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Need Motivation? Hear Me Out! Short and Sweet

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Gabe Deem:
As a 23 year old loser who played video games all day and fapped all night.

I had full blown ED, could not get an erection to ANYTHING other than hardcore porn compilations. Even as a teenager I could only orgasm once and I needed HOURS to go again. I hadn't had morning wood in years. I dropped out of college. I lost several relationships. I couldn't focus on anything. I had social anxiety, no goals, no purpose.

My life after being porn and masturbation free for over 3 years.

No ED whatsoever, can have an orgasm and sometimes my erection doesn't even go down all the way, I wake up almost every morning with a boner that could be used as a jackhammer to break concrete. Started taking classes again, and working on my personal trainer certification. Gained 10 lbs of muscle and lost some fat. In a loving relationship with a beautiful girl. I can literally sit down and read or study when I need to and enjoy it. Confidence is sky high. No social anxiety, I love being around people and enjoying life and making memories with friends and family. I have reached some goals and made new ones, have dreams I am pursuing....

and my purpose, well, I now have a story to tell in hopes to break the cycle for future generations. The pleasure porn offers is cheap, temporary, and does not sustain you. It only hooks you, numbs you, and takes from you the one thing it promised, pleasure.

Life without porn is true pleasure, life without porn is way better!

Keep trucking guys.

Gabe Deem:
Since my reboot, I have made several YouTube vids if you want my full advice and how I have gone over 3 years now of no porn or masturbation and one of the main points is to change your mindset to "porn is not an option anymore".

When I realized that porn made me have a limp noodle, laying in bed with a beautiful girl I loved, feeling no arousal at all, seeing the look on her face as I can't get turned on, the tear swelling up in her eye, because she thinks she's not good enough, was so gut-wrenching and life changing. When I found out my selfish pursuit of pleasure through porn was the cause of my pain and the pain I caused others. I decided that no matter how painful recovery was going to be, I was going to go through it.

I had a change of heart and sex became more about love, and less about lust.

Here are the videos just incase anyone missed them.....

Reboot Advice Video:

Porn Induced ED Explained - My Story:

Reboot FAQ - Wet Dreams, Porn Dreams, Morning Wood:

The Basics Of Rebooting:

Reboot Challenges - Withdrawal Symptoms From Porn

Porn Myths: The Truth Behind Addiction And Dysfunction


Below are frequently asked questions regarding my reboot, with my answers. Some opinions of mine are subject to change and I will update the posts if I learn new information that would be helpful. Much Love!

Gabe Deem:
--- Quote ---Makes me annoyed knowing I wasted a year worth of rebooting with masturbation and porn relapses.
--- End quote ---

-Man don't be annoyed, look at it as a lesson learned. Everything you have gone through is now wisdom and insight for future guys going through this. Think about how much stronger you are going to be when you overcome this as a person with patience, discipline, and more heart and courage to go through tuff times.

Dude, when I was recovering back in 2011, there was no knowledge (very little) of younger guys taking longer. The suggestions were saying that 6 to 8 weeks was going to be enough. I felt dead inside, had a girl I was lying to about why I would not have sex with her, extreme anxiety and insomnia, laid in bed crying myself to sleep, always thinking about not being able to recover. After 12 weeks and still no sign of improvement I started freaking out man. I was way past the "extended" time frame for recovery and nothing changed. A calm came over me though, and I realized that life is not all about sex, and that if the brain can change, I will go through recovery for as long as it takes to get there.

Then I started getting morning wood, that was progress. Then I started to be able to get hard fooling around, that was progress. I knew seeing some progress meant that "rebooting" was working. I also knew that I had watched a lot of crazy, disgusting, abusive, messed up porn growing up and that I started watching it young when my brain was more vulnerable to sensitization, so I prepared for the worst. (EDIT: To clarify it does not matter what type of porn you are watching, it is the novelty of Internet porn that keeps dopamine high leading to sensitization. I knew I had deeply conditioned my brain to a screen since I watched porn all through my adolescence.)

