Author Topic: 180- turning my life around  (Read 7747 times)

Dbad

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180- turning my life around
« on: January 09, 2015, 06:17:12 PM »
Hi. I'm a 16 year old Christian guy in Ireland wanting to quit pmo. I've been trying to quit for a few years now but with no success.

What I want to get from my reboot is more confidence because right now I can barely look a girl in the eye knowing what I've done. This has to change.

I know I can do this and I know I'm going to make it.
Strange things will happen if you let them come around and stick around.

Dbad

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2015, 03:14:32 AM »
Went all day yesterday without pmo so I'm very happy because I often can't go a day. Most of the time it happens when I'm lying in bed doing nothing so I'd better get up now.  :)
Strange things will happen if you let them come around and stick around.

Dbad

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2015, 03:15:41 PM »
Had another good day. Got home early from school today but managed to keep myself busy. Only really had the urge to pmo once and I just went downstairs and did something else.
Strange things will happen if you let them come around and stick around.

Dbad

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #3 on: January 13, 2015, 02:31:26 PM »
Relapsed today and now I just feel like crap.

Still, I'm not quite back to square one. Before I started my reboot I used pmo to help me get to sleep. Now I have fewer issues with sleep because I'm not on the computer or watching videos on my phone late into the night so hopefully I can keep that up.
Strange things will happen if you let them come around and stick around.

Dbad

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #4 on: January 15, 2015, 09:57:52 AM »
Relapsed again today. I've heard that after one relapse it kind of spirals out of control but I can't let that happen. Tomorrow's the last day of my AS mocks so it should be a good time to get myself together, gather my thoughts and get a better start. Hope everyone else is doing better.
Strange things will happen if you let them come around and stick around.

Eminem

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #5 on: January 15, 2015, 06:22:18 PM »
Don't get too mad at yourself about it or have any really strong feelings about the fact that you "failed" again just try to put it behind you.  Tomorrow try to exercise when you get urges. 
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

patisdamanwiththeplan

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #6 on: January 16, 2015, 12:40:46 AM »
I just relapsed, now can't believe it, after all that work for nothing :(

Dbad

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #7 on: January 18, 2015, 01:57:43 PM »
Relapsed yesterday but didn't get a chance to go on until now. I've decided that I have to stop watching Grays Anatomy because it is just full of triggers. Still, I can't blame a tv show; it's my responsibility.

Have any of you listened to the Civil Wars song 'If I didn't know better'? That's how I feel sometimes. I know better than to be seduced by this stuff but it still happens.
Strange things will happen if you let them come around and stick around.

Doc Green

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #8 on: January 20, 2015, 10:32:41 PM »
Aha thats a good show. Try going through Game of thrones while rebooting omfg. I was always skipping scenes in that show.

Dbad

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #9 on: January 24, 2015, 05:55:11 PM »
I feel like I'm probably in a completely different place from most of you guys. For example, exercising to distract from the urge to pmo? I know that exercise sends endorphins through your system but when I'm tired my willpower goes right down. I'm not an active person. Don't geeks and nerds, like me, have a shot at getting our lives back on track? Because it seems like everyone here goes to the gym or goes running whereas I like a cappella and the new twilight zone.

Sorry, needed a rant.
Strange things will happen if you let them come around and stick around.

Doc Green

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #10 on: January 25, 2015, 06:49:58 PM »
I'm generally a big dude. 6'3 about 280 pounds! I'm in the same boat as you. I need to workout a lot more! As soon as I get my check in a couple of weeks I am going to try to get as much willpower as I can do hit the gym 4-5 times a week at least. It obviously does help a lot according to everybody on these forums so I might as well start working out more to move this process along, and also look good for the ladies for when I am over this addiction. ;)
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Dbad

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #11 on: January 26, 2015, 05:13:27 PM »
I don't really have enough time to get to the gym that often but I do get to go swimming once a week. Went today and had a bit of a struggle on the way home but I tried breathing deeply and it went away. Also after my shower I turned the water to cold for a bit which I think helped me a bit.
Strange things will happen if you let them come around and stick around.

Eminem

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #12 on: January 26, 2015, 05:51:25 PM »
I don't really have enough time to get to the gym that often but I do get to go swimming once a week. Went today and had a bit of a struggle on the way home but I tried breathing deeply and it went away. Also after my shower I turned the water to cold for a bit which I think helped me a bit.

Breathing and cold showers definitely help!
Heres a list of things that I find to be helpful
1. Going outside (without a phone/ tablet) until the urge dissipates
2. Taking a short 10-20 minute nap (NEVER more than 30 minutes though)
3. Finding a friend or family member to talk to.
4. Take off the passcode from you phone, and don't put one one again.
5. Eat some fruit, and maybe a slice of turkey.
6. Meditate
7. Read the bible and take your time in it, I recommended Romans chapters 6-8 to help with addiction
8. Excersize, it can be jump ropes, running, weight lifting, swimming, or some push-ups and sit ups.
9. Try to disconnect your urges from your mind while your eyes are closed and your breathing slowly, try to just push it away and watch it while it raises and lowers.
10. Come on to this forum and help other people, read up on their struggles and give them tips, encouragments, and a virtual high five!

