Author Topic: Recovery: Not Afraid  (Read 12935 times)

Anonymous Dude

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #25 on: January 30, 2015, 04:26:16 AM »
Hi there Eminem! :) I will also be one of those guys who will tell you that you are really lucky to have noticed your PMO problems that young. I'm 19-years old so I'm a bit late but I guess it's better to notice the problems now than later. You definitely are not alone in this battle! I think I'm at a "make or break" point right now. This really is a lot harder than I thought so I can fully relate to almost any kind of problems regarding PMO. I wish you all the best and I hope we both can defeat this really bad addiction that is affecting our lives in a negative way. Good luck mate! :)

Eminem

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #26 on: January 30, 2015, 03:07:11 PM »
Day 7: Today was really good I was not tired very much at all today!  Because I went to bed at 8:15 last night! 
This marks my one week away from PMO!  So to continue this journey I am setting some goals.  Next week I will check and evaluate my goals to see how I did.

This weeks goals:
1.  Stay away from PMO
2.  Read the bible more.
3.  Help my friends that are dealing with stress, depression and loneliness, and anger.
4.  Become closer with my friends that I am not as close with
5.  Be as social as possible.
6.  Stay off the internet as much as possible, this includes YouTube!
7.  Be as happy as possible.
8.  Hang out with people as much as possible.
9.  Go to sleep really early every night.
10.  Get all of my homework done along with my drivers permit.
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

Eminem

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #27 on: January 30, 2015, 08:08:19 PM »
Day 7 update:  I am finding it wierd that I am not really having any urges at all!  They just don't exist and when they do I can get them to leave so quickly.  I'm very surprised because last time I tried I was having so many urges it wasn't even funny.  But now things seem more calm. 
Tomorrow I'm going to my friends soccer game, and some other friends are going to be there!  So that will be fun.  We will probably also go to lunch together.  And this Sunday is the super bowl and I might go to my friends house to watch it. But I'm thinking that I might stay home and go to bed really early instead.
See you guys tomorrow, thanks for reading.
Good luck to everyone!
« Last Edit: January 31, 2015, 08:26:45 AM by Eminem »
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

Eminem

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #28 on: January 31, 2015, 09:39:17 PM »
Day 8:. Today I had a few urges, but they were not bad at all.  I found that I was not looking at my female friends the same way; it seems like now we are more on the same level, like I can talk to them eisier.
I was busy all day so that's good.  I went over to my friends house and a couple other friends came over and we went to the park and ibgot some energy out. 

I am really enjoying this reboot and after seeing how nice life is without PMO it really is hard to think about letting myself back into that life.
Good luck to everyone reading this!
Thanks for reading (:
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

Eminem

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #29 on: February 01, 2015, 09:45:19 PM »
Day 9: had a strong urge today but it went away.  I went to my friends house and then to another friends house to watch the super bowl.  It was a good time.  And I didn't PMO today.
My sleep has been really bad lately I have been waking up like 2-4 hours earlier than I should be and its keeping me from getting good sleep
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

Dbad

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #30 on: February 02, 2015, 03:31:59 AM »
Really good to hear that you're doing so well. As for your sleeping try just getting up when you wake up. Your body knows how much rest you need so unless it's ridiculously early you can get up and do school work or go for a run orsomething.
Strange things will happen if you let them come around and stick around.

Eminem

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #31 on: February 02, 2015, 08:33:28 PM »
Day 10: I made it to day 10!  But I'm exhausted!!! I slept for about 25 minutes last night and the. Had an entire school day!  It Was rough.  Because I'm so tired I found urges coming in pretty strong so tonight I'm going to go to bed early.  I have an important test tomorrow so I need some sleep!

Thanks for replying DBad I think my body is a little out of Wack.  I have always had sleeping problems. But never this bad!  I'll let you know how tonight goes.
Thanks for sticking with me.

