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/gabedeem

fcjl8

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Re: new guy to this. 9 days in.
« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2014, 09:08:38 AM »
Hi butternut,

Abstaining from self pleasure will really help all aspects of your relationship with your partner. You are very lucky to have a loving relationship , cherish that. Getting away from the negative energy of pornography has had a profound effect on the relationship I share with my wife.

timburr

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Re: new guy to this. 9 days in.
« Reply #3 on: March 29, 2014, 11:50:28 PM »
soo true - you love the person you are with, but the f*ckin porn robs you of that.  You end up pushing them away because "its better online".   They then think they have an issue when in fact its us...

You can do it man, keep reading up on everyone else's stories - I know I can relate and its giving me the motivation I need to kick this thing.

uolihp

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Re: new guy to this. 9 days in.
« Reply #4 on: April 03, 2014, 07:33:26 PM »
I hesitated to be in this forum or the 20-29 one, since I'm 29...
I think I'm in the right place since most of you guys seem to be married or in relationships. I am too and I want to stop before porn affect my couple has it might have for you. I feel sad when I read your stories and I hope you'll all get better soon. I had periods when I was not watching any porn (without even restraining myself) and it was the best sex I had and the relation with my wife was at its best too. Maybe porn is not the only cause, but that's one that is in our brain and that we can control.

macondo

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Re: new guy to this. 9 days in.
« Reply #5 on: April 08, 2014, 05:15:26 AM »
Hey ButterNut, I was in the same exact situation (a few times actually), a girl I loved, very sexual, and I pushed her (them) away because of Porn. It's happened at least three times, and I never realized it was the porn until recently. I've been "clean" for about 5 days, and I notice a small difference. I'm def more calm, anxiety free, and I'm starting to get small erections in the morning, which is awesome.

It is a bit scary that my penis feels lifeless throughout the day unless I get some stimuli from a girl flirting or something, but I have faith that this is part of the process. I am a pretty sexual person, and I used to get very strong erections. Hope that returns.

Just sharing my story to show that you're def not alone in this. Thanks all, great site, and thanks for sharing. It helps to read other people's journeys as well.