Hope that list helped! If one thing doesn't work then go to the next and just keep going down the list until the urge is gone.
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

Dbad

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #13 on: January 26, 2015, 06:10:44 PM »
Thanks for the advice! I'll probably try some of these but today I just used what was convenient. Right now I'm just reading and re-reading Titus which is pretty cool.
Strange things will happen if you let them come around and stick around.

Dbad

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #14 on: January 27, 2015, 11:38:35 AM »
Well, maths was a complete minefield today. I like maths but we're doing kind of a boring subject at the moment which means my mind is prone to wandering and in addition to this when the teacher left the room somehow the topic got onto how the distance from the tip of your thumb to the tip of your index finger is the same as your penis length. This became a full class discussion and even the girls were trying to find the length of their hypothetical penises. Still, after I've posted this I think I'll go for a wee walk. Sorry for any triggers.
Strange things will happen if you let them come around and stick around.

Dbad

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #15 on: January 27, 2015, 05:15:58 PM »
So, after my walk today I came home and to be honest didn't do much until dinner. After that I went out and have been out until just now. Thought I should just organize my thoughts before I go to bed.  :)
Strange things will happen if you let them come around and stick around.

Dbad

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #16 on: January 29, 2015, 11:37:52 AM »
Okay, a couple of days ago I relapsed and since then I've kind of been avoiding posting about it. I've found some things I need to change and will hopefully do better this time. Here are the changes I'm making:

1. Wearing my PJs. Sometimes I sleep naked and it's just a step closer to PMO. Thinking back most of the times when I have relapsed I was already nude so it should help if I make sure I wear jogging bottoms and a t-shirt.
2. Only going online on the PC. I need to stop surfing the web at night because it means I end up tired and am more likely to watch P. It will mean I can't post here as often but I think it's a good trade off.
3. Only did this today but I left a Facebook Group for RPing. When I started out on it there was a warning that there could be sexual content in some posts but there weren't many posts which this could be applied to. Recently, however, there have been a lot more. There are always disclaimers and I haven't read any of them but I don't feel comfortable being there anymore because I was on it just there now and the entire screen must have been filled with inappropriate content.

So that's what's going on in my life at the moment.
Dbad
Strange things will happen if you let them come around and stick around.

Eminem

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #17 on: January 29, 2015, 05:01:01 PM »
It's good to hear that you are trying to get rid of some your triggers.  Staying away from the Internet is definitely one of the best things you can possibly do.  I've made it a deal with myself that I will only use the Internet on the family computer.  The only time I will use it on my phone is when I'm writing on here or checking my grades.
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

Eminem

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #18 on: January 29, 2015, 05:08:59 PM »
Is it at all possible that you would think about telling someone about this?
One of the best ways to get over an addiction is to let someone know about it.
If you can try to tell someone in your family. Or a really close friend.  Or someone from your church.
You can have them check in on you every week.  This will allow you to be really focused on not going back into PMO because you won't want to dissipating them.
Anyway
Good luck man!
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

Dbad

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #19 on: January 30, 2015, 02:51:03 AM »
I told my mum and dad in the past but it got to the point where I was so worried about disappointing them that I just didn't tell them if I relapsed. They were really supportive but I wasn't open to receiving their help.
Strange things will happen if you let them come around and stick around.

Dbad

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #20 on: January 30, 2015, 02:52:24 AM »
Yesterday I was busy all day and today should be pretty busy too. It is looking good :)
Strange things will happen if you let them come around and stick around.

Dbad

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #21 on: January 30, 2015, 11:11:17 AM »
Turns out today wasn't as busy as I thought it would be because band practice was cancelled. Anyways, on the bus this morning I had a bit of a struggle because behind me some guys decided to watch p on full volume. These were guys who are in my year at school and now I can't help but think, "You seriously don't see a problem with this?" Today is going to be harder than I thought but I can get through this. Cold shower here I come!
Strange things will happen if you let them come around and stick around.

Eminem

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #22 on: January 30, 2015, 03:10:48 PM »
Don't give in man.  I find that focusing and closing your eyes and breathing slowly is a really big help!
Try to just watch the urge raise and fall. It will go away! Just find something to do while you have it.
Good luck!
My daily posts- http://goo.gl/cknij4

-EMINEM

Dbad

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #23 on: January 30, 2015, 05:42:09 PM »
Thanks man. I'm out tonight and got a spare moment so just thought I'd check in here. Today was good, all things considered.
Strange things will happen if you let them come around and stick around.

Dbad

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Re: 180- turning my life around
« Reply #24 on: January 30, 2015, 06:26:41 PM »
I feel weird. Like I'm completely overjoyed but so sad at the same time. Like I've just woken up on a desert island with no way off but I know I'll be okay. It's the strangest feeling. I guess it was triggered by the thought: One lonely soul- mea culpa. That pretty much sums up everything that's wrong in my life in five words but for some reason that makes me so terribly happy. I don't have any friends who I can connect with, I'm still struggling with thoughts of pmo, there isn't anywhere that I feel truly comfortable but it just doesn't matter any more. One of my favourite songs says, "You can't reach me 'cause I'm way beyond you today." That's how I feel.
Strange things will happen if you let them come around and stick around.