Author Topic: 19 Years of Slavery : fapping since I was 6 years old  (Read 275 times)

Ethan

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 5
    • View Profile
19 Years of Slavery : fapping since I was 6 years old
« on: June 13, 2020, 01:36:06 PM »
Sorry for poor English. It's my first post here. As far as I can recall, I had started masturbating since I was 6 years old i.e. from year 2001and my present age is 25 years, and as a result all my childhood, I have been
Feeling as a zombie !! I have no interests of my own, I have no choices of my own , I have no likes dislikes of my own, basically I do not have an opinion of my own for almost all the things of my life. I have never masturbated to any porn . I  have always masturbated to pictures of actresses or movies' scenes. Bcoz of this I have always felt socially challenged and I have never felt the day to day emotions of my life. I was reasonably good in studies but what I observed during these years is that I have a constant brain fog and I am fairly poor and mentally challenged in day to day activities of my life. I also observed that whenever I was alone I always felt sad, gloomy and exhausted. I observed that as if my brain was saying a big NO to everything whatever I tried to do when I was alone. This further led me to fap whenever I was alone . And soon I was fapping whenever I was alone and I used to EDGE myself i.e. my sessions were always 2-3 hours but I only masturbated 3-4 times out of 10 times. I think that this edging has further imbalanced my brain to a great extent. But I noticed that whenever I was around my friends I used to live my life to its fullest i.e. as if my brain had come to life and I felt all emotions happiness , sadness, adventure but as soon as I returned to my home and in my me time , I again becomes a zombie. No matter how hard I try to develop new interests or hobbies but I was unable to . Also I grew up abnormally. At age of 13 I suffered from severe hormonal imbalance , my weight was suddenly reduced , I had gained height all of a sudden but the most frightening thing was that I developed severe acne on my forehead , and side of my cheeks . They were so dense and large in number that I was unable to see my real skin over that parts. Also I suffered from hairloss at the same time. And since then I have always been skinny and underweight and no matter how much I eat I remain skinny. I have started rebooting since last year i.e. 2019 with frequent relapses. I have gained control over my urges to a great extent compared to my situation last year. But since I have started rebooting I have been experiencing severe hair thinning ,depression, brain fog, poor concentration, almost like a zombie. It's the worst depression I have ever felt . It feels as if I would never be able to repair my brain. Please help me
« Last Edit: June 13, 2020, 01:42:40 PM by Ethan »

Anti-porn FR

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 42
  • Personal Text
    DO IT !
    • View Profile
Re: 19 Years of Slavery : fapping since I was 6 years old
« Reply #1 on: June 17, 2020, 04:44:44 PM »
I think you are not in the right place on the forum to express yourself on your addiction to porn. I suggest that you copy the text you wrote in the "porn addiction" section to obtain more suitable responses and in greater numbers.

But in what you just said, you must first put your addiction into perspective and not give up hope. You have already taken a huge step in admitting that you were addicted to PMO (porn, masturbation, orgasm). Many people have not yet taken this step!

Being a beginner in the field of porn addiction, I do not want to venture into explanations that I do not master. This is why I advise you to change the section to get answers from more knowledgeable people on the subject. May God give you the courage to overcome this obstacle but above all DO NOT DISCOURAGE YOU !!

DON'T GIVE UP