Author Topic: I'm going to get it together  (Read 3687 times)

SeanKirk91

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I'm going to get it together
« on: April 01, 2014, 05:54:24 PM »
This is a journal that I've opened not just because I realize that I have a problem, but because that problem has damn near ruined my life. I'm failing as a college student, I have hurt my girlfriend (who is the love of my life) to no end, and I feel weak, almost like I'm half a man. I want it all to stop, and after much research and delving into archives of information and literature and looking over many people's different blogs, Ive realized that a much needed reboot is in order. I've been trying at this since December of last year, and doing so was so easy at first. I didn't really even want to masturbate during that time. However, about the time I arrived back to school (I'm an active college student) and returning to my apartment, it's like everything fell apart and this became one of the hardest aspects of my life. I just want all of this to be out of my life. I feel like there is a glass ceiling where I'm looking at who I could be, but I'm just stuck where I am. I'm tired of being stuck. I'm going to beat this, and everyone who is around me and makes a difference in my life will see and notice it. Most importantly, I'm going to stop sleeping on my own life and finally achieve the things that I am destined to achieve and obtain the happiness that was placed here on this earth by God for me to take hold of!
Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right. - Henry Ford

newguyneedschange

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    Porn made me feel tough when really I got weaker.
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Re: I'm going to get it together
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2014, 06:16:56 PM »
Way to be man, I'm starting my reboot today to. I've been in your exact spot before, but then I gave up on trying. I told myself that it would be easier after I graduated, or maybe when I get a little less stressed out it'll just go away. I can tell you right now, if you give up you'll kick yourself later. I'm proud your taking a more active step then I did when I was in your shoes.

monknasty

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Re: I'm going to get it together
« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2014, 09:35:47 AM »
it is helpful for me to hear your post. I am beginning now to realize the seriousness of my own addiction. I'm rooting for you man!

somethingelse

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Re: I'm going to get it together
« Reply #3 on: April 03, 2014, 09:41:57 AM »
Welcome Sean

I know what you mean about the whole glass-ceiling thing. You can make it shatter, that's for sure. I felt like your opening had a lot to do with my own struggle, you probably put it better in words. Fight hard and you can get clean from this, many people have.

xc43

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Re: I'm going to get it together
« Reply #4 on: April 03, 2014, 10:53:34 AM »
Go for your dream man! Break the glass ceiling!

SeanKirk91

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Re: I'm going to get it together
« Reply #5 on: April 09, 2014, 11:05:57 PM »
Thank you guys so much! I'm only about 14 days since my last reset, but I'm determined to make it. I'm going to shoot for about 3 months of abstinence before any testing or trying to have sex again. I've noticed a lot of energy in the past few days and it's really helping me to complete the work that I missed over the semester. I'm hoping that I can get it all done and graduate this semester, wish me luck!
Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right. - Henry Ford

moviesrus

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Re: I'm going to get it together
« Reply #6 on: April 11, 2014, 08:02:12 PM »
Keep at it! I wanna hear your success story one day.

KroSen

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Re: I'm going to get it together
« Reply #7 on: April 12, 2014, 02:37:07 AM »
I know those shoes you're in. I've been in the same situation. College (university here in Australia), was such a struggle for me. I used to always be a high grades kind of guy and never failed anything through high school. Anyway ended up taking me 8 years to get through university. I did make a course change, but even then, I was doing something I loved, but hated that I could never sit down and focus to study because I'd end up watching porn the whole time. Long story short, I began to fail units and was not able to graduate with all my friends, and also missed a whole lot of job opportunities following that.
Good on you for getting onto this now and making the most out of college. It will be one of your smartest college decisions you ever make!

SeanKirk91

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Still Going....
« Reply #8 on: April 28, 2014, 12:23:04 AM »
Soooo I'm still working on this whole thing. As you can tell by my counter I've had a couple of resets in the past week. I believe they were the result of stress piled on me from school & my relationship. Although I managed to salvage three of my classes, I didn't get the necessary grades in the other three to graduate, so I have to work out something with my teachers to try and finish up over the summer. As far as my relationship goes there wasn't even a problem, I just freaked out when I didn't hear from her for a little while. Turns out she just fell asleep. I think with me being sad about graduation and not being able to talk to her led to my reset this weekend. The positive thing is I can now recognize a set of triggers for me. I've learned that stress or depression tend to break down my willpower, and excessive video gaming seems to cause that too. I'm going to get back into yoga and meditation to help circumvent the stress part, and limit the amount of video gaming I do in a week. I'm also going to take a more active approach to this thing and start working out. I hear these things help, so I figure, why not?! The part that scares me the most not having the wonderful connection I've had lately with my girlfriend. For the first time I've been able to give her the intimacy she's crave and to really express myself to her, but I'm so afraid that if I don't get it together, I'll lose my ability to do that & she'll eventually walk away. Heck I haven't even told about the past couple of resets because I don't want to stress her out any further than I already have. All I know is, I'm going to keep trying. I claim my victory over this in Jesus's name and I refuse to ever give up!
Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right. - Henry Ford

noises1990

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    Dude, I've really got some issues
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Re: I'm going to get it together
« Reply #9 on: April 28, 2014, 05:37:51 AM »
Hey there man! Always focus on your goals and know exactly what you want to achieve! Also you can try and visualize the positive effects that you're gonna experience when you're over this period of time. That should comfort you through the dark times and keep you on your track!
On this matter, to me it matters most to not let myself down with it... Not others... But firstly myself since I have finally realized how much damage has PMO caused to me and how I've been missing and failing in my relationships, not only the romantic ones.

Stay strong bro! And fight the good fight!

SeanKirk91

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Re: I'm going to get it together
« Reply #10 on: September 04, 2014, 11:33:17 PM »
It's been a long time since I've been on here and I haven't been exactly doing well with the good fight. Between the stress of classes, my relationship, and fighting relapses this has been really hard. I'm still going to keep trying but it has been really hard. i can barely crack my previous record and thats just about 22 days. I'm going to post more on here and join the NoFap forum also so I can stay strong and check in with the support. I'm just tired of feeling like shit man, I'm tired of feeling like I'm not doing anything with myself, and I'm tired of feeling like less than a man. I'm just tired......
Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right. - Henry Ford

Promise

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Re: I'm going to get it together
« Reply #11 on: September 05, 2014, 12:56:25 AM »
This is a great (but long) thread, and might help you out:
http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=15558.0

Perhaps you're using PMO to fill something in your life that you think is missing?  Maybe it's an adequate method for dealing with stress that you lack?

SeanKirk91

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Re: I'm going to get it together
« Reply #12 on: December 04, 2014, 04:46:55 PM »
Still working on being better and being more consistent. Going to really start tracking and keeping up with my progress. I read the thread that Promise left the link for & I think that it will really help me out. I've gotten the spread sheet together and I'm going to make a plan of marking everything before I go to bed. I'll put up the links and stuff later too. Has anyone though of making a mobile app for this site also?
Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right. - Henry Ford