Author Topic: Edging bad today... Need some support  (Read 3363 times)

Mbg

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Edging bad today... Need some support
« on: February 04, 2015, 06:36:33 PM »
I suppose I have become somewhat complacent in my recovery lately.  I've been falling into old ways today.  The last couple days I have started to fantasize some.  Today it culminated into spending wha must have been the better part of an hour looking at "modeling" pictures.  It might as well have been an adult site.  I managed to snap myself put of this trance without MOing so I feel good about that but I feel like maybe there's something I'm not addressing.  I've been having a seemingly good day and I'm not entirely sure where this all set in.  Just needing a little communal support and words of encouragement, I don't want to go back into my addiction. 

Pr3c1se

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Re: Edging bad today... Need some support
« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2015, 09:13:54 PM »
Hey Buddy!  Well the good news is, you were looking at these "triggers" and they didn't cause you to PMO.  That certainly is progress!! (remember what you probably would have done before?) You even noticed you were looking at them and decided to stop. That's great!  You noticed the problem and stopped it.  Just don't repeat it again.  Learn from this. 

Same with fantasies.  They happen to everyone.  You need to associate this with " BAD!" and immediately stop it.  That's the only way you'll learn.   Don't feel bad about having these fantasies, only regret if you notice you're having them and you decide not to stop yourself.

Recovery is little steps, and constant progress.  There's no leap to victory.
« Last Edit: February 04, 2015, 09:16:17 PM by Pr3c1se »

Mbg

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Re: Edging bad today... Need some support
« Reply #2 on: February 04, 2015, 11:08:59 PM »
Thanks Precise!

I am trying to work through the shame I feel.  Shame from situations like this only exasperate the addictive behavior and I begin rationalizing my behavior to myself.  "What's the worst that could happen?" "I can just do it and keep it a secret like the good ol days".  I was testing the waters today and it nearly swept me under.  I will work on trying to steer away from triggers and tell someone when I'm feeling down (feelings of loniless and depression are major triggers for me).  I really felt like I was isolating myself today.  I wanted to hold onto my secrets and let on as though I was feeling great. 

Yuri

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Re: Edging bad today... Need some support
« Reply #3 on: February 05, 2015, 01:26:54 AM »
Get a cold shower!

Reformed Fapper

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Re: Edging bad today... Need some support
« Reply #4 on: February 05, 2015, 04:25:32 AM »
Now you know how your triggers can sneak up on you. Sneaky little bastards they is.
If your brain tries to trick you or lure you into looking at porn, kick it in the testes.

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Un-fuck your life, quit porn now! Today!

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Re: Edging bad today... Need some support
« Reply #5 on: February 05, 2015, 05:53:03 AM »
Hey Mbg, don't you dare let us down once more. .-P
Referring to your posts, you're one of the backbones of this forum. You might want to get that good ol' rubber band on your wrist!

Brooklyn Jerry

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Re: Edging bad today... Need some support
« Reply #6 on: February 05, 2015, 07:53:57 AM »
Stay away from triggers. I messed up last week after six months. Imdid eye a few times in those six months, but never ejaculated. Then last week, imwas home alone,it was snowing and I knew imwasnt going to,see my lady that night. I went to my favorite site,looked at some vides,then did a search for something imused in the past. I know I shouldn't have done it,but before I knew it it was too. Since then I found that doing so set me back in my fight against PIED. When with my lady the next two times things worked but not,like,they had been. I must make up my mind that feeling good when alone is not worth messing up sex with my partner.

Mbg

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Re: Edging bad today... Need some support
« Reply #7 on: February 05, 2015, 05:40:03 PM »
Thanks everyone for your words on encouragement.  Today has been a much better day for me.  I  definitely going to take better care of myself, I feel that stress and depression was a factor in this recent episode.  The weather here in Washington state has been nothing but rain and grey for a week straight... Hard on the ol mental state...

Leon

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Re: Edging bad today... Need some support
« Reply #8 on: February 05, 2015, 11:21:54 PM »
Stress and depression are opportunities for you to shine!

Think on what led up to recent events, plan for similar events in the future- but see yourself handling the stress in different ways and changing your mind from depression. You can do this, MBG!

Notice mood swings, notice isolation- the earlier you catch it, the easier it will be to stop it.

