Author Topic: Hello all new here.  (Read 118 times)

Kenny77

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Hello all new here.
« on: September 15, 2019, 11:12:05 AM »
Hello fellas, really glad to find this website. I am a 50 yr old Man, desperately want to stop viewing porn/masturbating daily. I purchased Gary Wilson's book, really great book with a lot of helpful material. If any of you guy's here have any suggestions, please by all means send me some suggestions!! i would really appreciate it. I'm an open book so any questions about myself and personal life that i can answer that may help i am more than  willing to answer.

-Need help in NJ.

Pete McVries

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Re: Hello all new here.
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2019, 12:21:35 PM »
When you're finished with the YBOP book, get yourself a copy of 'The Porn Myth'. It's an excellent read!
eleven months clean and counting...

DoneAtLast

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Re: Hello all new here.
« Reply #2 on: September 16, 2019, 12:13:39 PM »
Welcome!  Hang around, stay a while.  You're glad to find us, we're glad you came.

Ditto on Pete's recommendation. 

On other suggestions, it is hard to say since I don't know much about your situation except that you're 50, so I can say a few things specific to that.  A bunch of the stuff you read will be directed a bit more towards 20-somethings, so some of the brain science might apply a bit differently, like escalation, rebooting timelines, withdrawals, and so forth.  Then again, it might be exactly the same, but if things seem to be different for you, you'll know why.  I'm 37, and it was a bit different for me because I was in my early 20s when I got DSL, and mid 20s when it was fast enough for videos, so my exposure was different.

My own anecdotal, completely unscientific observation is that many people hooked on porn have an emotional component to their addiction that is often the hardest enemy to beat.  Sometimes it is as obvious as sexual abuse, other times it is more common like some bad relationships, and other times it is something a bit more hidden like attachment anxieties, social anxieties, or bad memories of adolescence.  My completely unscientific perception also shows that young men often will get addicted for no reason except that they started looking and it was a slippery slope, but older men often attribute it more to the emotional component.  I don't know you and I very well could be completely wrong, but it is worth mentioning in case it does apply.

Depending on where you live, sometimes there are therapists who have sub-specialties in porn/sex addiction, which is good because not all therapists are on board with the idea that porn addiction is so damaging.  It isn't an option for everyone.  I explored the option but found it to be cost prohibitive for me at the time, though I did my best to approach my reboot from that angle and it worked well for me.  Dr. Peter Kleponis was the one I had hoped to work with, but lack of insurance at the time really killed that opportunity.

Kenny77

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Re: Hello all new here.
« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2019, 10:50:48 PM »
Thanks Done at last. Really appreciate your comment. I definitely will be sticking around, learning as much as i possibly can. you guys are great!