Author Topic: premature ejaculation, has anyone overcome it?  (Read 2879 times)

Fra888333

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premature ejaculation, has anyone overcome it?
« on: March 30, 2015, 11:16:25 AM »
Hello, my name is Franz, I'm 31 and I'm new here. I've got questions, and I don't know anyone who'd be able to answer, or anyone I can ask.
I've loved women since I was in kindergarden, and I was attracted to their body since elementary school. I begun watching porn regularly when I was about 18, and developed addiction later on, at about 24, when I had a faster internet connection and left my girlfriend. This is what I experienced then: For the 4 previous years I had had regular and beautiful sex with my girlfriend, no stress, no ED or premature ejaculation, I felt secure and she could reach orgasm with me most of the time. Then we separated, and I couldn't find a girlfriend for years: I was alone and felt miserable, and fapped a lot. I was able to approach a girl only at 27, but when we had sex the first time I realized I experienced premature ejaculation. I felt ashamed, because I came almost immediately, and she pointed it out; I realized that time what premature ejaculation was, I had never experienced it before, it was inability to control pleasure, to give to pleasure to her, in a way my body was only able to take pleasure for itself, as quickly as possible. I had some tiny improvements since, I had sex with other girls and I was able to control myself a little better, often depending on my general self-confidence in that period, but I never really got back to the beautiful (now I realize it fully) experience I had with my first girlfriend: sex with no worry of premature ejaculation. I have a girlfriend now, we have sex and sometimes especially at the beginning (when I came out of a serious personal crisis) it was really beautiful for both; but honestly most of the times now it begins beautiful but it ends badly, because I can't control myself. All these years I stopped fapping sometimes, but never more than a 15 days or a month period. Do you think I could get back to no premature ejaculation if I quit for real?
I have another question: often I can go for days without watching porn. I feel the need but I can turn the other way if I don't have other stimuli; the problem is when I go to places with lots of beautiful girls, like the university (I'm taking a second degree for work), then it's like thorns in my guts, tickle all over me, and often when I get back home I relapse to porn because I was aroused outside. But how can I do, should I shut out the world, should I not go out?
Please, if you've had similar experiences, especially the PE tragedy, tell me something or give me advice, thank-you.

Maxime

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Re: premature ejaculation, has anyone overcome it?
« Reply #1 on: March 30, 2015, 04:10:08 PM »
So, first, don't make the mistake of hiding away from the world. Now that this has been said, PE is not fun. I cannot say anything about getting PE from PIED, as I've always had some kind of PE myself, even before getting addicted, but nowadays I manage to get very long sex sessions with my girlfriend, b like an hour, or an hour and a half almost every time. Say some point you understand that you have to vary what you do. Touching, cuddling, and kissing do not have to stop after 15 minutes. They can come back all throughout love making. That being said, of course, I do hope you get to get rid of it.

jkkk

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Re: premature ejaculation, has anyone overcome it?
« Reply #2 on: March 30, 2015, 05:44:25 PM »
Hello, my name is Franz, I'm 31 and I'm new here. I've got questions, and I don't know anyone who'd be able to answer, or anyone I can ask.
I've loved women since I was in kindergarden, and I was attracted to their body since elementary school. I begun watching porn regularly when I was about 18, and developed addiction later on, at about 24, when I had a faster internet connection and left my girlfriend. This is what I experienced then: For the 4 previous years I had had regular and beautiful sex with my girlfriend, no stress, no ED or premature ejaculation, I felt secure and she could reach orgasm with me most of the time. Then we separated, and I couldn't find a girlfriend for years: I was alone and felt miserable, and fapped a lot. I was able to approach a girl only at 27, but when we had sex the first time I realized I experienced premature ejaculation. I felt ashamed, because I came almost immediately, and she pointed it out; I realized that time what premature ejaculation was, I had never experienced it before, it was inability to control pleasure, to give to pleasure to her, in a way my body was only able to take pleasure for itself, as quickly as possible. I had some tiny improvements since, I had sex with other girls and I was able to control myself a little better, often depending on my general self-confidence in that period, but I never really got back to the beautiful (now I realize it fully) experience I had with my first girlfriend: sex with no worry of premature ejaculation. I have a girlfriend now, we have sex and sometimes especially at the beginning (when I came out of a serious personal crisis) it was really beautiful for both; but honestly most of the times now it begins beautiful but it ends badly, because I can't control myself. All these years I stopped fapping sometimes, but never more than a 15 days or a month period. Do you think I could get back to no premature ejaculation if I quit for real?
I have another question: often I can go for days without watching porn. I feel the need but I can turn the other way if I don't have other stimuli; the problem is when I go to places with lots of beautiful girls, like the university (I'm taking a second degree for work), then it's like thorns in my guts, tickle all over me, and often when I get back home I relapse to porn because I was aroused outside. But how can I do, should I shut out the world, should I not go out?
Please, if you've had similar experiences, especially the PE tragedy, tell me something or give me advice, thank-you.

