Author Topic: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 36)  (Read 5535 times)

Mman782

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My 150 day reboot begins (Day 36)
« on: March 11, 2015, 10:36:20 PM »
Hey guys, I'm looking to reboot for 150 days. No Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm, or Real Sex. My struggle started when I was 12, when I masturbated to a girl in a thong in a 50 cent music video. The experience was mind blowing, and I was instantly hooked on masturbation. Although I mastubated regularly, I usually did it in my mind fantasizing about hot celebrities or girls that I thought were hot at school. This eventually led me back to the computer when I was around 13 where I would look at soft porn (women in bikinis, tight clothes, older girls from my high school in bikinis on Facebook). These images would blow my mind and greatly arouse me. I would masturbate to these pictures and fantasize about these women sometimes 3-4 times a day. This sapped all the energy out of me and took away my drive. I may have seen a few pornographic photos between 13-14, but would feel overly guilty for looking at them and stay away for a while. Eventually, soft porn wasn't as satisfying as it had been. I needed and wanted more. When I was 15, I began to watch porn regularly, and wow was it amazing. I had access to any women and to see anything I could possibly imagine them doing. By the time I was 17, on some days, I would sit in my room and masturbate to porn sometimes 5 times a day. This was my low point. I'm a Christian and deep down I knew how wrong it was. I was depressed, and I had lost the majority of my friends in high school, because I simply just wasn't the same person I had been in the past. I played Football and was good at that. This kept me away from porn some. Anyways, I felt miserable and convicted in my heart to quit porn, but how was I suppose to do that? The next year (senior year). I slowly began to watch porn less and things started to get better, but I still couldn't fully stop.

After high school, the summer before college, I went and worked at a Christian camp for the summer. Here is where I experienced my first minor victory over porn. I was greatly encouraged and befriended my many awesome people. While I was there I went 50 days without PMO. During these 50 days I felt amazing. I had feelings that I thought I would never have again return to me. I literally became my old self again, and people liked me again. I was funny. I was friendly. I was me. I had more attraction to women then ever and more confidence to be myself.

Eventually camp ended and college started and I relapsed and have been going back and forth fighting PMO. I've had minor periods where I refrain from PMO but nothing like those 50 days. I am now a Junior in college, and though I know I don't have severe porn induced ED. I know it has affected me.

For example, I notice attractive girls on campus but my body doesn't respond with near as much of a sexual urge as it did when I was 12-16. Another example, I can masturbate without porn but it's not as satisfying or intense as it once was. My erections don't last as long as they used to and they aren't near as strong.

So at this moment I'm on Day 4 of my 150 day reboot. Why 150 days? I donno, I just want to really make sure my body resets sexually. I want sex with my wife some day to feel as natural and innocent and new to me as it normally should. When I make it to day 150, I will set a new goal. Please encourage me and pray for me that I can do this. I will post every 3-4 days about my progress. Good luck to you all!
« Last Edit: April 12, 2015, 03:32:04 PM by Mman782 »

Mman782

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins
« Reply #1 on: March 12, 2015, 01:01:33 PM »
Day 5:

So today has been pretty good so far. Had morning wood this morning and was trying not to fantasize about a girl I've been "talking" with recently. I Studied all last night for a cost accounting exam, and I think I did pretty good on it today.  Going to be busy all day today until around 8 pm. Planning on hanging out with a friend around then. Spring Break starts this weekend. This year I'm just going home to spend time with my family during the break. It's going to be a challenge to make it through the break without some form of PMO. Going to fight it. That will be sort of my mini goal during spring break of this 150 day reboot... To make it through spring break staying busy and obviously staying away from PMO. Looking to spend time focusing on my relationship with Jesus over the break.

I feel good. I feel confident. I can do this.

Mman782

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins
« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2015, 12:55:26 PM »
Day 6:

Still felling and doing good. I talked to my girl for two hours last night on the phone starting to like her a good bit. We'll see how it goes.

As for downstairs, things are going good. Its starting to become more sensitive. I've had more spontaneous erections throughout the day. Every day women are becoming more attractive to me, and I can think more clearly too.

It's going to be a good day.

Mman782

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 7)
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2015, 12:55:01 AM »
Day 6:

Laying in bed bout to go to sleep. Starting to feel the urge slightly to MO. Going to fight it and just go to sleep.

Mman782

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 7)
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2015, 05:17:15 PM »
Day 7:

Still doing good. Currently a week into my 150 day reboot.