I'll post again tomorrow.
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

Eminem

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #32 on: February 03, 2015, 08:41:40 PM »
day 11: I want to die.
Today I M until O and I am furious about it.  I did it while watching a YouTube video of a girl in a bikini.  Knowing this makes me so pissed I don't know what to do with my life.  I was doing so well everything was amazing and now I'm up late stressed, depressed, and filled with hatred again.  I'm going to use this anger to support me through staying away from PMO from no on!  NO ONE EXCEPTIONS.  I am pissed and I don't know weather or not to reset my counter and start back on day 1 or not. 

Should I start back at day 1??? Pease answer.

I feel like I should but I don't want to because I feel like I was doing so good, and I don't plan on going back to that.

I'm sorry ):
Good luck to everyone.
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

Eminem

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #33 on: February 04, 2015, 06:28:39 PM »
Day 12: I decided I'm not going to count yesterday as a restart.  I'm going to just keep pushing.  But because of the fact that I relapsed I am going to follow through with the promise I made to myself.  "If I relapse one more time, I am going to tell someone about this and have them do weekly check ups on me."
I don't know who I am going to tell but it is going to be someone this week. 
I am also going to try to sleep better every night.
I'm getting my driving learners permit tomorrow which is really exciting hopefully that will help with how I am feeling.

The other rule is if I PMO one more time I am going to reset my counter.  I'm using a "2 strikes your out"  idea.
Good luck to everyone.
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

Dbad

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #34 on: February 05, 2015, 03:28:55 AM »
Hey, man. Sorry to hear about you MOving and sorry I was late in responding. Keep looking towards the goal, don't stop until you reach it. It's good that you're treating this as a bump in the road and staying positive.
All the best, Dbad.
Strange things will happen if you let them come around and stick around.

Eminem

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #35 on: February 08, 2015, 01:10:23 PM »
Day 1: I'm staring over today.  Yesterday I PMO'd 2 times and the day before I did it once.  But today i am telling one of my good friends about it.  On here I'm going to call him C.  So tonight I'm gonna tell C that I need help and I'm going to check in with him every day.  I feel like he will definitely be able to help me through this and i really do think this is the next step in my recovery. 

I hope that yesterday was the last day I will see P in my life.

"Life is way too gorgeous to spend your time depressed looking at porn."
-Me

See you guys tomorrow.  Love life, love God, and love people, not pixels.

Good luck to everyone.
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

Eminem

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #36 on: February 15, 2015, 02:27:02 PM »
Day 2:      My day 2 was two days ago but I'm going to post it today because I didn't have time to write it yesterday.
So I told C about the fact that I struggle with P and he took it very well.  He said he has struggled with it in the past a lot and he still does every now and then. 
I think having him to keep me accountable is going to be really important in my reboot. 
I'm  going to help keep him accountable because he wants to quit too. 
No PMO today.
I have also changed my goal to 365 days.  I'm hoping after a year I will no longer have trouble with wanting to look at it all the time, and I won't have to be as extremely alert about it as I am now.
I was up until 1:00 am doing homework and so school was hard.
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

Eminem

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #37 on: February 15, 2015, 02:28:09 PM »
Day 3:  this was yesterday but I'll write it today.
Yesterday was great! I went to the mall after school to meet up with two of my friends because it was Tuesday, and every Tuesday we have small group meeting.  Anyway I had C put a lock on my phone so that I wouldn't be able to go on P websites.  We talked about some things and then we decided we should see a movie, so we invited a couple of friends to come.  We watched the movie and it ended pretty late such was rough but I was allowed to wake up later today because I had a doctors appointment.  Over all it was a good day.
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

Eminem

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #38 on: February 15, 2015, 02:29:17 PM »
Day 4:  I woke up at 7:30 this morning which was really nice because I normally wake up at 5:25!  Anyway I went to the doctor today, I made sure I was as social as possible and it went pretty well, there were times when I felt uncomfortable but I did good with my social skills.  She decided to increase the milligrams of medication I am going to be taking. Overall it was good.  I have no urges to look at P and I have been reading the bible more!  I feel like I am going to go all the way in this reboot. 
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

Eminem

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #39 on: February 15, 2015, 02:37:53 PM »
Day 8: so I haven't been able to post on here since Monday because I had my friend C put a lock on my phone that restricted every site with adult content, and it blocked this site, so I had my friend unlock this site.  So I will be back to my daily posts on here.  So let me catch everyone up.

