Author Topic: Let's rewire. This time for real.  (Read 23642 times)

Innocence

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 193
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #25 on: November 04, 2014, 09:15:02 AM »
[Day 35]

For the past 2 days I've been having arguments with my mother, at last I decided to apologize to her, yet she didn't apologize back and held strong that was far from needed.

Many things came to happen again and I got so mad I started throwing things around in my room.
As we speak even my room's floor is covered in glass.
I also walked away from my home, even though it rained I couldn't care less I just went on as I was so extremely mad.

She really needs a therapist, because she calls me crazy for what I do when I get angry but she's the one who is making me angry even if I scream for her to stop..

Still haven't PMO'ed and I don't feel the need to.

Innocence

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 193
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #26 on: November 05, 2014, 06:24:10 PM »
[Day 36]

Still going strong, yet it's not going so well at home with my mother at the moment.
We're ignoring each other 24/7 at the moment, yet I don't and will not let effect this my reboot, I've come too far for that!
Going to work-out again tomorrow to release the stress and just be away (excluding school).

nofap97

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 15
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #27 on: November 09, 2014, 01:36:16 PM »
[Day 36]

Still going strong, yet it's not going so well at home with my mother at the moment.
We're ignoring each other 24/7 at the moment, yet I don't and will not let effect this my reboot, I've come too far for that!

Don't let anything effect your reboot, it will make it worse.

Keep going strong!  ;)

"[...]even though porn vids are free, it comes with a very real price." - Bibbity

Innocence

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 193
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #28 on: November 09, 2014, 03:34:22 PM »
[Day 40]

Spent the last weekend at my dad's place, had some great talks with him considering the fights with my mother and managed to solve those.
Still going strong with barley to no urges at all!

Innocence

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 193
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #29 on: November 09, 2014, 03:34:48 PM »
[Day 36]

Still going strong, yet it's not going so well at home with my mother at the moment.
We're ignoring each other 24/7 at the moment, yet I don't and will not let effect this my reboot, I've come too far for that!

Don't let anything effect your reboot, it will make it worse.

Keep going strong!  ;)

Thank you for the feedback, I really appreciate it!

datkid93

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 107
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #30 on: November 09, 2014, 03:52:54 PM »
That's great that your urges are relatively low and youve managed to fix things at home. Just continue to focus on other aspects of your life and you'll be good. Keep going strong man your doing great!

sadboiboi

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 31
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #31 on: November 09, 2014, 11:50:16 PM »
Try to keep yourself busy with lots of stuffs to do, like hanging out with your friends, playing sports and doing your favourite things! It works for me for keeping those thoughts off! And dont give up!

Innocence

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 193
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #32 on: November 10, 2014, 11:25:18 AM »
That's great that your urges are relatively low and youve managed to fix things at home. Just continue to focus on other aspects of your life and you'll be good. Keep going strong man your doing great!
Thank you for the feedback, my father taught me a wise lesson about addictions.
If you keep being strong the urges will fade again and you'll feel good that you did!
Even though his addiction was smoking, it does really help when I'm in a bad craving.

Try to keep yourself busy with lots of stuffs to do, like hanging out with your friends, playing sports and doing your favourite things! It works for me for keeping those thoughts off! And dont give up!
Thank you too for the great feedback!
Going to work-out tonight to get rid of all that energy!

Innocence

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 193
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #33 on: November 10, 2014, 11:29:43 AM »
[Day 41]

I'm starting to feel more changes, for example today I had a pretty serious conversation yet I felt pretty calm about it.
Normally I would be pretty afraid, trying to hide my fear and just close myself off but this time I faced it without even thinking about it!

Even my mother complimented me suddenly that she said she thought I made a way stronger and more clear impression on her lately.

I was really glad hearing that just out of the blue without giving any hints or whatsoever.
She doesn't know about my reboot though, I've been feeling like telling her but I feel still a bit embarrassed since porn is like a really weird thing to her,
so I don't feel very comfortable telling her I was addicted all those years..
It's not bothering me though, I'm so happy with the support I'm getting here, the journals that truly are motivating and I told some people I met online (anonymously) and it has been a great support for me!

