Author Topic: Time for A Fresh Start  (Read 44094 times)

Recovery101

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Time for A Fresh Start
« on: October 16, 2014, 12:48:49 AM »
Hi I'm a 13 year old boy. I've been PMO for almost 3 years now. I've tried to quit and I just keep getting tempted and end up relapsing. My best record is probably 16days. I decided that this is the final straw and I really need to start making a charge in my life. I don't want to see girls as sex toys or whatever. I want to see them as human beings again. I will try to do this journal as much as I can and keep everyone posted. Thanks for taking time to read this. If you have any tips or suggestions, feel free to comment! Until Next Time- Rec101

Recovery101

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #1 on: October 16, 2014, 01:02:54 AM »
Day1
I have thoughts and urges......trying to resists temptation by doing homework or other things. I'm trying to eat more healthy and change my died. Trying to get a six-pack.....idk if I can get it now though since I probably don't have that much metabolism... Tomorrow when I wake up, I'll start working out again until I get that six-pack. Are their any suggestions of a good diet? Thanks. -Rec101 

Innocence

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2014, 05:07:07 PM »
Welcome to the forum!

I'm also on a little bit of a diet, I try to stay away from most soda, junk food and candy.
Especially candy!

Don't make it too hard for yourself though, I personally do eat chips from time to time.
Eating healthier in general can also be a big plus!

Working out is for me personally a great way to resist urges, so I'd recommend holding onto that!

Stay strong buddy

Recovery101

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #3 on: October 16, 2014, 11:17:58 PM »
Thanks for your support! I read your journal, it's very inspiring! Thanks for the suggestion. I will try this diet. Thanks for commenting and your support!  :)

Recovery101

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #4 on: October 16, 2014, 11:38:10 PM »
Day 2:

I have so many questions. Like will I ever be normal again? Will my eyes go back to normal?(they're kind of sunken) Will my Penis be normal again? (Porn Induced ED) Will my lower back pain go away? Will the fatigue go away? Will my hair grow back normally? Is there a forum or a website I can find the answers? Please feel free to comment tips or suggestions.

Now that that's out of the way, today's been an OK day. I've had thoughts, but I kept strong and refused to relapse. I napped after school because I was too tired to even walk to my room. Changing my diet to eating healty for that six pack I want because I want to sign up for highschool football next year. My cousin says I should sign up for this football summer camp, since I don't know anything about football besides running, catching, and tackling. Lol. Figured I should get of my ass if I want to quit PMO. This journey to stopping PMO is gonna be hell, but I KNOW I can get through it. Wish me luck- Rec101
« Last Edit: October 17, 2014, 12:51:16 AM by Recovery101 »

Innocence

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #5 on: October 17, 2014, 08:55:16 AM »
Great to see you have a lot of plans!

About your issues, no PMO won't fix everything but you can try to think about how you felt before you started watching porn.
Just take your time and try to keep yourself motivated and you'll feel the difference very soon especially because you're so young!
Asking those questions in the forum is never a wrong thing to do, a lot of people are happy to share their experiences
and you can always visit yourbrainonporn.com to read blogs you can relate to.
(Or a quick google usually helps too)

I think a lot of people (including me) are pretty jealous you found it out on such a young age.
Your brain is still very flexible so that's a really big plus.

So keep going strong buddy!


Recovery101

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #6 on: November 02, 2014, 11:36:42 PM »
Hi. I know I haven't been on in awhile, but I should've been on more because I've relapsed. 3 times to be precise.  :-* I really need help to get back on track again. I knew this journey was going to be hard, but I didn't expect it to be hell itself. I've learned my lesson from now on I will try to be as active as I can, so I can get the help I need. Please feel free to tell my how you guys are recovering and feel free to give any advice on staying away from PMO. So here it goes....again....
-Rec101

Recovery101

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #7 on: November 04, 2014, 02:08:05 AM »
Lol I fucked up on my emoji in my last post. I meant this :'(
Day 1
Today has been hard. I've had so many urges and even considered and started doing it. I touched myself for probably 1-3 seconds then realized it was wrong and I wasn't going to give up this easily. It is really hard i control the urges, but hopefully,soon they will go away. Other than that, I've been playing this new IOS game called SAS:4, and I've been practicing the lead guitar part for Sweet Child o' Mine by Guns n' Roses. I'm stuck on the main solo where Slash does the build up to the Pentatonic Scale and absolutely shreds it. I also want to diet again because I gained a couple of pounds eating all my Halloween Candy.  ;D That's basically how my day went. If you have any suggestions for a diet I can try, any advice, or just random stuff you want to talk about, feel free to comment and say what's on your mind. By the way if I don't post everyday, that usually will mean I'm busy doing school work and I will probably try to do it the next day or any of the following days. -Rec101

