Author Topic: DAILY LOG: NO PMO, Beginning 11-20-14  (Read 4399 times)

westcoaststar007

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DAILY LOG: NO PMO, Beginning 11-20-14
« on: November 20, 2014, 08:37:19 PM »
I had very stressful months at school, anxiety and low mood were definitely triggers but I went from watching porn twice over 3 weeks to daily. I realize how hard it is to quit on your own that's why I feel I need this journal to hold me accountable.

I will update it regularly to keep me honest.
(Masturbation and Porn are 2 sides of the same coin, they go hand in hand imo) So I won't masturbate either. No edging, because that's been a slippery slope for me. Since I am single, the only release will be a wet dream if it happens.

Day 1:
At this very moment, I am craving porn. I am having vivid memories of scenes I watched yesterday and keep getting aroused and urge to search for it. I won't watch it today.
 8)

Good luck guys.

knowledge is power

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Re: DAILY LOG: NO PMO, Beginning 11-20-14
« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2014, 02:18:45 AM »
Stay strong Westcoast. You don't need porn or masterbation, they will only bring negativity in your life. You are not alone In this fight. Stay strong and fight the urge and win your brain, joy, and motivation for life back from this detrimental addiction that is ruining the lives of so many people just like you. Much love and strength, George.

westcoaststar007

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Re: DAILY LOG: NO PMO, Beginning 11-20-14
« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2014, 01:51:40 PM »
thanks for the motivation George!

Day 2: Still have urges to re-imagine scenes I watched in the last few days. I want to masturbate not so much because of the urge but because of that rush I feel during the release. But I need to make a change. So I will not masturbate today.

knowledge is power

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Re: DAILY LOG: NO PMO, Beginning 11-20-14
« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2014, 05:03:42 PM »
Westcoast,
I have good news. The urge to masterbate because of the feeling you get upon release will decrease with time.  I can say this confidently because I am living proof. It almost as if you get used to not masterbation after some time. Right now I am in a stage where I am increasingly sensative to the little things in life. For instance,  I just came back from eating lunch with an old college friend. It felt so good to converse with her on various topics which I felt passionate about and that experience alone brought so much satisfaction to me. I felt like a normal human being who could enjoy normal life without mind altering substances and activities such as pornography and masterbation. We ate Sushi at a place called Watuwa and boy was it good!
Stay strong Westcoast,  I have no doubt this fight will get easier with time and I'm proud of your progress thus far. You give me strength just by letting me know you are in the same fight as me and that I'm not alone. Stay strong brother.
with much love, George.

knowledge is power

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Re: DAILY LOG: NO PMO, Beginning 11-20-14
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2014, 05:07:08 PM »
Also, I am in day 2 as well!  I have to make that little calculator thingy you have. Also, I really recommend buying the Your Brain On Porn book by Gary Wilson asap. That book is my second bible and actual learing how pornography has physically altered my brain makeup has been the point of no return in my decision to eradicate both pornography and masterbation from my life. Get the book trust me! :)

westcoaststar007

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Re: DAILY LOG: NO PMO, Beginning 11-20-14
« Reply #5 on: November 22, 2014, 12:26:05 AM »
Appreciate it bro. It helps knowing others are fighting the good fight. I try to retionalize that it's nothing big because being in the healthcare field, this is a relatively new issue and no one knows the longterm issues till research comes out but we that are going through it already know the bad effects of porn.

I have gone 30 days without it one a few years ago and 6 days straight a few times this year. Just need to build a streak and stay strong through the tougher times. What happens is that after a week or so the body feels energized and you think you're healed and fall into a slump again. Rinse and repeat, that's been my life. But time to kick this habit to the curb for good now.

I will check out the book once I get more time.

westcoaststar007

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Re: DAILY LOG: NO PMO, Beginning 11-20-14
« Reply #6 on: November 23, 2014, 03:01:18 AM »
Today was day 3 and I did not masturbate. I have been 3 days free of PMO now. Went on a date and had fun instead of sitting on my couch, masturbating and going to sleep. Need to build momentum get through the low points and leave this useless habit behind.  8)