Today I woke up real early to help my sister move from her apartment to another. Had to do a lot of heavy lifting today which was alright. I feel like each day my cravings are getting stronger to PMO or MO, but at the same time my drive and desire to talk to the girl that I'm kind of dating is growing too. This is how it should be. My desire for sex should be directed at real women in real life. It should motivate me to meet and get to know many girls until I find my spouse some day. My sexual desire is not meant for a 5 minute fix with a cyber prostitute. I encourage all of you to use your sex drive to motivate you, not to let it enslave you.

From a technical standpoint, my penis is beginning to feel a bit more jittery and sensitive. I've had more spontaneous erections and they're a little bit stronger too. Basically, I'm seeing progress slowly, but surely. My goal is to go until just the sight of a normal attractive chick going about her daily life will give me a rock hard erection like it used to in 8th and 9th grade. I will make it there some day by the grace of God, my healer.

MioMio

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 7)
« Reply #5 on: March 15, 2015, 12:17:04 PM »
Hey there!

Why did you choose 150 days? Are you confident to reach your goal?

I like to divide my reboot up into two week stretches. It's easier and on a mental level, you have more success moments!
Imagining my reboot bar beiing 150 days long, would distress me every single day. But when you look at it and learn that in three days you'll have mastered another stretch, it feels awesome!

Mman782

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 7)
« Reply #6 on: March 16, 2015, 12:59:11 PM »
Hey MioMio, the reason why I chose 150 days is because I really want to make sure my brain resets. I do agree that short term goals are good from psychological standpoint. The way im treating it is 150 days is my major goal, while I set a bunch of mini goals week by week. For instance, my mini goal right now is to make through spring break without MOing. Does that make sense? Good luck on your reboot! 90+ days is very impressive with P!

Mman782

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 7)
« Reply #7 on: March 16, 2015, 01:03:57 PM »
Day 9:

Sorry, I didnt get to post yesterday. I had a minor struggle yesterday. I started
To edge yesterday in the shower, but snapped out of it fast and hopped out of the shower. I feel like I may have set myself back a day or two. So not much damage has been done. I will not play with my dick! Haha

Overall, still doing good! Tomorrow, will be Day 10! Wow! 1/15th of the way there!

MioMio

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 7)
« Reply #8 on: March 16, 2015, 04:46:19 PM »
Hey MioMio, the reason why I chose 150 days is because I really want to make sure my brain resets. I do agree that short term goals are good from psychological standpoint. The way im treating it is 150 days is my major goal, while I set a bunch of mini goals week by week. For instance, my mini goal right now is to make through spring break without MOing. Does that make sense? Good luck on your reboot! 90+ days is very impressive with P!

It does make a lot of sense. Lately, I have been thinking about seeting a main goal too. I might as well gear for 150 days and continue with two week stretches in between.

presson

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 9)
« Reply #9 on: March 17, 2015, 07:48:55 AM »
Hey man. Just read through your posts and I found your progress encouraging. You have a good attitude going about this thing, which is inspiring to me as I've been getting a little jaded of late. Keep powering though! I'll be praying for you.

Mman782

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 17)
« Reply #10 on: March 24, 2015, 11:49:19 PM »
Day 17:

Hey sorry that it's been a while. I had a slip up on day 10. I MO'd which was frustrating but I'm back on track. I don't really have too much of a desire to watch P. At this point I've gone 17 days since I last PMO'd so thats definitely a victory. I'm at a weird stage though now. I think I'm flatlining. Everything just seems to be way out of whack. I'll have hard morning wood and then I'll get up and not feel a thing all day. I feel like I really really want to get aroused but nothing seems to be happening downstairs. Physical stimulation gets me up, but I know that's not a good idea to test myself. Last time I started testing myself, I accidentally MO'd on day 10. It seems as if my brains in withdraw and it's begging me to at least MO to fantasies in my mind. Gotta fight it. Does anyone with experience sort of understand where I'm at right now with flatlining physically, but emotionally and psychologically craving it? Would love some encouragement or to hear someones experience going from flatlining back to normal. Would help alot.
« Last Edit: March 31, 2015, 06:05:35 PM by Mman782 »

mtaha2015

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 17)
« Reply #11 on: March 25, 2015, 05:16:10 AM »
yup it is a victory.
wonderful.
stay strong.

and this flat line will go away with time.
time heals every thing.