The past week was really rough.  I got little sleep and had high stress.  I told the girl that I liked, that I liked her.  ( she likes me and we talked about what our next step is, we decided to stay friends, and if we still have feelings for each other in a year from now, that we would consider dating.).
I hung out with friends last night! Which was Valentine's Day, so that was pretty fun.

I have only had one problem with PMO this reboot, and it was 3 days ago.  It wasn't to P but I MO'd to a model.  I'm not going to count it as a setback but if it happens again I will.  My friend has been a huge help when it comes to this reboot!

I feel like I'm going to make my goal of 365 days clean!

Good luck to everyone!
Thanks for reading.
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

Eminem

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #40 on: February 16, 2015, 08:35:24 PM »
Day 9: Today went very well, I slept over at c's house, and today we went go carting. 

No urges at all

I didn't take my medicine today, and I noticed that I really do need it to focus. 

Tonight I got. Little bit of homework that I'll do and then I'm going to sleep. 

Today was good, hopefully tomorrow will be too!

Good luck to everyone who is reading this!
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

Eminem

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #41 on: February 17, 2015, 04:36:51 PM »
Quick update: I'm not sure if I'm bipolar or if it's a withdrawal symptom, but I think I'm bipolar so when I see my doctor in like a month or 2 I'll ask what they think.
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

Eminem

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #42 on: February 18, 2015, 02:37:25 PM »
Quick update 2: I have been having some intense mood swings!  Like from happy to extremely depressed.  I also feel empty.  Like I have broken up with a girlfriend, but I haven't.
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

Eminem

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #43 on: February 23, 2015, 07:14:34 PM »
Day 16: today was good.  My entire week last see was terrible. But I got through it.
I have MO'd a couple times I think 3 times in total in this reboot. BUT NEVER AGAIN.  I feel so strong now.

I am now dating someone, and I promised myself that I wouldn't look at P, P substitutes or M or M to O,  While we are dating I see it as a good thing that we are dating it provides encouragement through this. 

Things are looking good.

I'm going to start going to the gym Monday's Wednesdays and Fridays with my friend.  So that will be great.  I'm going to be his personal trainer kind of.  He wants me to help him build some muscle before swim season starts back up.

I will start writing daily again.
Good luck guys!
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

Eminem

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #44 on: February 25, 2015, 05:16:26 PM »
Day 18: today is going good!
I think having a girlfriend is definitely a big help.
A lot of the brain fog is gone and I feel better.

I have more overall energy!
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

Eminem

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #45 on: February 26, 2015, 02:32:50 PM »
Day 19: today was okay. I had brain fog because I MO'd last night.


It won't happen again.

I will update this page once a week from now on and I'm going to use a physical journal for now.

I may update more than once a week, but every Tuesday I will post.

I am not going to reset my counter and or anything because I havnt looked at full P.  Even though I have looked at P substitutes a few times.  I will be able to get through this.
Thanks for reading (:
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

Eminem

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #46 on: March 15, 2015, 12:53:01 PM »
Okay I screwed up. The past couple days have sucked! I am telling my mom today, and I am keeping a daily journal. I will update on here every day from now on.
The end of tomorrow is going to be the end of day 1.

See you guys tomorrow
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

fightforlife

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #47 on: March 15, 2015, 02:16:50 PM »
DonĀ“t let those relapses get you down. Keep investing hard work into your reboot and in the end you will succeed like so many others!

Neo J316

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Re: Recovery: Not Afraid
« Reply #48 on: July 12, 2015, 06:11:34 AM »
Brother I know this might sound unnecessary but the only times I've been able to stay off of porn . Was when I had no access to Porn .

  It's that simple

It's crazy really , Porn has shattered my life but yet the only times I've been able to abstain for long periods of time .

Was when I got a boost , kinda like training wheels in the form of no access .

Try it  8) 2 weeks no fap today  :)


P.S. if you have a laptop/PC , I suggest you downLoad "K9 Web Protection" and have somebody who loves you (In my case my brother) make and control the psswrd .

It's really awesome , I can go online without needing to test my ultra weak will power   8)