Author Topic: 43 year old tired of pmo  (Read 61398 times)

Jaystock

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43 year old tired of pmo
« on: November 12, 2014, 12:50:16 AM »
I've  been watching  porn since is was 16. I had a buddy that worked in a video  store, and he'd  let me use them. I had fun masterbating with a hard dick, but pretty  soon I wouldn't  get hard, so I started  humping  my pillow.  I could  cum with a soft dick. I've had several girlfriends, and I always made excuses too tired, too nervous, you know. I even tried  cialis, and viagra. They worked for a while. I had a gal I lived with, and I told her about my porn issues. If I wasn't  watching  porn, she could tell. I couldn't  keep it up. That was before  Internet  porn. Now a days all I have to do is type in my favorite  site, boom, I'm off to the races. My last day of porn was last friday the 6th. I'm so sick of this. I know my dick works, if I get on a video  that really gets my dopamine  going, I get as hard as a rock. Not for very long, but it goes up. Any pointers from anyone?

unchained

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #1 on: November 12, 2014, 07:57:40 AM »
You have to do the work. Abstinence from porn is the answer.  It is the only way.  If you want to heal, you have to leave porn behind 100%...no peeking.

In years past, I tried to quit many times for various reasons, birthdays, guilt, new girlfriend, getting married, having kids, etc.  It never worked, but back then I had no idea about pied or brain changes due to porn addiction.  I thought it was just something I liked, but later felt bad about.  Regardless, the white knuckled approach never worked for me and it usually doesn't work for others.

So my advice....
1. Go to yourbrainonporn.com.  Read every link about porn addiction and pied.  Read every success story.  Read every reboot account.  Watch every video.  Realizing what porn addiction is is critical knowledge.  You must know thy enemy before you can hope to defeat it.
2. Start a journal here (which you have) and post on it often, daily or more at first if necessary.  It helps to get your thoughts and feelings on paper, so to speak.  Others who are going through or have already gone through the same process will offer advice  and encouragement.
3. Participate in other people's journals and success stories.  It helps to become part of a community of people working together with a common goal.
4. There are other sites as well such as nofap and yourbrainrebalanced.com ...absorb all you can.
5. Find a hobby or interest to take place of the time you spent with porn.  In the beginning, this may be tough.  All I could think about was not thinking about porn, which in a way was still keeping porn in my head. So, my hobby was learning about the addiction and focusing on success stories who have been healed. Slowly, the anxiety eased and I enjoy other things.
6. Believe in the process.  It works.  It is beginning to work for me.  Life is much better, but I definitely have low times and temptations, but they are easier to deal with.

I am sure you'll get tons of good advice from others.  Good luck and stay strong.
« Last Edit: November 12, 2014, 09:06:39 PM by unchained »

Jaystock

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #2 on: November 12, 2014, 11:36:25 PM »
I've got my bike out, and started  riding again. It's been almost  a week since  I've pmo'd. I've not really  missed it yet. I've been so tired, when it's usually  my porn surfing time. It's crossed my mind to look, but thankfully  I've not given in. I want to beat this, and start  having boners again. I've been listening  to ybop. Gary Wilson is so right on
 I can totally  relate to everything  he says. Thank you all for reading  my posts. I really  appreciate  the support.

Jaystock

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2014, 12:26:23 AM »
I'm getting  horny. I'd love to M.O. it's not worth it. I've been reading  all these stories, and it gives me strength.  I'm so looking forward  to kissing my wife with a boner. I'm so sick of trying to work with a limp noodle. I saw an old lady probably 64. She had huge boobs, and I just starred at them, I felt my dopamine  level go up, so I just started think about college  football on Saturday

nobother

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2014, 09:38:04 AM »
At the height of my PMO - at home I would surf the P and then go into my workshop and M to a wonderful O.  It's hard to go back into my workshop and not MO.  I look around and think "those were the days, eh?"

My thoughts sometimes start to drift.  All of us had those erotic thoughts that we would play with (as well as our dicks).  Small steps - no M and no O and certainly no P.  I know this will sound like our dad talking (I am a dad and granddad) but getting through this will make us such better men.  We will be better lovers - better fathers - better husbands - just better to be around because we won't have that dark passenger with us.

Happy days are ahead my friend.  Like Home Depot says:  You can do this.

Jaystock

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2014, 10:59:22 AM »
Thank you, nobother.  That is my goal,  to be a better dad, and definitely  a better  husband. I appreciate  your words of support

HoosierState

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #6 on: November 14, 2014, 04:33:49 PM »
Yep, gotta find an outlet or a distraction when the horniness arises.  And it will arise.  Guys have talked about taking a cold shower.  I've not tried that - but the reason I think that works is the pain of a cold shower is enough to take your mind (radically) away from beating off to porn.  For me, getting naked is a trigger for MO or PMO, so I try putting my hand under very cold water and sometimes very hot (but not hot or cold enough to injure, doh!)  ...or maybe pinching my arm with just enough pain to take your mind on something else.  This method is absolutely not tested as safe, but it might work fo you in a ...er, pinch.

