struggling1234
Member
Hi,
Please help me.
Im going to keep this short as possible.
I came across PMO when I was 15 and have been doing it until now, I?m now 21. it was normally just curiosity that made me get into it. Its something which I am ashamed of and always felt guilty about although it never used to give me any issues and I always used to feel refreshed afterwards. Never had sex, virgin. I?m about 9 stones 1 lbs in weight.
Over the years I can tell that I got addicted and I tried several times to leave the P the M and the O but I always failed. I think the longest I got to was 15 days and the urge was crazy for me to resist and because I didn't have any symptoms then I didn't really care or see what it actually was doing to me. I always thought and knew I was doing something bad but I?d always been told at school that there is nothing wrong with PMO and that its good for you.
My normal frequency would be daily, to long edging sessions to release right at the end, I would waste hours going from video to video. Most days were once, occasionally 2 or 3 times in a day and sometimes none in a day but the last two were rare. During the first 4 years everything was fine. It?s just this last year of 2014 at which everything?s gone wrong. At this time my life was hectic, I was working hard on my business from home. University, assignments, my diet was extremely poor now that I think of it. I skipped breakfast or simply had nothing nutritional in my breakfast most days just a cup of tea if I did decide to have anything. Im bombarded by pressure from my parents and brothers high standards.. to get a job etc etc. Now to the story:
Early 2014 I had a flight to catch and that morning I did a PMO with again no breakfast or simply rubbish foods, the pressure of getting to the airport etc. gave me what I now realise looking back - my first taste of a small anxiety/panic attack which lasted about 30 minutes. I got over it quickly and I was running back to normal with the constant lifestyle and PMO. no post pmo symptoms.
Prior to the start of June I had exams and the poor lifestyle continued. Prior to my Exam in the morning, as usual, did a PMO which resulted in me almost having to run out of the exam which now looking back at again was a result of the PMO. I don?t know how but I managed to sit through the exam and ended up getting an A+ grade surprising?
My PMO and lifestyle continued after this and I had no issues and once again was back to normal. Looking back I should have taken these as crucial signs as to my body simply getting warn out but I didn?t notice or care at the time. At no point in time did I think or care what caused these issues and simply put it down to nerves.
At this point I had been on holiday for a month and a half. Fast-forwarding until June of 2014; 2 weeks prior to restarting University. The PMO continued without any issues or symptoms, looking back now I can see that my health started to decline as I got closer to what I call the crisis which took place in July of 2014.
I had decided to go on a fast for a few days which didn?t include PMO but on the fifth day of fast in the morning I ended up PMO?ing. Later that night I had to go to hospital for no apparent reason. I had headache, low mood, dry skin, fatigue, shaking, hot and cold flashes, abdominal discomfort, my heart beat and BP was all over the place. I was told nothing was wrong and that it was dehydration. I was put on saline and was sent home. What I do notice looking at my blood work from that day is that my potassium was on the higher end and my sodium was quite low which made me thing about adrenal fatigue or Addison?s disease etc. but ill talk about that later. So this experience seemed to have increased my anxiety. But looking back it seemed that my body was constantly being drained of vital nutrients over time leading up to the event due to constant PMO.
After returning from the hospital it took much longer for me to get my health back, and I didn?t PMO for about 3 weeks into uni and I was fatigued, tired and stressed, quite amazing how you don't think of PMO when your really tired and sick. I happened to start feeling better abstaining from the PMO which at that time I again didn?t realise. After I managed to feel better and my body starting to feel better I was Back to the PMO lifestyle. After the next few PMO?s that was it, my body gave in extreme headaches, couldn?t move from my bedroom to my brothers room. Fatigue, eye floaters, brain fog, weak muscles, dry skin, nausea, abdominal discomfort you name it.
I ended up going to my doctor who checked for things like parasites, celiac disease. But didn?t find anything, he told me to come back if things didn't improve but I didn?t end up going back, this was in September last year, but more on that later. When he told me they couldn?t find anything wrong with me over the phone a few days later the severe anxiety set in because I didn?t know what was happening to me and why I was so tired and fatigued with all these symptoms that wouldn't go away and the worry that I would be this burnt-out for the rest of my life because nothing was getting better. I think at this stage maybe I did develop an anxiety problem caused from my poor health and constant worry that I wouldn?t be able to please a women.
