Author Topic: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 37)  (Read 1599 times)

AStansfield

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 13)
« Reply #25 on: July 19, 2020, 03:06:53 PM »
Completed: Day 33 No PMO / Day 13 No Fap


Uneventful day. It was a rest day from working out which personally are the most boring days because it doesn't feel like i'm making my fitness goals progress any further.

Urges/Fantasies again minimal. Libido in general is very low. Perhaps my relapse 13 days ago didn't impact me as deeply as I assumed. Won't know until I get around week 3.


Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!


Edit: Morning of Day 34
Second night in a row i've had a wet dream but with no emission. I didn't actually ejaculate in this dream -don't remember the night before. I think my mind is getting to that point where it is desperate for a release. I shall remain vigilant however!
« Last Edit: July 20, 2020, 12:28:26 AM by AStansfield »

AStansfield

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 14)
« Reply #26 on: July 21, 2020, 12:54:07 AM »
Completed: Day 34 No PMO / Day 14 No Fap


Finally on the 2nd page of my journal + 2 weeks since last relapse! Porn hasn't been on my mind at all - although sexually suggestive scenes on netflix make me feel sort of uncomfortable. Feels weird having to cover my eyes like a kid again ;D

My libido is absolutely zero though. Like I am filled with almost 0 if not 0 sexual energy at the moment. Even at the gym surrounded by tight yoga pants my thoughts never wander - I only ever focus on my lifts. I guess this is a good thing, but it just feels weird. It's like a permanent turbolimp. It's like a Whiskey Dick feeling but all the time. It's not bad or good, just an unusual feeling.

I hope it settles itself before mid-September when the new Semester begins.

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

AStansfield

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 14)
« Reply #27 on: July 21, 2020, 01:53:37 PM »
Completed: Day 35 No PMO / Day 15 No Fap


Libido is still zero. Resumed dong kegel exercises. Nothing much else to report. Tomorrow i'm hitting 100kg 5x5 for my squat and i'm excited!

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

Edit: Morning of Day 36
Had another wet dream - very very intense one. Didn't make too much of a mess however.

I'm worried because I had a wet dream not too long before my last relapse - so hopefully this isn't a sign of powerful urges returning.
« Last Edit: July 21, 2020, 11:09:33 PM by AStansfield »

AStansfield

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 16)
« Reply #28 on: July 23, 2020, 12:18:10 AM »
Completed: Day 36 No PMO / Day 16 No Fap


Hit 100kg 5x5 on Squat in the gym! I started going to the gym on the 29th of June and have worked my way up from 60kg 5x5. I'd like to attribute some of that success to the supposed testosterone increase from nofap. The weight feels lighter than it ever has before!

I tend to write these the morning after (so the Morning of Day 37) - had a strange dream where I was in Vienna attempting to buy a prostitute. It was very strange because there was nothing sexual going on, but I kept thinking "I'm going to break my PMO Streak damn it." The morning W was a welcome change of pace in this flatline though.

I'd like to think all these dreams are just a signal that the reboot is proceeding as it should.

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

AStansfield

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 17)
« Reply #29 on: July 23, 2020, 02:04:51 PM »
Completed: Day 37 No PMO / Day 17 No Fap

Slowly creeping up on my record for no fap (I relapsed on Day 18). The course so far has been entirely different - very little fantasies and zero libido. I assume this is because my last relapse (which had no porn involved) didn't set back my reboot as much I originally anticipated.

Not much else to report. Studying for my last exam. Working out 6 days a week like clockwork (3 Days of Lifting, 3 Days of Solid cardio). Right now i'm absolutely alone in my Uni city and it will be like that for the next 6-8 weeks. Hopefully I don't lose my mind too much.

It will be nice to come back at the beginning of the semester completely transformed and really wow all my friends and colleagues (especially all the haters  8)).

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

Edit: Morning of Day 38
Last night I started supplementing an additional 150mg of Magnesium and 10mg of Zinc right before bed. So far in total I supplement 25.5mg of Zinc throughout the day 385mg of Magnesium.

I mention this because I had the most intense and vivid wet dream last night. It was incredibly strange because it involved someone from my university i've had very little interaction with but we were both at my high school? Also I had Harry Potter magic and used it to summon a car.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Personally I don't mind the wet dreams. I think my mind has reached peak starvation but it will kick itself out soon enough. 24 hours from now I will have beaten my record for nofap!
« Last Edit: July 23, 2020, 11:32:19 PM by AStansfield »

AStansfield

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 18)
« Reply #30 on: July 24, 2020, 02:17:03 PM »
Completed: Day 38 No PMO / Day 18 No Fap

Reached my old nofap record safe and sound!

102kg 5x5 Squat in the gym was also good. I think i'll plateau somewhere between 110kg and 120kg at this current pace, sometime in August.

Libido is still low. That hasn't changed much. Since my last relapse i've barely even touched my member outside of restroom time.