Second, what works for me is to avoid triggers at all costs.  Watch a movie with a sex scene - that's a trigger.  Read a magazine with a sexy ad - trigger again.  Surf Facebook on your phone and your buddies post a racy photo - trigger there too.  My mind is like "missile lock" and there is a point that if I choose to continue looking, then I cannot stop it.  Perhaps you're like this too.  Best to just avoid triggers - especially during reboot.  We are just not stronger than primal desires, and not a wise idea to continue to stoke them.

Third, I've found booze or some drugs can make the above triggers more powerful.  So it's especially important that I don't stare at any pictures that can establish "missile lock" with the help of a few beers or a joint.  Let's say I was somewhere and can't avoid porn or heavy sex scene, I'll move around so I can't see it.  I do what I have to do.  Even it it means leaving the scene.

Fourth.  My friends are still addicted to porn.  So if I out with the boys, I don't go with them to strip clubs, bars, or stare at their smart phone porn or watch their smart phone movies.  They are not yet enlightened and they are most likely still in the firm grip of porn.  But - imo- I cant help them at this point.  I'll help them later when I am strong and out of my second reboot successfully.  It is true that some guys can play with porn and not appear to have any problems - and so if you really don't know or completely trust them, leave your problem to yourself and this board.  Recently, I got together with my old college buddies for a few beers a while back. Both talked about how they had not had sex with their wives yet - this year.  Well what the hell do you think they are doing about it. Answer of course - is they are doing lots and lots of porn.  And probably ignoring their spouses and tearing their lives apart with it.  I fully intend to go back and help them after I fixed myself.

Last for me is to try to think about the pain of failing when you're struggling, and perhaps wanting to look at porn.  Visualize the pain you feel after.  Maybe pinch your arm while your visualizing.  You have got to "change the channel" in your mind.  The pain of WHY you hate porn (feelings after) need to be remembered before you relapse again.

Good luck.
« Last Edit: November 14, 2014, 04:39:51 PM by HoosierState »

Jaystock

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #7 on: November 16, 2014, 01:12:40 AM »
So, it's Saturday  night, just got back from the ufc fights. Instead  of wanting  to go to my favorite  porn site for some pmo'ing, I couldn't wait to get in bed and get on the reboot nation, and see how everyone  is doing. Right now I have no intention,  at all to surf junk. This place  is my happy place right now. I look  back and think about  how of my life I've  wasted, it makes me a little  sick to my stomach. I'm so looking  forward to the day I get a semi chub. I talked to my wife about what I'm dealing  with, and she is so proud of me. The last couple  of days I've been very emotional. I went to a high school  football  game playoff. After the game I was watching the losing team at the end of the field, they were crying. I kind of teared up too.the funny thing is...I didn't  know any of those boys

Jaystock

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #8 on: November 16, 2014, 12:22:21 PM »
For some reason  I had a wet dream  last night. I haven't  looked  at any P. If anyone  can give my any insight as to why that happened  please let me know. I've even  tried  to not even  think about anything  related  to P. I'm kind of bummed  out

Jaystock

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #9 on: November 18, 2014, 01:57:12 PM »
Thank you hoosier.  I appreciate  your tips, and advice.  It's  Tuesday,  and I'm in a truck, with a lot of idle time. It'd  be so easy to slip up today. Porn is no longer  an option  in my life. I love looking  on this site, and checking  on everyone's  progress. Stay strong rebooters

HoosierState

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #10 on: November 18, 2014, 03:57:33 PM »
YW Jaystock.  Keep reviewing "porn is not an option" somewhere here on the board.  Don't peek even for a second.  That's called "edging" and it's a big no no (still raises your dopamine and prolongs your brain changes needed to bring dopamine levels back to normal).  If you're feeling weak, then come here and post often, or read, or both.

nobother

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #11 on: November 18, 2014, 04:51:55 PM »
For some reason  I had a wet dream  last night.

Not an expert - but I have been told that you have probably fapped enough that your body got used to producing a certain amount of sperm.  Stopping the process put your body into overload and it has to come out so - BAM! the wet dream.  It comes out and the body goes Whew!  As you continue to decrease M and O your body will acclimate and probably the wet dreams will cease.

Remember:  no cheating.  I like to quote the great philosophers of our time.  There was a great philosopher named Yoda who told Luke Skywalker:  Do or do not - there is no try.

Good luck brother.  We are all here for you.  We will cheer your successes and cry with you on any failures you might have.

PMOVictory

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #12 on: November 18, 2014, 05:52:48 PM »
I would not worry about the wet dream, count yourself lucky.
I did a 90 day reboot, during this 90 days the wife and I did not even make love or tough each other.
I did not even masturbate nothing. I went cold turkey from regularly masturbating up to 2-3 times per day to nothing.
Throughout my reboot I anticipated getting a wet dream or more. Well nothing in 90 days!
So my take on it, some will get it, and others wont!

