Author Topic: Hope I can look back on this journal one day with no more PIED  (Read 1521 times)

ArthurMorgan

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Re: Hope I can look back on this journal one day with no more PIED
« Reply #25 on: December 03, 2019, 09:00:06 PM »
Thanks Jixu and Sean K. So im back 105 days into my maybe fourth attempt. This time I've been going hard mode. No M at all, obviously no P. Haven't broken (so far)

Along the way, i took some notes when anything significant happened down there. Here's what i noted:

- Day 22 - had sexual dream 30% E when woke

- Day 38 - random 25% Strength E in day

- Day 40 - random 25% E on night shift 5am

- Day 44 - A woman who i was speaking to, sent me an unexpected picture, nothing sexual in the picture, it was actually a close up of the top of her shoulder lol as she was in the bath (nothing else in the picture at all).

But for some reason it aroused me on the spot a lot, the most so far 35% E

- Day 86 - First wet dream. Was only small amount

- Day 101 - Wet dream. Large amount.

So from day 44 besides the wet dreams its been pretty flat lined. Seen the doctor a year ago and as recently as two days ago for other things, no issues.

I consumed a large amount of P and I'm paying for it. My situation has changed too me and my wife are seperared so the opportunity to test things has all but gone.

I'm speaking to someone but anything sexual with her seems a long way off, if at all. I don't crave P either. Think about it some times but I've come this far - whats the point starting over (again) now.

My issue before was wanting to test if i was working as it had been so long. I tested with P and then got stuck in a binge for a few weeks, but I'm back into the swing of things now.

Have a feeling my case is one of the 250+ days ones. If I'm even fixable. Right now i am in full flatline, have almost zero urges for intercourse.

Appreciate the female form, and enjoy a flirt now and then but I'm just kind of cracking on with life at the moment.

Best of luck brothers, hang in there. Happy to answer questions etc otherwise will check back in if anything ever happens again down there.

Good luck!
« Last Edit: December 03, 2019, 09:02:05 PM by ArthurMorgan »

jixu

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Re: Hope I can look back on this journal one day with no more PIED
« Reply #26 on: December 06, 2019, 07:07:48 AM »
Hi Art-good to hear from you.  Sorry to hear about the marital separation but I hope you can keep your streak going as you go forward.  Take care!

Sean K.

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Re: Hope I can look back on this journal one day with no more PIED
« Reply #27 on: December 07, 2019, 02:19:54 PM »
Sorry to hear about the separation, buddy.

Glad I read your story....I was seriously thinking of breaking my porn free streak of not even a month, but your words have motivated me to stick it out.

Going to see an endocrinologist at the end of the month to get blood work done.  I think I may also have an organic problem in addition to the porn.....but not sure.

Keep your chin up.  Sending good thoughts your way.

ArthurMorgan

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Re: Hope I can look back on this journal one day with no more PIED
« Reply #28 on: December 08, 2019, 10:40:26 PM »
Thank you Jixu and Sean K. We have been separated for so long but living in the same house that making it official didn't even really hurt. Will sort out the logistics after Christmas with all that, but thank you for the kind words.

Sean hang in there, when you get to a certain point (for me - a heavy P user) you don't actually crave it - it almost feels like the mind "switches off" if that make sense. Although everyone is different. Good luck!

Physically I can get E's, it's just only through watching P or the very rare spontaneous ones. Never full strength but would be at least a start for Penetration.

I've just really messed up my wiring by watching so much P from the age of like 14? Until what, 39? Lol that's going to mess anyone up. I would not be surprised if I'm not actually repairable.

I don't think it's organic because I can get E to porn - although never full strength. Maybe it is. I'm going to see where things are at in 150 - 200 days.

Keep going brothers, good luck. Stay busy.

Sean K.

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Re: Hope I can look back on this journal one day with no more PIED
« Reply #29 on: December 11, 2019, 01:24:28 PM »
We need a "like" button. 

