Author Topic: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery  (Read 17334 times)

ShadeTrenicin

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 557
    • View Profile
    • My topic
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #200 on: June 24, 2020, 01:49:48 AM »
Hey Guys,

@UKguy, i don't really know where the low self esteem / self love are coming from. It's that I've been feeling not myself recently and out of contact with myself. I feel like i am slipping into some old behaviours and they are not the ones that are good for my general and mental health.. In general when i feel good about myself, i tend to do less things that are bad for me.

Thanks Imsorry for the positivity. It is much appreciated and helpful, it really is!

Hey Mr.Slurps, i'm really sorry to hear about your brother. I will comment more in your own topic.
The lesson learned from this, about savouring life because you never know what will happen is a powerful one. Thanks for sharing my friend.

Hey KittyHawk, sucks right? The sleeping issues. Thanks for the advice, it's solid and very applicable.



So, it's still the same for me. Yesterday was a great day, it was the wife's birthday and we celebrated a little. She really felt that it was her birthday despite the corona restrictions and health problems. So that's a pretty positive thing! Other than that I am doing ok-ish i guess but the bouts of fatigue have worsened. Last night my wife couldn't sleep and she said that I am much more restless in bed while sleeping and that my breathing is much more shallow. And that coincides with how i feel because i am dead tired, like I've been sleeping less than 4 hours a night for the past week.

As you all have pointed out, the only thing for me to do right now is accepting that this is the situation and that it is finite. And that realization is pretty nice. But the sleep deprivation is really laying it on me hard. I think i should make a routine of some sort so that i have to think less and conserve my mental energy somehow.


That's it for now, today is day #6
Mood = ok-ish
Urge mentally = still present due to lack of defences
Urge physically is there but not so much
Other urges = to sleep lol


Thanks for reading guys, stay safe
--------
Love yourself; allow your emotions, understand your emotions and make love for yourself your number one priority

http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=17919.0

Joel

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 223
    • View Profile
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #201 on: June 24, 2020, 05:39:44 AM »
Hey man, sounds tough. Well done for keeping onward. Yep, acceptance and patiently waiting for discomfort to pass seem to be the way!

Orbiter

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ****

  • 329
    • View Profile
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #202 on: June 25, 2020, 05:04:36 AM »
 “In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.”

― Albert Camus

I feel one of the most comforting aspects of the finite nature of all things is that all our problems come to pass if we persist. These are tough times at the moment as believe me, as a front-line worker, I feel the pain of work stress along with the isolation and craziness of these times. I can imagine your recent health troubles are also weighing on you strong. Still you are bouncing back again, almost over the chaser and coming back to where you were.

Roll with the punches & stay strong Shade, you will prevail.

ShadeTrenicin

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 557
    • View Profile
    • My topic
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #203 on: June 26, 2020, 02:37:06 AM »
Thanks for the support Joel!

Beautiful quote Orbiter, thanks for sharing that.

And you are both right; acceptance, patience and persistence through difficult times are what helps us through this difficult time.

This morning I had a small success. I woke up, somewhat fatigued, went down and in a brief moment was like.. "I could go on that site.."
But then it struck me: "Nope can't do that, because it's blocked and you did that for a reason, you will feel empty. Best go to the forum instead"
And I did! So yeah for building defenses. This was a subtle 6PP in action.

Today is day #7 and I still am not feeling 100%.
I went to work yesterday because i finally had a good quality sleep. But after about 5 hours, immense fatigue set in again. So I went home (where we have air conditioning in the living room  8) )
And continued to work from there (as i am also right now).

So lately I've been ranting about my work and I can say with some relieve that at least one of the people that do not match the company will be fired. And another 3rd one was being prevented from being fired by my supervisor. However, I can't share it with the rest of the company yet because my supervisor told me this in confidence. But for now i am somewhat relieved.

All in all on the reboot department i am feeling somewhat in the middle. I do have strong tendencies / cravings. Like an automated mechanism to jump to PMO. I have no idea why it is so tough right now. It feels like i stopped in the peak of my addiction (which was actually several years ago) i have really old cravings somehow. I'm very certain this has to do with my poor defences right now. Physical cravings are very volatile.. Due to the hot weather my wife walks around not wearing much, and it's very tempting to say the least. But i am able to manage the physical cravings way better than the mental ones. Normally I could accept that during times of high physical cravings a normal fantasy based MO could be justified for the sake of release, but in these times of mental fatigue i feel like i'll create a strong chaser effect that would be very hard for me to resist in my current state. So i will keep holding on to the hard mode for now.