That night I did another PMO and the following morning another one right after probably to get away from the worry and the second time there was no sperm which came out I was dry. Literally nothing. A few hours later that day and that PMO sessions literally sent me into severe anxiety, insomnia, crying at night, anorexia (unable to eat), and decreased appetite, sex drive and libido had fully gone. The majority of those symptoms lasted about a week and a half to 2 weeks when I researched online and I came across YBOP and reditt etc. and it just made so much sense; everything seemed to click and I thought rite I?ll do the reboot and I?ll be fine. it gave me so much hope. It was 5 years of non-stop PMO, porn addiction, masturbation addiction all adding up. I used to PMO to any emotional feeling I felt sad, happy, excited, to waste time from boredom, tiredness etc.
I decided to reboot. I decided to lower all stressors and since I was now back on holiday there was no university. I started having good breakfast, eggs, seeds, dates etc left all sugary processed foods, just improved my lifestyle on a whole and started sleeping earlier. Over the first reboot it made a huge difference. Remember during my first reboot I didn't create an account on RN or YBOP. But I read so many stories which gave me courage and strength whilst helping me keep going.
I ended up doing roughly 110 days free from PMO cold turkey on my first go. This did however include fantasizing and watching youtube clips, butts, boobs etc and edging towards the end which ill talk about later on. The first 2 weeks of it I experience massive withdrawal symptoms, all the ones you can think of anxiety, insomnia etc etc. It was soooo horrible. I was in a massive flatline, no penis response, no morning erections.
The symptoms gradually decreased and improved up until day 43 which I noticed a major change and I slowly started seeing morning erections and sensitivity in the penis. Depression had gone after about the 3rd week into it but the Severe Anxiety remained. Everything seemed to be getting better and I was feeling better and better as the days went by.
At about days 50 or so the anxiety lifted off and I was back to my normal self with only very minor symptoms such as lethargy, small headaches, tiredness etc.
Day 75 arrived when I had my first wet dream and I felt amazing after it. I hadn't had a wet dream in I don't know how long. Post wet dream I had No anxiety and no other symptoms, the wet dream didn't slow down the recovery at all and the reboot continued. it gave me so much courage knowing that the orgasm gave me no symptoms. everything had cleared and I experienced no post wet dream orgasm ejaculation symptoms. Every day I was having morning wood. I felt amazing. Almost back to normal. Confidence was returning, morning woods were back, voice was deeper, all positive.
I continued the reboot for another 20 or so days and I promised myself to continue the reboot and do no more PMO related activities ever again but I was na?ve and somehow ended up back to edging which I did for about 11 days without orgasm just P & M. The thought of being and feeling cured led me back to the edging, the edging was so intense and I gave in and orgasmed & ejaculated a huge amount whilst lying down edging to my phone in bed (the edging sessions were literally waking up in the morning from sleep and before going to sleep for a few hours for 11 days prior to caving in and ejaculating). The thing that triggered it was seeing news of a new pornstar on facebook and my brain was like I have to see this I have to see this. I felt fine after that orgasm as I but did feel guilty of letting myself relapse. I didn?t have symptoms so I slept well through the night. This first reboot did include lots of fantasies and long edging sessions towards the end so it wasn?t a pure reboot.
The following day I felt a little lethargic but I thought that?s fine none of the symptoms have returned. I was happy, everything seemed cured I was back to normal, little did I know come 7pm when I started to have dinner, I was happily talking to a family member and then something in my brain flicked a switched and bam my anxiety returned right there and then out of nowhere. social anxiety was back as well. Anxiety and the other symptoms had been gone for over a 1 month and a bit and I was feeling so good but there it was again returned due to PMO. I had to get out of the room because I new the PMO had caused the symptoms to return. luckily I had eaten most of my food so nothing looked fishy to my family members the headaches returned and the lethargy, and low moods and the fluctuating energy levels. But this time no loss of appetite or insomnia. This time it wasn?t however as severe as the first time, But still very bad. The only time I had insomnia was the period I mentioned earlier prior to my first reboot. And some during the withdrawal phases of the first reboot.
