Author Topic: Exodus  (Read 4332 times)

workinprogressUK

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #125 on: June 17, 2019, 07:09:24 AM »
Sincere congrats, Moses. You've worked soooo hard to make this change. Hat's off to you, Sir. Wishing you every success for the future.

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #126 on: June 24, 2019, 05:05:34 AM »
99 days clean now. The other day I was really tempted to go visit a site again but various things such as my blocker kept me from it. I am not counting it as a relapse because I never actually did anything and came to my senses. After being without porn for so long it no longer holds the appeal for me that it used to.

jixu

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #127 on: June 25, 2019, 05:39:36 AM »
Looks like 100 days by now for you-very impressive, but built on a lot of hard work.  Good job, and keep going!

jixu

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #128 on: July 08, 2019, 07:06:25 AM »
Bueller?......Bueller?.....Bueller?    What is going on Moses?  How is it going?

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #129 on: July 17, 2019, 03:52:53 AM »
I relapsed some this weekend. I reset my timer and am on day 3 now, The thing I found out is that porn no longer holds an attraction for me, it doesn't turn me on like it used to, I see how fake it is. There was no specific trigger. I think it will be a long time before I am tempted to look at it again.

jixu

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #130 on: July 17, 2019, 05:44:37 PM »
It's all about today and moving forward.  You have made a huge stride toward the goal-good job and keep going!

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #131 on: September 04, 2019, 07:52:42 AM »
I am in  a good place today. Just watching Netflix and relaxing.

jixu

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #132 on: September 04, 2019, 01:46:23 PM »
Glad to hear from you and nice to know that you are in a good place and doing alright.  Keep fighting.

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #133 on: September 04, 2019, 07:18:15 PM »
Thank you for the kind words jixu

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #134 on: September 13, 2019, 05:32:09 PM »
I am a little twmpted to visit a site right now but I know what that leads to and am able to resist temptation.

workinprogressUK

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #135 on: September 16, 2019, 05:12:25 AM »
Hope you stay resistant, Moses. Porn is not an option.

MosesY

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #136 on: October 04, 2019, 06:02:36 AM »
I am not sure how many days I am porn free now. Does it matter? At least a month. I have a different phone now without any counters on it. I am going to put a counter on it this morning. Life is so much better without porn.

Chicagocold

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Re: Exodus
« Reply #137 on: October 29, 2019, 05:59:19 PM »
MosesY, great story and glad to hear you made it for over a month.  It's great to hear from other guys going through the same clean - relapse - clean cycle and not giving up.  Life without porn is definitely better.  It's great to hear you working through your social anxiety too.  Being out of your house and around others helps. 

Just be careful and never let your guard down completely.  I've been through several, long reboot attempts prior to getting on this site.  All were 3-5 months completely clean.  By then you should be good right?  Wrong!  Life was better and my mind had settled way down.  I felt calmer and more dominant.  Eased up on stupid behavior like road rage, wanting to fight, obsessing over girls butts.  Sex life was good.  Morning wood...check.  Each time I failed because I let my guard down, specifically on small triggers.  Clicking on that stupid link with bikini photos of some celebrity.  Clicking on an ad for women's underwear to see the picture in higher resolution.  Even when doing these mindless, almost meaningless things I knew deep down that there is no reason to do it.  Since I took that step it allowed my subconscious to subtly justify taking the next step which was actively seeking out photos.  You can guess where it went from there.   

At the point of clicking on the first photos it would have been so easy to turn back.  A quick "this is dumb.  What's the purpose?" and I would have shut it down and moved on.  Easy.  A few weeks later when I was about to click on one of the videos that used to really get me going and letting my hands wander, it was like turning an aircraft carrier.  Going back after all the relapses and figuring out what went wrong I came to the same conclusion - I thought I was "cured" and let my guard down.  The relapse built for weeks in tiny, easily "justifiable as okay" steps.  Each one broke down a little more resistance to getting back to PMO. 

Stay strong.