Good day friends! It's been a very long time since my last post so I thought I'd check in on the eve of 700 days porn free. Given my 20-year addiction to porn, masturbation, and (later) sex, living without my addictions is nothing short of a miracle. And none of this would have been possible without the kindness and loving support of my fellow rebooters. So why am I back? I'm writing to encourage those who are just starting their reboots and to encourage those who continue to struggle with porn-related dopamine addiction. [If you don't know what dopamine is, get a copy of "Your Brain on Porn" stat!] My message is: don't give up. As I've shared in this thread, I know that porn would have killed me. On October 29, 2014, I decided to make a change and stop watching porn...forever. I won't lie to you. It was hell. Reboot was hell. But the rewards - like happiness, honesty, and intimacy to name a few - are well worth it. Giving up porn, porn subs, and all of the addictive behaviours that fed my two-decade-long addiction to dopamine was the most difficult and yet the most rewarding thing I've ever done. No matter where you are along your journey my friends, please don't give up. Reboot is a bit like learning to walk again. It's all or nothing. Either you're up or you're down on your *ss crying. I was thinking about how my own reboot was like learning to walk (porn-free) all over again. I thought to myself: after a toddler stumbles, I've never seen a child give up, refuse to try walking again, hide/isolate, blame their crappy childhood/spouse/boss, rationalize "I'll just crawl for one more day before giving it another try." No. The kid just b*lls out tries again and again and again until he/she walks. This was pretty much my approach to reboot. I came ready to do whatever it took to live porn free. I obsessively posted here. I joined www.pornaddictsanonymous.org, a 12-step programme for porn addiction. I participated in weekly phone-in meetings for porn addicts. I read 30+ books about porn addiction, sex addiction, and self-improvement. I got a sponsor and created a sobriety network. My motto remains: PORN IS NOT AN OPTION. This also meant giving up fleshy TV. It meant giving up all of the lies, the blame, the resent, and the rationalizations. It meant giving up masturbation, meaningless hook ups, and meaningless relationships. This is what worked for me after trying, and failing, for years to stop watching porn. No matter what our paths, we can only find freedom without our drug of choice: dopamine. After 700 days without porn, life has taken on a colour and texture that I never thought possible. Perhaps like me, you started your reboot to once again have big, beautiful erections, lots of steamy-hot sex, and porn-like orgasms. But I've learned that reboot was never about my d*ck. It was always about mind, heart, and soul. Once porn-free, I learned it was just the start of another set of challenges. But I was now up for those challenges. I'm now ready to face whatever life throws at me. I may not always succeed, but I'm always going to get up again and again. In brief, reboot gave me my life back. And reboot will give you back your life as well. Good luck my friends.
Thanks Patrick and Branch for your shouts out. Branch wrote: "I'm only on Day 23 but I'm keeping my eyes on the prize and I KNOW recovery is within my power." Whether we're on day 2 or day 2000, it takes the same skills and commitment to remain addiction-free my friend. Not too long ago, I remember being in complete awe of anyone who had 100+ days of recovery. I was a total fangirl. Today marks day 700 porn-free for me although it's essentially just a number. My commitment to remaining addiction-free remains the same regardless of the math. So keep going Branch!
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Topic: 5.5 YEARS PORN-FREE! (Read 187040 times)