Recovery101

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #8 on: November 05, 2014, 02:10:36 AM »
Day 2
I haven't had major urges, but I've had flashbacks or just start thinking about porn at the most random times. Is this bad? Can someone plz tell me if I keep rebooting the porn fantasies and the thoughts will go away?  Plz feel free to tell me your thoughts. Other than that nothing major really happened. I slept when I got home from school, did homework, practiced guitar, and now I'm looking up other rock n roll songs to play. Gonna exercise before I go to bed, but that'll be hard because I jammed my thumb.  :( Well that's how my day basically went. Again feel free to share your thoughts and advice! :) -Rec101

Recovery101

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #9 on: November 06, 2014, 02:01:06 AM »
Day 3:
I'm very pissed. I hate the principal at my school. He took my football 2 weeks ago, went out of town and still won't give it back, after he said he'd only keep it for 1 week.
Anyway, no major urges, just thoughts again. I'm trying to be very busy and perfect my guitar playing, so I'm not on my ass all day doing nothing. I know this is a short entry, but it's pretty late and I have school tomorrow, so yeah.....-Rec101

Recovery101

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #10 on: November 07, 2014, 02:36:12 AM »
Day 4
So I got my football back. Really tired....no major urges though, but I did accidentally see an almost naked upperbody pic of a girl of Instagram, but thank god she was covering her boobies. Lol. So I guess it doesn't really a nude pic. I should really stop doing these updates so late beacause I'm so tired. I'll try doing earlier. Anyway that's it for today- Rec101

Recovery101

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #11 on: November 08, 2014, 01:08:19 AM »
Day5
Had a HUGE urge today, but I DID NOT relapse! I feel proud because I was able to discipline myself. I prayed hard not to relapse and over come the temptations and God answered my Prayers. (Btw I'm Christian for all of you who are wondering) One of the secrets to over coming the urges is thinking of or doing something else. When the urges came I prayed, played video games, went outside, and went on Youtube to watch some Roosterteeth(a youtube channel) to get my mind off it. I have to wake up early tomorrow, so I'm going to end this on a high note. If you're reading this and your on the verge of relapsing, slap yourself, punch your dick, say your prayers, and say no to PMO! -Rec101

Recovery101

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #12 on: November 09, 2014, 02:30:06 AM »
Day6
So I got a counter last night and i finally set it to the right time! I was at my friend's house for most of the day, but when I got home and played video games, the urges kicked in. It wasn't a big urge or small urge, it was in between. A medium urge. I stayed true to myself and said I was better than porn and said no. Staying strong and tomorrow will be 1 week since I've relapsed! Very excited to write about that tomorrow. Till next time-Rec101

Recovery101

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #13 on: November 10, 2014, 12:51:28 AM »
Day7
Yeah! I made it a week without PMO! Feeling pretty proud of myself, but I still have many weeks to go before my reboot is complete. Today the urges were REALLY STRONG, but I prayed to god and it worked! I stood my ground and did not relapse. I know this was a short entry, but I still have Homework. Until next time-Rec101

Recovery101

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #14 on: November 11, 2014, 01:43:18 PM »
Day 8
Happy Veteran's Day! Sorry I forgot to post last night, but I will be posting later tonight about Day9.
The urges and flashbacks are somewhat stronger than they were before. Trying my best to stand my ground and not relapse. So far the things I've done to not relapse are:
1. Pray
2. Keep my mind off PMO
3. Be active
4. Play video games
5. Play guitar
6. Do outdoor activities
7. Go to friend's place
Those are what's keeping me calm and collected at the moment and not be controlled by lust or my own sexual dissires. When I woke up some of my morning wood came back, but it was not as hard and erect as it was before; I'm glad because it shows some progress of my reboot/recovery. Like I said I will post later tonight. Until then -Rec101

Recovery101

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #15 on: November 13, 2014, 12:51:12 AM »
Day10
Sorry didn't get to do Day 9. I had a lot of homework...
But nothing much happened.
Anyway, it's my Birthday!!! Officially 14! Been getting so many birthday greets from friends and family. No major urges or flashbacks. My back feels worse than it was before though,But I guess stuff has to get worse before it gets better right? -Rec101

nobother

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #16 on: November 13, 2014, 03:35:03 PM »
Recovery:

Happy B-day.  Glad you are making progress.  I noticed your goal bar.  Going a year without PMO might be a little hard to achieve.  Take baby steps towards fulfilling your goals.  Think about setting your bar to 30 days.....then 60 days.......then 120 days.....etc.  Achieving your goals will help you mentally.  Celebrate each time you make a goal.  (Not PMO, however!!)  Pat yourself on the back and set the next goal farther out so you have to s-t-r-e-t-c-h to obtain it.