Bury this thing in the past! I believe in you, brother.

Mbg

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Re: Edging bad today... Need some support
« Reply #9 on: February 08, 2015, 05:11:33 PM »
In a bad spot yet again today, man this is crazy.  I logged into Facebook and looked at pictures of bikini baristas.  Still, no MO, but I need to get a handle on this. 

Leon

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Re: Edging bad today... Need some support
« Reply #10 on: February 08, 2015, 08:36:47 PM »
Yes, MBG- as soon as possible. It's a slippery slope once we allow things, once we give in a little, it becomes easier and easier.

Now's the time to grab the moment, snap out of it however's the best way for you to do so. Don't try to grab the tiger by the ears, but fight by not-fighting it. It's not about avoiding PMO, it's about not even thinking about it. Fill your time, your mind and your energy with something else...

You can do this, you can leave this crap in the rear-view mirror of your life.

Pr3c1se

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Re: Edging bad today... Need some support
« Reply #11 on: February 08, 2015, 09:05:20 PM »
Dive into a book, lord knows you waste hours when you PMO... why not "waste" that time diving into a good read?

It seems you need to learn a method for dealing with stress besides PMOing or even just fantasizing.  That's the problem most of us had, we turned to this garbage due to stress, or just being sad.  It's a cheap thrill, ITS FREE, and it's so easy to consume.   

You have to find other things to go to when you are feeling these things.  I've chosen to read and I love it.

Mbg

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Re: Edging bad today... Need some support
« Reply #12 on: February 08, 2015, 11:32:27 PM »
Yes I have a plethora of healthy behaviors I enjoy.  I like to write, draw, paint, play music, and read.  The thing I suppose I've been struggling with is just really focusing on one or more of these behaviors.  Today, what helped get me through was writing some music.  Time seems to fly when I'm writing music.  Thanks all!

Leon

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Re: Edging bad today... Need some support
« Reply #13 on: February 09, 2015, 12:46:33 AM »
Excellent job, MBG.

Vincent

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Re: Edging bad today... Need some support
« Reply #14 on: February 09, 2015, 08:58:50 AM »
you can do it. It is the first 3 days after one tries to navigate out of a tight spot, like you have been into. I had this many times. You can control the point of no return but you cannot control yourself from walking on the edge. After I looked ad sexypics or comparable stuff, it always took me 3 days to snap out of it. The first day I did not use my pc or phone. The second I worked a lot or went outside. The third i Used my PC in public places only. After those 3 days normally you are back down to earth again and standing on both feet. You can do it.

With PMO out of question, here's my P & PM Spreadsheet

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Re: Edging bad today... Need some support
« Reply #15 on: February 09, 2015, 10:00:59 AM »
My thoughts are with you, Mbg. My anxiety has also increased during the last days and there were some close shaves. But I'm trying my best to remind myself of the strength that has taken me so far. You've fought this before, so you can do it again.

Mbg

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Re: Edging bad today... Need some support
« Reply #16 on: February 09, 2015, 06:16:18 PM »
Thanks everyone! It really means a lot.  I'm happy to say that despite having a really rough night of sleep with two sick little kids, I'm having a much better day today.  Was in fantasy briefly this morning but have found the strength to give the fantasies up to my higher power.  Just taking it one hour at a time. 

Vincent

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Re: Edging bad today... Need some support
« Reply #17 on: February 10, 2015, 05:25:00 AM »
that is good to hear, man!

whenever you feel the need of talking, we'll listen ;D

You can do it!

With PMO out of question, here's my P & PM Spreadsheet

Leon

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Re: Edging bad today... Need some support
« Reply #18 on: February 10, 2015, 12:54:27 PM »

Was in fantasy briefly this morning but have found the strength to give the fantasies up to my higher power.  Just taking it one hour at a time.


Excellent, MBG. Great job. Keep going, we're all rooting for you, and for your success!

Mbg

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Re: Edging bad today... Need some support
« Reply #19 on: February 10, 2015, 01:06:51 PM »
Feeling confident again today!  Thanks everyone so much for being on this forum, giving me a place that I can turn to anytime of the day. 

Pr3c1se

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Re: Edging bad today... Need some support
« Reply #20 on: February 11, 2015, 12:36:05 AM »
Yay!! Glad to hear it.