Author Topic: Boner with Porn and Partner, but can't feel my cock. Doc says I'm healthy!  (Read 601 times)

Calvin83

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Hello, I can achieve an okay erection with my partner(no porn involved) and reach orgasm. Yet, my penis and balls have minimal sensitivity during intercourse and handjobs. I've never done the death grip. My blood, testosterone, vitamin and mineral levels are all in the healthy range. Also, I am STD free. However, I do watch hours of porn daily and believe I am desensitized because I can only get hard with my partner or porn. If I have to rely on hands touch alone, a boner is impossible. Does a desensitized brain lead to no feeling in the testicles and cock even while achieving an erection without ED drugs? What do you think is the issue?
« Last Edit: July 22, 2020, 11:49:00 PM by Calvin83 »

malando

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Hello, I can achieve an okay erection with my partner(no porn involved) and reach orgasm. Yet, my penis and balls have minimal sensitivity during intercourse and handjobs. I've never done the death grip. My blood, testosterone, vitamin and mineral levels are all in the healthy range. Also, I am STD free. However, I do watch hours of porn daily and believe I am desensitized because I can only get hard with my partner or porn. If I have to rely on hands touch alone, a boner is impossible. Does a desensitized brain lead to no feeling in the testicles and cock even while achieving an erection without ED drugs? What do you think is the issue?
Yes, it could be desensitisation. The real question is, why haven't you been motivated enough to quit your "hours of porn daily" habit to find out? What's the point if it's not even enjoyable? That's the definition of addiction - doing something compulsively that you can't stop or regulate, that's harming you.

Stevew

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Anti hairloss shampoo/meds gave me desentisation (went away with stopping its use)... not sure if you are using those. But yeah deathgrip could be it. Quit and find out!
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DoneAtLast

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Your biggest sexual organ is between your ears, and that is what is having the problems.  Doc says you're healthy because he is checking out the ones between your legs, and those are likely okay.

You're absolutely right about desensitization.  It is 100% real and happens all the time.  Quitting porn is the answer.  It isn't easy, but there are no negative consequences.  In fact, the harder it is, the more reason to think you need to quit.  Give it a shot.

fofojo

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I am actually going to a urologist next week for the same reason. I know I'll probably come to the same conclusion but the thought of there being a magical drug or procedure to help me feel something again is the only thing that's kept me going for two weeks.

DoneAtLast

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I am actually going to a urologist next week for the same reason. I know I'll probably come to the same conclusion but the thought of there being a magical drug or procedure to help me feel something again is the only thing that's kept me going for two weeks.

So, taking medications or having surgery are more appealing to you than quitting porn?

fofojo

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So, taking medications or having surgery are more appealing to you than quitting porn?


No. taking medications or having surgery as a MEANS to make quitting porn easier is more appealing to me than having to go hard mode for 50 days so that I can actually feel something with a partner again
« Last Edit: July 24, 2020, 09:10:43 PM by fofojo »

Calvin83

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Yes, it could be desensitisation. The real question is, why haven't you been motivated enough to quit your "hours of porn daily" habit to find out? What's the point if it's not even enjoyable? That's the definition of addiction - doing something compulsively that you can't stop or regulate, that's harming you.
I struggle with motivation because I am a voyeur and enjoy watching other people be intimate. Also, I'm into many fetishes that my partner as well as most people don’t find enjoyable. So, it feels like porn helps to satisfy the rest of my sexual needs that a partner realistically can’t provide. The fetishes existed before I viewed porn. Physically and Mentally PMO is no longer a very fun activity due to chronically abusing porn. Maybe, people who don’t want to remove porn from their life forever, should do a full reboot and then try to reintroduce the stimulus. But, this time in moderation? I'm hoping an hour a day limit will work, after healing. If I become desensitized again at just 1 hour a day of porn use, then ill quit forever. 
Anti hairloss shampoo/meds gave me desentisation (went away with stopping its use)... not sure if you are using those. But yeah deathgrip could be it. Quit and find out!
I’m not taking any anti hair loss meds. However, I’ve considered it.
Your biggest sexual organ is between your ears, and that is what is having the problems.  Doc says you're healthy because he is checking out the ones between your legs, and those are likely okay.

You're absolutely right about desensitization.  It is 100% real and happens all the time.  Quitting porn is the answer.  It isn't easy, but there are no negative consequences.  In fact, the harder it is, the more reason to think you need to quit.  Give it a shot.
It's easy to turn down caffeine for a few weeks, but it's a conscious effort for me to last 7 days without looking at pixels on a screen. A full reboot and then reintroduce in moderation seems to be worth a try. I’m 110% convinced now that, “Your biggest sexual organ is between your ears.”
No. taking medications or having surgery as a MEANS to make quitting porn easier is more appealing to me than having to go hard mode for 50 days so that I can actually feel something with a partner again
Many guys notice perceptible progress regarding erections and mental arousal until the 1-1.5y mark of a hard mode reboot. That is challenging, I understand why you might be considering other solutions.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2020, 12:35:26 AM by Calvin83 »

DoneAtLast

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" Also, I'm into many fetishes that my partner as well as most people don’t find enjoyable. So, it feels like porn helps to satisfy the rest of my sexual needs that a partner realistically can’t provide. The fetishes existed before I viewed porn."

You are 100% correct in that quitting porn will not remove your fetishes if they pre-existed porn, but that isn't the whole story.  Chances are good that porn amped it all up and quitting porn can make them sink way down.  Porn makes the fetishes the centerpiece of your sexuality, whereas if porn never existed, it might have been a peculiar inclination that you would've been barely conscious of.  I say this from personal experience, and from witnessing lots of stuff on these boards.  Exactly what your relationship to the fetishes will look like after quitting I can't tell you, but I would be money that 1) it will cease to be a necessary element for your arousal, and 2) it'll be unrecognizable to you. 

Calvin83

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Exactly what your relationship to the fetishes will look like after quitting I can't tell you, but I would be money that 1) it will cease to be a necessary element for your arousal, and 2) it'll be unrecognizable to you.

I can gain and keep an erection without engaging in fetish play, but I don't feel arousal unless those fetishes are brought into the bedroom. Thanks for the info.