Author Topic: Rebooting trough self-parenting  (Read 4893 times)

SebNZ

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Re: Rebooting trough self-parenting
« Reply #175 on: October 13, 2020, 05:19:48 AM »
Day 25

Wars don't work. War on Addiction. Fight the enemy. Doesn't work.

What works is acceptance, understanding, forgiving and letting go.

100% agree with this.

I used to treat porn as a battle or a war. I thought sex would be a 'nuclear bomb' against porn addiction. Unfortunately it doesn't really work that way and the military metaphor doesn't really help.

As I start to understand and accept that porn was filling a void in my life, it becomes a bit easier to deal with. It's almost like if you treat it like an enemy, it becomes undefeatable. But if you treat it like a part of you that needs understanding and acceptance, then it unravels and becomes something you can let go of as you say.

Orbiter

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Re: Rebooting trough self-parenting
« Reply #176 on: October 14, 2020, 05:17:06 AM »
Day 25

Wars don't work. War on Addiction. Fight the enemy. Doesn't work.

What works is acceptance, understanding, forgiving and letting go.

100% agree with this.

I used to treat porn as a battle or a war. I thought sex would be a 'nuclear bomb' against porn addiction. Unfortunately it doesn't really work that way and the military metaphor doesn't really help.

As I start to understand and accept that porn was filling a void in my life, it becomes a bit easier to deal with. It's almost like if you treat it like an enemy, it becomes undefeatable. But if you treat it like a part of you that needs understanding and acceptance, then it unravels and becomes something you can let go of as you say.

Just wanted to say this really resonated with me. Very well put!

EarthWalker

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Re: Rebooting trough self-parenting
« Reply #177 on: October 15, 2020, 11:42:40 AM »
Thanks guys.

Day 28 (No P and no PMO).

Last week I ordered a bunch of sex toys. They arrived before yesterday. I had a go at it without any P. Oddly enough my spine feels more relaxed. Overall feeling less tension. I am like I will not fight this stuff. Addiction show me what you got.

Like I PMOed for 5 days straight before starting this reboot on 17.9. I still remember my last PMO pretty detailed and I am totally fine with it being my last PMO. I don't need to PMO anymore. Also in my view. I see PMO as this connecting with the AI. Some sort of virtual reality linkup. Yuck!

I am doing something similar with FMO. OK. Show me what you got. If I am never again to MO to fantasy (this includes PIV) I want to be OK with this. This is life changing stuff. I need to know I am not missing out anything. I also want to know the essence of it. If this is my last FMO would I be ok with this?

This P mind control is starting to come apart by the seams. Soon I will be ready to just let go of FMO as well. Then a nice noFap streak. Then I'll go with some nice sensation only M or MO once in a while.

So far it looks like my plan is working. This phase I intend to deal with the fantasizing and MOing to fantasy. Fantasizing is not normal. Sure there is this day dreaming suff etc. But There is a big difference if it is coming from lack consciousness or abundance consciousness.

Anyway. Looking forward to next week. I don't feel like setting up a date for my last FMO. But it will be before the System phase.

Wish everyone a good day
EW
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EarthWalker

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Re: Rebooting trough self-parenting
« Reply #178 on: October 16, 2020, 03:20:44 AM »
Day 29.

Maybe I should have been less explicit. Anyway.

I have 14.10 written on the wall. Is this it? My last FMO? Will see after the weekend.

Saying I am free to MO as I see fit. Without the you must not MO directive. The pressure just isn't there. I don't feel like MOing.

One thing I am noticing is that the emotional charge behind P thoughts is diminishing. Some P thoughts came in the morning. But the emotional charge and urgency to act just isn't there the way it used to be. It is substantially muted down. I don't feel like indulging in the thoughts.

In my view P addiction has 2 parts:

1) Coping mechanism. Unsurprisingly most of us started with this addiction in childhood. Perhaps if our bio parents and society did a whole lot better job we wouldn't need to use P. But I can view this as a self-mastery exercise. We get to do a better job than our bio parents and the society. A bit of a tall order. But when life gives you lemons you can either be miserable or start making lemonade.
2) Mind control and black magic. There is a reason why everything is so sexed up and limitless amounts of P are available online. There are quite substantial negative forces in both the physical and meta physical that want us to remain slaves. P is intricately designed to siphon our creative force outside ourselves.

Wish everyone a good day
EW
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imsorrynotsorry

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Re: Rebooting trough self-parenting
« Reply #179 on: October 16, 2020, 01:47:46 PM »
Hey EarthWalker,

congrats on your journey, exceptional self reflecting behavior. Your progress is the fruit of your work.