Stay strong and receive the Blessings!


unchained

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #13 on: November 18, 2014, 08:23:23 PM »
Do or do not - there is no try.

I like that...but then again I tend to see the world  in black and white.  It is true, however.  With this addiction, there is no halfway.  If you truly want the changes to come, you have to walk away...forever .

Jaystock

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #14 on: November 18, 2014, 11:14:39 PM »
Thanks you guys for replying  to my posts. I couldn't  be doing this change of life without  you guys. I'm lucky, the last couple  of days I've been driving,  where I have 4g, on my phone. I've been listening  to gary wilson, (ybop) all day. The more I listen  to him, the more everything makes sense. I can't believe  what a problem  Internet  porn is causing  for men, and women. Unlimited  novelty.

PMOVictory

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #15 on: November 19, 2014, 12:20:32 AM »
So true...
Quote
I've been listening  to gary wilson, (ybop) all day. The more I listen  to him, the more everything makes sense. I can't believe  what a problem  Internet  porn is causing  for men, and women. Unlimited  novelty.

But this is even more significant...
Quote
I'm lucky, the last couple  of days I've been driving,  where I have 4g, on my phone.
You have this available to you, and what do you do...? You choose to listen to Gary from YBOP, and not watch porn...!

Life is about choices, what choices are you making for your life today...?

Stay strong and receive the Blessings!



Jaystock

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #16 on: November 20, 2014, 12:21:35 AM »
I've had a great  day. I was home by myself,  all day. I had so many chores outside. I came  in the house one time, and that was to get some more  coffee.  I was watching  the ultimate  fighter  (girls), and I kind of hit a trigger.  I was watching  the girls  train, and I found  myself looking  for hard nipples, and ass cheeks. After the fight started,  I was over it. It's funny though, I could feel the dopamine,  wanting to get going  in my brain. Tomorrow  will be day 14. This is the longest  I've been without  pmo  in years. PORN IS NOT AN OPTION.  Thanks again  for the support.  I love reading  the  journals. It makes me feel like I'm not a freak.

PMOVictory

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #17 on: November 20, 2014, 03:04:01 PM »
There you go Brother Porn definitely is no option.

And yes you are not a freak

Stay strong and receive the Blessings!


Jaystock

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #18 on: November 22, 2014, 12:34:25 AM »
Thanks pmo victory.
Day 15, I could have an all nighter, with my little  phone, clicking,  and edging
 That would  be a giant  let down, for myself. We are all in this together. It's nice knowing  I'm not the only one halfway  suffering. Lol. Tomorrow  will be a new day. That much closer to getting  this monkey  off my back.



Jaystock

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #19 on: November 22, 2014, 12:43:11 AM »
I meant to add more. I've been  out in public today, I'm more social,  or something
 I feel  a ton more relaxed
 I've been  talking  to people, laughing. It is odd, for me. It's very nice though. It's almost  like I'm more approachable. I feel like I have a better  attention  span.


PMOVictory

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #20 on: November 22, 2014, 02:28:01 PM »
Everything and more is what you will start to experience during your reboot!
Glad you are doing so great!

Stay strong and receive the blessings!


Jaystock

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #21 on: November 23, 2014, 11:57:54 PM »
I've had a good day today. It's  kind of funny (not really) I've been 17 days  with no pmo, and I'm having  more triggers than I thought  a human can have. I'm trying  (and doing ) to just keep mind thinking  good clean thoughts
 I watched  my wife change  into her pj's
 My privates  kind of stood  at attention.  My wife was impressed. So was i. I would love to touch her. I have at least 2 weeks to I go down that path. It sure will be fun.im not thinking  about p. I have my kids all weekend, cause my wife works. If my kids weren't with me  on the weekemds, it might be a different  story. Stay strong guys. It's worth it
 I feel like a completely different person, right now

nobother

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #22 on: November 24, 2014, 08:42:11 PM »
I am happy for you.  Celebrate the small victories.  Immerse yourself into your kids.  They will keep you from thinking about it.

I am 14 days without p.  I am feeling pretty good - like I have actually accomplished something that I have not been able to do (so far).

Happy days are ahead for all of us.  Stay strong.

Jaystock

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #23 on: November 25, 2014, 01:02:10 AM »
I think I'm either  flay lining, or getting  better. I ran a heavy  piece  of  equipment  all day, so I didn't  have a second  to think about  anything  pmo related. Then after  I get home my brain  was exhausted. New day tomorrow,  I hope for you all to stay  strong

lyon03

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Re: 43 year old tired of pmo
« Reply #24 on: November 25, 2014, 03:22:55 AM »
Stick with it brother. We're roughly the same age and I've just celebrated 27 days no PMO. Wet dreams are a welcome and very natural release and I'm a bit envious because I've got blue balls like you wouldn't believe! I'd recommend getting a copy of the e-book, "Your Brain on Porn." For me distraction and boredom often lead to urges/seeking so I'd simply switch to reading a few pages before getting back to work. Stay strong and thanks for your posts. They've helped me a lot.