As a result I started another reboot from the next morning and it has now been 28 days PMO free and this time I have eliminated any form of sexual thought as well as not looking at women on the street. The first 20 days were tough with anxiety, if there?s no anxiety then depressed mood, or fatigue, lethargy. But it?s taken much less time to start feeling a little bit better than the first reboot which I?m taking as a positive sign. The first reboot i saw major improvements after about 43 days. This time its getting a lot better after about 20 days. I hope it all goes away and I?m thinking of going as long as I can this time without any form of sexual thought or activity. I will never P, M or O ever again in my life only through natural means i.e wet dreams and real sex. I have only incorrectly ejaculated 1 time over the last 140 or so days which was through PMO and it was a major relapse that bought back a lot of my symptoms.
What I have noticed over the last 150 days or so is that a lot of my anxiety always however tends to go away after 6pm and my energy levels drastically increase after that time. During the days it?s very tough and I feel fatigued and the energy levels are low, but after 6pm it?s like I get a second wind of energy and I feel fine. I also have noticed that I crave more salt. And I?m thirstier. In the early stages of the reboot I also noticed dryer skin. And I have dry skin patches behind my ear. Do you think this could be adrenal fatigue or insufficiency? Maybe my adrenals can no longer produce cortisol properly? or are so wasted from constant adrenaline rushes from the PMO. I do notice that prior to watching P I always had this massive adrenal rushes that i would experience even whilst changing from video to video. I also notice that when I last PMO?d and times before that towards the latter years I used to get a rush of adrenaline similar to when you get frightened rather than a pleasure feeling when I used to look at PMO. Do you think looking at porn and over masturbation can cause these issues because it?s different from normal sex? maybe its fatiguing my adrenals every time I look and do PMO. and these symptoms wont happen from real sex.
Also like to say that my hair has gradually started to fall out from the very first incident and is very very brittle. Its receding much faster. I also have twitching muscles between the anus and scrotum area similar to when you have an eye twitch. im not sure what's that caused by but I've had that for a few years prior to all these issues starting.
I also noticed that over the last year prior to all this started I notice I have a varicocele on my left testicle, it?s not too big but it is visible and you can feel it when the scrotum is soft and warm. I did read somewhere that a varicocele can cause the testicle to overheat which results in low testosterone and poor sperm production, thus resulting in symptoms similar to the ones I experienced. Could this be causing problems for me such as anxiety after orgasm or ejaculation? Maybe testosterone drops too low?
I have not taken any supplements and am not sure if I should as I?m not a fan of popping pills etc. My first reboot I didn't take any form of supplements except a protein shake every now and then. it was mostly a lifestyle change.
I need to fix my body because I want to get married soon and my parents will push me to get married in the next year or two. and they don't know about my issues. what worries me more is that what if I do feel better rebooting and get married and the symptoms return after I have sex with her? Im pretty much back in a flatline but I don?t have problems with erections at the moment I think. I could get one if I really fantasised or saw a naked girl. Its only when I ejaculate or orgasm that creates issues of mainly anxiety. I feel so bad that I've ruined my body and the thought of this makes me feel down.
During the first reboot ive noticed that my confidence; voice have all also improved during my first reboot.
I haven?t had real sex so don?t know if I would have symptoms after that form of Orgasm. Same goes for masturbation without porn, haven?t tried that either. And when I do orgasm/ejaculate through masturbation it?s normally after a long edging session with death grips.
And why it is that wet dreams don?t give me any symptoms? Could it be a psychological thing that after years of shame, guilt, abuse its all manifested to cause these problems. or have I simply burnt out my central nervous system from excess PMO causing sexual exhaustion which is causing adrenal fatigue.
on a side note another pressurising and stressfull experience has just happened in my life over the past few weeks, Because of my issues a girl I used to like a lot just got married to someone else and that?s put more pressure and stress on my delicate brain. I feel so down and bad about this (although me and her were always fighting and she never was really into me but I loved her heaps) I think I used her to make myself feel better and get away from my problems similar to how I used PMO as an escape as well, this stupid PMO made me a clingy boring guy. its adding to the depressive thoughts and anxiety imagining her with another guy. I know she wasn't good for me but its just so hard to get over someone who you liked so much, someone you saw your future with and its ruining and playing with my mood over the last week
This has just made things worse. I'm trying to convince myself that everything's going to be okay. I fear I can?t get a girl now because I won?t be able to satisfy her but my parents will push me to get married in about a year or maybe 2 years? time. Another thing worrying me is that Ill now have performance anxiety when I do end up getting with a women and the fact that im not sure ill be able to get over my ex although she really wasn't my ex or even into me. I fear what itll be like having to see her around with her new husband
All these problems have simply added up in my life all slowly at once over the last 6 months and im struggling to cope with it all. I haven't talked to anyone about this. its all been bottled up inside and I think I just need to talk to you guys about it. My family wont understand and will get angry if they found out all my problems and how PMO has caused it. I don't have anyone to talk to about it. You guys are the first people I am telling, along with dr Richards and the folks over at YBOP. I?m struggling and the second setback after the relapse has hit my confidence hard along with the stupid bitch of a girl who left me.