knowledge is power

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Re: DAILY LOG: NO PMO, Beginning 11-20-14
« Reply #7 on: November 23, 2014, 12:07:14 PM »
Hey Westcoast, I hope you are well.
I am glad that you are on day 3 and managing to keep your promise to yourself of abstainting from the cause of unhappiness for many of us men in this world which is pornography coupled with masterbation. I know what you mean when it comes to going on a streak, feeling strong and then because of this high feeling, falling back to our old ways. The crazy thing is that most of this back peddling into our same old habits can be explained scientifically. For instance, I notice we tend to lose sight of our long term goals of abstinence after a streak and thats because years of watching porn while masterbating has robbed us of our ability to focus on the rewards of fighting for our long term goals. We can't wait for the pleasure of accomplishing something that takes time and which takes fighting for because the fact that our brains and bodies are used to an intense satisfactory feeling at the mercy of instant, intense,unlimited,  fast paced, hard core pornography. I would like to reference the book on this specific matter but currently am unable to find the page. We must be aware that this addiction has robbed us of our ability to achieve long term goals we see out for ourselves,  goals that will give us a pleasure and sense of accomplishment that no amount of pornography or orgasm can compare to.  This should really make us reconsider falling back into our old ways because when we consider what is at stake here, which is  our lives and our futures, there should be no question as to whether we should fight  at that exact moment against the urges to watch porn/masterbate. I hope my words can motivate you and I want you to know i am thinking of you and am here for you. Stay strong Westcoast,  you are better than this wack ass addiction. ;)
« Last Edit: November 23, 2014, 12:09:32 PM by knowledge is power »

westcoaststar007

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Re: DAILY LOG: NO PMO, Beginning 11-20-14
« Reply #8 on: November 23, 2014, 04:31:41 PM »
George, appreciate the positivity and motivation brother. That quote does mean a lot and it's true sometimes we are bound in that daily instant gratification that we forget about things that will give us long-term gratification because those goals are not instant and easy like porn and masturbation. I am trying to find ways to still keep myself excited because usually if i have half an hour break during studying daily, it goes to porn and masturbation. My excitement comes from imagining which scene to watch that day. My habit is not extreme relative to some because I do it once every other day but its still a negative lifestyle. Focusing on the longterm goals is harder and requires more patience but will ultimately be more rewarding than this wack ass addiction. 8)

DAY 4: Today is day 4, I have less vivid memory of scenes that I watched a few days ago, the urge is not strong but I know that at any moment it can build up fast and its easy to lose sight of future in an instant and go through the PMO route. I will not watch porn or masturbate today either.
« Last Edit: November 23, 2014, 04:34:55 PM by westcoaststar007 »

knowledge is power

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Re: DAILY LOG: NO PMO, Beginning 11-20-14
« Reply #9 on: November 23, 2014, 05:50:39 PM »
I went through the exact same thing when it comes to studying. Pornography and masterbation has definitely impacted my college career so far in a big way. I started college in 2010 and so far have only 68 credits. I never was really able to do any major projects because whenever it came down to crunch time I would always give up on studying,  turn to porn and wack away. I can totally relate to you in amount of porn I watched to. I wouldn't do it all day every day but when I did it, even if it was one time in the day,  it would ruin my whole day. The depression and self pity that came after that one time of masterbating and finishing to porn would consume my entire day and the next. It really killed my mood and made me feel like crap. I will share my last time with porn and masterbating which was one of the lowest points for me and when I ended up finding this sight. I was watching an interview with a specific porn star who had contracted an STD. She was telling of how she got the STD by having group sex and what not. In a matter of minutes I found myself looking up videos of her in these specific acts and masterbating to them. Not only that but I was really excited to the point of being jittery while searching for these vids. Afterwards I was thoroughly disgusted by what I had just got off to and also how excited I was while looking them up. I just sat there and I felt like I was looking down at myself from outside of my body. I was this pitiful boy with my penis in my hand feeling so worthless. I was done with myself, I just couldn't take it. That was the end for me. I was depressed for like two days straight just sleeping all day. I ended up discovering an article on YBOP.Com and thats when everything changed and here I am.

westcoaststar007

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Re: DAILY LOG: NO PMO, Beginning 11-20-14
« Reply #10 on: November 24, 2014, 05:00:56 PM »
@knowledgeispower. Yeah, for me I am in grad school and did fine in college but it definitely prevented me from being more productive and satisfied in my undergrad life. I am ashamed of some of the stuff Ive masturbated to but in that heat of the moment, that excitement and jittery feeling too much for an instant relief its definitely a drug. How long have you been going on without porn and masturbating?

Day 5: I just saw a picture of Kim K on facebook and all I can think about is masturbating and watching a video and bunch of other fantasies of porn.

