Journals > Ages 30-39

Some more words, this time from Armitage

(1/4) > >>

armitage:
Hello all. I've been on forums like this one for five or six years or something crazy like that.

I've read many a helpful and insightful comment. Hopefully I've written a few as well. I've had wise accountability partners. I've done the fabled 90-day streak. I've gone much longer in terms of avoiding actual P, but occasionally slipping up by looking at P-subs.

My addiction was/is also based around chat rooms and online chat in general. Both "clean" chat and not-so-clean chat.

Anyway, I've written so much over the years that I've basically done fairly extensive, and free, therapy thanks to these types of forums. I've also encountered many trolls and other undesirables, and made liberal use of "ignore" functions (I'm not sure if this forum has one of those).

Yeah, I won't go back and edit this post, except for any typos. I'll keep it free-flowing.

I'm on Day 10 of no M but yesterday was a bit of a mess in some ways, so yeah, some P and chat "peeking" happened.

Going back to the free therapy thing. That's great and all, but maybe the real trick is simplicity. Keep it simple and humble.

Signing off, Armitage.

EarthWalker:
2020 is a perfect year to clean up some mess. Welcome back!

Wish you good luck on the journey.
EW

armitage:
Thanks Earthwalker.

This is my first time on this particular forum. You know, I've never actually "taken a break" from quitting since I started five or six years ago. It's always been obvious to me, since I started recovery, that quitting is the way to go. Still I've had countless slip ups, but I never said screw it I'm gonna go back to my old, addicted ways.

I've been clean since that messy day, and in fact I've done a lot of literal cleaning up and tidying the past few days as well.

armitage:
Day 19 of no M
Day 10 of no P or chat (although I am in contact with someone from a chat room, but this person appears to not be an addict of  this kind of stuff)

My opinion on day counting varies, but it can be useful to make the occasional note of it for future reference.

I haven't had many urges for P for a while - until today. I tried a bit of "urge surfing". I said to myself, maybe later, but first I'll have a shower, brush my teeth and do a few things, then see how I feel. So I've done that and I'll be eating dinner soon. Hopefully any trace of urges will be basically gone after dinner.

Chat urges are more common for me. I often get urges to see if a particular chatter is online (that chatter varies also). One trick here is to realise that that person I want to chat to is probably a similar addict to me, plus they probably aren't even trying to quit. Not the kind of person I should be dealing with really.

Right, have to get going. Perhaps I'll post more often though.

Chris1986:
Hi and welcome :).

I can relate to the online chat. Did you find your chat were often very robotic at times and not truly representative of you?

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

Go to full version