Sorry for such a long story and the poor grammar im just to tired to proof read this.
I know I have asked some questions above but I have tried to summarise them below:
1. Is this sexual exhaustion where my nervous systems are so battered from all the PMO?
2. How do I regain the ability to have no symptoms a day after ejaculation which last so long? In other words how to I go back to being normal? (Im sure if I did more O?s at once the symptoms would be much more severe)
3. Should I go to the doctor again? I have resisted as he will probably prescribe me SSRI?s or something which will not solve the problem.
4. Why is there no symptoms after a wet dream but only when I PMO?
5. Should I have my bloods done to see if there are any deficiencies?
6. Could the varicocele and low testosterone be a possible cause for a crash a day after PMO?
7. Could I have adrenal fatigue, Addison?s disease adrenal insufficiency or some sort of thyroid problem? Perhaps the adrenals are being pushed to their limits and can?t work properly from so much stress caused to them over time? (thyroid problems run in my family)
8. If in the first reboot I noticed so much improvement what do you people advise?
9. Are there any similar conditions to mine?
10. Have people recovered?
11. Does it seem I have a Porn and Masturbation Addiction which has caused brain changes over the years which are know manifesting as anxiety and other symptoms. How long will I need to reboot for to cure my self?
12. what worries me more is that what if I do feel better rebooting and get married and the symptoms return after I have sex with her? but why doesn't a wet dream give me no problems then?
Please help
From an extremely exhausted, tired and worried person - hence the name struggling1234
Please help me.
Im going to keep this short as possible.
I came across PMO when I was 15 and have been doing it until now, I?m now 21. it was normally just curiosity that made me get into it. Its something which I am ashamed of and always felt guilty about although it never used to give me any issues and I always used to feel refreshed afterwards. Never had sex, virgin. I?m about 9 stones 1 lbs in weight.
Over the years I can tell that I got addicted and I tried several times to leave the P the M and the O but I always failed. I think the longest I got to was 15 days and the urge was crazy for me to resist and because I didn't have any symptoms then I didn't really care or see what it actually was doing to me. I always thought and knew I was doing something bad but I?d always been told at school that there is nothing wrong with PMO and that its good for you.
My normal frequency would be daily, to long edging sessions to release right at the end, I would waste hours going from video to video. Most days were once, occasionally 2 or 3 times in a day and sometimes none in a day but the last two were rare. During the first 4 years everything was fine. It?s just this last year of 2014 at which everything?s gone wrong. At this time my life was hectic, I was working hard on my business from home. University, assignments, my diet was extremely poor now that I think of it. I skipped breakfast or simply had nothing nutritional in my breakfast most days just a cup of tea if I did decide to have anything. Im bombarded by pressure from my parents and brothers high standards.. to get a job etc etc. Now to the story:
Early 2014 I had a flight to catch and that morning I did a PMO with again no breakfast or simply rubbish foods, the pressure of getting to the airport etc. gave me what I now realise looking back - my first taste of a small anxiety/panic attack which lasted about 30 minutes. I got over it quickly and I was running back to normal with the constant lifestyle and PMO. no post pmo symptoms.
Prior to the start of June I had exams and the poor lifestyle continued. Prior to my Exam in the morning, as usual, did a PMO which resulted in me almost having to run out of the exam which now looking back at again was a result of the PMO. I don?t know how but I managed to sit through the exam and ended up getting an A+ grade surprising?
My PMO and lifestyle continued after this and I had no issues and once again was back to normal. Looking back I should have taken these as crucial signs as to my body simply getting warn out but I didn?t notice or care at the time. At no point in time did I think or care what caused these issues and simply put it down to nerves.