Do well, brother.  We are all thinking positive thoughts about you.

Recovery101

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #17 on: November 14, 2014, 02:36:59 AM »
Day 11
I don't know if it's urges or I'm just really horny....:(
Really bored, just excited for Friday. Nothing much happened because I slept after school and did homework. Flash backs are still there. My lower back still hurts.....waiting on my conditions to get better. By the way tomorrow after school I will be heading to Las Vegas for the weekend to do a 5k Marathon, so i probably won't be posting until Sunday or Monday Night. Thanks for all of you're guys' support and advice. It really helps me to stay strong and true to this reboot-Rec101

Recovery101

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #18 on: November 17, 2014, 07:48:21 PM »
Day 0
Well.....I can honestly say that Vegas is the worst place to be during a reboot. That's right I relapsed, but I didn't M to P. I just M'ed. I feel worthless right now. I feel like a huge let down to everyone around me. To all of you who are reading this and had faith in me, I'm sorry I let you down.....I really am. My hard work has diminished as everything is falling apart at the seems. I don't know what to do now but try. Try harder than I've tried before. Everytime I fall, I want to get back up. I'm not letting this PMO demon stop me from reaching my full potential. This probably won't be my last time falling, but if I do, I sure as hell am not staying down! Time to get back up! -Rec101

Doc Green

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #19 on: November 18, 2014, 04:19:34 AM »
Head up kid

Recovery101

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #20 on: November 19, 2014, 02:20:13 AM »
Day 1
Whelp, here we go....again.
I'm still mad at myself for relapsing, and then again I'm not in a way. Relapsing made me realize more of my triggers and that to be truly successful, you have to take falls and stumbles. But you don't stay down....
Also, it made me realize what my life was before PMO. It was amazing.....I felt like I was traveling back in time. It felt like I there was no such thing as P. I felt happy for once in my life.....I've never felt that kind of happiness since I started PMO 3 years ago. Now, I'm more determined than ever to get that happiness back. I just have to keep my head up, never look back, and move on.-Rec101

Recovery101

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #21 on: November 20, 2014, 01:35:49 AM »
Day 2
Nothing much has happened today. Just been kind of depressed and sad.
No major urges just very small ones. I'm keeping my mind of PMO by reading books. It seems to be working, which is pretty cool. Tomorrow morning, I'll wake up and do my morning work out routine. Until next time-Rec101

Recovery101

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #22 on: November 22, 2014, 01:36:43 AM »
Day 4
Sorry didn't have time to post yesterday. I was too tired. There was a major storm that I slept through this morning. Lol . Day 3 was just a bunch of flashback and minor urges, and so was today. My friends and I had just gone downtown to see the Holiday Stroll. It's a thing where we walk around downtown and there are people passing out free food and singing Christmas Songs and stuff. It was pretty fun, and I'm wiped out. Gonna go to bed. Until next time -Rec101

Recovery101

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #23 on: November 23, 2014, 12:04:13 AM »
Day 0
I've relapsed... I tried my best to stay away, but after you relapse and relapse, you start to think about something. That's "Why am I doing this?" For me I thought I was doing it for myself, for the people who believe in me. But now I'm having second thoughts. I don't know why I'm doing this anymore. I'm going to try and figure out why I'm doing this reboot. I'm going to find my reason. I'll be away from this site for awhile, but that does not mean I'm going to PMO while I'm gone. I'll reset my counter when I do... I'll come back and post here when I'm ready. Until then, I write this post with humility, Humility that will only make me stronger in my stopping PMO. -Rec101

Doc Green

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Re: Time for A Fresh Start
« Reply #24 on: November 23, 2014, 09:05:11 AM »
Hey man the reason why you're doing this reboot is easy. Its because you nor anybody else on this forum no longer wishes to be a slave to porn! Personally, it has been running my life for far too long and it has ruined my teenage years! Being a slave to porn made me miss all the fun I should have had to stay hone and jerk off constantly! You are young. The reason you're doing this reboot is so when you grow up you can have fun , have a clear head, and live your life according how you wish to do it. During your time off I hope you can stay away from PMO we are all here supporting you every step of the way as everyone is for me too :)