Author Topic: Youtube vs Porn  (Read 595 times)

jonnywishbone

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Youtube vs Porn
« on: July 14, 2020, 03:54:25 PM »
42 y/o just wanted to share some success I've had recently which I thought might help people....

First discovered YBOP about 8 years ago and it was a revelation.  I cut out porn immediately and after a few months started to see the benefits.  I was single at the time and it really helped with my confidence, not to mention ED issues I'd had practically all my adult life.  I'd come out of a LTR and it helped me start dating and having sex again and get a new GF.

Fast forward to now and  I've been single for about 4 years.  In all that time I've had little to no interest in sex, dating or relationships.  After some bad experiences with women (not PIED related) I figured I just needed a break.  I work from home a lot and thought maybe it was due to not getting out much, or maybe because I was getting older.  I'd started using porn again occasionally during that time, but the weird thing is I just wasn't that interested in it any more, or M.  When I did M I'd have to use really intense extreme fantasy to get off, but it was rare i'd even do that.  I thought maybe i was depressed, but also sort of wasn't bothered about it either way.  It was like a 4 year long flatline with no obvious cause.

I started to get so frustrated with not feeling any kind of libido whatsoever, I decided to do something about it.   Since porn wasn't even holding much interest I started looking for other reasons.  I'd even been seriously considering TRT injections. Then for some reason I decided to read YBOP again...

I'd realised that during this last 4 years I'd got seriously into politics, particularly watching Youtube, going on twitter and properly binging on it.  I'd become addicted to the emotional roller coaster of it, the shock value, the outrage, the polarization, the fear.  I would spend days on end watching videos, refreshing twitter feeds because i'd convinced myself I had nothing better to do.   It was like porn on steroids.  Even on porn I'd watch for an hour or 2 at most, but this was on another level.  I had no clue that the emotional content of this had managed to even blow porn out of the water. 

Reading YBOP again i substituted the word "porn" for "social media" and it suddenly made sense.  If libido is controlled largely by dopamine, does it matter what is depleting that dopamine and desensitizing receptors?  If porn could do that, clearly so could other content.

So I ditched it all this time.  Porn, youtube, social media, news websites, TV, video games, Tinder the lot.  I rooted my phone and blocked practically everything that wasn't email.  Anything that was causing me to feel compelled to use it when i was bored, even innocuous things like IMDB, I cut it out.

The first week was tough, I felt really depressed, spent practically all weekend in bed. I kept wanting to get on twitter read the news headlines, see what was happening in the world.  I mean its just the news right, surely a quick look is fine?  Or just watch a couple of YT videos to pass the time.  But I stuck with it.  Week 2 got better, and I started to to experience some of same things as when I did NoFap/NoPorn years ago. My anxiety was down, life just seemed brighter, conversations were easier.

Week 3 I decided to try M again.  I still didn't feel like I had a libido but thought I'd give it a go anyway.  Wow, what a difference.  I had this smooth buildup of sexual energy, like I hadn't felt for years.  I really didn't have to make much effort, everything just came to life naturally.  And the weird thing - I no longer had to use extreme fantasy, and more than that I didn't even want to, it felt ridiculous somehow. All I wanted to think about was vanilla sex, just really basic stuff, and yet it felt 10x more intense.  By week 4 I felt like girls noticing me more (or maybe I was noticing them?) - i think that's also a quote from the book but its so true.

And that's as far as I've got.  I still don't feel "normal", but my sex drive is way up on what its been for years.  I occasionally M and the experience is night and day from how its been for years.  My erections are a 9/10 rather than about a 2/10. I also just feel so much better in myself, more confident, less anxiety, more interest in life, even considering dating again.

So I guess the takeaway, and perhaps what I wanted to share this for, is for anybody who is struggling with recovery and flatline, consider cutting out everything that targets dopamine, not just porn.  I think its so tempting for people to give up porn, but then fill the void with some other dopamine addiction - video games, TV, youtube, internet, and that then stunts their recovery, or even makes it impossible to recover.
« Last Edit: July 14, 2020, 04:27:41 PM by jonnywishbone »

blueicetea10

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Re: Youtube vs Porn
« Reply #1 on: July 19, 2020, 05:35:39 PM »
Wow this was a really interesting read, thanks for sharing. I have thought about this and how the less I PMO sometimes I replace it will something else addictive and somewhat harmful like mindless scrolling etc. Would like to hear more updates about how this lifestyle works for you in the medium - long term.
Mastery is not an exalted state that lies at the end of the path; it is a state of mind the lies at the very beginning.
Mastery is in the act of setting foot on the path, not in reaching its end.