Going to take a short nap and then work-out again or else I don't think I will do a lot. And I don't feel like skipping.

Innocence

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 193
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #34 on: November 11, 2014, 11:35:48 AM »
[Day 42]

Had quite a shitty day, couldn't concentrate, also a little bit changes in having a boner or not.
It changes a little from strong erections to the next day with none at all, during my reboot I actually prefer none but I'm glad to see at least it's changing in a good way too!

Besides that I had a lot of head aches, pain in my eye and stomach so I took a pretty powerful pain killer which solved everything but it's a one time solution to me.

Yesterday I still felt too tired to work out so that will be today as I have more energy.


Innocence

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 193
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #35 on: November 11, 2014, 07:03:17 PM »
[day 42 part 2]

I came back from the gym completely exhausted, I've been working out really hard and I had to be honest it felt great once again!
Compared to when I started I've been gotten quite a bit stronger and my condition has improved.

I was pretty positive until, well I suddenly got blue balls. I truly don't recall how it happened, I've not been viewing any nsfw stuff yet it happened.
Started looking on ybop and decided to do the cold water trick yet for some reason I've attained some big urges.
Feeling quite nervous out of nowhere and the desire to release stress through MO but I'm doing my best not to, therefore I'm writing a part 2 in my day 42.

1996addict

  • Guest
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #36 on: November 11, 2014, 07:27:42 PM »
Stick with the gym Buddy!  Nothing better for stress.  The only drawback is that it increases testosterone.   For me trying to stop jerking off at your age was fruitless.  I may get called out for saying this.. but jerking off as a teenager is normal (as long as it isn't dond in excess ).  However,  I would definitely recommend  staying away from porn.  You'd be surprised at what a little imagination will do.  ;)
Hang in there  Bud!  Feel free to PM me if u need someone to talk to.   

Innocence

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 193
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #37 on: November 15, 2014, 01:54:36 PM »
Stick with the gym Buddy!  Nothing better for stress.  The only drawback is that it increases testosterone.   For me trying to stop jerking off at your age was fruitless.  I may get called out for saying this.. but jerking off as a teenager is normal (as long as it isn't dond in excess ).  However,  I would definitely recommend  staying away from porn.  You'd be surprised at what a little imagination will do.  ;)
Hang in there  Bud!  Feel free to PM me if u need someone to talk to.

Thanks man, I really appreciate it!
I will have to stick with the gym because I bought a 6 month subscription, would be a waste if I wouldn't go.

Innocence

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 193
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #38 on: November 15, 2014, 01:59:24 PM »
[Day 46]

Been having a lot of mood swings, from lonely and depressed to really moody.
There were even times when I questioned myself what was wrong and what was right, it felt like my emotions were racing through my mind yet I'm okay now.
Last Thursday, won't say I'm proud of it, was when I went to the coffee shop and bought some weed.
I will not recommend this to anyone but it personally put my head to rest.

Today I'm w/o weed again and felt slightly more tired but after some food/soup/exercise I'm feeling like myself again.
Lately it's been a bit weird with my urges, I can have no problems at all, not even thinking about pmo and it can suddenly change where I'm just sitting with a boner for a while
trying to resist doing anything. Luckily, I'm still successful without PMO.
Yet the dreams is something that keeps confusing me and reminding me of how it was before my reboot.

Innocence

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 193
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #39 on: November 16, 2014, 04:23:17 PM »
[Day 47]

Oh man I'm so moody yet lonely.
Feeling really lonely yet if someone talks to me it annoys me endlessly, for example my father called me today and I couldn't wait for him to hang up.
I hope he didn't noticed how annoyed I was, but he didn't seem to.
Guess I just miss having a girlfriend with whom I could share my thoughts and that she could make me feel better again by cuddling or just talking.
I have to set myself over that..