That's it for now. Take care my friends.. I am rooting for all of you


--------
Love yourself; allow your emotions, understand your emotions and make love for yourself your number one priority

http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=17919.0

Icandoit

  • Guest
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #204 on: June 26, 2020, 04:27:32 AM »
“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.”

― Albert Camus

I feel one of the most comforting aspects of the finite nature of all things is that all our problems come to pass if we persist. These are tough times at the moment as believe me, as a front-line worker, I feel the pain of work stress along with the isolation and craziness of these times. I can imagine your recent health troubles are also weighing on you strong. Still you are bouncing back again, almost over the chaser and coming back to where you were.

Roll with the punches & stay strong Shade, you will prevail.

For sure. But we sometimes have this feeling that we won't get out of the difficult times because when it's hard, it really feels like it's hard. However, we have to remember times when it was hard and then it got better and then we will now it will be like that this time too.

UKGuy

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ****

  • 381
    • View Profile
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #205 on: June 26, 2020, 06:34:56 AM »
Well done on activating the 6PP Shade, and I am pleased you finally got a good sleep.

I can relate very strongly to what you speak about with regard to work and desiring outcomes. I am going to write about it separately in my own journal as its a feeling that is dominating my life at present.

Do you share with your wife that you find her walking around tempting? Is this a bad thing? Perhaps she would feel flattered and it may help your return to intimacy? Would that help or hinder the current situation (for you both as individuals and as a couple)? Just a thought.

Take care.

ShadeTrenicin

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 557
    • View Profile
    • My topic
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #206 on: June 26, 2020, 07:43:23 AM »
Hey UKGuy, Thanks for the thought.

The wife knows i find this tempting, but at the moment with all the corona stuff and warm weather there is no room for intimacy and i know of that. So she knows i find her extra attractive like this, but there is a sort of understanding that at this moment i will not comment on it (in the past I over commented and acted on it so its also kind of a delicate issue) Also, at this time I will not ask here to dress more, since the heat actively hinders her breathing. So its a double edged sword so to speak. For now i will just enjoy the fact that my wife is very attractive and do that in silence. To protect myself i will try not to walk up the stairs while behind her..

The whole intimacy thing is still delicate and we've talked about it some the last days and we are both also kind of ready for a child. But, we do agree that once the corona illness has passed that we will slowly try to focus on the intimacy and not immediately try to conceive..I've written here before that we just sort of need a lucky break in that and that that is what will give us the boost in confidence.. But for now, the Mrs. has indicated that her libido = 0 at the moment (while normally  her libido is higher than mine (at least my porn addicted libido)).. but after corona she has indicated that we could slowly try again..In the meantime I will focus on ridding myself of the addiction because some of my behaviours toward here are still like when I was addicted. So I am hopeful that we will find each other again.

--------
Love yourself; allow your emotions, understand your emotions and make love for yourself your number one priority

http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=17919.0

imsorrynotsorry

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ****

  • 328
    • View Profile
    • My Journal
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #207 on: June 26, 2020, 03:39:46 PM »
Hello Shade,

Quote
i don't really know where the low self esteem / self love are coming from. It's that I've been feeling not myself recently and out of contact with myself. I feel like i am slipping into some old behaviours and they are not the ones that are good for my general and mental health.. In general when i feel good about myself, i tend to do less things that are bad for me.

You said it quite right and i want to think of the feeling of low self esteem / self love also something that is just there for a time. Handle it like we would handle urges. Accepting, but not believing them and they will go away by themselfes. After that do something that is helping you feeling good about yourself, like going to sleep early or whatever and avoid what is bad for you.

For all the other projects i wish you and your wife the best.

Sanders

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 182
    • View Profile
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #208 on: June 27, 2020, 02:26:48 PM »
Hey ShadeTrenicin,

I'd like to write something insightful but there's already been already so many great pieces of advice, self-reflection and whatnot in your journal. Therefore I'm just going to wish you all the best of luck :) You've come such a long way already and your journey has seen great and difficult times of course. I truly hope you can persist in overcoming this addiction. Not hope, I trust you will!

Good luck, keep on going!

UKGuy

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ****

  • 381
    • View Profile
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #209 on: June 29, 2020, 04:07:24 AM »
How are you Shade? Sending positive thoughts to NL and wishing you a good week.

ShadeTrenicin

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 557
    • View Profile
    • My topic
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #210 on: June 30, 2020, 03:00:22 AM »
Hey Guys, whatsup?

So I've been away for the weekend because we celebrated my wife's birthday over the weekend with good corona measures.. Was busy with a lot of it. But it was great!