Overall looking forward for the Day 30 milestone!

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

AStansfield

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 19)
« Reply #31 on: July 25, 2020, 01:04:02 PM »
Completed: Day 39 No PMO / Day 19 No Fap

Nothing to report. Nothing different from the last few days.


Well, that's all for this "report" - see you space cowboys!
« Last Edit: July 27, 2020, 12:50:58 AM by AStansfield »

AStansfield

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 20)
« Reply #32 on: July 26, 2020, 01:04:05 PM »
Completed: Day 40 No PMO / Day 20 No Fap


Started to get some racy thoughts today, but nothing major. Hopefully it doesn't get any worse than this.

I don't like Sundays very much because rest days just feel like i'm doing nothing. Tomorrow I'll be hitting the squat rack and making some GAINZ!

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

AStansfield

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 21)
« Reply #33 on: July 27, 2020, 01:41:28 PM »
Completed: Day 41 No PMO / Day 21 No Fap


104kg 5x5 Squat today. Starting to get difficult - still think i'll stall between 110kg and 120kg though.

Today is the last day of my 28 Creatine Cycle. Next 28 days i'm off - will have to see how it impacts my lifts.

I have an odd smell down there (even post shower/hygiene). I noticed it before the last time I went around 2 1/2 - 3 weeks without fapping. Last time when I relapsed I realized it was the actual ejaculate smelling awfully odd, and it was seemingly exiting straight out of my member. Quite strange.

Strange thing to note, but whatever.

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

Chris Oz

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 21)
« Reply #34 on: July 27, 2020, 05:44:06 PM »
Keep moving forward Stanfield. I read most of your jounal and it's quite interesting how far you've come. Your resolutions are tight.

AStansfield

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 22)
« Reply #35 on: July 28, 2020, 01:08:34 PM »
Completed: Day 42 No PMO / Day 22 No Fap


Passed my last exam today! 7 weeks of Summer Break here I come  8)

Going out to celebrate tomorrow - haven't let loose in a few weeks and I can't wait.

My run today was more difficult than usual - consistent 25 minute runs at my weight/body fat takes a lot out of me, but this was something else. I'd attribute it to a rather unhealthy meal the day before - gotta get good calories in! Good input = Good Output!

I took a nap today and while I was laying down my head began to wander towards the sexual fantasy side. The strangest thing though is like I had literally 0 thought about fapping. It's like even with the sexual fantasy my libido is still nonexistent.

I'm hoping my PIED symptoms will be resolved by day 180 of nofap. It's probably 90% of the reason i've stayed committed to this journey.

@Chiz Oz Thank you! I hope your journey is progressing as well - together to the top to enjoy in the bounties of our endeavours!

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

Chris Oz

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 22)
« Reply #36 on: July 28, 2020, 04:00:53 PM »
Congrats on your last exam Stansfield

AStansfield

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 23)
« Reply #37 on: July 29, 2020, 11:17:44 AM »
Completed: Day 43 No PMO / Day 23 No Fap


Writing this one a bit earlier in the day since i'm going out in the evening and will probably a bit too out of it to remember to write!

First off, @Chris Oz Thank you for your congrats!

106kg 5x5 Squat successful! It wasn't bad at all - basically identical to 104 in terms of exertion. I ate very clean yesterday and today - probably a contributing factor over last time.

I had a really random erection that lasted about 5 minutes during the day while I was watching a film (it was K19: The Widowmaker, so literally no sexual content whatsoever). I was focusing purely on the film as well.

Does anyone have experience with random erections while rebooting?

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

« Last Edit: July 31, 2020, 01:25:55 PM by AStansfield »

Chris Oz

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 22)
« Reply #38 on: July 29, 2020, 11:38:25 AM »
Yeah it happens a lot to me.... For no reason at all. It's just part of being a man I guess. It doesn't stay for like forever... Somos alright. I think it just shows that your hormones are still working right and sexually your healthy. Nothing to worry about.

AStansfield

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 24)
« Reply #39 on: July 30, 2020, 02:53:51 PM »
Completed: Day 44 No PMO / Day 24 No Fap


Less than a week to go before the 30 Day mark! It's quite exciting to be hitting the first real "checkpoint" in this journey - time really flew.

Outside my run today, which was very very good, I didn't get anything productive done. Honestly I'm probably going to need to start studying for the new semester soon (7 weeks in advance).

I'm just at that point in my life where i'm questioning what I do with my time. I have a lot of expectations of myself and I don't want to get stuck in a long term bad mood because I'm not making big gains.

I'm still haunted a bit by events that happened last summer, and for the first time since then it feels like i'm standing on my own two feet. I'm so terrified of falling back down again that any time I try to relax I feel like my mind is idle and I should be doing something productive.

Anyway, enough complaining.