However, I will not feed the urge, I closed the facebook page and I will not masturbate today. 8)

westcoaststar007

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Re: DAILY LOG: NO PMO, Beginning 11-20-14
« Reply #11 on: November 25, 2014, 02:13:28 PM »
Day 6: The urges were very strong in the morning. I had to keep touching in the morning and then I stopped, I remembered my goals and what I am doing.  I havent intentionally gone on for longer than 6 days in maybe 2 years. This will be a huge step for me. All I can think about is the sex scenes and the temptations are strong.I will not watch porn or masturbate today.

westcoaststar007

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Re: DAILY LOG: NO PMO, Beginning 11-20-14
« Reply #12 on: November 26, 2014, 12:10:00 PM »
Day 7: I have thought about masturbating strongly and I miss that instant rush of dopamine. I feel slightly depressed because of finals, relationship problems (long distance), and other life stressors. But I remember how easy it is to fall into that masturbation trap and it doesn't solve anything. Next 3 days I will be around family for break so I won't masturbate or watch porn.

Today as well, I will not PMO watch porn or masturbate. Time to keep the ball rolling! 8)

MattyB

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Re: DAILY LOG: NO PMO, Beginning 11-20-14
« Reply #13 on: November 26, 2014, 01:11:58 PM »
All the best to you westcoast. Looks like we're on similar timelines, how about we check in on each other and hold each other accountable? I cant believe how much of an addiction it became to me, with how much I have been wanting and craving it....not constantly but when I happen to think of it I can MOST DEFINITELY feel the strong urge to just give in.

westcoaststar007

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Re: DAILY LOG: NO PMO, Beginning 11-20-14
« Reply #14 on: November 29, 2014, 04:17:57 AM »
Hi MattyB, I'm down. Yeah it's nuts.

Day 8 and 9: with fam so more busy but still have time to pmo in own room late night. Urges are crazy now at times I just want to start touching and release but I realise it's the dopamine rushy body craves. I'm pushing to stay strong I did not pmo these two days. On to day 10!

westcoaststar007

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Re: DAILY LOG: NO PMO, Beginning 11-20-14
« Reply #15 on: November 30, 2014, 02:34:55 AM »
Day 10: very intense urges but I did not pmo. Next 3 weeks life will be tough I have med school finals mix of emotions during those hard exams will test my dedication to giving this vice up. I have to stay strong and make it to end of year with no pmo and go on from there...
« Last Edit: November 30, 2014, 02:38:13 AM by westcoaststar007 »

MattyB

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Re: DAILY LOG: NO PMO, Beginning 11-20-14
« Reply #16 on: November 30, 2014, 09:55:54 PM »
Hey westcoast, glad to see you're still going strong, as am I. I'm finding its easier to ignore the urges if you keep yourself busy and not let your mind stray. Though when they come they come hard, but you gotta keep in mind to fight them off.

westcoaststar007

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Re: DAILY LOG: NO PMO, Beginning 11-20-14
« Reply #17 on: November 30, 2014, 11:27:23 PM »
Hi Matty B, absolutely today has been nuts I even went to a porn site and had the strength to turn it off. It's like sticking your arm in a shark's mouth and pulling it off right before it gets chopped up. It was tough but I am glad I found strength and discipline to not PMO. What helped me was thinking about to the future when I would be done and feeling crappy instead of the actual act which is the fun part.

Day 11: Very Strong Urges. Did not PMO. On to the Day 12. 8)

westcoaststar007

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Re: DAILY LOG: NO PMO, Beginning 11-20-14
« Reply #18 on: December 01, 2014, 01:54:40 AM »
Unfortunately, I had a relapse been studying on the computer all day and needed a relief and ended up PMOing. I guess down the line, Im going to have these strong urges after 10-15 days, I need to maybe just accept the masturbation and use pictures instead to salvage most of the recovery.

Well on to a new streak.

MattyB

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Re: DAILY LOG: NO PMO, Beginning 11-20-14
« Reply #19 on: December 01, 2014, 07:13:14 PM »
Dont beat yourself up too much man, a lot of people slip up, I know I did a lot. When I've been having my crazy sexual dreams lately I'll wake up from them and be so horny and just start to masturbate but stop myself from really getting into it.

I know for me a real trigger is having too much spare time and being on the computer, cause the porn sites are just a click away. So I'm trying to stay away from the computer as much as possible and get out of the house. Not something easily done for your studies but maybe you could go to the local library and use their computer to study?

westcoaststar007

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Re: DAILY LOG: NO PMO, Beginning 11-20-14
« Reply #20 on: November 10, 2015, 09:40:17 PM »
Restarting Again....after multiple streaks of a week, I have decided to try once again to reboot properly. I must say I was proud of my 50 day achievement last year but this time I want to quit for good. I am at a bad flatline with libido but super busy with work so right now I just want to keep my streak going. I started on oct 23 this time. Lets keep pushing! 8)