Sad to report that i relapsed on Saturday afternoon while my wife was taking a nap. Also i didn't tell here this time because i didn't want to ruin her birthday. So up until now she still doesn't know. I will tell her this week, when the time is right. She is dealing with a lot at the moment with her recovering from covid. Also this morning i woke up at 5 and went downstairs played some games and almost relapsed again.. I stopped in the middle of it.. A belated 6PP.

So all in all, despite all that happening, I don't really feel bad somehow. I am thinking about why my defenses are so low at the moment and honestly, I still have no idea.
At the moment of me writing this I am home alone once more, but all the built up tension from this morning has not triggered me into continuing somehow. In fact, I'm feeling lucky that i didn't fully relapse and that has motivated me somewhat.

In the coming days I feel that I really need to dig into why i relapsed and almost once more. Somehow I feel less.. I want to say motivated but that is not what it is..
Anyway, i will let you guys know what I find because it's imperative that I do. The whole beating the addiction can me made or broken by this.

What might help in the coming period is that from the 6th of july im going back to the office full time again. No more working from home, that will help. Also this will help me keep busy and focussed so my mind has less time wandering off to things i dont want to think about.

The last thing I just wanted to say that it warms my heart that people send me messages on this thread and in PM for asking if I am ok. Thanks guys, it means a lot to me! Lately I have been struggling but this forum always kept me going!


Day 2




--------
Love yourself; allow your emotions, understand your emotions and make love for yourself your number one priority

http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=17919.0

UKGuy

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ****

  • 381
    • View Profile
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #211 on: June 30, 2020, 08:18:41 AM »
Hi Shade,
Really pleased you both had a good weekend and birthday celebrations.
I think it's good that you're not being too tough on yourself after Saturday. You have both been through a lot over the past weeks. On a more positive note, great news that the 6PP kicked in today!
I am wondering what were the games video games? If so, what were you looking for in the games at 5am? Is it about distraction and escapism or something else? I know from my own mind that playing games (I have a soft sport for Fortnite!) can sometimes wind me up more, but also can sometimes act as a bit of a release when the time is right. I've found that picking the right time is important. Sometimes I might prefer to meditate, exercise, read or just be still as I have learned that it's a better route for my mental health and stress/anxiety levels than running around an island trying to kill a load of kids! (and invariably losing).
My other question is, what are the pros and cons of telling your wife about Saturday? Do you have a promise to always disclose? How will this help you and her, and will it cause any issues for you and her. I don't have a view on what is right or wrong here, but thought it worth asking, especially given that you've moved on past that incident now with a good result this morning - might it be a good opportunity to leave a positive memory of a great weekend for her, or would she want to know?
Stay well and strong my friend!

ShadeTrenicin

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 557
    • View Profile
    • My topic
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #212 on: July 03, 2020, 03:54:14 AM »
Hey UkGuy,

You raise a valid point about the remembrance of her birthday weekend. Especially since she's going through a rough patch with the corona symptoms. It now has an official name; corona associated symptoms (CAS). She's being troubled with trouble sleeping and a lot of pain in her neck/shoulders/back. So she actually asked me not to relapse since she can't cope with grumpy me (I always get grumpy the first 2-3 days after a relapse).. So I've decided not to tell her about my latest relapse.

On a more positive note; being in the office full time has helped me a great deal. The days have flown by and I've almost not had any urges to PMO. As I've read somewhere else on this forum; the general attraction towards my wife and other fine specimen of women in the real world has increased a lot.. Especially in this hot weather it's sometimes hard not to look at certain women. Bloody hell! Shorts these days really do credit their name...

But i'll take it as a positive thing :)

Today is day 6 and im doing great! Had a lot of sleep the last couple of days. The situation at work is quieting down. Some of the 'right' people are being fired and things are looking better in terms of deals and orders.. At home things are also going great. As always the situation between me and my wife are great, we laugh a lot we cuddle a lot. And despite her having trouble sleeping and the pain, her situation is actually finally improving albeit slowly.

So overall Im doing well. In hindsight the uncertainty in combination with lack of sleep was a killer for me. I've also learned that in these times it is all the more needed for me to talk about my emotions because i've kept them inside and that lead me to out them in more negative and destructive ways (grumpyness and PMO).. So this is the lesson learned for the last couple of weeks.

Take care guys and thanks for reading
--------
Love yourself; allow your emotions, understand your emotions and make love for yourself your number one priority

http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=17919.0

Orbiter

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ****

  • 329
    • View Profile
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #213 on: July 04, 2020, 02:10:53 AM »
Sounds like a lot of good decisions have been made both with your wife, work and getting back into the right mindset to stay away from the PMO. The necessary focus of working in the office might be in someways beneficial as you will spend a good amount of the week away from all the environmental & situational triggers at home.