Still going strong without PMO, even though, I wish the moods were a bit brighter.
« Last Edit: November 16, 2014, 04:58:18 PM by Innocence »

Innocence

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 193
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #40 on: November 20, 2014, 05:06:10 PM »
[Day 51]

I'm not really focused anymore on not fapping nor watching porn.
It's starting to become a habit, I think this is a very positive development but this also means my journal will become less active.

Doc Green

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 35
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #41 on: November 20, 2014, 09:43:09 PM »
You are doing very well ! I can't even picture myself going that far without PMO . its been so long that its been apart of my life. The longest I went without it was like 22 days :/

Innocence

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 193
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #42 on: November 22, 2014, 11:22:27 AM »
You are doing very well ! I can't even picture myself going that far without PMO . its been so long that its been apart of my life. The longest I went without it was like 22 days :/

Don't worry!
I've been with PMO since I was about 11 until I started rebooting. If I can do it, so can you!
Also, yes the beginning is hard, but once you can stick yourself with it, it gets easier by the day!
The only thing you'll have to fight are the random urges from time to time.

Innocence

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 193
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #43 on: November 22, 2014, 11:25:14 AM »
[Day 53]

Since yesterday I became pretty badly sick. Throat hurts like hell and I keep coughing and sneezing. My nose was completely stuck and it still kinda is.
Today I woke up with a fever and I've been in bed since, at the moment I'm feeling slightly better but I'm not too happy about it.
My depression is a bit lower, yet I wouldn't say I'm happy.
 

Doc Green

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 35
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #44 on: November 22, 2014, 02:15:38 PM »
Hey man I am pretty sick too hope you feel better soon!

Innocence

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 193
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #45 on: November 24, 2014, 11:43:35 AM »
[Day 55]

Saturday night I had a great dinner at a fancy restaurant with my mother and my brother. My brother and I were always fighting but since this time we did really fine! Afterwards I even stayed with my brother at my dad's place where we hung out with him and a couple of friends of his I know as well.
It made me feel really good having fun together.

Today has been awful, suddenly I'm getting so much urges and so much boners which are stronger than I can remember.
It does make me feel more confident knowing the reboot is working but it's really difficult resisting yet I am doing it! Tonight I'll spend some more time at the gym so I'll be away from the computer and I can release this strength in exercise.

Besides that, I'm almost hitting my second month! I'm pretty proud of myself.

datkid93

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 107
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #46 on: November 24, 2014, 01:08:00 PM »
That's awesome man your well on your way to recovery.  Keep it up. JUST Don't give in the urges I know they suck but you've made it so far its not even worth it. How have your dreams been? Are they still porn related? Anyway keep going and Stay strong brotha!

Innocence

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 193
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #47 on: November 24, 2014, 06:40:44 PM »
That's awesome man your well on your way to recovery.  Keep it up. JUST Don't give in the urges I know they suck but you've made it so far its not even worth it. How have your dreams been? Are they still porn related? Anyway keep going and Stay strong brotha!

Thanks for the reply mate!
The dreams have vanished along the way as I've avoided all the sexual stimuli. It's kind of nice not having to worry about dreams anymore.
I'm indeed pretty far, I'm near 2 months and I'm really proud of myself!

Innocence

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 193
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #48 on: November 25, 2014, 08:43:41 AM »
[Day 56]

It's getting slightly harder, have been feeling rather aroused lately, yesterday working out worked really great! All my energy was just out of my system, it did leave me exhausted though. Posting away on this forum helps me vent but having more and more boners through out the day is really frustrating. I need to keep my head straight on the reboot or I might relapse. Luckily that hasn't happened though!

Innocence

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 193
    • View Profile
Re: Let's rewire. This time for real.
« Reply #49 on: November 29, 2014, 05:21:54 PM »
[Day 60]

Time does go really fast, already day 60 and thinking of seeking help for my depressive moods. I've always been heavily against professional help as it has never helped me in the past but I'm willing to maybe give it another try.
Besides all the negativity, YES, I've successfully hit 60 days! I will count the day after tomorrow (62 days) as 2 months and I'm 100% sure I'll hit that too.
 
« Last Edit: December 01, 2014, 09:16:40 AM by Innocence »