I'm in agreement with your post.....hard to say if it's all just in your head or if there's also an organic component.  To me, not being able to get fully hard to porn could be either SEVERE PIED or it could be that our age is having an effect.

ArthurMorgan

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Re: Hope I can look back on this journal one day with no more PIED
« Reply #30 on: December 14, 2019, 06:25:57 AM »
Yes, and then it gets to being so long 116 days as I write this, with no life down there that you think. "Wait, am I still working?"

I got concerned like this last time at the 140 day point (although i wasn't rebooting in hard mode) watched P and while not 100% it was working.

I suspect it's a dangerous combination of age and just severe PIED and P consumption. I've kind of made peace with it, as tragic as that sounds. It may actually never work again. It's been so long since I've had intercourse I can't even remember what it's like really if I'm being honest.

Had a rare urge for P today - but resisted. Am speaking to someone who could be a potential if / when that time ever comes. I'm just going to be straight up and honest with her.... "This probably ain't gonna work" type of thing. Embarrassing but, meh...what can you do.

I can't even fathom any other way approaching that situation. We shall see. Hope you are hanging in there too.

Sean K.

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Re: Hope I can look back on this journal one day with no more PIED
« Reply #31 on: December 14, 2019, 01:22:25 PM »
I hear you there.   The not knowing if the plumbing is working at all is why I've been masturbating to just past sexual experiences or thoughts/scenarios that don't include porn to make sure everything is at least working.

My problem is I don't really have the time to dedicate to 'experimenting'.  Seems I'm exhausted during the week....not sure once on the weekend is enough to really retrain/rewire my brain either.

Sean K.

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Re: Hope I can look back on this journal one day with no more PIED
« Reply #32 on: December 14, 2019, 01:23:39 PM »
Oh, and I agree....being upfront with a potential partner is probably for the best.  If they bail based on that....it wouldn't have worked anyway.

ArthurMorgan

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Re: Hope I can look back on this journal one day with no more PIED
« Reply #33 on: December 29, 2019, 03:50:25 PM »
I promised regardless of how embarrassing it may be, I would update this if any significant changes or interesting situations happened down below. Well, I separated from my wife earlier this year. So a friend who I am close with - who I have told in the past about my PIED...we are very close lol. I spent a few days over at hers over Christmas.

She drank a little, I didn't, I also never brought any Viagra because what happened next wasn't planned at all. We ended up in her bed. Kissing and she used oil and M me. I got...I would estimate maybe 35% hard. Then ten or so minutes after lost all life down there. Last time before this was four or so months ago with my wife. Same situation same thing happened.

Felt zero embarrassment because she knew of it, and we are friends, very close - this wasn't planned but could see it coming if you get me. No pun intended. The fact I had no pressure should have helped I would have thought... :(

I'm 131 (Hard mode) days in now, I did O with my friend, but it was her who did that to me via M. In all honesty, it feels like there's no progress..this video below is the only thing keeping me going lol. "PIED Cured after 265 days - Noah Church" - https://youtu.be/rEufZQx_5Y4

Unlike other guys me and my wife never had sex for years - so i can barely remember what it's like, so I have no massive urge. I could honestly live the rest of my life without it and be happy. However I do miss the touch, and love and warmth of a woman, so having a working knob would be great.

The journey continues. After 300 days (if i get there) - I may have to just accept my fate lol

Be well good brothers, good luck. I'm rooting for you all.
« Last Edit: December 29, 2019, 03:52:24 PM by ArthurMorgan »

Sean K.

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Re: Hope I can look back on this journal one day with no more PIED
« Reply #34 on: January 01, 2020, 10:11:14 AM »
Hang in there....you're basically half way there.   Don't quit now....you're too far in.

Also, go get a blood panel done.  I just found out my testosterone level was well below the minimum and there are other circulatory issues that will need to be addressed.  So don't rule out organic problems at our age.....they can be contributing.