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!
« Last Edit: July 31, 2020, 01:26:02 PM by AStansfield »

Chris Oz

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 23)
« Reply #40 on: July 30, 2020, 04:08:02 PM »
Take it easy man, don't let the pressure get to you. Just focus on the plans you've already set for your self, your life and trust everything will work out. And then have fun doing those little things. We only got one life to live!
Keep pushing back!
Chris

AStansfield

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 25)
« Reply #41 on: July 31, 2020, 11:48:36 AM »
Completed: Day 45 No PMO / Day 25 No Fap


@Chris Thanks for the encouragement  :D

108kg 5x5 Squat in the gym. I ate pretty bad today so I definitely felt the difference between 106 and 108. Still progressing though!

One of my favorite indie bands released a new album today, so I've just been jamming along.

Lately at night i've been going back to a mode of acceptance I haven't had since January 2019 - that is that I'm fine with being single. I just have the recurring thought that now and I feel like it's me finally returning to normal and not being overly concerned about my relationship status. Cultivating true inner peace, or something such.

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

« Last Edit: July 31, 2020, 01:26:10 PM by AStansfield »

AStansfield

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 26)
« Reply #42 on: August 01, 2020, 03:25:02 PM »
Completed: Day 46 No PMO / Day 26 No Fap


Boring day. Not much to report. I've been eating a strict ~1600 calorie diet the past 6 weeks and the pressure to order something nice and unhealthy is just maddening when there isn't any work to distract me.

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

AStansfield

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 27)
« Reply #43 on: August 02, 2020, 01:14:19 PM »
Completed: Day 47 No PMO / Day 27 No Fap


Almost at the first big nofap checkpoint!

Didn't do much all day - very lazy day, but I guess that's fine. It's okay to take some time for yourself.

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

AStansfield

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 28)
« Reply #44 on: August 03, 2020, 01:25:13 PM »
Completed: Day 48 No PMO / Day 28 No Fap

4 Weeks of NoFap! Hype!

110kg 5x5 Squat in the gym - felt really good. Feeling the plateau at 116-118 probably.

Weekly Sunday Weigh in = 104.4kg (started at 115kg at the end of May).

Everything is going very well - still have 7 weeks before the start of the next semester to shape up in all aspects!

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

AStansfield

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 29)
« Reply #45 on: August 04, 2020, 03:53:31 PM »
Completed: Day 49 No PMO / Day 29 No Fap

1 more day before the first checkpoint!

It rained all day, but my run was strangely more enjoyable.

Nothing else to report. I guess I'm feeling sort of sexually frustrated at this point but it bounces around from frustration to zero libido throughout the day. Strange.

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

Edit: Morning of Day 30


Strangest sequence of dreams i've had in a LONG time - including one where I was literally just MO'ing nonstop. I was in the dream thinking "F***, just before the 30 day mark!"

Then I woke up and realized it was all just some weird bs like that.
« Last Edit: August 05, 2020, 01:08:28 AM by AStansfield »

AStansfield

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 30)
« Reply #46 on: August 05, 2020, 02:22:39 PM »
Completed: Day 50 No PMO / Day 30 No Fap


THIRTY DAYS OF NO FAP! First checkpoint reached - next checkpoint is 90 days, and then 180, and then the full year.

Outside of this milestone - I also squated 112kg 5x5 in the gym.

I am feeling the libido slowly returning - hopefully this doesn't sharply increase the temptation to relapse.

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

Chris Oz

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 30)
« Reply #47 on: August 05, 2020, 03:50:31 PM »
Congrats man.. you've done great for yourself

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 30)
« Reply #48 on: August 06, 2020, 05:29:02 AM »
Hey Stan, I just caught up on your journey you're working through.  It sounds like you're really building yourself into the person you want to be, which I really respect quite a lot.  Keep it up, this is the hardest part.  The longer you go, the easier it'll get.  Keep killing it!

AStansfield

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Re: AStansfield's Reboot Journal (After Action Report Day 31)
« Reply #49 on: August 06, 2020, 02:14:51 PM »
Completed: Day 51 No PMO / Day 31 No Fap


Another day, another checkmark.

@wwalker19 and @Chris Oz Thanks to you both!

I'm thinking of re engaging the website blockers I normally have on during the Semester/Exam Period. With 7 weeks to go until the new semester, I feel if I don't force myself into getting ahead of the game i'll just start at 0 Day 1 - and I have big goals for the next 2 semesters and I can't afford not to take advantage of this situation.

More to the point - I think having so much free time and not doing anything productive (outside of Fitness/No Fap) is really degrading to my mental health. An idle mind is a poisoned mind, and right now my mind has just been mindlessly binging entertainment (Silicon Valley).

My friends are afraid of me burning out before the semester starts, and these next two semesters are the toughest in my med school career. I recognize their concerns, but if i'm to realize my dream of coming out on top academically I have to push myself to the edge and over it if need be.  If i'm not willing to risk it all for my dream then it's not a dream worth anything, in my humble opinion.