Lots of positives indeed, it's great to hear.

ShadeTrenicin

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 557
    • View Profile
    • My topic
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #214 on: July 04, 2020, 04:16:02 AM »
Thanks Orbiter!

Today is the start of day 7. Residual fatigue from that weird corona thingy. Had an excellent 8.5 hour sleep last night, but after making breakfast and the grocerie shopping list i am completely drained somehow. However, it luckily is physical fatigue. Mentally I feel fine.. Had a mild urge to MO in the shower.. And although I do not see the harm in a quick MO in the shower, these days i do fear the chaser effect.. So i will refrain from that for the coming time...

Overall I'm feeling positive about the coming weekend and to spend it with the wife.. Trying to make a nice situation while still at home, so we are going to make dumplings ourselves and i might make some fresh pasta while we enjoy a nice glass of wine. Just us having fun in the kitchen..

On the part of my emotions, yesterday was both a good, weird and bad day.. I was overall feeling good. And at noon we had a video call with our psychologist.. The talk was fine (as it always is) but the last 15 minutes this immense lack of nourishment feeling struck me and it had left me with a continuous feeling of under nourishment throughout the day (in hindsight this is also some residual corona symptom).. But due to that feeling my mood worsened at first towards grumpyness and then it switched to just being emotional (which is positive for me) and that has led me to face my own feelings some more.. Also in the talk with the psychologist we came to the conclusion that i must pick up my 3 mindfulness moments again.. I have no idea why i stopped doing them, because they are a great help to me!


Anyway, that's it for today! I hope you are all safe, sound and porn free!
--------
Love yourself; allow your emotions, understand your emotions and make love for yourself your number one priority

http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=17919.0

Orbiter

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ****

  • 329
    • View Profile
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #215 on: July 04, 2020, 09:33:53 PM »
Hi Shade,

Good job avoiding the chaser effect. One MO is not the end of the world but on day 7 might be a bit early for it. I don't know about but I have found MO often does very little in easing urges and at worst makes them worse. Good to hear you've still been able to make some quality time with Mrs Shade despite your recent physical & emotional periods of exhaustion.

What was the three mindfulness moments about again? You've probably explained them in your journal before but I can't remember.

You're going strong again Shade, keep it up!

Joel

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 223
    • View Profile
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #216 on: July 05, 2020, 02:32:50 PM »
Sounds tough, Shade. Good work keeping it together; and glad you have something you can pick up again that sounds like it works. Wishing you a soonish recovery!

ShadeTrenicin

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 557
    • View Profile
    • My topic
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #217 on: July 06, 2020, 01:25:26 AM »
Thank you Joel.

And thank you Orbiter. About the three mindfulness moments, i don't think I've mentioned it on here specifically. But in general it is to be more aware of my own feelings/emotions/physical tensions so that i can better address them. This also really helps in finding the underlying reasons for PMO.

So today is the start of day#9.
And until now on the urge front, both physical and mental, I'm doing quite well. Emotionally it's still a roller coaster for me. Yesterday i came to a realization and following that realization, I've drawn lesson from something that UKGuy has mentioned. Specifically on where to build that wall of resistance. Until this day i do sometimes make the mistake of looking up an actress if I am watching a movie/series and I find her attractive. This causes the mind to go wild. And this is something that for me can be a prelude to a relapse a couple of days later. So this is something that i need to kick out of my system.




« Last Edit: July 06, 2020, 02:48:48 AM by ShadeTrenicin »
--------
Love yourself; allow your emotions, understand your emotions and make love for yourself your number one priority

http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=17919.0

Icandoit

  • Guest
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #218 on: July 06, 2020, 04:08:22 AM »
Until this day i do sometimes make the mistake of looking up an actress if I am watching a movie/series and I find her attractive. This causes the mind to go wild. And this is something that for me can be a prelude to a relapse a couple of days later. So this is something that i need to kick out of my system.

Definitely. When I do stuff like that, the pictures remain in my memory and torment me for days. It's enough when this happens after I see something by mistake, I must not do it intentionally too. There is no "a little bit" or anything "safe" with this addiction. The only way to do it is how William used to say, starve the addicted brain completely. Avoid the stimulation. I know sometimes it's easier said than done, especially when it comes to thoughts and flashbacks but we must make an effort to distract ourselves from those too.

Orbiter

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ****

  • 329
    • View Profile
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #219 on: July 06, 2020, 07:25:07 AM »
I still struggle with thoughts and flashbacks myself. My strategies to manage them revolve mostly around avoiding them to begin with. It's hard to stop the slide once triggered but the less we PMO, the easier it gets.