I can't really explain what I felt when I first found out my selfish lifestyle of watching porn and pleasing myself in my room, while watching girls getting used and abused on a screen, had caused my sexual dysfunction and heartbreak of so many. It changed me, it created a passion and a desire to do something about it.

My eyes were opened to the reality of what porn is. It is dehumanizing and desensitizing, and it takes advantage of peoples wounds, turns them into merely sexual objects, with no care for their well being, their soul, their story of how they got to a point in life to where they let guys record doing degrading things to them for guys all around the world to jack off to with their pants around their ankles. Some with a wife sleeping in the other room who crys herself to sleep because she thinks she isn't beautiful enough to keep her husbands attraction, attention, and affection.

 Internet porn, is one of the most destructive things for human relationships in all of history. Once I understood that porn will not lead us to the fullness of joy, it was easy to stay away from.

I no longer desired porn, I view it as unhealthy and sex-negative.

Gabe Deem:
--- Quote ---I do have a question and it is this, is it the constant clicking of 'new' (jumping from one vid to the next) sensitizing the pathways to porn, or the more hardcore and shocking stuff is??
--- End quote ---

The main thing is the novelty of Internet Porn. The clicking to "new" images/videos keeping dopamine elevated as well as going to the most intense parts. However, the more shocking and surprising something is the more dopamine is released. So it is partly that too.

Sensitization appears to be the main brain change behind porn induced sexual dysfunctions, and why it takes guys who started on internet porn at a young age longer to recover. We know of one guy who developed ED by clicking through thousands of swimsuit model pictures each session. It's not content, its novelty, and continued use of supernormal stimulation like internet porn.

--- Quote ---please provide us with information about time u took to start feeling damn better .. to have real sex .. to feel completely healed
--- End quote ---

 It took me 6 months to start feeling better and getting some sex drive and motivation back. To have successful sex it took 9 months, and to feel completely healed to where I could get an erection to my hands touch alone with no porn or fantasy, 15 months.

Gabe Deem:
--- Quote ---how is it that some people seem to watch porn (even a lot of porn) and still manage to have heathly relationships and bang thier girlfriends? surley every guy has watched thier fair share of porn, so how come some get ED?
--- End quote ---

-I can only speculate, but there are a few reasons I can think of why some guys can watch porn and still have sex.

1. The age one started watching internet porn. The younger you started on porn the more likely you will have sensitized your brain to get turned on by a screen rather than a partner. If a guy doesn't start on internet porn during adolescence he will not have wired for porn as deeply as someone who did watch internet porn through adolescence. (Note the fact that I said "internet porn" and not just porn or magazines. Having unlimited supply of novel porn is a huge part of the equation, magazines simply can't deliver the same neurochemical punch and therefore not wire the brain as fast or as deep.

2. How frequent and consistent one watches porn. Some guys only watch a few days a week/month. Guys who develop porn induced dysfunctions may have watched it almost every day for years, like me.

3. Past sexual experience. Some guys have had lots of real life sex along with lots of porn use. These guys have wiring for real partners, guys who have only masturbated to porn do not. This was a huge factor I believe in why it took a while for my porn induced ED to develop, because I had a lot of sex through highschool and college. This is scary to me because I might have even taken longer to reboot, and should be encouraging to guys taking a long time with no sexual past. They may just need more time or simply rewire their brain for a real life partner, the brain is always changing so as long as we are alive rewiring is possible!

4. The way a guy watches porn. Some guys watch one video a session and that is it, or go back to a saved video and keep watching that one video, while other guys edge for hours and keeping dopamine high for very long periods of time. Some guys have multiple tabs open at the same time being bombarded with novelty. All 3 groups of guys are wiring their brain to porn on a screen but the edgers and novelty seekers are surely wiring their brain more deeply. I would both edge when I had time to kill, or search for the perfect scene if I was in a rush.

Some guys are on their way to limp noodle town and they do not even know it. They just might not be there yet, or maybe they do not watch as much porn as you would think or that they say they do. There are MANY factors that go into this...

Just my thoughts there is not a solid answer.. hope that helps.


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