Keep on going, it's worth it.

EarthWalker

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Re: Rebooting trough self-parenting
« Reply #180 on: October 17, 2020, 02:57:12 AM »
Thanks, imsor.

Day 30.

Business as usual. Maybe 14.10 will be it. My last FMO. P thoughts don't have that emotional charge behind them anymore. Maybe I'll FMO still later in the phase. Not sure.

Phase 5 The System beings at day 55. So I have around 25 days to play around if I want to. But not feeling it.

EW
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EarthWalker

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Re: Rebooting trough self-parenting
« Reply #181 on: October 17, 2020, 04:49:34 AM »
Temptation to watch P is picking up.

One P scene from the early days of P watching is nagging me now for a few days.

I will not watch P. I might end up MOing to it. But I don't really feel like it.

14.10? Maybe? Maybe not. Will see.

EW
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EarthWalker

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Re: Rebooting trough self-parenting
« Reply #182 on: October 17, 2020, 11:51:00 AM »
I will tentatively call what I am doing soft-relapse reboot.

First I've removed external P from my life. I consider probablity of me using P again to be close to 0%.

Next up. I need to remove internal P as well. I ended up MOing to P fantasy. It was maybe 50% the intensity of the last MO to P fantasy. I'll call this soft-relapse. For the lack of a better word.

Maybe a few more weekends then I'll cut this out. It is starting to annoy me.

EW

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EarthWalker

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Re: Rebooting trough self-parenting
« Reply #183 on: October 18, 2020, 02:05:11 AM »
Day 31 (no external P).

17.10 that sounds about right. Maybe I am ready now...

17.9 the day I quit external P.
17.10 the day I quit internal P.

I think I can do it now. I'll still allow for MO. But now moving forward. Allow only for PIV vanilla fantasy. Ok. Sounds about right. Don't feel like MOing. Looking forward to next weekend.

edit: PIV fantasy is still somewhat P-ish. Not ideal. But a stepping stone. As the energy is still outside the body. Next up I'll allow for MO to sensation only (be in the body) and then just go with M without O (the focus and energy stays in the body). Looks like a good and doable plan.

EW
« Last Edit: October 18, 2020, 02:07:36 AM by EarthWalker »
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EarthWalker

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Re: Rebooting trough self-parenting
« Reply #184 on: October 19, 2020, 03:02:31 AM »
Day 32.

This is it. 17.10. The day I quit internal P. P fantasy. I had enough of it. No more giving energy to P thoughts. If P thought comes up. I'll say no thank you.

3 more weekends until the systems phase. I'll allow for MO to vanilla PIV fantasy only now. PIV is still problematic as the energy goes outside my body. Don't really feel like MOing. So I'll avoid MOing for now.

I'll go on nofap streak for the whole of The System phase. The proverbial 90 days of hard mode. This will start on 11.11.

I'll get to prove my theory then. But it looks like a very good plan with a high probability of success. Get my affairs in order before going on hard mode 90 days.

Looking forward to it.

One more psychology trick. When I passed a group of very attractive girls. I just asked myself. If I lived in a world where everyone is attractive would I had lustful thoughts? Guess not. Moving on.

Wish everyone a good week
EW

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Sanders

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Re: Rebooting trough self-parenting
« Reply #185 on: October 19, 2020, 07:14:40 AM »
Hi EarthWalker,

Your approach is really interesting, I'm happy to read that it brings you certainty and has kept you away from PMO for over a month already. I have nothing really to add, it's just good to see you're on this path that you've carefully built and it's working for you.

Good luck in getting to the next phase, I trust that you'll get there!

EarthWalker

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Re: Rebooting trough self-parenting
« Reply #186 on: Today at 01:31:58 AM »
Thank you Sanders. Appreciate it. Very happy to read you are doing well.

Day 33.

Weird P dream. Also some P thoughts came up in the morning. I just shut them down. Enough BS. My mind = my rules.

I expect the addiction to make a substantial attempt before day 40. There is nothing P thoughts can give me now.

Looks like this is really it. A bit in disbelief.

Wish everyone a good day.
EW
http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=18519.0
https://www.patreon.com/gabedeem/

“It's a luxury to pursue what makes you happy; it's a moral obligation to pursue what you find meaningful.”
Reboot Timeline Workbook | https://docdro.id/pB7oOsI (A4) | https://docdro.id/upFn48Z (US)