Author Topic: Trying to get free (3 relapses but getting stronger and more wise)  (Read 7738 times)

Yuri

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Re: Trying to get free (3 relapses but getting stronger and more wise)
« Reply #25 on: January 17, 2015, 03:54:20 AM »
Excellent progress yuri!
Keep an eye out for those triggers and remember if you dont watch porn today, tomorrow will be a better day!

Fazzle

 My worst enemy is fantasy. It seems a lot easier not to watch porn but mind was full of wicked desires.

 Anyway... this moorning i wake up again with clear head. Nice morning wood and still a clear head. I didnt even hurry to stay up as my mind didnt start to wonder in a world of desires. Very nice!!!

 I just did joga for lower back. Feeling great. Have to do some weekend's shopping now. And then im looking forward for some physical activities. Maybe i will even do some meditation at the moment.

Yuri

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Re: Trying to get free (3 relapses but getting stronger and more wise)
« Reply #26 on: January 19, 2015, 02:08:27 PM »

 Hi friends! Feeling even better!!! My head gets clean! I dont have cravings or they seem so weak. Even in the moornings. I can just lie in bed and relax. I will still be careful with triggers.

ntg

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Re: Trying to get free (3 relapses but getting stronger and more wise)
« Reply #27 on: January 20, 2015, 09:42:08 AM »
This is awesome man!  I have also noticed a drastic change in the amount of cravings I have had too.  Keep pushing towards your goals man, you can do it!


Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm. -Winston Churchill

Yuri

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Re: Trying to get free (3 relapses but getting stronger and more wise)
« Reply #28 on: January 21, 2015, 02:32:34 PM »
 Hi friends. I want to share what's new. Would be glad to hear some comments and/or advice.

 So i felt great. No remarkable cravings. I spent another night with my woman. What i didntt write earlier - it is very hard for me to sleep with her as deep inside i really want her and i get sexually aroused but still im not hard enough to please us both. It feels like having a flame inside but not beeing able to let it out. Yet another night she goes to sleep but i can't. My body temperature rises, its uncomfortably hot,I feel aroused and uncomfortable. Later as i try to sleep my mind starts wondering and cravings appear. Appear out from some deep places of my mind. Nothing to strong or something i cant whitstand but still. Damn... i feel bad about it because my woman gets uncomfortable too. She didnt sleep also as i did shuffle in bed all night.
 
 My mind tells me and i am sure that i just need more time. It is just three weeks this month and still i feel a lot of progress and i am very happy about it.
 What i bother about is nights spent with her. I hope a lot that it benefits me as i get REAL feelings from hugs and kisses. And i hope that it makes my flame to find the correct way out.

 It is evening now. Day after. Im sleepy. No cravings. I feel tired and will go to sleep very soon.   

ntg

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Re: Trying to get free (3 relapses but getting stronger and more wise)
« Reply #29 on: January 21, 2015, 11:11:05 PM »
I remember reading something where Gabe put on here that he thought just spending time with his girl (cuddling, hugging, kissing, making out) really helped to speed up his recovery, because it fired off new connections in his brain for pleasure.  I think you should take a different approach here...instead of focusing on getting hard to be able to have sex with your girl, focus on becoming more intimate with her.  See this as your time to learn how to make her feel loved and wanted, just by the way you hold her.  I don't think she's going to mind this a bit :)  stay strong bro.  Keep at it, you're doing great!


Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm. -Winston Churchill

Yuri

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Re: Trying to get free (3 relapses but getting stronger and more wise)
« Reply #30 on: January 22, 2015, 02:43:56 PM »
I remember reading something where Gabe put on here that he thought just spending time with his girl (cuddling, hugging, kissing, making out) really helped to speed up his recovery, because it fired off new connections in his brain for pleasure.  I think you should take a different approach here...instead of focusing on getting hard to be able to have sex with your girl, focus on becoming more intimate with her.  See this as your time to learn how to make her feel loved and wanted, just by the way you hold her.  I don't think she's going to mind this a bit :)  stay strong bro.  Keep at it, you're doing great!

 Ha ha . Thanks friend. It is not like im just thinking about sex with her  :D . I really love her and i enjoy all the time that i spend with her :) . We have a lot of hugs and cuddling and kissing and it feels wonderfull. It takes all the negative feelings away from me.

Yuri

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Re: Trying to get free (3 relapses but getting stronger and more wise)
« Reply #31 on: January 24, 2015, 11:30:39 AM »
I had my cold shower yesterday and today too. Made me feel a lot better as i was frustrated yesterday. I did also have a winter run in the woods recently today.

This moorning i had strong wood and i was thinking about real woman. I feel like i have disconnected myself from that sexual matrix. I dont want it any more. Porn is worse than cheap prostitute and i dont want to return to it. Something still appears if i feel depressed or when i get very horny but i feel it weakens too. Cold shower took away any depression :) . And i dont allow much bad thoughts. I think positive.

I started doing kegel excersizes recently. I hope it helps. I got some semen leakage after urinating. I hope it is normal. Will read about it.

ntg

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Re: Trying to get free (3 relapses but getting stronger and more wise)
« Reply #32 on: January 26, 2015, 01:51:39 PM »
Let me know your experience with kegels; I was doing a lot of these before I started the reboot process, but have not done any since I started, because they tended to make me very aroused, and I felt this would be a trigger of sorts.  Seems you're doing good man!  Keep going.


Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm. -Winston Churchill

Yuri

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Re: Trying to get free (3 relapses but getting stronger and more wise)
« Reply #33 on: January 27, 2015, 12:03:19 AM »

 No morning wood and worse erection. I will stop doing these kegels! Will do reversed, will have a massage and do squats instead. I hope it helps. Im reading a lot about pelvic floor now.

 Otherwise im doing fine.

CrateDane

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Re: Trying to get free (3 relapses but getting stronger and more wise)
« Reply #34 on: January 27, 2015, 12:06:44 PM »

 No morning wood and worse erection. I will stop doing these kegels! Will do reversed, will have a massage and do squats instead. I hope it helps. Im reading a lot about pelvic floor now.

 Otherwise im doing fine.

I find that the kegels have helped but its easy to overdo them which should be avoided. I also find the reverse kegels quite difficult to do, especially if we are not supposed to tighten our abs at the same time as that is basically how I activate those muscles.

Yuri

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Re: Trying to get free (3 relapses but getting stronger and more wise)
« Reply #35 on: January 27, 2015, 01:59:59 PM »

 I will stop doing kegels (i have done them for only about 4-5 days anyway). Will do some reversal kegels.
 BUT i feel like i dont want anything sexual at all now. Is it the legendary flatline?  :o  :D

Yuri

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Re: Trying to get free (3 relapses but getting stronger and more wise)
« Reply #36 on: January 29, 2015, 04:13:36 PM »
Yesterday was an interesting one. Got a slight depression. I was dissatisfied and tired. As always i got some urges because of that as i was weak at the moment. BUT it was the second already that i said myself "F*ck you depression- everything is alright. There is no need for me to feel bad". I felt a lot better as i got home. Later i talked to my girl and felt even better. And then i took a cold shower and felt even MORE better. No sign of depression anymore. I went to sleep happy. And do You know what happened? I had bright dreams and even erotical... no! sexual dream by the morning!! First time since i was a child?? WOW. And today i felt like i am more into real women. Not as strong as i would like to but still. I feel that something changes in my head but i have to let it grow!!!

Yuri

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Re: Trying to get free (3 relapses but getting stronger and more wise)
« Reply #37 on: January 30, 2015, 04:01:13 PM »
Overtension of pelvic floor fading away. Not doing kegels any more. Doing some reverse kegels instead and pelvic floor stretches from different yoga poses.

I get stronger erection when just thinkig about my woman. It really turned me on today remembering her in lingerie and thinking about how i want her. Almost no more unrealistic fantasies any more.


Yuri

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Re: Trying to get free (3 relapses but getting stronger and more wise)
« Reply #38 on: January 30, 2015, 04:02:33 PM »

 No morning wood and worse erection. I will stop doing these kegels! Will do reversed, will have a massage and do squats instead. I hope it helps. Im reading a lot about pelvic floor now.

 Otherwise im doing fine.

I find that the kegels have helped but its easy to overdo them which should be avoided. I also find the reverse kegels quite difficult to do, especially if we are not supposed to tighten our abs at the same time as that is basically how I activate those muscles.

 Oh man... i cant do it by not tightening my abs.

Yuri

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Re: Trying to get free (3 relapses but getting stronger and more wise)
« Reply #39 on: January 31, 2015, 02:42:16 PM »
I'm celebrating one clean month of no porn in 2015!
Periodicaly feeling better and better. I'm really happy about this. And i really dont need porn anymore.

ntg

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Re: Trying to get free (3 relapses but getting stronger and more wise)
« Reply #40 on: January 31, 2015, 03:15:24 PM »
Congratulations man!  Good job, keep going.  Focus on your goals, not how long it's been.  Try to replace the focus of porn (how long it's been since you watched it) with the focus on life in general (goals, self improvement, etc.)  Doing great bro.


Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm. -Winston Churchill

Yuri

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Re: Trying to get free (3 relapses but getting stronger and more wise)
« Reply #41 on: January 31, 2015, 03:28:42 PM »
Congratulations man!  Good job, keep going.  Focus on your goals, not how long it's been.  Try to replace the focus of porn (how long it's been since you watched it) with the focus on life in general (goals, self improvement, etc.)  Doing great bro.

 Thanks a lot!

Yuri

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Re: Trying to get free (3 relapses but getting stronger and more wise)
« Reply #42 on: February 04, 2015, 02:44:52 PM »

 Hi guys!

 What's up!? I have stopped having various fantasies in my mind for a while now. Love it. Sometimes i get hard just from thoughts and memories about my woman. These are like waves - i want to belive thats a libido because i also get aroused when seeing a nice woman somewhere in a public transport for example but also it's like vawes.
 
 What worries me a bit is a few drops of semen time to time right after urinating. For example every third day or more often. Anyone had such experience? I feel like im real full down there :) .

Yuri

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Re: Trying to get free (3 relapses but getting stronger and more wise)
« Reply #43 on: June 16, 2015, 11:47:49 AM »
HI!!!

I AM BACK!!!

I AM BACK TO TELL EVERYONE THAT I AM CURED!!! HA HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

THAT WAS AN INSANE JOURNEY. SO HARD AND SO BENEFITICAL! OMG. I THINK I WILL WRITE A WHOLE ARTICLE ABOUT THIS. MAYBE IT WILL HELP OTHERS.