At this point I had been on holiday for a month and a half. Fast-forwarding until June of 2014; 2 weeks prior to restarting University. The PMO continued without any issues or symptoms, looking back now I can see that my health started to decline as I got closer to what I call the crisis which took place in July of 2014.
I had decided to go on a fast for a few days which didn?t include PMO but on the fifth day of fast in the morning I ended up PMO?ing. Later that night I had to go to hospital for no apparent reason. I had headache, low mood, dry skin, fatigue, shaking, hot and cold flashes, abdominal discomfort, my heart beat and BP was all over the place. I was told nothing was wrong and that it was dehydration. I was put on saline and was sent home. What I do notice looking at my blood work from that day is that my potassium was on the higher end and my sodium was quite low which made me thing about adrenal fatigue or Addison?s disease etc. but ill talk about that later. So this experience seemed to have increased my anxiety. But looking back it seemed that my body was constantly being drained of vital nutrients over time leading up to the event due to constant PMO.
After returning from the hospital it took much longer for me to get my health back, and I didn?t PMO for about 3 weeks into uni and I was fatigued, tired and stressed, quite amazing how you don't think of PMO when your really tired and sick. I happened to start feeling better abstaining from the PMO which at that time I again didn?t realise. After I managed to feel better and my body starting to feel better I was Back to the PMO lifestyle. After the next few PMO?s that was it, my body gave in extreme headaches, couldn?t move from my bedroom to my brothers room. Fatigue, eye floaters, brain fog, weak muscles, dry skin, nausea, abdominal discomfort you name it.
I ended up going to my doctor who checked for things like parasites, celiac disease. But didn?t find anything, he told me to come back if things didn't improve but I didn?t end up going back, this was in September last year, but more on that later. When he told me they couldn?t find anything wrong with me over the phone a few days later the severe anxiety set in because I didn?t know what was happening to me and why I was so tired and fatigued with all these symptoms that wouldn't go away and the worry that I would be this burnt-out for the rest of my life because nothing was getting better. I think at this stage maybe I did develop an anxiety problem caused from my poor health and constant worry that I wouldn?t be able to please a women.
That night I did another PMO and the following morning another one right after probably to get away from the worry and the second time there was no sperm which came out I was dry. Literally nothing. A few hours later that day and that PMO sessions literally sent me into severe anxiety, insomnia, crying at night, anorexia (unable to eat), and decreased appetite, sex drive and libido had fully gone. The majority of those symptoms lasted about a week and a half to 2 weeks when I researched online and I came across YBOP and reditt etc. and it just made so much sense; everything seemed to click and I thought rite I?ll do the reboot and I?ll be fine. it gave me so much hope. It was 5 years of non-stop PMO, porn addiction, masturbation addiction all adding up. I used to PMO to any emotional feeling I felt sad, happy, excited, to waste time from boredom, tiredness etc.
I decided to reboot. I decided to lower all stressors and since I was now back on holiday there was no university. I started having good breakfast, eggs, seeds, dates etc left all sugary processed foods, just improved my lifestyle on a whole and started sleeping earlier. Over the first reboot it made a huge difference. Remember during my first reboot I didn't create an account on RN or YBOP. But I read so many stories which gave me courage and strength whilst helping me keep going.
I ended up doing roughly 110 days free from PMO cold turkey on my first go. This did however include fantasizing and watching youtube clips, butts, boobs etc and edging towards the end which ill talk about later on. The first 2 weeks of it I experience massive withdrawal symptoms, all the ones you can think of anxiety, insomnia etc etc. It was soooo horrible. I was in a massive flatline, no penis response, no morning erections.
The symptoms gradually decreased and improved up until day 43 which I noticed a major change and I slowly started seeing morning erections and sensitivity in the penis. Depression had gone after about the 3rd week into it but the Severe Anxiety remained. Everything seemed to be getting better and I was feeling better and better as the days went by.
At about days 50 or so the anxiety lifted off and I was back to my normal self with only very minor symptoms such as lethargy, small headaches, tiredness etc.