It's quite a hot topic around here.

There are no definite answers, but there are theories where PE is linked to porn addiction, and it is a strange-like sub-specie of PIED. In my view, PE is porn/masturbation induced.

If you go on yourbrainrebalanced.com and type in premature ejaculation, you may find lots of information and testimonies.

To be honest, your case looks great! Why? Because you didn't have PE before the onset of addiction. That is splendid news.

I dare to say it - I'm 99,9% certain that if you do a reboot, the PE will go away.

Myself, I'm having a PE problem and I'm also looking forward to the reboot to relieve me from it. I already experienced incidents of vastly improved fun and pleasure from sex and I'm looking forward to more. That said, it's not a linear thing.

HumbleRich

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Re: premature ejaculation, has anyone overcome it?
« Reply #3 on: March 30, 2015, 06:24:25 PM »
24 days here and sex with my fiancee is simply incredible.  I have only masturbated perhaps three times since I started this reboot (non porn related).  That is three times since I started 24 days ago.  This is coming from a guy who was masturbating 6 to 7 times a day when he was actively PMOing.

My erections are noticeably firmer, stronger and my penis appears bigger.  I don't know whether it has actually changed in size (doubtful), but it definitely looks like there is better blood flow.

The biggest difference I have noticed is that I am having multiple orgasms.  Last night I did ejaculate early and I was worried that that was it and it was over, but instead of stopping, I kept going and my penis remained erect.

So, as far as the subject of premature ejaculation goes, honestly, I still do ejaculate early.  It is something I am trying to stop.  However, what I have found is that even though I do ejaculate early it does not matter as much as it used to.

Back when I was PMOing, ejaculating prematurely meant that sex was over.  It would happen and my cock would immediately go flaccid.  Now, 24 days sober of porn and masturbating, I still get too excited too quick, but my body has learned that once I ejaculate sex isn't over.  Last night I ejaculated three times.

Currently, sex lasts around about fifteen minutes, I would guess (not including foreplay).  My fiancee, J. orgasmed three times last night, and I ejaculated twice (once early, in the beginning, and then again near the end.

I guess my point is that your body will change relatively quickly when you abstain.  There will be noticeable differences.  They may not be absolute, or the types of change you would like to see (ie. no premature ejaculation at all), but they may be lesser, but possibly greater changes (ie. still ejaculate early during sex, but remaining erect so that sex can continue.)
« Last Edit: March 31, 2015, 07:12:14 AM by HumbleRich »

jkkk

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Re: premature ejaculation, has anyone overcome it?
« Reply #4 on: March 31, 2015, 05:22:42 AM »
So, as far as the subject of premature ejaculation goes, honestly, I still do ejaculate early.  It is something I am trying to stop.  However, what I have found is that even though I do ejaculate early it does not matter as much as it used to.

That's also my observation and I'm not sure if that's not really the thing that matters most.

Fra888333

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Re: premature ejaculation, has anyone overcome it?
« Reply #5 on: March 31, 2015, 07:50:35 AM »
Thank-you very much guys. It's helpful. If you have any other PE related experience you'd wanna share please do, it does help.