Author Topic: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope  (Read 12128 times)

Stratavious

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 41
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #25 on: January 17, 2015, 11:56:20 PM »
Day 16:
I was studying all the day and its almost 12 pm and I just think to go sleep. I feel God is  lending me that spark of hope and now I dont want to lose that light, not anymore. Lets all beat this beast dressed of a beauty called porn, porn sucks, porn is not an option. If God lends me , with humilty I would like to do an intense research about porn in a couple of years and ask my teachers about this trash that is worse that an angus beacon with a Redbull
« Last Edit: January 19, 2015, 11:08:00 PM by Stratavious »

Tarmala

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 27
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #26 on: January 18, 2015, 10:41:23 PM »
It's nice to see your evolution, good job!
Sexual life is like the sky, sometimes it's sunny, sometimes it's couldy and sometimes it's pourring rain, snow and ice. And all of this is normal.


Stratavious

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 41
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #27 on: January 19, 2015, 11:10:38 PM »
Day 17

No porn today, I had the balls to talk with a girl of my class and we was talking nicely,  Im feeling things I never felt before, its just awesome

Stratavious

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 41
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #28 on: January 20, 2015, 08:04:14 PM »
Day 18:
I had a shit day, I messed up my date with a girl I like so when I arrived home I wanted to watch some porn and jerk off but I said, no I dont want to be a coward anymore, Its time to face the present and the future

Stratavious

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 41
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #29 on: January 22, 2015, 02:16:11 PM »
Day 19 and Day 20:

I had some urges to watch porn, but I said NO I dont want to lose all my progress in a selfish act.

Stratavious

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 41
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #30 on: January 24, 2015, 12:06:38 PM »
Im being late

Day 21:

I want to watch porn furiously and I was just 2 clicks away to start my porn roller coaster, but Im trying with all my soul to stop this urges

Stratavious

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 41
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #31 on: January 25, 2015, 10:59:05 AM »
Day 22:
On the weekends I have so much struggles, Im bored as fuck and I my brain is tricking me saying "its ok just fap 1 time and thats it" oh man, screw porn, I wont fallback again

Doc Green

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 35
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #32 on: January 25, 2015, 06:44:02 PM »
Excellent job at restraining from porn, friend.

Stratavious

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 41
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #33 on: January 26, 2015, 10:04:37 PM »
Day 23 and 24:

I cant believe how fluently and fast I can talk and process problems, I feel this is one of the best options I have taken in my life, today the girls of my class were talking to me and I was talking so fluently I couldnt believe it was myself, after a lot of struggles I feel Im reaching a light of hope, Im very thankful with God about this.

And thanks guys I really appreciate you guys take your time, I wish you all good luck :)

Newborn Brain

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 55
  • Personal Text
    Reborn and Free
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #34 on: February 02, 2015, 06:13:46 AM »
Congrats!

Keep up the good work!



Stratavious

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 41
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #35 on: February 08, 2015, 04:16:22 PM »
I relapsed and I feel like the most worthless trash in the world...

easyboi

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 12
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #36 on: February 08, 2015, 05:52:05 PM »
keep it up man - you can do this. I started today and I am 17 too.
I hope I can do this like you :) !

keep going

Tarmala

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 27
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #37 on: February 09, 2015, 10:38:49 PM »
Don't worry about relapse! You did well, had you can continu. It's normal, it happen sometime. Focus on the positive, all day you had been without porn.
Sexual life is like the sky, sometimes it's sunny, sometimes it's couldy and sometimes it's pourring rain, snow and ice. And all of this is normal.


Stratavious

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 41
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #38 on: February 12, 2015, 01:59:36 PM »
I relapsed terrible, I knew a foreign girl and she was talking to me and I didnt had the balls to reply properly because of my relapse, Im sure if I was with my 30+ days without porn I would talk to her...

So here we go again...

Stratavious

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 41
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #39 on: February 12, 2015, 11:18:54 PM »
Day 4:

No porn..