Day 75 arrived when I had my first wet dream and I felt amazing after it. I hadn't had a wet dream in I don't know how long. Post wet dream I had No anxiety and no other symptoms, the wet dream didn't slow down the recovery at all and the reboot continued. it gave me so much courage knowing that the orgasm gave me no symptoms. everything had cleared and I experienced no post wet dream orgasm ejaculation symptoms. Every day I was having morning wood. I felt amazing. Almost back to normal. Confidence was returning, morning woods were back, voice was deeper, all positive.
I continued the reboot for another 20 or so days and I promised myself to continue the reboot and do no more PMO related activities ever again but I was na?ve and somehow ended up back to edging which I did for about 11 days without orgasm just P & M. The thought of being and feeling cured led me back to the edging, the edging was so intense and I gave in and orgasmed & ejaculated a huge amount whilst lying down edging to my phone in bed (the edging sessions were literally waking up in the morning from sleep and before going to sleep for a few hours for 11 days prior to caving in and ejaculating). The thing that triggered it was seeing news of a new pornstar on facebook and my brain was like I have to see this I have to see this. I felt fine after that orgasm as I but did feel guilty of letting myself relapse. I didn?t have symptoms so I slept well through the night. This first reboot did include lots of fantasies and long edging sessions towards the end so it wasn?t a pure reboot.
The following day I felt a little lethargic but I thought that?s fine none of the symptoms have returned. I was happy, everything seemed cured I was back to normal, little did I know come 7pm when I started to have dinner, I was happily talking to a family member and then something in my brain flicked a switched and bam my anxiety returned right there and then out of nowhere. social anxiety was back as well. Anxiety and the other symptoms had been gone for over a 1 month and a bit and I was feeling so good but there it was again returned due to PMO. I had to get out of the room because I new the PMO had caused the symptoms to return. luckily I had eaten most of my food so nothing looked fishy to my family members the headaches returned and the lethargy, and low moods and the fluctuating energy levels. But this time no loss of appetite or insomnia. This time it wasn?t however as severe as the first time, But still very bad. The only time I had insomnia was the period I mentioned earlier prior to my first reboot. And some during the withdrawal phases of the first reboot.
As a result I started another reboot from the next morning and it has now been 28 days PMO free and this time I have eliminated any form of sexual thought as well as not looking at women on the street. The first 20 days were tough with anxiety, if there?s no anxiety then depressed mood, or fatigue, lethargy. But it?s taken much less time to start feeling a little bit better than the first reboot which I?m taking as a positive sign. The first reboot i saw major improvements after about 43 days. This time its getting a lot better after about 20 days. I hope it all goes away and I?m thinking of going as long as I can this time without any form of sexual thought or activity. I will never P, M or O ever again in my life only through natural means i.e wet dreams and real sex. I have only incorrectly ejaculated 1 time over the last 140 or so days which was through PMO and it was a major relapse that bought back a lot of my symptoms.
What I have noticed over the last 150 days or so is that a lot of my anxiety always however tends to go away after 6pm and my energy levels drastically increase after that time. During the days it?s very tough and I feel fatigued and the energy levels are low, but after 6pm it?s like I get a second wind of energy and I feel fine. I also have noticed that I crave more salt. And I?m thirstier. In the early stages of the reboot I also noticed dryer skin. And I have dry skin patches behind my ear. Do you think this could be adrenal fatigue or insufficiency? Maybe my adrenals can no longer produce cortisol properly? or are so wasted from constant adrenaline rushes from the PMO. I do notice that prior to watching P I always had this massive adrenal rushes that i would experience even whilst changing from video to video. I also notice that when I last PMO?d and times before that towards the latter years I used to get a rush of adrenaline similar to when you get frightened rather than a pleasure feeling when I used to look at PMO. Do you think looking at porn and over masturbation can cause these issues because it?s different from normal sex? maybe its fatiguing my adrenals every time I look and do PMO. and these symptoms wont happen from real sex.
Also like to say that my hair has gradually started to fall out from the very first incident and is very very brittle. Its receding much faster. I also have twitching muscles between the anus and scrotum area similar to when you have an eye twitch. im not sure what's that caused by but I've had that for a few years prior to all these issues starting.
I also noticed that over the last year prior to all this started I notice I have a varicocele on my left testicle, it?s not too big but it is visible and you can feel it when the scrotum is soft and warm. I did read somewhere that a varicocele can cause the testicle to overheat which results in low testosterone and poor sperm production, thus resulting in symptoms similar to the ones I experienced. Could this be causing problems for me such as anxiety after orgasm or ejaculation? Maybe testosterone drops too low?