As Icandoit said, starve the addiction. Keep up the good work!

UKGuy

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ****

  • 381
    • View Profile
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #220 on: July 06, 2020, 08:59:27 AM »
Don't be too hard on yourself Shade. Whilst aspects of our past behaviour are unhealthy, I think we must remember that we are human, male and in your case thirty something (and therefore sexually charged). I can tell you with 100% certainty that I would not have been able to avoid masturbation (even if just quick, get it over with for the release) if I wasn't having regular sex with my wife. It can act as a natural release and it may (I think it varies from individual to individual) be more appropriate to allow some release rather then withhold, withhold withhold, and then major relapse. I guess the issue is if it extends beyond a release every week or so into a more frequent habit, or if what we are feeling and thinking when we do it starts to engage different parts of our brain that we don't particularly want to engage (e.g: fantasy). Maybe there's a thing called mindful wanking? (or if not, it sounds like a great self help book title!) All joking aside, take care and be kind to yourself.

So day 38 no porn.. Day 0 no fap..

I had a wet dream last night... and this morning while I was home alone for a brief moment, I flapped again.. No porn just fantasy.... But fuck, why is it so difficult to control myself... You say that you don't want it, but your mind plays tricks on you..
I'm actually kinda bummed out by this...

Sanders

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 182
    • View Profile
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #221 on: July 06, 2020, 10:48:10 AM »
Hey,

I'm going to side with UKGuy here, mindful wanking seems like a good excersice. I've read that you and your wife aren't intimate because of a wide variety of circumstances, is she however okay with you masturbating while with her? I had a talk with my wife about it and she actually preferred if I did that while she was aware of it and with me, rather than me in the shower or hiding from her.  I noticed that for me it helped when I did MO, it was in a time of feeling neutral. I didn't want to cheer myself up for being sad, or reward myself for doing something good. When the day was alright and I felt good, just a relaxing release.

The chaser effect you've mentioned makes it more difficult. Does that happen after each MO, or does it happen when there are certain circumstances involved? Anyways, best of luck! Rooting for you :)

UKGuy

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ****

  • 381
    • View Profile
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #222 on: July 07, 2020, 02:43:50 AM »
I had a talk with my wife about it and she actually preferred if I did that while she was aware of it and with me, rather than me in the shower or hiding from her. 
This is a really interesting point Sanders. It might not be for everyone, but one of the big benefits I see in it is that it eradicates the dishonesty and duplicity of scurrying away somewhere when the chance presents itself to indulge alone (whether PMO or just MO. Given that that type of behaviour is likely to drive shame, which in turn drives us back to PMO, it could be a really helpful tool for some. Cheers.

EarthWalker

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ****

  • 268
    • View Profile
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #223 on: July 07, 2020, 03:46:06 AM »
I think there are some good points here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abiG_eBwSjA

Why do we do it and what effect does something have?

My view is that with P there are only negatives with one exception. The only positive thing about P is that it pushes us to level up quite a lot in all areas of our life.

With MO I see it as a mixed bag. It is not all bad and it is not all good. Here I think why do we do it and what effects does it have come into play.

I remember sometimes after MO I feel more alive, have more energy and want to do stuff. Each time I am bewildered. WTF. Why do I feel better and have more energy after a MO? What sorcery is this? Other times (most times) after MO I just feel lethargic and more depressed. Clearly there is more to MO.

I think there are 2 different scenarios:

1) The sexual energy builds overtime like water in the dam. We have an overflow situation. With MO the overflow energy is released. Water level returns back to optilmal levels. Feel better.
2) The sexual energy is stolen. Water in the dam might or might not be high. But it is syphoned off. With MO that energy (that we need) is syphoned. We feel worse, less energy.

My theory is also that:

Women have smaller dam and more water flows naturally, so there is not as much of pent up sexual energy to deal with than in the male body. Genetics play a role as well of how large/problematic the dam is.

I also believe with "inner work" our dam can get smaller and more water will flow naturally.

Best wishes to everyone.
EW
http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=18519.0
https://www.patreon.com/gabedeem/

“It's a luxury to pursue what makes you happy; it's a moral obligation to pursue what you find meaningful.”
Reboot Timeline Workbook | https://docdro.id/pB7oOsI (A4) | https://docdro.id/upFn48Z (US)

Orbiter

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ****

  • 329
    • View Profile
Re: I've finally stopped. Now to hold on. My story to recovery
« Reply #224 on: July 09, 2020, 10:26:21 PM »
Noticed it's been awhile by your (admittedly high) standards since you last posted. Everything going ok I hope?

Looking forward to an update soon.