Mman782

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 19)
« Reply #12 on: March 26, 2015, 06:25:11 AM »
Day 19:

Flatlining really bad. No morning wood. Feels pretty dead down there. I'm sure I could get an erection if I physically stimulated it but that's obviously not a good idea. This is terrible though. I don't even feel like a man right now.

mtaha2015

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 19)
« Reply #13 on: March 26, 2015, 07:12:35 AM »
I mean something is wrong with your approach towards morning wood.

if you are not getting morning wood , it doesn't makes you a woman !
make this clear in your mind.
looks like a kind of obsession with morning wood.

you are spending too much time thinking about sex and your sexuality.
you have to take yourself out of there.
not good , too much staying in sexy thoughts.

presson

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 19)
« Reply #14 on: March 26, 2015, 11:57:57 AM »
Hey. Good to hear from you again. Good job making it through your rough patch without the use of P, that's a major step forward! I agree with mtaha2015, you'll probably be better of not worrying about any of the physical stuff at this point. It doesn't matter exactly how your body is responding at any given point. A day where you didn't look at P is a victory. Period.

mtaha2015

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 19)
« Reply #15 on: March 26, 2015, 02:28:49 PM »
yeah.
you are right.
but avoiding thoughts will keep you secured against the fall.

Mman782

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 21)
« Reply #16 on: March 28, 2015, 12:58:59 PM »
Still flatlining really bad. I don't have too much motivation, but I know I need to get up and out and not just sit around today. Thanks for all the support so far y'all.

mtaha2015

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 21)
« Reply #17 on: March 28, 2015, 10:05:13 PM »
I am going from the worsts days of my reboot.
high blood pressure.
but I am stick to reboot.
stay strong.

Mman782

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 22)
« Reply #18 on: March 29, 2015, 07:43:29 PM »
Day 22:

Still flatlining. On top of that, I ended things with the girl I've sort have been dating. It really hurts because I liked her, but I really evaluated myself and where I'm at in life, as well as with this reboot and decided that I'm just not currently in a place where I should be in a relationship with a girl. It was best for me and her to stop dating. I feel like a jerk though and like I really hurt her, so there is definitely a depressing feeling that I feel when I think about the whole situation, but I know it was the right decision. I don't need any distractions at this moment in life.

As for the reboot, today's been relatively easy. As I said I'm flatlining so I don't really have a desire for PMO, MO, or even sex. I spent this morning listening to a sermon about finding joy in God, and then reading a book about Joy in the Lord, so that was good.

I read some where that scientifically it takes the brain 18 months to fully recover from porn and masturbation back to a virgin state. My new ultimate supreme goal is now 18 months (after I finish 150 days). That is going to be amazing.

Stay awesome everyone.

Mman782

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 22)
« Reply #19 on: March 30, 2015, 01:33:35 AM »
Dang it. I scrolled through pictures of a maxim model on Google for like 5 minutes. It was just a bunch of bikini pics. I snapped out of it and closed the browser. Didn't edge or MO. Will this set me back??

yoshi

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 22)
« Reply #20 on: March 30, 2015, 02:47:08 AM »
I do not think so.
Be in dulgent with yourself and do not see in every slip a setback in your progress.
You did not watched porn or edged or masturbated.
when you will be done with this challenge you'll have from time to time sexual stimulis like these in your everyday life
and you don't have to blame yourself for that , you just have to be the bigger man and to overcome it .

need to get better

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 22)
« Reply #21 on: March 30, 2015, 08:55:04 AM »
Thanks a lot man. Can I ask tho. Why didn't you keep your girl around. Hanging out with her and cuddling kissing.. all of that stuff can be really good for a reboot I thought?

obber

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 22)
« Reply #22 on: March 30, 2015, 09:01:45 AM »
Mman782,

I'm sure you know best about your situation and you felt that it was right to end things with the girl. I wouldn't argue against your decision.

Strictly from a biological stand point, I do think that having a companion around to share thoughts and exchange affection together is hugely helpful in overcoming addiction though. Oxytocin, the chemical that runs through our brain when we do things like physical touch and intimacy, is known to inhibit the development of tolerance to dopamine desensitization and helps reduce withdrawal symptoms.

Something good to keep in mind! :)

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin)

need to get better

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 22)
« Reply #23 on: March 30, 2015, 09:09:29 AM »
Thanks for that post man. Also when do you think one can have normal sex again?. And should I try sex without orgasm until I'm at 90 days or what?

mtaha2015

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Re: My 150 day reboot begins (Day 22)
« Reply #24 on: March 30, 2015, 09:35:02 AM »
how can I have sex with my own self ?
because I have no one to have touching and intimacy.
And I have no plans either for having relationship in near future.

Can I touch my self to produce that chemical in my brain which creates tolerance to dopamine.

and how can I kiss my self ?
the only way , I think I could is to kiss mirror.