I have not taken any supplements and am not sure if I should as I?m not a fan of popping pills etc. My first reboot I didn't take any form of supplements except a protein shake every now and then. it was mostly a lifestyle change.
I need to fix my body because I want to get married soon and my parents will push me to get married in the next year or two. and they don't know about my issues. what worries me more is that what if I do feel better rebooting and get married and the symptoms return after I have sex with her? Im pretty much back in a flatline but I don?t have problems with erections at the moment I think. I could get one if I really fantasised or saw a naked girl. Its only when I ejaculate or orgasm that creates issues of mainly anxiety. I feel so bad that I've ruined my body and the thought of this makes me feel down.
During the first reboot ive noticed that my confidence; voice have all also improved during my first reboot.
I haven?t had real sex so don?t know if I would have symptoms after that form of Orgasm. Same goes for masturbation without porn, haven?t tried that either. And when I do orgasm/ejaculate through masturbation it?s normally after a long edging session with death grips.
And why it is that wet dreams don?t give me any symptoms? Could it be a psychological thing that after years of shame, guilt, abuse its all manifested to cause these problems. or have I simply burnt out my central nervous system from excess PMO causing sexual exhaustion which is causing adrenal fatigue.
on a side note another pressurising and stressfull experience has just happened in my life over the past few weeks, Because of my issues a girl I used to like a lot just got married to someone else and that?s put more pressure and stress on my delicate brain. I feel so down and bad about this (although me and her were always fighting and she never was really into me but I loved her heaps) I think I used her to make myself feel better and get away from my problems similar to how I used PMO as an escape as well, this stupid PMO made me a clingy boring guy. its adding to the depressive thoughts and anxiety imagining her with another guy. I know she wasn't good for me but its just so hard to get over someone who you liked so much, someone you saw your future with and its ruining and playing with my mood over the last week
This has just made things worse. I'm trying to convince myself that everything's going to be okay. I fear I can?t get a girl now because I won?t be able to satisfy her but my parents will push me to get married in about a year or maybe 2 years? time. Another thing worrying me is that Ill now have performance anxiety when I do end up getting with a women and the fact that im not sure ill be able to get over my ex although she really wasn't my ex or even into me. I fear what itll be like having to see her around with her new husband All these problems have simply added up in my life all slowly at once over the last 6 months and im struggling to cope with it all. I haven't talked to anyone about this. its all been bottled up inside and I think I just need to talk to you guys about it. My family wont understand and will get angry if they found out all my problems and how PMO has caused it. I don't have anyone to talk to about it. You guys are the first people I am telling, along with dr Richards and the folks over at YBOP. I?m struggling and the second setback after the relapse has hit my confidence hard along with the stupid bitch of a girl who left me.
Sorry for such a long story and the poor grammar im just to tired to proof read this.
I know I have asked some questions above but I have tried to summarise them below:
1. Is this sexual exhaustion where my nervous systems are so battered from all the PMO?
2. How do I regain the ability to have no symptoms a day after ejaculation which last so long? In other words how to I go back to being normal? (Im sure if I did more O?s at once the symptoms would be much more severe)
3. Should I go to the doctor again? I have resisted as he will probably prescribe me SSRI?s or something which will not solve the problem.
4. Why is there no symptoms after a wet dream but only when I PMO?
5. Should I have my bloods done to see if there are any deficiencies?
6. Could the varicocele and low testosterone be a possible cause for a crash a day after PMO?
7. Could I have adrenal fatigue, Addison?s disease adrenal insufficiency or some sort of thyroid problem? Perhaps the adrenals are being pushed to their limits and can?t work properly from so much stress caused to them over time? (thyroid problems run in my family)
8. If in the first reboot I noticed so much improvement what do you people advise?
9. Are there any similar conditions to mine?
10. Have people recovered?
11. Does it seem I have a Porn and Masturbation Addiction which has caused brain changes over the years which are know manifesting as anxiety and other symptoms. How long will I need to reboot for to cure my self?
12. what worries me more is that what if I do feel better rebooting and get married and the symptoms return after I have sex with her? but why doesn't a wet dream give me no problems then?
Please help
From an extremely exhausted, tired and worried person - hence the name struggling1234