Newborn Brain

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 55
  • Personal Text
    Reborn and Free
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #40 on: February 13, 2015, 09:11:29 PM »
Do you know something I've been learning from this experience with porn?
The fact that being strong is not always about quitting, because I can quit porn and be very intolerant or arrogant to other people and their weaknesses...
I guess the most important is accepting my weaknesses and keep working to make it a strength, and really becoming more and more able to feel empathy towards others who have similar or different struggles in their lives, and need to start over and over again...
Once I read in a book:

A winner never quits
And a quitter never wins
Keep trying



Stratavious

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 41
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #41 on: February 14, 2015, 06:17:00 PM »
Day 5:
No porn at all

and yes brother I will keep trying

Stratavious

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 41
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #42 on: February 15, 2015, 11:36:04 PM »
Day 6:

I was thinking of watching porn and I had lustful toughts but I didnt watch porn.

Newborn Brain

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 55
  • Personal Text
    Reborn and Free
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #43 on: February 16, 2015, 10:02:19 PM »
Strat,
There is something that is working well fine with me: instead of thinking and writing or speaking about porn, I've been concentrating in some good things I am doing.
Instead of writing your journal about not consuming porn, you may want to write about nice things you did and how useful you have used your time and talk about your progress.
It is necessary to change your thoughts and talk about more positive and uplifting things.
It is working with me.
Going to the gym, to church, praying, being involved with colleagues, friends, family, concentrating on my professional life, all this is very rewarding and keep me away from idle thoughts.
Besides, I attend a group called NEUROTICS ANONYMOUS (http://neuroticosanonimos.us/neurotics.html).
It's been also very helpful, because there are other weaknesses that can be blinded by the light of addictions...

Keep Up Moving On!



Stratavious

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 41
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #44 on: February 17, 2015, 11:40:25 AM »
Day 7:
Had a wet dream but I stopped it by willpower.

yes bro I was doing this kind of things except going to the gym and now the gym will be a will do

Stratavious

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 41
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #45 on: February 21, 2015, 06:15:32 PM »
Day 11:
No porn, but today I had a wetdream and I was kinda conscious in my dream but I just wanted to enjoy my dream and I ended up ejaculating... Did I messed up?

Newborn Brain

  • Member

  • Offline
  • **

  • 55
  • Personal Text
    Reborn and Free
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #46 on: February 27, 2015, 10:48:08 PM »
Well, I don't think you messed up.
When recovering from anything, we might stumble and fall here and there, but the most important is to keep going! Stand up, brush off the dust, and go on!
I don't think it is wise or helpful to be beating yourself up for one or two or more moments of failure...
Keep going! You'll get at the point where you want to be...



R

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 101
  • Personal Text
    Reality is a much better place to be!!
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #47 on: February 28, 2015, 10:18:39 AM »
Howdy Stratavious,
I just started reading your journal and am impressed and intrigued as I read through your progression, I think you are finally finding out that interacting with women is much more gratifying than the pixelated objectification that porn offers us.   As a guy much older than you, I knew that interaction and reveled in it with my Wife yet, still, was pulled into the monoplane of objectifying women by my porn use.  Trust me, the real deal is much better...and much more frustrating...and much more rewarding...trust me...better.
Keep in mind that there were wet dreams and orgasms long before high speed internet.  I think that you have to keep everything in perspective.  You are not here to become a monk.  You are here to focus on retraining your brain to the organic stimulus it is supposed to react to instead an airbrushed and pixelated fake harem that only exists on the web.

Stratavious

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 41
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #48 on: February 28, 2015, 09:25:35 PM »
Day 18:
I feel Im recovering, this week I got examns at the University, wish me luck guys. I want to make a good first impression.

Stratavious

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 41
    • View Profile
Re: 17 years old addict, trying to reach a spark of hope
« Reply #49 on: April 04, 2015, 03:40:27 PM »
Day 44:
Im still here  :) was busy with Uni